Nine Months
by SwagSammich78
Summary: Drabble series! Sometimes, dreams change and plans are altered. Can they both handle it? Is a stroller really THAT expensive? And who the hell needs a Prada diaper bag? Pairing: Who do you THINK?
1. Late

Um...don't ask me why I keep starting new stuff. Just go with it.

Old Soul's not forgotten. All Roads Lead to Washington isn't, either. I've just had this one in my brain for too long. Time for it to get out.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks. Otherwise everyone would probably want to kill me for messing stuff up by now.

* * *

Late

Huey Freeman was in over his head.

"Can you come out?" He sighed, running a hand over his tired face. "_Please_?"

Way in over his head.

When he and his girlfriend of five years, Jazmine DuBois, had started dating back in high school he'd never imagined they'd last so long. Sure, she was cute and funny and had a tendency to make him smile as much as he tried _not _to, but anyone who had eyes or a half working brain could tell that people like him, indifferent, intolerant and cold, and people like her bubbly, giggly and optimistic, never worked. On the real even he didn't know how they were still together. It was safe to say she probably didn't either. Not only did they share extremely different interests, they also had different plans for where they wanted to be in ten years. She wanted to be _married_. Good god, he couldn't even see himself being married in fifty years. And married to _Jazmine_ of all people?

Alright, so that wasn't fair. Despite all the differences, despite the odds that were stacked against them, they hardly ever fought (and if they did it was either over in five minutes, or they were mad at each other for so long that they'd forget what they were mad about) and when they did...well, the making up wasn't so bad.

Actually, the making up wasn't bad at all. And when a guy was in his third year of college, double majoring in History and African American studies so that he could go to law school and give the United States court system a big punch in the face, he needed a good stress reliever. Jazmine, who had wanted to be a veterinarian for as long as either one of them could remember, was basically the same way.

So at least they had _that._ Then again, depending on stress relievers so much was why they were probably in trouble _now._

"Alright." Huey pushed himself off the still locked bathroom door, folding his arms over his chest and setting his brow. "So...today is November fifteenth." He tapped his chin, trying to go back in his mind as far as possible. "And your last period was...October...?"

Shit. He couldn't remember. And with Jazmine currently giving him the silent treatment it wasn't exactly the easiest to figure out.

While most men cringed at the thought of their significant other's menstrual cycle, Huey found it to be...well...tolerable. Since guys were usually so ignorant about a woman's period they ended up being completely thrown off by their girlfriend's sudden mood changes, their sudden bursting into tears over the smallest things (then again Jazmine did that even when she _wasn't _on her period), their cravings for sugar and their begging for ibuprofen. Well, Huey wasn't. He'd broken Jazmine out of the habit of keeping "feminine issues" to herself from the jump, so he was so used to her cycle it was like clockwork when she randomly started yelling about who left the remote on the floor or tearfully begging him to go to Walgreen's and get her a box of tampons eleven o clock at night. Huey wasn't one who let himself be walked on, but he respected the female anatomy.

He _had _to. He wasn't the one that had to worry about bleeding out once every twenty-eight days for the next thirty years.

Which was why it was so odd he didn't remember. He remembered _everything_. He remember Cindy's country cousin Dallas' birthday and he hadn't seen her since they were eleven. He remember his entire textbook for his Latin American history class word for word! How could he not remember the last date of...

"Jazmine." His patience was wearing thin. It was seven in the morning, he already had to rush if he wanted to reach school on time for his exam, and there was no time to play childish games. "If you don't open this door in five seconds, I will break it down."

A tiny sniffle came from inside the bathroom, followed by an annoyed voice.

"Then you'll be the one paying the landlord for it, not me."

"Goddamnit, Jazmine!" He sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. "I don't even know why you're mad at me! So what if I can't remember the date of your last period? You can barely remember it!"

"That's the problem!" Jazmine shouted through the door. Her voice dropped. "_I _can't remember, either."

Huey sighed. That girl and her dramatic tendencies. He'd be much less stressed if he were single.

Then again, he was so used to her he didn't think he'd be as happy as he was now. Not that he'd admit that.

"Well, fine!" He threw up his hands. "You can't remember! So what? You had one in October, it's only November-"

"That's the thing!" Jazmine wailed. "I don't know if I had one in October!"

Well. _That _changed everything.

Huey's eyebrows rose as far as they could go. He blinked, staring so hard at the door it was as if he were trying to burn a hole in it. Jazmine sniffed again.

"Don't look at me like that!"

"I can't even see you!"

"Well I _know _how you're looking!"

"Jazmine." Huey was trying to be calm about the situation. He really was. "What are you trying to say?" She was quiet and he sighed again. "Do you think something's wrong? Do you think you're..." He swallowed, trying to get out the word every sexually active black male feared more than "Twenty-five to life". "...Late?"

There was a long silence. It was so long that Huey thought if she didn't get talking soon he just might have a heart attack. He heard a sigh.

"Yes." Her voice was calm, which meant she was most likely about to start freaking out. Jazmine was a lot like the calm before a storm; you fell into the trance of the tranquility, then the storm hit you like a tornado. Jazmine's personality was, in fact, a lot like a tornado.

...His girlfriend's period was late and he was thinking about her resemblance to a tornado?

"Alright." He sighed. "Well, what's the last period you do remember?"

She sighed as well. "September."

"September?!" Her twentieth birthday had been in September! He'd hit that rabbit with his car and she'd been mad at him for days in September! September was forever ago! "Jazmine, what the hell-"

"That's the last one I remember!" She yelled defensively. "I might have had one in October! I might not have! I don't know, okay?" And then she was crying again, which only served to annoy Huey more.

"Well there's no use _crying _about it!" He said sharply, mostly because he was annoyed but partly because what-the-hell-was-going-on?! "You can't remember your last period. It's alright." It _wasn't_, but for once in his life he'd take a crack at this optimism thing. "October was stressful. You had that MCAT and I had the LSAT and there was a lot going on...maybe you're stressed."

"Oh, I'm stressed _now_."

Huey leaned against the door again. "Well...maybe the reason you're so stressed is because...I don't know, maybe you're PMS-ing."

WRONG ANSWER. Huey mentally facepalmed himself and groaned. One thing he'd learned long ago, one thing that was practically a _law_...you _never, ever, **ever **_told a woman she was PMS-ing. Ever.

The silence that hung in the air was possibly the first time in his life he didn't appreciate the quiet. After a long moment, Jazmine spoke.

"Huey." Her words were sharp, so cold that there was no doubt he'd rubbed off on her. "Go to Walgreens. Get me a..." Huey could practically see her flinch at the words that left her mouth. "Pregnancy test. Do not come home without it. I might...possibly kill you."

He didn't doubt it.

Huey scratched the back of his head, wincing. "Um...which brand?"

Did that kind of thing matter? He didn't know! He was an expert in the woman's menstrual cycle, not the woman's pregnancy scare! Holy crap, she was having a pregnancy scare! _They _were having a pregnancy scare!

It was getting a bit harder to breathe.

"I don't give a crap, Huey!" Jazmine yelled. "Just buy one!" She seemed to change her mind. "No, two! God, I don't care. Just _get me a damn_-"

"Alright alright! Damn!" Huey rolled his eyes, going to the couch in the other room and grabbing his backpack. He got his keys off the end table and glared at the bathroom door as he walked past it to the front door. "Maybe if you didn't yell so damn much-"

"I'M SORRY!" Jazmine was suddenly screaming; it was so loud Huey dropped his backpack and jumped back, his eyes wide. "I didn't mean to y-yell at-"

"Oh, for the love of-" Huey sighed, stepping over his book bag and dug into his pocket, pulling out a pocket knife. He crouched down so that he was eye level with the doorknob and twisted the blade inside the lock, jiggling it a certain way. Since the lock was flimsy and his lock picking skills were too much for the inferior door to handle it clicked open with ease. He twisted the doorknob and opened it.

Jazmine was sitting on the edge of the bathtub in one of his t shirts. Her hair was in a wild, poofy ponytail and her face was in her hands. She was crying (what else was new) so hard that he was surprised she hadn't started hiccuping yet like she usually did when she was upset.

_Hic_.

There they were.

"Jazmine." She didn't even look at him as he walked into the bathroom, dropping the lid on the toilet down and sitting on it. "It's going to be okay. I'll buy the test, and you'll take it, and it will probably be nothing. Because...well..." Jazmine lifted her head to look at him with red rimmed eyes. "It just won't be."

Jazmine swallowed. "R-really?"

"Er..." No. "Yes?"

Jazmine hiccuped again, looking back down at the floor. "I guess so."

"Good." Huey got up, heading for the door. "Don't you have to go to school?"

Jazmine sniffed. "I'm not going."

"Aw, come on-"

"I'm not _going_." Jazmine wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I wouldn't be able to concentrate."

As quiet as it was kept he wouldn't be able to, either. His mind was so preoccupied with this whole thing that he couldn't even remember what the exam was on anymore. "Alright then." Huey picked up his bag, opening the front door. "Well, I'm gone. Call me if you need me."

_Sniff. _"Okay."

Huey closed the door behind him, starting for the stairs. It was nothing. It _had _to be nothing. They were twenty! He was going to law school, she was going to med school, and they were responsible! They used protection! They filed their income taxes!

He tried to imagine law school. He tried to imagine law school with a stroller. He tried to imagine law school with a stroller and an actual _baby _in the stroller.

He really _was _going to throw up. There was no way he could go to class. When he got out the apartment building into the cool November morning air he took a deep breath. Instead of heading to his car he walked in the opposite direction towards the Walgreen's down the street.

He didn't have to worry about an insanely hormonal Jazmine killing him. If this _wasn't _just a scare and there would actually have to be a stroller in his immediate future, he would probably die on his own.

* * *

...Teehee.

-Kelsey


	2. Tests and Distress

I know, again?! Does this girl have a life?! Actually, yes. Just not on weekdays. Jerks. :P

Thank you to KrisD.723 and TRIGGER MIKE THE GREAT for the reviews!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks. ...Seriously. I don't.

* * *

Tests and De-stress

Being that it was seven thirty on a Monday morning, to say Walgreens was empty would be an understatement. Huey walked through the sliding doors and was greeted by a quiet, deserted store, save the horrible elevator-like music and the gum popping girl behind the counter reading _Jet_, wearing a big I-just-don't-give-a-fuck expression on her face. Sighing, he walked towards the back of the store, feeling as if he were taking the walk of shame.

It wasn't finding the pregnancy tests that was such a problem. They were right on aisle six, stacked neatly into tidy rows beside the various boxes of condoms that also sat on the shelves (seriously, did someone in the corporate office put them together as some kind of joke?). So, boom. He was there, the tests were here, he could buy one, and get the hell out. Right?

Well…no.

Huey picked up a box, reading it. God, this was weird. Even in a store where he was the only customer he felt awkward. It was even worse being that he didn't know what he was doing.

"What _is _this?" He complained aloud, mainly for his own benefit. "What happened to the simple plus sign/negative sign? Blue means positive? Three packs? Do you really need to be _that _sure?"

Well, duh. Yeah. You did. He sighed again, putting down the box and reading over the dozen of, maybe more, brands, labels, and prices that dotted the shelf.

First response! Two + One bonus test! Early result- 3 weeks! Pregnancy test kit!

Who the hell needed a whole _kit_?!

Huey was starting to get a headache. Mandarin Chinese was easier to comprehend than this. Which one was right? Was it better to buy in bulk? Wait, this wasn't Sam's Club…if he got a more expensive one, would it work better? If he got a cheap one would it read negative, only for them to get a big fat "PSYCH BITCH!" months later when Jazmine randomly went to the hospital because of labor pains?

Huey clenched his eyes shut and grit his teeth, reaching into his pocket. He knew for a fact that he'd probably regret this later, but…he pulled out his cell phone, flipping it open and dialing a number, putting it to his ear. He tried not to feel too ashamed as he waited for the call to pick up. After all, he never went to anyone for help. _Anyone_.

This, however…well, this was a special circumstance. After four rings, the person picked up and Huey breathed a sigh of relief. Which, didn't last long.

"Yo!" His best friend, Michael Caesar, hollered into the phone. "Whut's good mah brotha from anotha motha?"

Unlike Huey, who had left Woodcrest as fast as he could to pursue a higher degree of education in Illinois, Caesar was still in Maryland. Alright, it wasn't his fault. He'd gotten a full scholarship to the University of North Carolina for soccer and had played until back in March when he tore his ACL and had to have surgery. Not only had he lost his scholarship but he'd had to move back home while he recovered. Since his grades were good enough to transfer he'd gotten into the University of Maryland, but still missed playing soccer. Huey sighed (for possibly the one thousandth time that morning), glancing around to see if anyone were around.

"Hey, man." He faced forward again, glaring at the stupid tests. "I…kind of need your help."

"Forreal?" He could hear sheets rustling in the background, which meant he was probably just waking up. "Alright. What's up?"

"My blood pressure?" Huey answered sarcastically. When his reply was met by silence he rolled his eyes. "Well…Jazmine's…er…"

Why was this so hard to _talk _about?

"Something wrong wit Jazmine?" Caesar's voice was louder now and Huey had to hold the phone away from his ear just to keep from going deaf. "What happened? Is she alright?"

"Yes!" Huey hissed, trying to find the button to turn the volume down. He'd had his dumbass phone for a good six months and it _still _confused him. He knew how to work a computer like nobody's business, but hand him a phone with more than nine buttons on it and suddenly there was a problem. "She's fine, okay?"

"Then what's the problem?"

Huey inhaled deeply through his nose before putting the phone back up to his ear. He didn't know why he was being such a baby about it. If he'd been mature enough to get in this situation in the first place then he might as well be mature enough to talk about it. "Don't tell anyone, alright?" He said, articulating his words so that Caesar could comprehend the seriousness of them. "I mean no one. Not your mama. Not Cindy. Not the mailman. You'd better not even think about it too hard."

"Okay, okay! Have some faith in me, man! Now what's going on?"

Well. Here went nothing. "Her period. It's late."

Today seemed to be filled with a lot of silences. He could hear the still air in his ear, which was only broken by Caesar's breathing. And then…

"YEEEEE! OH SHIT!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"

"What the-" Huey held the phone away from his ear again, once again trying to adjust the volume as Caesar laughed. "This isn't funny!"

"OH YES IT IS!" Caesar's voice, five times as loud as it was before, seemed to ring out through the store. Huey groaned; he'd somehow cut on the speakerphone! "YOU THE RESPONSIBLE ONE! LEMME FIND OUT YOU FORGOT HOW TO PULL OUT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-"

"What is wrong with you?!" Huey shouted, no longer caring that the entire store, no matter how empty it was, could hear his conversation. At this point the store could've been packed and he wouldn't have given a damn. He'd called his best friend to confide in him, something he almost _never _did with _anyone_, and all he could do was laugh? "This is serious! She could be…she could-" He couldn't even _say _the word! This was ridiculous! He fumbled with the phone, horrified, mortified, and irritated beyond reason all at once. "Stop laughing!"

"YOU GOTTA ADMIT IT'S FUNNY!" Caesar's voice shouted again. Huey grimaced, trying to turn down the volume once again. The effort was futile. "I MEAN, I'D EXPECT THIS FROM RILEY! SHIT, IT WOULD HAPPEN TO _ME _BEFORE YOU! BUT _YOU_? BEING A FATHER? THAT'S THE FUNNIEST SHIT SINCE-"

"You are not helping!" Huey shouted into the mouthpiece, forgetting his composure completely. "Are you serious?!"

"OH, COME ON!" Caesar stopped laughing. "YOU KNOW I'M ONLY LAUGHING CUZ YOU PLAYIN'. YOU BEING IRRESPONSIBLE? THE DAY THAT WOULD HAPPEN WOULD BE THE DAY THE APOCALYPSE CAME!YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO GET SOMEBODY PREGNANT!"

_Finally._ Huey managed to turn off the speakerphone, his ears ringing and his head pounding. He sighed, putting the phone back up to his ear.

"Then I guess you'd better find shelter, because I'm not kidding," He said in a slightly calmer, while still aggravated, tone. Caesar stopped immediately.

"Wait…you forreal?"

"_Yes_!" Huey shouted. "Look, I'm lost. This is not my area of expertise. I'm standing here in the middle of a damn Walgreens and there's about twenty different pregnancy tests sitting in my face and I don't know which one to get."

"Hmm." Now that Caesar was aware of the severity of the situation he had calmed down considerably. "Well, why don't you get the cheapest one?"

Huey winced. "What if it's ineffective?"

"True. That's why dey make it cheap." Caesar sighed. "Well, what about the most expensive one?"

The most expensive one was seventeen dollars. "That's…a lot for a stick that a woman urinates on and throws away minutes later."

"Well," Caesar replied patiently. "Consider this; what costs more? A pregnancy test, or the money it costs to raise a child until they're eighteen?"

Well. There went his sanity.

"I can barely pay to raise _myself_." Huey moaned. "Ceez, she can't be pregnant. If she is…" His voice trailed off and he shook his head. "Nevermind. Well, thanks."

_'For making me feel twenty times _worse_,' _The afro sporting man thought to himself. Caesar snorted.

"Don't stress over it until she gets a test," He said, attempting to be reassuring. "It could be a scare. Her clock could just be off. These things happen."

Huey glanced up at the shelves again. "Man, which one am I supposed to _buy_?"

Caesar laughed again. "Forreal tho, I'd buy all them janks. Wanna be sure, right?"

He'd probably meant it as a joke. But as soon as he hung up the phone and put it back in his pocket, Huey glanced around. Making sure that no one was paying any attention he began grabbing box after box of tests, not finishing until his arms were full and he'd gotten one of each. Just as he began to contemplate on if he _really _wanted to be ridiculous to the point where he'd spend close to one hundred bucks on pregnancy tests his phone started ringing.

_"Ah yes yes y'all, I got the fever for the flavor  
Of a beat y'all, I stand tall gets raw like beef y'all  
I moo moo like a cow honey-child, or, ooh, ah one two  
Cause I check it, baby just lend me your ear  
For a second, cause I'm wreckin eardrums cold black-n-deckin  
Hold on the horse cause the force is like dark  
If you cant slide then stay out the park-"_

He was going to kill Jazmine. While he was glad that she'd taken a shine to old school hip-hop (he'd had to introduce her to something that wasn't that damn _Glee _soundtrack), it was odd how she could barely work an oven that used gas instead of electric heating yet she could find the time to take his phone and put ringtones on it without him knowing. He groaned.

He could ignore it, but it could be her, calling to tell him there was nothing to worry about and that they could just put this whole thing behind them. He dropped the boxes to the floor, wincing as they clattered and slid loudly on the hard floor. He shook his head, flipping his phone open once again. "Hey."

"OH MY GOD!"

"_What _the hell?!" Huey snapped, rubbing his ear with stiff fingers and moving the phone to the other ear. "Cindy?!"

Cindy McPhearson, while considerably less annoying than when they'd been growing up, still was an expert at irking his nerves to no end. Honestly, if she and Jazmine weren't best friends he'd probably never talk to her. Even when she was states away, going to college in Pennsylvania, the annoyance never ended. And this was _not _a good time.

"Cindy, I don't have time to-"

"HUEY FREEMAN!" She screamed, not even giving him the chance to boot her loud ass off the phone. "DID YOU GET JAZMINE PREGNANT?! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!"

"Whoa!" She was right; what the hell _had _he been thinking? Of all people to entrust a secret with he'd picked loud mouthed Caesar?! It hadn't even taken him five minutes to open his damn mouth! This was bullshit! "How the hell-"

"You'd better fix this, Freeman!" Cindy snapped through the phone. She didn't sound angry; it was more like she was trying to be intimidating, which was pointless. Huey never got intimidated.

Well…as long as it didn't involve potential fetuses, he was quickly discovering.

"Why are you yelling at _me_?" Huey shot back. "In fact, why are you even calling me? This is none of your business!"

"Jazmine's my best friend! She is my business!"

"Go…drink out of the toilet, you mutt!" He snapped, slamming the phone shut so hard he cracked the screen. "Damn!"

Still fuming, he picked up the boxes, putting a few back. Fine, he'd admit it. He was worried. But there was no use in being a complete lunatic and buying out the entire store's supply of pregnancy tests. Instead he grabbed four different boxes (it might have been a lot but it was progress) and walked down the aisle to the front counter, trying to look as casual as possible for a man who literally held the fate of his life in his hands. Considering that he was all but having a heart attack on the inside.

"Here." He dumped them on the counter in front of a man who was in the gum chewing girl's place. He was reading Sports Illustrated and didn't look any more interested than the last girl. He put down his magazine, took in the various boxes that littered the counter, and rolled his eyes.

"I'm pretty sure you only need one," He said, raising his eyebrow. His name tag read _Troy_ in shiny, silver letters. Huey tapped his fingers on the counter and raised an eyebrow back as if challenging him to say something else. He was _not _in the mood.

"You find everything alright?" Troy asked, not sounding the least bit concerned for if he had. Huey nodded curtly. "Cause you kinda sounded like you were struggling back there."

So he thought he was being funny.

"Unless you have any useful advice, which I doubt you do," He all but snapped at the cashier. "Just ring them up so I can go. _Troy_."

Troy snorted, beginning to scan them all and sticking them in plastic bags. He obviously underestimated the stressed, tired, borderline homicidal man that was standing in front of him. "You want advice?" He stacked the bags on the counter in between them, smirking. "Tell dat broad to keep her legs closed."

BAM!

It happened so fast that Troy didn't even have time to blink. One minute he was laughing and the next a fist was connecting with his face, sending him falling back into the shelf of tobacco products that were stocked behind him. The entire shelf fell down with a loud crash, its contents and various parts spilling over the disoriented man, who was now sporting a fresh black eye. Huey smirked.

Well, it wasn't a solution to his problems. But it sure had helped.

"Thanks for your help!" Huey spat in a mock friendly voice as he picked up the bags and tossed a couple of bills on the counter. He shot a smug look towards Troy, who was so out of it he couldn't even tell the difference between the floor and the ceiling. "You should probably clean that up." He strolled towards the sliding doors, whistling and ignoring the pained groaning that came from behind him.

Five different brands of pregnancy tests? Forty dollars.

Beating the hell out of some ignorant nigga who dared talk about his girlfriend?

Priceless.

* * *

Um...that's...about it? Wait, it's not! Just because I don't want to potentially get sued (yeah, right), Huey's ringtone is "Return of the B-Boy" by (SQUEE!!!!!!!) The Pharcyde. Love them. Love themmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

...Right. Thanks for reading! Review! ...Okay?

-Kelsey


	3. Uh Oh

Um...the next chapter in Old Soul's almost done. Honest. I haven't forgotten (so don't message me anymore, you-know-who! Damn!)

Thanks to AyisienneCat17 and TRIGGER MIKE THE GREAT for the reviews! They were hella tight, yo! :P

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Uh-Oh

"Well." Huey checked his watch. "It's been three minutes."

"Yup." Jazmine nodded.

"So…I guess we should look at it now."

"Uh huh."

The two glanced at each other before looking away, instead choosing to look at other material items the bathroom possessed, such as the ever-so-lovely towel hanger or the suddenly fascinated yellow walls. Anything to avoid looking at the long, rectangular stick that was in between Jazmine's index and middle finger, face up in between the both of them.

"Alright." Jazmine bit her lip and shot a glance toward Huey, who had a contemplative expression on his face. "You look down."

"Me?" He straightened. "Why me? You look. It's your test."

"So?" Jazmine's voice dropped to an almost inaudible mumble. "This is your fault…"

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Did you say this is my fault?"

"No."

"Really? I think you did."

"Well, I didn't."

"Jazmine."

"Huey."

"Just check the damn test."

"_You _check!"

"No, you!"

"For the love of…we'll _both _look." He leveled her with a dark look when she opened her mouth to protest. "Okay?"

She sighed. "Fine."

"At the count of three." This was so stupid. It was as if they were playing kickball and deciding on which team had to play the field first. "One…"

Wow. This was nerve wracking.

"Two…"

Jazmine swallowed.

"Three."

They both looked down, their foreheads pressed together. There was a collective intake of breath. There was a long, drawn out pause.

And then Jazmine let out a shriek, dropping the test on the ground as if it had caught on fire. Huey looked at her, his eyebrows raised.

"What the hell was _that_?"

"I don't know!" Jazmine shouted back, her voice panicked. "But that can't be right!"

She was right. Either his mind was working slower than usual or he was just in shock. "Okay. Well, there's definitely six more. So if you think you should try another-"

"Yup."

"Okay, then."

"Uh huh…"

Six tests later they were both slumped against the bathtub, their eyes staring ahead non-blinking. Neither of them spoke. Neither of them dared to make a sound.

"Maybe...the eighth time is a charm?" Jazmine tried hopefully. Huey gave her a look.

"Maybe…we should just go back to not talking right now?"

"Well, we're going to have to talk about it eventually!"

"I understand that." Huey covered his eyes with his hand. "I'd just rather wait to address it when I'm sure I won't die of a heart attack."

"You're not the only one freaking out!" Jazmine shouted, throwing up her hands. "This is…this is…what are we going to _do?!" _Huey stared at her. "Oh, my god. We're not even twenty-five. We're not even twenty-_one_. I'm a statistic, Huey! I'm a living, breathing, pregnant statistic!" She grabbed his shoulders, shaking him. "We're _statistics_!"

"Jazmine-"

"We're irresponsible adults!"

"Jazmine!"

"We're going to have to drop out of college and get low end jobs that result in us living in a trailer and selling crack and smacking each other around!" Jazmine was practically hysterical. "We're going to be drug dealing parents who live off welfare, kool-aid and Oodles of Noodles!"

"JAZMINE!" Huey grabbed her shoulders, giving her a light shake of his own. "Calm down! Or, at least try to." He dropped his hands, groaning. "We're not going to become drug dealing parents. We're not going to become anything _yet_. We've got to make a plan."

Jazmine blinked, her eyes misty. "A…plan?"

"Yes. A plan."

"_We_?"

"Yes…" Huey was giving her an odd look. "We."

Jazmine sniffed. "So you're not going to leave me and move to the opposite end of the country and refuse to pay child support?"

Huey raised an eyebrow.

"It happens on divorce court all the time!" Jazmine howled, her voice echoing through the bathroom. Huey rolled his eyes. "Seriously! T-teenage couples who end up having children _never _stay together! You know the statistics!" She made a face. "Right?"

"Well." Huey seemed to be thinking. "In teenagers, less than twenty five percent of babies are born into wedlock, and approximately 40 percent of women become pregnant _before _they reach twenty. And you turned twenty a couple months ago so…technically you aren't a statistic?"

"Was that supposed to help me feel better?!"

"You asked!"

"It was supposed to be rhetorical!" Jazmine wailed. Huey flinched. She covered her face with her hands. "I don't understand this! I mean, I know nothing's one hundred percent effective-"

"More like 97 percent."

"So we're in the _3 percent_?" Jazmine's face crumpled. "That's bullshit!"

Huey shook his head, taking a deep breath. "Look," He said, turning towards her. Obviously one of them had to be diplomatic about this. "As…not excited as I am about this, what's done is done. So we have to weigh our options."

Jazmine sniffed. "We have those?"

Huey rolled his eyes. "_Yes_. Can you try to keep it together for at least two minutes?"

Jazmine nodded.

"Good. Well-"

"MY PARENTS ARE GOING TO KILL ME!" Jazmine screeched, causing Huey to cover his ears and swear under his breath. "They're going to kill _us_!"

Huey would've pointed out how taking Tom would be easier than beating up a two year old, but he decided not to go there when it was obvious that Jazmine was freaking out. Especially when she winced, grabbing her chest and making a funny wheezing sound. Oh, great.

"Here." Huey reached into the top drawer under the sink, slapping her inhaler into her palm. "They're not going to have to kill you if you wind up killing yourself. Now calm the hell down."

She nodded obediently, pressing down on the inhaler and breathing in deeply, making a face. After a few moments she let it drop away from her mouth, sighing.

"Okay. I'm calm."

She was so lying, but there was no use in pointing it out. It wasn't like he felt any better about the entire thing.

"Alright." He began ticking off points with his fingers. "There's a few things we can do. For one, winter break's in a few weeks. If you _really _want to tell your parents, then that would probably be a good time to. There's adoption. There's abortion." Jazmine made a face. "I'm just listing options!"

"I didn't say anything!"

"You made a face."

"I always make faces. You always make faces," Jazmine pointed out. "We make faces."

Huey ignored her. "We could make a doctor appointment. That way we could actually figure out how far along you are-"

"Wait." Jazmine gave him a funny look. "You really _aren't _going to leave me?"

Huey looked genuinely confused at that. "What?"

"I mean…" Jazmine rubbed her arm uncomfortably. "You _hate _children."

"I do not."

"You do!" She pointed out. "You locked Cindy's cousin in the closet when he broke your Xbox controller."

"Because I hate Cindy, so why would I care about her family?" Jazmine rolled her eyes. "Look, that's not the point. We haven't even figured out what we're going to do yet. _We_," He emphasized. "Not you. Not me. Not Sabrina down the hall or your parents. We."

Jazmine sniffed again, her face crumpling. Before Huey could react she was throwing her arms around him, practically squeezing the life out of him.

"You're so s-sweet!" She cried, her tears already soaking through his t shirt. He made a face.

"I'm sweet because I'm _responsible_?"

"So you're not going to California?"

"Jazmine, no."

"You're not mad?"

"I'm not jumping for joy but I'm not going to go punch a hole in the wall or anything."

"You're-"

"I'm not leaving you, okay?" He snapped, annoyed. "Damn!" He pat her shoulder, sighing. "It's okay. We'll figure it out."

Jazmine nodded, still crying. Huey leaned back, pretty sure that as soon as the whole thing sank in he'd be ready to cry himself.

"So…" Jazmine swallowed. "You're not just saying that, are you? Like how on that one movie I forced you to watch with me on lifetime where the guy told his pregnant girlfriend he was going to marry her and the next morning she woke up and all his stuff was gone?"

This girl watched too much damn TV. Huey smacked his palm against his forehead.

This was obviously going to take awhile.

* * *

Shorter. It picks up. Honest. :P

Thanks for reading!!

-Kelsey


	4. The DuBois

This one was a lot longer than expected. But oh, well. They length will vary, I suppose. This is a long issue. Heh.

Thanks to MizzC, woowoo13, and sweetiepye2 for the reviews!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks. Obviously.

* * *

The DuBois

"Ready?"

"Nope."

Huey glared down at Jazmine, who was standing on the doorstep beside him, frowning at the front door. He let out a loud, exasperated sigh.

"You're the one who thought they should know!"

"I know!" Jazmine admitted, sighing as well. "But...the idea seemed way better in my head. Then we actually got here."

Huey sighed again. When they'd finished their exams and school had been let out for semester break, the first thing Jazmine had insisted they do was go back home. They went back home every other school break and this was the break they were supposed to be going out to California to see their friend Hiro. Obviously, that had been out of the question.

"Well," He tried. "They're going to have to find out eventually. If we...you know...keep it."

As much as they'd talked over their options (and it had definitely been _a lot _of talking), they hadn't quite come to terms with which one was the best. The initial plan was to get Jazmine to a doctor first before making any big decisions. Which was another reason they'd _had _to go to Woodcrest; Jazmine's parents still paid for her insurance. It wouldn't be a good look if she went to a doctor in Chicago and then the bill came to Maryland. That would be an interesting phone call.

Jazmine looked so pitiful that he felt himself frown as well. It seemed as if soon as the realization that she was pregnant came, so had the side effects. Morning sickness had hit her with a vengeance and practically lasted all day. She couldn't keep anything down and he practically had to force her to keep eating. Which, you know, didn't make her get mad at him _too_ much or anything. Not. To add to it she was always tired, always dizzy, and was feeling so emotional she actually _avoided _talking just so she wouldn't yell at him! Which, as nice of a gesture as it was, it was also a big red flag that something was wrong.

"It'll be fine." There was that damn optimism again! Who the heck was he and what had he done with Huey Freeman?! "Well, actually, Tom's going to freak the hell out. He might even try to kill me."

Ah. There he was.

"Thank you." Jazmine's voice was flat.

"But then, they'll get over it." He took her hand and squeezed it. "They're your parents and you're their only child. It's ony natural for them to have a not-so-positive reaction."

"I know."

"So...let's just get it over with. Especially before-"

"Y'all niggas still standin' out hurr lookin stupid as hell?" Eighteen year old Riley Freeman shoved in between them, elbowing both Huey and Jazmine in their sides. Jazmine winced. Huey closed his eyes, grit his teeth, and smacked him in the back of the head. "Ow! Damn, Ali! What's yo problem?"

"What the hell!" Grandad pushed in between them as well, holding a large, steaming pot. "It's cold as hell outside and y'all lallygagging on the damn doorstep like it's pop-sickle weather or something! Trying to freeze yo poor granddaddy to death and you ain't even been back for an hour! What is _wrong _with you two?"

Huey rolled his eyes as Riley snickered. "Sorry, grandad."

It was great to see nothing had changed.

It was a good thing Riley was so good at art, since it was what had gotten him into the School of the Art Institute of Chicago. Even though they went to school in the same city, Riley stayed with some of his other friends, only coming over to raid the refrigerator, use the Internet or just flat out harass them. They'd had the same flight back to Maryland, Huey sitting in the middle, Riley squashed by the window, and Jazmine taking the aisle seat so that she could jump up and run to the bathroom whenever needed (which happened only, oh three times). When Riley had asked what was eating her, Huey said motion sickness.

Well, it wasn't _completely _a lie.

Huey watched Jazmine sigh, taking out her key and unlocking the front door, slowly opening it. "Um...hi," She called out, opening the door wider and moving aside so that the Freemans could come in behind her. She closed the door back, looking like she was going to be sick. In the figurative as well as the literal sense. Huey raised an eyebrow as a sudden thundering noise seemed to rock the staircase.

"My baby girl's home!" Tom DuBois, Jazmine's father, yelled, rushing forward and sweeping her in a bear hug. Jazmine winced, awkwardly patting his shoulder with one hand. "Look at you! Looking all grown up."

"I'm _twenty_, daddy," She managed, letting out a sigh of relief as Tom released her. He took it to be a sigh of contentment and grinned, hugging her again.

"I know." He closed his eyes, sighing. "I've missed you, too."

"It's only been three months!"

"Three months?" Her mother, Sarah DuBois, appeared in the doorway that led to the kitchen, wiping her hands with a dishcloth. "Please. He started crying when the plane took off, whining about how he wanted you to come home."

"Honey." Tom waved his hand, chuckling nervously. "Please, don't make such exaggerations?"

Sarah blew a strand of blond hair out of her eyes. "Who's exaggerating?"

"Hi, hello, y'all ain't gon talk my head off!" Grandad let out, grumbling and stalking past them into the kitchen. "Shoot. Got me holdin' a pot of gumbo just like my cousin used to make down in Louisiana, bout to burn my hands off...I'm hungry! I want to eat!"

"Yeah!" Riley walked past them as well, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sagging jeans. "Got niggas stomach acid eatin' up dey insides and shit."

"Riley!" Grandad yelled. "Can you say one sentence without cussin?"

Riley froze, grinning.

"Why, yes I can." He said, perfectly articulating his words and putting on a mock cheery face before slouching again, rolling his eyes. "Nigga."

The two of them disappeared into the kitchen, leaving Jazmine, Huey, her father, and her mother. She clasped her hands together, sighing.

"Sooo-"

"Huey!" Tom held up his fist, gesturing for Huey to give him dap. He slowly did so, making a face. "So, how's school treating you?"

He looked towards Jazmine before glancing back at Tom, shrugging. "School-like."

"Ah." Tom sighed wistfully as Huey sat down on the couch. He stroked his chin, thoughtful. "I remember my Pre-law days. Some of the happiest days of my life. Good friends, good food, good studies, smokin' girls-"

Jazmine smacked her palm over her face. Huey shrugged, his hands on his knees. Sarah rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, when you weren't calling your mom twice a day, begging her to let you come home."

"I did not!" Tom practically whined, shaking his head. He turned back to Huey. "Anyways, if you need any help with school, deciding on a school...just come to the pro here!" He jabbed a thumb in his chest. "I believe I can, as you young folk say, give you the hookup."

Huey blinked, nodding slowly. "Sure. Yeah. Thanks."

"So, do you think you'll go into prosecuting?"

Huey's face fell flat. "No."

It was bad enough he even said _that_, being that Tom was a prosecutor. Even worse, he had to go on.

"As a descendant of a long line of proud, strong, persevering African Americans who were wrongfully tried, accused, and sentenced to various crimes of different degrees of offensiveness, I do not believe that the United States has grown up enough to know the meaning behind the words "A fair trial"," He said casually, ignoring Jazmine's glare and Sarah's warning head shake. Tom stared at him. "Too many people go into law with the vain assumption that they can get the highest paying jobs by sending people to jail, which not only turns them into corrupt pawns of the government, but also leaves them ignorant to the plight of the common man. As an advocate of the improvement and progress of black culture, it would serve me as well as others better to defend those who have been rebuked or forgotten by the law so that they can also have a chance of getting a fair trial. Or, if I really get into it, be a judge," He finished plainly, leaning back. He blinked at everyone's silence. "What?"

"That's...very...honorable of you." Tom seemed to be gritting his teeth so hard that it was a surprise they didn't break. He clapped his hands, turning to Sarah. Both of them headed towards the kitchen. Jazmine shook her head. "Well! Who's ready for some dinner?"

Behind Tom, Jazmine's face turned green. Huey's eyes widened and he waved his hands, shaking his head. Jazmine glared back, making a bunch of hand signals that anyone outside their relationship would never comprehend.

It was something, when you'd been together so long you developed your own language.

"Hey, where'd she go?" Sarah asked as she poked her head back into the living room after a door upstairs slammed. Huey shrugged.

"I think she's...unpacking?"

Never mind that her suitcase was still by the door. Sarah shrugged, going back into the kitchen. Huey rolled his eyes, getting up and going into the kitchen, grabbing a bowl of some kind of dish he wasn't paying too much attention to and carrying it to the dining room. By the time everyone was sitting around the table, piling food on their plates, Jazmine came back, sitting in an empty chair between Huey and her mother, looking a little better...but not much.

"Honey? Are you okay?" Sarah glanced worriedly at her daughter, putting a hand on her forehead. "You aren't coming down with something, are you?"

Jazmine's mouth opened, but nothing came out. She wasn't good at lying. Especially to her mom.

"Actually," She said, visibly wincing. Huey's eyes widened. No. _No. _You _did not _discuss being pregnant at a family dinner! That was a good way to get everyone mad! Shit! "I've got something to tell you." She noticed Huey's look too late and turned back to her mom, biting her lip. "But it can wait until after we've finished eating-"

"Oh, no!" Tom, who was sitting directly across from Jazmine, put down his fork cheerfully. "What's going on?" He grinned. "Did you make the Dean's list again?"

Jazmine shook her head, looking down at her empty plate. "Well, yeah. But that's not what this is about, no."

"Can somebody pass the salt?" Grandad asked loudly, straightening his glasses. "Y'all know damn well my arms ain't that long! Boy!" He smacked Riley upside the head. "I understand you're in Art School and think you got some talent, but you don't build sculptures with yo food! Food's made for eating! Like yo greedy ass don't already know that-"

"Always gotta crush a man's spirit!" Riley snapped back, shoving a mouthful of meatloaf in his mouth in response. Tom shook his head, his attention returning to his daughter.

"Your thesis for your biochemistry class got picked?"

Jazmine's eyes filled with tears. Huey inwardly groaned. Oh, no.

Sarah dropped her fork as well, her blue eyes widening. "Honey, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong is I still don't have the salt!" Grandad cut in, rolling his eyes. Huey picked up the salt, holding it out towards his grandad. Jazmine seemed to pick that exact moment to blurt out the news as if she were afraid she'd lose the nerve.

"I'm pregnant."

Everyone froze. Huey flinched the way he did whenever he heard _that_ _word, _still holding the salt towards grandad, whose mouth was hanging open. his fork had dropped out of his hand, but he didn't even notice. Riley was also frozen beside him, only for a totally different reason. He started laughing.

"Aw shit!" He cackled, elbowing grandad in the arm. "And you always said I'd be tha one to procreate before I even had a chance to do sumthin wit mah life! Won't chu wrong?"

Huey sighed, closing his eyes. "Salt," He said, dropping the sat dispenser in front of his grandad's plate. Beside him, Jazmine was crying freely, staring down at her lap. Her mom was speechless. Her dad looked ready to burst.

Which was exactly what happened.

The next thing anyone knew the table was flipping over and Huey was grabbing Jazmine and jumping away to keep her from being crushed. Everyone else screamed, yelled, and started talking at once.

"Tom!" Sarah yelled.

"Tom, what the _hell _is wrong with you?" Grandad barked. Riley rolled on the floor, laughing so hard that he was crying. Tom was breathing heavily, raising a finger and pointing it towards the eldest Freeman brother, who was raising an eyebrow.

He hadn't seen Tom look this demented since he was possessed by Stinkmeanor.

"You!" He yelled over the rest of the noise, jumping over the table and the spilled food. "I will _kill _you!"

"Daddy!" Jazmine snapped, darting in front of Huey before Tom could attempt to do any kind of bodily harm to him. "Cut it out!"

"Get out of the way!" Tom shot back, throwing up his hands. "Why, God, why?" He lifted his head to the ceiling, his hands forming fists. "You let this boy come and corrupt my daughter!"

"Oh, for the love of-" Huey started, but was interrupted by Tom poking a finger in his chest. Jazmine had backed beside him, her arms around his arm.

"You and my daughter...you..." Tom looked ready to burst a vein in his forehead. "You two had _sex_!"

Huey's jaw dropped. Was he _kidding_. "Um, duh!" He yelled, his attitude coming to the forefront. He took Tom's finger and shoved it away, not backing down. "Yeah, I did. And I don't appreciate you threatening me or talking to me like you're my father. You ain't gonna do anything."

"He does have a point, Tom." Grandad, probably the calmest one other than Sarah, who was standing by the table, her hand over her heart with silent tears running down her face. "Calm yo ass down. Shit, Huey could break yo skinny neck with his pinky."

"You..._stay _out of this, Robert!" Tom practically cried, leaning towards the young couple. "Why? _How_?"

"You_ really _want to know?" Huey rolled his eyes. Tom's nose was inches from his own.

"YES!" He shouted. Huey glared at him, non blinking.

"Fine." His fists clenched. He wasn't one to sugarcoat. His words were plain and sharp. "The condom broke."

Tom's eye twitched. Jazmine groaned, giving Huey a look. Way for him to be a smartass at the wrong time.

"Dad." She knocked his hands, which were slowly reaching for Huey's throat, away and stepped in front of him again, crossing her arms over her chest. "This isn't his fault alone. This is _both _of our fault."

"I know, but..." Tom's face crumpled. "Y-you're in school! And y-you're barely twenty. I'm just so..." He covered his eyes with his hands. "My baby girl's having a baby! I'm so disappointed!"

"I know!" Jazmine cried, balling her fists together. "I'm so sorry, daddy!"

"Boo! Aye!" Riley had sat up and was sucking his teeth. "Get back to fightin'." Grandad smacked him in the head. "Ow!"

"Jazmine." Sarah stepped beside her father, pushing him out the way and looking into her daughter's tear filled eyes. "While this isn't the...wisest of things that you've done-" She cut off, glaring at Tom, who was still giving Huey an evil look. "We're still your parents. We still love you. And there's nothing we can do now, except discuss your options. We'll always be here for you."

Jazmine nodded quietly. Huey sighed.

"As for you, _boy_," Grandad suddenly put in, shaking his head at his eldest grandson. "I can't believe yo over-educated, facts and statistics spouting, politically and socially aware ass even-"

"Granddad, I know," Huey sighed again, looking away. Riley snorted and Grandad grabbed him by the collar, dragging him behind him as he walked.

"We goin home." He gave Huey a firm look as he passed, still dragging Riley. "Ima let the DuBois' get theirs in. If you ain't dead when they done, you bring yo ass home so I can deal with you." He looked at Jazmine, his face softening. "You come along too, cutie pie."

Somehow, Huey would much rather deal with grandad.

"Fine." He rolled his eyes at his brother, who was making faces at him from his place on the floor, still cackling. Jazmine nodded.

"Okay."

When they disappeared out the front door ("Boy! Get yo ass up! You know how to walk!"), Tom opened his mouth to speak but Sarah shook her head. "Let's go sit down," She said quietly, leading the way out of the dining room. Jazmine slowly followed her, crossing her arms protectively over her chest. Tom and Huey both paused in the doorway, giving each other heated look overs before finally Tom relented, walking out the doorway first. Huey walked in last, sitting down on the couch in the living room beside Jazmine, who looked ready to cry all over again. Tom and Sarah stopped in front of them, the coffee table separating the two couples from each other. Sarah glanced toward her husband.

"Do you have anything to say?" She asked. Tom glanced at her, then at Huey.

"AH!" He yelled, jumping over the coffee table and launching himself at Huey, who had gotten a feeling this would be a likely possibility and rose up to meet him, grabbing the older man's wrists and pushing him away. Tom pushed back. Jazmine groaned, covering her eyes with her hands and Sarah grabbed Tom's waist, tugging him back.

"Tom!" She smacked him in the back of the head and he yelped, flinching. "Stop that!"

"No." He glared towards Huey, who glared back, his arms folded over his chest. "I'm just supposed to be okay with this?" He asked, pointing towards him. "I'm supposed to be _happy_?"

"No, but you're not supposed to be homicidal!" Sarah retorted heatedly. Jazmine dropped her hands from her face.

"I-" She started, but Tom cut her off.

"I think you've said enough for now," He shot at her.

"Don't you talk to her that way!" Huey snapped, taking her hand; tears had sprung to her eyes again. Tom's eyes focused on him again.

"Oh, so now that you've knocked up my daughter you think you can just take over responsibility for her?"

"No one's trying to take responsibility for anything!" Sarah shouted, jumping to Huey's aid. "Stop being so irrational!"

Everyone fell silent. Huey groaned quietly, running his face over his hands.

"Look." He stared at Tom, his eyes narrowed and his words slow, as if he wanted them to fully grasp them. "Neither one of this planned for this to happen. We didn't _want _this to happen. But like Mrs. DuBois said, it's already done. We're trying to be responsible-"

"_How_?" Tom interrupted. "You're full time college students!"

"Um, excuse me, was I done talking?" Huey grunted slightly when Jazmine elbowed him in the chest. Tom ignored him.

"You can't both go to college full time and work a full time job to support a baby!" Tom snapped, throwing up his hands with feeling. "It's exhausting! Raising children is a full time job all in itself!"

"We're not ever sure-" Jazmine started before cringing at how everyone's attention was suddenly on her. "We're not even sure that we're going to keep it."

"Oh, that's great!" Tom made a face. "Yeah, just give your problems away! Or abort them! That solves it!" Jazmine's face crumpled.

"Can you _stop that_?" Huey shook his head. "Do you think upsetting her is going to help the situation?" He straightened. "You're right. We _don't _know what we're going to do yet. We're still trying to get it to sink in!" He looked at Tom as if daring him to interrupt again. Fortunately, he didn't. "Jazmine was the one who was hell bent on telling you, because you're her father and she loves you and respects your advice! No matter how stupid it is..." He muttered under his breath.

"Huey." Jazmine gave him a warning look. He sucked his teeth.

"Whatever." He turned towards the DuBois' again. "She wanted your support. Not for you to accept it, but for her to help with whatever decision she..._we_ make. You don't have to like me." He snorted. "I really don't give a damn how you feel about _me_." He pointed to Jazmine. "But she's _your _daughter. And...well, that's your grandchild. And like it or not..." He looked slightly uncomfortable. "It's my child as well. So you're not going to talk to her any kind of way. Not when I'm around. And I'd recommend not talking to her any kind of way when I'm _not _around as well. Like I said." His eyes were dangerous. "I am not afraid of you not liking me."

Jazmine looked ready to cry all over again. Sarah already was. Tom's eyes softened...slightly.

"She's still the same Jazmine you raised to be a good, obedient, thriving member of society." Huey shrugged. "She just made a mistake. We made a mistake. We made a honest, unintentional, _human _mistake." He glared at him again. "We're young. We're human. And we learn from our mistakes, one way or another."

Tom swallowed, pursing his lips. Sarah quietly cleared her throat.

"You're a good person too, Huey," She said softly, causing everyone to look at her. She looked towards Jazmine. "You both are. You're both smart, capable of doing anything you put your minds to-"

"_Obviously_."

"Tom, shut up. And you're both fully capable of making your own decisions." Sarah cut her eyes at Tom, daring him to disagree. He flinched. She looked back at them. "And I believe that you _will _find a solution. Just do what's right for the _both _of you." She looked at Huey, her eyes gentle.

"I want you to take care of my daughter." She clasped her hands in front of her. "Not that I have to tell you that. You seem to do a good job of it already."

Tom made a face. "Well, he _did _until-"

"Do I have to put you in the corner?" Sarah demanded. He gulped, shaking his head. "Good." She looked back at Huey.

"You're mature beyond your years. More mature than the majority of people our age. Especially more mature than Tom."

"Hey!"

"So I know you'll be responsible. Just like you will be, Jazmine." Jazmine looked up. Right?"

Jazmine nodded. Sarah offered them both a soft, patient smile.

"Good." She looked at Tom. "Now, if you've gotten a hold over yourself, would you like to add anything? That _doesn't _involve physical contact?"

Tom took a tiny step forward, his eyes lowered to the floor. He sighed, looking up.

"You had _sex_."

Jazmine let out a long, exasperated sigh. Huey rolled his eyes.

"I mean, obviously you did, since there's no other way you could be-"

"We've established that, Tom. Can you get on with it?" Sarah asked. Tom lifted his chin.

"_Fine_." He sighed. "Alright. Jazmine-" She looked up. "You will always be my daughter. I will always love you. I guess...my expectations of you have always been so high that when you told me you were...well..."

"It's okay." Jazmine offered him a smile.

"It's not." Tom sighed again. "You came to us, were honest with us, and I completely overreacted. Well, _maybe _I overreacted."

"You did," Sarah said patiently. "Now, go on."

"I guess it just made me realize that...well...you're a woman now." He looked heartbroken. "And you're going to do womanly things. Like...have-"

"_Alright _already!" Sarah and Huey let out in unison. Tom shook his head.

"I never wanted you to have to grow up too fast. Even if this one-" He cut his eyes towards Huey. "Had other plans."

Huey sucked his teeth. Tom turned towards Jazmine.

"But it will be okay. You'll figure it out. We'll help you." He smiled. "I love you, baby."

Jazmine beamed. "I love you too, daddy."

He smiled a few more seconds at her, then it quickly faded as he glanced towards Huey. "_You, _on the other hand-"

Huey looked bored. His arms were still crossed over his chest. Tom deflated a bit.

"You're smart, Huey. You probably already know this, but I'm going to say it regardless." His eyes narrowed. "Either one of you, or both of you, would have low odds of finishing college, let alone grad school. The percentage of parents who even stay together at your age is around twenty percent. _Twenty. Percent. _So your verbal commitment is nice and all, but will it even last?" He folded his hands across his chest. "If you two _do _decide to have this baby, then the odds of you both being together, of graduating and achieving what your dreams are, are rare."

"They are," Huey agreed, nodding. "It's not easy." His own eyes narrowed. "But it's possible."

Tom nodded, uncrossing his arms. He walked around the table towards Huey and Sarah and Jazmine seemed to hold their breath. To their surprise, Tom held out his hand. Huey looked at it, then up to his face, which had smoothed over.

"You'd better do right by her," He said, frowning for a moment. "I mean it. I'll-" He stopped, sighing. "Alright, I won't _physically _do anything, no matter how much I may want to pick you up by your throat and sling you out the window-"

"Tom!"

"Graphic much, dad?"

"-but you've proven time and time again to be mature, responsible, and wise beyond your years." He glanced down at Huey again, who was still glaring from Tom's last words. "I hope you'll put that wisdom to good use now."

Huey nodded, shaking his hand. They let go, both of them looking at Jazmine. Tom smiled, stepping past Huey to reach down and hug her. Luckily, it wasn't as hard as before. She closed her eyes and hugged him back, resting her head against his shoulder. "I love you," She said softly, letting him go. He held on to her shoulders, sighing.

"I love you, too." He straightened. Sarah crossed her arms, giving him a look.

"You'd better love cleaning up that mess you made!" She said, pointing towards the dining room. "I don't know who you think's going to get it up, but it won't be me."

"Right." Tom's face heated up and he massaged his neck with one hand. "Um, Huey." His tone was awkward. "I hope there's no hard feelings about me...well..."

"Trying to choke me to death?" Huey shook his head, leaning back. His voice was laced with sarcasm. "Of course not. Why would I possibly feel bitter about that?"

Jazmine glared at him. He glared back.

"It's just-" Tom wrung his hands. "I was watching this movie on lifetime before, where this teenager got pregnant and her boyfriend promised to marry her. Then, get this!" He threw up his hands. "She wakes up the next morning and he's gone. No car, no note, no clothes-"

"Not you, too!" Huey groaned. What was with Jazmine and her dad comparing real life to television? Tom shrugged.

"It happens. Everyday." He looked between Jazmine and Huey. "I understand you've been together a long time now, but a baby...a baby changes everything."

Jazmine clasped her hands together.

"They haven't made a decision yet," Sarah pointed out, resting her hand on her husband's shoulder. "They might not keep it-"

"Which, is all well and good, but would you at least consider adoption?" Tom asked, his voice holding a plea. "I don't think abortion's exactly the best method out there." He scratched his chin. "If it were up to me, no one would ever get abortions."

Huey raised an eyebrow. "Wow. You sound a lot like those pro-life maniacs that are always talking everyone else to death in congress." He ignored Jazmine's look. "You do realize that while your intentions are quite admirable, you have a one hundred percent chance of never getting pregnant and having to make that call for yourself, right?"

"_Huey-"_

"What? I'm just saying!" Huey crossed his arms. "I ain't the one that supports taking away a woman's rights to her own body," He groused under his breath. Jazmine rolled her eyes. Tom opened his mouth, thought about it, then closed it again. Before he could dwell on it any more Sarah grabbed his collar, dragging him towards the dining room.

"We'll schedule you a doctor's appointment, honey," Sarah said over her shoulder, smiling at the two of them before she and Tom disappeared into the dining room. There was a slapping sound, followed by Tom's yelp and hushed arguing. Huey and Jazmine exchanged looks.

"You just _had _to tell them while we were eating." Huey's voice was flat. Jazmine offered him a sheepish smile.

"It...could've been worse?"

Huey gave her a look.

"Oh, yeah." He was sarcastic. "A lot worse."

Too bad this was far from being over.

* * *

:Hopes no one noticed her accidentally throwing her own pro-choice views in there:

Um...so yeahhh...next chapter? Soon? Yay?

You read? You review? Please? Yay?

-Kelsey


	5. The Freemans

Double update day?!!? Courtesy of my bedridden sickness and my non-existant voice. Everyone keeps trying to make me talk so that they can hear me squeak. Jerks.

Thank you to AyisienneCat17 and MzMinni3 for the reviews! Yay! THEY RULE!!!

:passes out from Ny Quil:

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks. Duh.

* * *

The Freemans

Robert Jebediah Freeman was surprised…only he decided to handle the situation quite differently than the DuBois had.

"Alright." He eyed his eldest grandchild and his pregnant girlfriend as they sat on each side of Riley on the couch in the living room. Riley was playing Xbox, biting his tongue in concentration as he stared at the TV screen. Grandad glared towards the younger Freeman.

"Riley." Riley ignored him. "Riley!"

Still, Riley continued pressing buttons, waving his grandfather's words away with the brush of a hand.

"Wait a minute!" He leaned to the side slightly, grinning evilly. "Yeaaaaah- Hey!"

Grandad stomped in front of the screen, snatching the controller from Riley and ripping the cord out the game system, proceeding to beat Riley upside the head with it. "Ow OW!" Riley darted out the way, glaring. "Damn! You tryin to kill me?"

"Ain't my fault you decided not to respect yo granddaddy!" Grandad snapped, dropping the controller on the floor. "Shoot! You betta not play with me right now, boy! While you on my good side!" He trained an eye towards Huey. "Unlike this one…"

Huey sighed, slouching in his spot. Beside him Jazmine had her socked feet tucked underneath her and was sitting up straight, her hands in her lap and her big green eyes staring at Grandad with a mixture of curiosity, fear, and nervousness.

"Mr. Freeman?" She said timidly, causing his attention to flicker to her. She winced, figuring she might as well get it over with. "I'm sorry."

"Now now, cutie pie." Grandad smiled down at her. It always amazed Huey how no matter the situation Jazmine brought the best out of people, especially since Grandad_ never _smiled for his grandsons. He walked over to his armchair, easing back into it and sighing. "Whew! There we go." He looked at her again. Riley, still grumbling, plopped down on the floor in front of the coffee table, glancing at the now black television screen before smirking towards Huey.

"Ooh!" He grinned. "You gon get it now-"

"Hush up, boy!" Grandad shook his head, his smile quickly turning upside down. Sure enough, by the time he looked towards Huey, he was scowling again. Nice.

"Now." Grandad leaned forward, looking over the lenses of his glasses. "Boy. What the _hell _were you thinking?"

Huey sighed again, opening his mouth. "We didn't mean for it to happen. It just-"

"Not _that_!" Grandad rolled his eyes, waving his hand at him. "I meant what were you thinking, telling Tom's crazy ass before me?"

Huey's eyebrows rose. He and Jazmine exchanged surprised glances before looking back at Grandad.

"Um…" Caught off guard, Huey shrugged. "It was Jazmine's idea." She glowered at him. Grandad snorted. "So…you're not mad?"

"Hell _yes _I'm mad! Shoot." He shook his head. "This was something I'd expect out of your brother, not _you_. You were always the one reading a damn book or doing something constructive while his ass about killed me all the damn time! Had me chasin behind him all times of the day making sure he don't get in no trouble with the damn popo…Then it turns out _you're _the one giving me a great-grandchild? Then again-" He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "It's probably a lot safer for you to reproduce than your brother-"

"Hey!" Riley sat up, glaring and pointing his thumb at his chest. "Iight, I'd make sum bangin' chil'ren! Dey'd be gangsta as hell and representing out there for all dey street soldiers, just like dey daddy Reezy!"

Grandad shook his head, ignoring him. He looked towards Huey and Jazmine.

"I was only twenty when your daddy was born," He said, making Huey's eyes widen. Grandad _never _talked about his parents. "Your grandma, she was eighteen. Mmhmm. Back then it won't so uncommon, won't even frowned upon, for people to have children young. Not like it is today. But if you was a man, shoot. Yo ass better have given her a ring."

"Um-" Jazmine's face flushed and Huey shifted uncomfortably. Grandad sucked his teeth.

"I won't talkin bout y'all heathen asses, I was just saying how it used to be! Back in the day, people had _class_. Well, when the white man won't trying to hold us down and chase us out of the south. Mmm _Mmm_." Grandad shook his head, closing his eyes. "They were some crazy fools, those angry white men."

"Grandad." Huey's voice was slightly strained. "What does that have to do with any of this?"

"Hush, boy! I'm trying to make a point!" Grandad shook his head, glancing towards Jazmine.

"She was a wonderful woman, Huey and Riley's grandmother." He sat back, reminiscing. Even Riley looked to be into the story. "Yessir. Had inner and outer beauty, confidence, and carried herself like a lady. And when she found out she was pregnant she didn't cower away from responsibility. She was the strongest woman I know, god bless her soul." He straightened again, focusing on Huey.

"Now." He straightened his glasses. "Life has a funny way of going differently than we planned. It's not our job to resist change. We're supposed to go with it and rise up to meet challenges." He gestured to the TV. "I know all these music videos with those…whatchu call them…video hos? Yeah, I know they make it all glamorous, the women and the sex and only being concerned about yourself and having fun…but there's times when you realize you have to be a man. You have to be strong. And you have to keep pushing, even when the going gets tough."

"Damn, Grandad!" Riley cut in. "When you go lay his ass out?"

"Boy, hush! I'll lay _your _ass out!" Grandad shook his head, returning his attention to Huey and Jazmine.

"I ain't raise you to be no punk ass bitch," He said, zeroing in on Huey. "I raised you to be a man. And that's exactly what you're going to be, if you know what's good for you. Now I don't mean go off and marry her-" He pointed to Jazmine. "-And I don't mean be a blockhead and pay some measly child support every month and think you doing something." He looked between the both of them. "It ain't about either one of you anymore. It's about your child. And you'd better remember that."

Jazmine wrung her hands in her lap. Huey glanced at her.

"You both are young, and you ain't seen nearly as much of the world as you will," He went on sternly. "There's a good chance that you two won't stay together in the long run. But you-" He pointed at Huey. "Don't let your feelings for her-" His finger moved to Jazmine. "Determine how you feel about _your _child." He glanced at Jazmine. "That applies to you, too."

Grandad, for once, wasn't yelling. He didn't even seem mad or impatient like he usually was when dealing with his grandchildren. Which, was a bit of a surprise. Riley sucked his teeth, standing up.

"Man, Grandad! You wack for dis one!" He rolled his eyes, stomping into the kitchen. "I crash your car and get a beatdown, Huey gets a girl pregnant and gets a talking to? Dat ain't fair!"

"Life ain't fair, boy, and if you know what's good for you you'll shut the hell up!" Grandad rolled his eyes as Riley went through the refrigerator before looking towards Huey again. He started to say something, but the phone rang.

"Wait a minute, now," He said, reaching over to the table beside his chair and, upon realizing the phone was in the kitchen, glared towards Riley. "Boy, get the damn phone! Don't just stand there!"

Huey felt himself relax. Wow. That hadn't gone as badly as he thought it would. In fact, it hadn't gone badly at all!

Well, at least not yet…

"Hello?" Riley held the phone up to his ear, his free hand pressed on the counter. He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Aye, Grandad!" He held the phone away from his ear. "Cousin Jericho wants to know when the baby's due!"

"What?" Huey yelled as Jazmine suddenly started choking, her eyes wide with surprise. They both stared at Grandad, who was looking oddly absorbed in figuring out the buttons on the remote. "Grandad!"

"What?" Grandad made a face. "Don't get that tone of voice with me! I can't help it that, despite the circumstances, I got a bit excited about getting my first great-grandchild!"

"But _Grandad_," Huey groaned from between clenched teeth. "We don't even know if we're-"

"Boy, shut up." Grandad turned his head towards Riley. "I ain't even tell that many people!"

""That many people"?" Jazmine echoed faintly.

"How many people is "not that many people"?" Huey demanded. Grandad looked up to the ceiling thoughtfully.

"Well, let's see." He began counting off names on his fingers. "I told yo Aunt Cookie first, then Jericho called so I told him, after that my cousin Louis from Mississippi happened to call and I told him…I think he may have mentioned it to his wife and they kids. Then-"

"Can black people _never _keep things to themselves?" Huey shouted, throwing up his hands. "Grandad!"

"What?" Grandad rolled his eyes. "Boy, quit whining! That ain't even that many people."

"Oh, hold on- Grandad!" Riley shouted again. "That Cairo guy that headbutt Huey ten years ago called to ask if it was true that he's having a baby!"

"Cairo?" Huey's jaw dropped. "_Really_?!" He groaned. "Grandad!"

"Well…" Grandad's tone faltered. "I didn't tell him!"

"Aye yo!" Huey was really tired of hearing Riley talk, especially since all he did was bring more and more news that he just didn't want to hear. "Dis one guy's on tha phone…he say he flew wit chu in World War II and heard yo grandson was havin a baby! An Jericho hung up but he say tha family gonna come see-"

"Thanks boy, I get it!" Grandad waved his hands towards Riley, glaring at him. Jazmine's jaw dropped.

"Um, excuse me." She tucked a strand of her long curly hair behind her ear, looking nervous. "But…well-"

"You know what?" Riley came over, handing the phone to Grandad. "We could get us sum free merchandise off dis." He rubbed his hands together, not noticing Huey's incredulous look or the horrified expression that fell over Jazmine's face. Grandad looked skeptical…but not skeptical enough. "Forreal, look!" He pointed to Jazmine. "We could say that Jazmine's a poor, helpless girl from da streets dat Huey fed an couldn't get rid of, den found out she was havin a baby so we takin care of her! Den, the whole family could come for a baby shower, an bring lots of gifts!"

"Riley!" Huey yelled sharply, glaring at his younger brother. "We are not exploiting my girlfriend for personal gain!"

"It ain't like dat! Grandad, think about it." Riley held up his hands, palms up. "Free stuff? When has receiving gifts been a crime before?"

"Grandad, that's the same way he acted when he convinced you to act blind and half our house got demolished!" Huey pointed out. Grandad held his index finger to his chin, his eyes narrowed in thought.

"Well." He shrugged. "We haven't had a family reunion in a while. And if we _happened _to have a family gathering that _happened _to also be for the arrival of our first great-grandchild-"

"We don't even know if we're keeping it!" Huey yelled. "Seriously?!"

Jazmine was staring between the three of them, an odd look falling over her face. The other three were too busy arguing to notice.

"Boy, calm down." Grandad waved his hand. "Y'all say that but that baby ain't going nowhere. Shoot, you actin' all like yo broke ass couldn't use the free stuff. Ain't like you wouldn't get anything-"

"Yeah!" Riley poked out his lower lip. "Always tryna ruin a masta plan."

"There _is _no master plan!" Huey snapped, irritated. "It's just you trying to get over on people!"

"Guys-" Jazmine muttered, clutching her chest.

"See, Grandad?" Riley poked Grandad's shoulder. "Even college hasn't stopped Huey form hatin on me!"

"That is pretty messed up, Huey." Grandad shook his head. "Hatin like that-"

"Guys-"

"What would even possess you to tell so many people? You think we want everyone to know before we even know what we're going to do about it? Why don't you just get a blimp-"

"Guys-"

"-And broadcast it over downtown Woodcrest-"

"I can't _breathe_-"

"So that everybody can know? Damn!" Huey threw up his hands. "Black people _never _keep things to themselves- _what_?" He finally snapped as he felt Jazmine's hands claw at his arm. "Can't you- _damn it_!"

"What?" Grandad asked as Huey leapt of the sofa, running out the room. He and Riley made faces as his feet thumped loudly on the stairs and on the second floor before the sound of a door flung open. They both looked at Jazmine, who was making some sound that was a cross between a dying cat and a coughing hobo.

"Girl!" Grandad rose out his chair, grabbing her shoulders. "What's wrong?"

"I've seen when people do dis!" Riley thought for a moment, then snapped his fingers. "She's havin one of dem seizures!"

"I don't think so." Grandad examined her as she gasped again, closing her eyes. "I think it's a…a stroke? Girl?" He shook her, not helping matters in the slightest. "You havin' a stroke?"

"Move!" Huey ordered, racing back into the room and practically knocking the other Freeman members out of the way. He crouched in front of Jazmine, knocking her hands out of the way and shaking an inhaler, shoving it in her hands. "Here." As she hurriedly put it up to her mouth, pressing down on the top and slowly breathing in, he cut his eyes towards his relatives.

"A _stroke_? Really?" He rolled his eyes. "She has asthma, Grandad!"

"Well, how the hell was I supposed to know?" Grandad shot back; Jazmine dropped her hand and sat up slightly, the color slowly returning to her face. "All I know is we trying to help y'all out, you being an ungrateful hater, then she passing all out on my couch!"

"She was having an asthma attack brought on by you and Riley's insanity!" Huey shook his head, rising to his feet and crossing his arms over his chest. The room fell silent, except for Jazmine's heavy breathing. Riley finally broke the silence.

"So…we gon have dis family reunion thang, or what?"

* * *

They just ain't gonna rest until they kill her :P

Sooo tell me what you think before I bully you.

...Not.

-Kelsey


	6. Friends and Enemies

Sooo...my throat's decided to close up on me. I can't breathe properly. I'm pretty sure I'm going to die soon (alright, not really. But seriously, this sucks). Anywho, thanks to TRIGGER MIKE THE GREAT for the reviews! BIG THANKS AS WELL for a few of his...er..._lost_, original characters he let me borrow. :D

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks. Neither does TRIGGER MIKE THE GREAT. But he does own three of the characters...owning more in my story than me. That is MESSED. UP.

(Kidding :P)

* * *

Friends and Enemies

For some odd reason, everyone decided that they were wise enough to give Huey and Jazmine advice on their current situation, as most people do when they're butting into others business.

Of course, as usual, said people only suceeded in reminding Huey why he'd never wanted to reproduce in the first place. It would be more of a punishment to the baby if it came into a world chock full of such _morons_.

"Alright, girl." Cindy McPhearson, Jazmine's loud mouthed, overbearing, aggressively best friend was sitting on the end of _his _bed, which she'd promptly kicked him off of when she burst into his room that morning armed with a bag full of..._girly things_. Seriously, _his _bed. What was homegirl thinking? Jazmine, who had arrived at the Freeman's house early that morning due to not wanting to be home alone while her parents were at work, was lying on his bed as well, reading a magazine and trying not to throw up. Which, judging by the light tinge of green that was present on her face, was a losing battle. "Lemme find out my own best friend couldn't even tell me she was pregnant."

Jazmine looked up, sighing and rolling her eyes. "Because it's really something I'd go around bragging about," She retorted with mild sarcasm. She sat up a bit as Cindy went into the large, rainbow colored beach bag. "What's all that?"

"Well, I figured your ass was probably freaking out when you weren't having damn asthma attacks," Cindy explained, smirking at the guilty expression that fell over her face. "So I brought the usual...magazines, nail polish, make up...and _this_-" She whipped an item out the bag with a flourish, grinning.

"You didn't!" Jazmine's face lit up so quickly that Huey had to look away from his computer to see what exactly was so exciting. Then again, Jazmine was the one who once got ecstatic over finding a lump of dust shaped like a rabbit when they'd cleaned their apartment, so it probably wasn't anything that important. Sure enough...

"Ice cream!" Jazmine snatched the pint of Ben and Jerry's from Cindy's hands, hugging it to her chest. "Aw, Cin! You're the best!"

"Aren't you the one who can't keep anything down?" Huey asked, resting his elbow on the back of his chair. Jazmine stuck out her tongue at him. Cindy rolled her eyes.

"Boy, boo!" She flipped her glossy blond hair behind her shoulders. "Go back to doing your nerd things on your nerd computer."

"Um, excuse me?" Huey cupped a hand over his ear, faking an expression of confusion. "Was that you asking me to kick you the hell out?"

"Weakest. Comeback. _Ever_."

Huey groaned. "Why are you _here_?"

"Stop, you two," Jazmine said before it could get any further, rolling her eyes. Huey and Cindy had been at each others throats since she _moved _there. "I don't feel like hearing you fight. You are _not _going to stress me out."

"For the love of god, _don't _stress out again." Huey rolled his eyes as well, turning back to the computer. "Because the spare inhaler I have is empty and I know you didn't bring the one at your house with you."

Cindy snorted. "Huey keeps your inhalers?"

""Huey" is the one who remembers she has asthma in the first place," Huey pointed out, not even bothering to tear his eyes away from the computer. "Jazmine forgets. Always."

Jazmine gasped. "Not true!"

"Jazmine. If it weren't for me remembering to pick up your medicine each month or to go get your inhalers refilled, _or _to keep a spare one on me, you'd probably be dead by now." He shook his head. "I've never met someone so careless about maintaining their ability to breathe properly in my _life_-"

"Hush!" Jazmine flipped a page in her magazine, shaking her head. Cindy smacked her lips.

"Uh huh, yeah, whatever." She folded her legs underneath her and sat up, turning to her friend. "So...you're going to need a godmother, right?"

Jazmine blinked. "What?"

"A godmother! You know, for your baby?" Cindy's big blue eyes blinked pleadingly towards Jazmine and she clasped her hands. "Come on! I'm your best friend!"

"We don't even know if we're keeping it!" Huey threw up his hands. "How many times do either of us have to say that?!"

Jazmine opened her mouth to reply, stopping as Huey's bedroom door burst open and Caesar rushed in, stopping when he saw the three of them staring at him. "Hey!"

"Baby!" Cindy leaped up, running over to him and throwing her arms around his shoulders, kissing him. "You didn't tell me you were coming over here!"

"Yeah, well I had to after what I heard!" Caesar gave Jazmine an odd look. "You're _pregnant_?"

"Ceez, I told you this weeks ago!" Huey shouted. Caesar raised his eyebrows at his friend.

"I thought you were trying to pull a fast one on me."

"Why the hell would I joke about that?"

"Anyways-" Caesar bounced on the end of the bed, sitting beside Jazmine's socked feet. "So, that means you're going to need a godfather, right?"

"Oh, my-" Huey closed his eyes, groaning. He opened them again and opened his mouth to speak. Before he could say anything, however, his door flew open again.

"Hey!"

Huey practically jumped out of his chair. "What the hell?" He rubbed his eyes. "Who the hell are you?!"

The man, who was slouching and looking quite raggedy, shrugged. "You mean to tell me you don't remember me?" He asked, his voice a slow drawl. Huey's eyes narrowed as he studied him, then widened with recognition.

"Aren't you that guy who stood in the line for an entire year to see _Star Wars_ when I first moved here?!"

"Yep." The shaggy looking white guy jammed one of his hands in his pocket, the other reaching up to scratch his shaggy beard. "I remembered your name and was at the Farmer's Market up the road and heard...you're having a baby?"

"GET OUT!" Huey roared, pointing towards the door. "How did you even get in my house?!"

"He came in with me, and you gon stop all that yellin I tell ya, ya nappy headed jiggaboo." Uncle Ruckus stepped into the room, blinking around before his eyes settled on Jazmine, whose mouth was hanging open. "So, it's true. You dun let that cotton pickin negro go head and give you his seed. All that white blood passed down to you and yo gon curse the child to be three quarters nigga!" He shook his head. "Bringin' anotha nigga baby into the world-"

"Move out my way, old money!" Caesar and Cindy exchanged looks as Ed Wuncler the Third shoved past the star wars guy, nodding towards Huey. "Aye, whassup mane." He nodded towards Jazmine. "I heard you fucked up."

Huey smacked his palm against his forehead. Jazmine sat up, frowning.

"Excuse me?" Everyone looked towards her, including Huey. Leave it to her to be polite to a room full of people who had taken it upon themselves to burst in his _room_, let alone his house in the first place! Where the hell was Grandad? Riley? "If you don't mind me asking-" She cleared her throat timidly. "Why are you here?"

"We here to save y'all asses, girl!" Ed walked over, sitting beside her and wrapping a pale arm around her shoulders. "We know that this is a time in yo life where you gon need the advice of the wise ones around you."

"Okay." Huey leaned forward. "Then why are _you _here?"

"Now, the first piece of advice I have to give you-" Ed said, pointing his thumb towards Huey's narrowed eyes. "Is that if the baby's his, get an abortion."

"What?!" Huey spat, a murderous expression on his face.

"Don't nobody want no hater babies, hater!" Ed shouted. He turned to see everyone staring at him. "The _fuck _y'all lookin at?!"

"Well, that is true," Ruckus agreed, nodding. "Everyone knows all niggas are haters. Jazmine, if you really want a baby, drop this one and go make one with a nice white boy who smells like Pine Sol and has blue eyes-"

"NUH UH!" A sudden roar from the hallway made everyone flinch, their eyes wide. The door suddenly flew open, knocking the star wars guy aside so that he hit the floor hard. A Latina woman with long, dark hair tinged with red highlights stood in the doorway, her expression murderous and her fists clenched. She stepped into the room, everyone so afraid they parted like the red sea.

"Alright!" She yelled. "Who's the bitch that fucked with my man?" She snapped her fingers. "Cause ain't nobody gon come up in here and take _my _man unless they want me to light dat ass up!"

Jazmine's eyes widened and she slowly turned her head, staring at Huey so hard he cringed. "Huey." Her voice was dangerously low, a rare occurrence. "Who the hell is _that_?"

"I don't know!" The usually calm revolutionary's eyes widened. "I don't know what the hell she's talkin' about-"

"Carmela!" Riley suddenly stomped in, pulling on her arm and yanking her attention to him. "Man, you in da wrong damn story, son!" He pointed towards Huey. "_Dat _nigga's havin the baby, not me!"

"Oh!" Carmela looked around. "My b." When everyone continued to stare at her with wide eyes she sucked her teeth, flipping her hair. "I said _my b_, damn! Actin like I hurt your feelings and shit!" She spun on her heel, disappearing out the door. Riley rolled his eyes, following her. "Tryin' to fuck around with Carmela Tiffany Rodriquez-"

"THIS AIN'T YO STORY! GET OUT!" Caesar yelled. "Damn!"

"Oh no you didn't!" Carmela stormed back into the room, but before she could jump on Caesar two more people rushed in, grabbing her by each of her arms and pulling her back.

"Mela!" Another girl, an inch or two taller than the seething Carmela, glared at her as she tugged at her wrist. The other person, an even taller, dark skinned boy, had a firm grip on her other arm. "Come on, you heard them! This isn't our story!"

"I mean, they could at least let us roll in here for a little while..." The boy said with a shrug. Huey, Jazmine, Caesar and Cindy glared at them.

"NO!"

"Seriously," Jazmine whispered in Huey's ear. "Who _are _they?"

He shook his head. "For once, I have no idea."

"Whateva." Carmela whipped around again. "This shit borin as hell anyway. Sunshine, Mike!" She snapped her fingers, stalking out the door again. "We got places to go! Don't act like you don't know-"

"Wait up!" Sunshine cried, skipping out after her. Mike raised his chin as he walked out behind them, his hands in his pockets.

"Deuces!" He yelled. The remainder of the room's occupants waited for the misdirected character's voices to fade before turning towards each other. Caesar raised an eyebrow.

"That was...awkward."

Huey let out a long, drawn out sigh.

"Alright." Cindy shuddered, rolling her eyes. "Now that we have that all sorted out-"

"So lyke I was sayin," Ed went on, sucking his teeth. "You wanna have a baby, have em by _me_." He looked her up and down, licking hsi lips. "I could get up in dem jeans-"

"You should give it up for adoption!" The star wars guy said from his spot on the floor. He waved his hand in the air. "Maybe then it'll be adopted by a Jedi! And it'll be the savior of the universe, and finish off the Siths-"

"The only way you should have dat baby is if it'll come out knowin how to pick cotton, cause that's the only thing it'll be good for!" Ruckus said, going into a coughing fit. He got a hold of himself and cleared his throat. "If it ain't light and yellow then kill it!"

Jazmine's jaw dropped. Huey's eyes were narrowed into tiny slits.

"Alright, but forreal girl." Cindy pat her knee. "Can I be the godmother? Please?"

"...unless Huey's nappy ass got some french in him somewhere..."

"I mean, you kind of skinny for me, but those hips aren't too bad-"

"...Um, guys? Huey's turning red..."

"So you gon let a muthafucka get in that?"

BANG. BANG. BANG.

"AH!" Everyone screamed, covering their faces and ducking. They looked up to see Huey holding an airsoft gun, shaking his head, his eyes closed.

"If anyone who isn't named Jazmine, Caesar, or Cindy isn't out of my house in five seconds," He said from between clenched teeth, his eyes still closed. "I will get a real gun, and shoot every last one of you."

_That _did it. Everyone scrambled for the door, pushing each other out the way in a haste to get out, save Uncle Ruckus who was still grumbling.

"Wish his monkey ass would shoot me...I'll call the zoo on his ass, tell them a wild animal on the loose." He was the last to leave, his voice still heard echoing in the hallway. "Dat's all niggas know how to do. Shoot people, go to jail, quit jobs...get a real hobby!"

Huey slammed the door shut, locking it. He spun around, dropping the gun and leaning against the door, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at Caesar and Cindy.

"Who," He said slowly, his eyes hardening. "_Told _everyone?"

Caesar and Cindy swallowed, exchanging glances.

"I...may have told someone," Caesar admitted, scratching his neck. "But I swear, I only told one person!"

"I..." Cindy winced as everyone looked at her. "I may have made it my facebook status."

Huey's eyebrows rose so high they disappeared into his hairline. Jazmine's jaw dropped. Caesar shook his head. She ducked her own head, blushing.

"Sorry?" She shrugged. "I was excited, alright? I put "Excited for my best friend, hope I get to be a godmother!" How is that telling everyone?"

"Because everyone with half a brain knows that you and Jazmine have been best friends wince we were ten!" Huey yelled, throwing up his hands. "Cindy! DUH!"

"Don't duh me!" Cindy shot back. "I ain't know nobody paid attention forreal! I don't even have that many friends!"

"You have over TWO THOUSAND FRIENDS!" Huey shook his head. "Cindy, get out." He buried his face in his palm. "I just might go to jail."

Cindy opened her, mouth, closed it, and glared. She stood up, stomping out the room. Caesar sighed, rising to his feet.

"If I don't leave with her I'm going to hear hell about it later," He said, jabbing his thumb towards the door. Huey nodded. He walked out the door, gently closing it behind him. Huey let out a long, weary sigh, glancing towards Jazmine, who was hugging a pillow, giving him a concerned look.

"Are you okay?" He asked. She nodded.

"No tight chest? No shortened airways?"

She shook her head. "What about you?" She pulled at a string on his bedspread, frowning. "I know this is hard on you."

"It's hard on _both _of us." He sighed, going over to his desk and grabbing a set of keys, heading to his closet to get his coat. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" Jazmine asked softly. Huey pointed towards the door.

"If we're going to have to deal with _that _for the next few weeks, I'm going to get your inhaler refilled." He snorted, pulling it off a hanger. "Because I'm pretty sure they're going to give me an asthma attack and I'm not even asthmatic-"

There was a soft knock on the door. "WHAT?!" Huey yelled, causing Jazmine to flinch. There was a long silence.

"So," Cindy's soft voice floated in through the wood. "This isn't going to mess up my chances of being the godmother, is it?"

Jazmine slid off the bed, walking over to Huey and resting her hand on his shoulder as he visibly flinched, closing his eyes again.

"I'm going to go hide your real guns now," She said, shaking her head and opening the door, knocking Cindy aside and closing it gently behind her. Huey groaned.

If grown ass adults were this bad, then how would a _baby _act?

* * *

Multiple character confusion for the win! Once again, Carmela, Sunshine, and Mike himself aren't mine. Nope.

Sooo review? Maybe? Please?! DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!1111

-Kelsey


	7. Choice

Still sick as a bitch. So I have nothing to do _but _write. So, thanks to TRIGGER MIKE THE GREAT and MzMinni3 for the reviews! This chapter doesn't have as much humor in it cause face it...not all parts of pregnancy are funny. Just, you know, most of them. :feels glares of pregnant women everywhere: Joking! Yeesh...

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks. Still.

* * *

Choice

"Name?"

"Jazmine DuBois."

"Birthday?"

"Nine, nine, eighty nine."

"Time of your appointment?"

"One forty five."

"Who's he?"

Jazmine glanced towards Huey, who was standing beside her with a scowl and folded arms as he glanced around the place. She turned back to the receptionist, a petite white girl with a perm and an attitude, who was flipping through paperwork.

"Um...he's my boyfriend."

The receptionist gave him a glance over, her blue eyes flickering towards the mulatto.

"...Seriously, who is that?" She leaned closer, examining his afro. He glared at her.

"Is it really any of your business who I am?" He said impatiently, letting out a long sigh. The girl sat back, shrugging.

"Well, one of the custodians snuck into the back a couple weeks ago and stole the jar of sugar free lollipops, and you kind of looked like him so I thought-"

"Ooh, you have those?" Jazmine asked excitedly. The girl rolled her eyes.

"No, because they were _stolen." _She glanced at Huey again. "I mean, he had a fro...and those eyebrows-"

"Oh, so since I'm black with an afro I have to be a thief?" Huey snapped. He slammed his hand down on the counter, making Jazmine jump. "I'm the baby's father, _alright_? Not a damn custodial worker!"

Everyone in the considerably crowded waiting room turned to look at them. The girl snorted. Jazmine rested her elbows on the counter.

"So...you _don't _have any more sugar free lollipops?"

The girl handed over a clipboard, which was loaded down with a stack of forms. She slapped a pen on the countertop. "Just fill those out, Candyland," She said, going back to her computer and beginning to type. Jazmine shrugged and picked up the pen, heading for a row of chairs on the wall and sitting in one. Huey flopped down beside her, still annoyed.

"White people."

"Just try to calm down," Jazmine said, her pen scribbling against the paper. Huey gave her a look.

"Calm down? That woman thought I was a criminal based on my race!"

"Oh, stealing lollipops isn't a real crime," Jazmine responded, waving her hand at him. Huey raised an eyebrow. After a moment she caught her mistake and hurriedly looked at him, her eyes wide.

"I mean, you don't look like a criminal!"

"Whatever." Huey sighed again, leaning back in his chair and stretching out his feet. "This is stupid."

"You didn't have to come, you know," Jazmine pointed out, scribbling more before turning the page. Huey rolled his eyes.

"Of course I did." He stared at some white pregnant woman that was sitting across from them, who was staring as intensely at his afro as the receptionist had. "Like I'd really let you come alone. Problem?" He asked in a louder tone, narrowing his eyes at the woman. She shook her head, looking back down to her magazine. Jazmine elbowed him.

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?"

"Antagonizing." Jazmine cut her eyes at him. "Cut it out."

"Well I'm not the one with a _staring _problem! Like they've never seen a black man before," He mumbled under his breath, exhaling loudly.

Jazmine sighed. "I understand that you're a crusader for African American rights and that as an equal member of American society you expect to be treated as such, but could you please give the unfortunate white folk a break today?" She shrugged, grinning. "Besides, maybe they think you're cute."

Huey raised an eyebrow at her. Jazmine smirked.

"You know you want to smile."

"I'll do no such thing."

"Why?" Jazmine nudged him. "Maybe they've never seen such a _beautiful chocolate man_-"

"Cut it out!" Huey snapped, even though he was admittedly holding back laughter. Jazmine went back to filling out the abundant amount of paperwork and he tapped his fingers on the arm of his chair, glancing towards the door that the occasional doctor would poke their head out of, calling people back. After a while Jazmine ceased her writing to look at him.

"Nervous?"

He gave her a look of his own. "No."

Her eyebrows lifted. After a few moments he sighed.

"Maybe."

She shrugged. "Well, _I'm _nervous. But it's okay." She pat his hand.

"Oh?" His tone was filled with disbelief. "And how do you know that?"

"Because." Jazmine went back to her forms. "They totally have sugar free lollipops. I saw a jar of them in the back of the receptionist's desk when we were at the counter. She's probably just trying to keep them all for her greedy self..."

"Seriously?!"

"I'm joking. It will be okay." She looked at him. "Okay?"

Surprisingly, he _did _feel a little better. He nodded, watching her write. For someone who was so emotional and easily worried, she did a good job of calming down other people. Just as she finished the last page the door opened again and a white female with dark hair and glasses opened the door wide.

"Jazmine DuBois?"

Jazmine jumped up, causing a few other people to groan. Honestly. Waiting in this place was like hoping to strike the lottery. Huey got up as well, following her as she walked through the door, handing her forms to the receptionist on the way back. The woman glared at Huey as he passed, one that he easily returned.

"Here." They got back into a wide hallway, stopping in front of a scale. "Alright, get on," The nurse said, stepping back. Jazmine sighed.

"Can I take off my shoes? Or use the bathroom first?"

The woman smirked. "Just do it, honey."

Jazmine got on the scale and the woman messed around with it before scribbling something down on a chart. "One twenty seven. How tall are you?"

"Five nine."

"Nice." The nurse handed her a cup. "Now, I need a urine sample." Jazmine took the cup from her, disappearing into the restroom across the hall. The nurse noticed Huey for the first time.

"Who are you?"

Huey sighed. "I'm her boyfriend."

The nurse tapped her chin with her pen, the hand with the clipboard on her hip. "You know who you look like?"

"I didn't steal your damn lollipops."

Jazmine came out the restroom, handing a clear cup halfway filled with liquid to the nurse, making a face. "Thank you," The nurse said, giving Huey an odd look and leading the way to a room down the hall. She opened the door so that they could walk inside.

"Alright, the doctor will be with you in just a minute." She closed the door behind her and Huey rolled his eyes.

"That's code for "get ready to wait for another half an hour"," He mumbled. Jazmine shook her head at him, jumping up onto the examining table and laying back, wiggling her feet over the edge.

"Are you going to start up another lecture now?" She asked in an amused tone. Huey glared at her.

"Just for that, I'm not going to say anything." He sat down in a chair beside the table, crossing his arms. Jazmine shrugged.

"Okay."

There was a long moment of silence. Finally, Jazmine sighed, turning onto her side so that she could look at him.

"Fine. Go ahead."

Huey took a deep breath. "It really seems ridiculous to me how any center distributing medical care can have you wait in a waiting room for a long period of time, only to have you get your hopes up by them calling you into the back, where you discover you have to wait _again_. On top of that, since you're the only person in the room, unless there's two of you, you can't even stare at other people and make snide comments about them or watch something on TV. No kinds of distractions, no type of entertainment...if it takes thirty minutes for your doctor to come see you despite the fact that your appointment is at a specific time and they're late regardless, what's the point of making an appointment to begin with? And people want to complain about them trying to establish universal health care because it would require longer wait periods? Are you kidding me? Universal-"

"Okay, stop." Jazmine laughed. "I just had to make sure you were going to say the same thing you did when you had bronchitis a year back-"

"Whatever." The doorknob turned and both of them fell silent as a woman in a white coat walked in, her red hair up in chopsticks and her face buried in a stack of paperwork.

"Good afternoon, Ms. DuBois." She lowered the paperwork. "And...friend...?"

Huey rolled his eyes. There wasn't even any use in explaining himself again. She pointed at him.

"You know, we had a guy who came in a few weeks ago who got a hold of our sugar free-"

"So, how are you doing today?" Jazmine asked pleasantly, not wanting to have to go visit Huey in jail when he attempted murder. The woman smiled kindly at her, sitting down in front of the computer on the opposite wall.

"I'm good, but we're here to talk about _you._" She clasped her hands together, leaning forward. "Pregnant, huh?"

"Naw," Huey mumbled under his breath. Jazmine shot him a look.

"Yes."

"Well, I'm just going to start by asking you a few questions." She picked up the clipboard again, skimming through the pages. "Let's see...your last remembered period was August 27th. How long did it last?"

"They're usually really short, so it was done by the first of September," She answered automatically. The doctor nodded, scribbling something.

"Okay...and have you ever had any menstrual problems?"

"No."

"Any STDs?"

Jazmine's eyes widened. "_No._"

The doctor looked up. "You sure?"

"_Yes_."

"Well, have you been tested for them?"

"Why would I need to be if I've never had any?"

"How would you know if you've never been tested?"

"Because he-" Jazmine pointed to Huey, who raised his eyebrows. "Is the only person I've been with."

The doctor leaned forward. "And are you the only person he's ever been with?"

"Um..." Jazmine shifted uncomfortably. "Well, no."

"Then how do you know?"

"I haven't given her some STD, okay?" Huey groaned. "Don't you automatically test her for that anyway?"

Sensing the growing hostility the doctor flipped the page, shaking her head. "Let's just move on...any allergies?"

"No."

"Any previous pregnancies?"

"No."

"History of high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease?"

"No."

She looked up. "You have asthma?"

"Yes."

"On average how many asthma attacks do you have a month?"

Jazmine thought about it. "I'd say anywhere from four to eight."

"How often per week?"

"At least once. Sometimes more if I'm stressed enough."

"Huh." She wrote more. "Do you smoke?"

"No."

"Drink?"

"No."

"Do drugs?"

Jazmine raised an eyebrow. "No."

"Have you been a victim of abuse?"

"No!"

The doctor's eyes flickered towards Huey. "You sure?"

He rolled his eyes. Jazmine nodded.

"I'm sure."

The doctor wrote more before turning towards Huey. "Okay, and I'm assuming you're the baby's father?"

He nodded, crossing his arms.

"Any history of genetic or chromosomal disorders in your family?"

"No."

"Has anyone had any developmental delays you know of?"

If it was appropriate he'd make a joke about Riley but he decided against it. "No."

"Have either one of you taken any type of medication since conception?"

Huey shook his head.

"I take medicine for my asthma, but not other than that," Jazmine said. The doctor nodded again.

"Any rashes, viruses? Infections?"

Huey and Jazmine both shook their heads.

"Okay." She sat back, lacing her fingers together. "I'm willing to say, based off the date of the start of your last period, that you're almost twelve weeks along."

Jazmine's eyes widened. She and Huey exchanged equally shocked looks before glancing back to the doctor.

"That...far?" Jazmine asked weakly.

"That far." The doctor snorted, turning in her chair and writing some more. "Alright, I'm going to order you some blood tests so we can check some things. Look for Anemia, Rh factor, Hepatitis, immunity to German Measles, things like that. Then, I'm going to check the baby's heartbeat." She offered Jazmine a smile. "Okay?"

"Um...okay."

"Good." She pushed back her chair, grabbing the paperwork and heading out the room. As soon as she closed the door Jazmine lay back down, shaking her head. She glanced at Huey, her hair falling over the edge of the examining table.

"This is actually happening," She said, glancing back at the ceiling. "Twelve. Weeks." She cleared her throat. "I mean, I thought it sank in before but...I guess it hadn't."

He didn't say anything. She sat up on her elbows, looking at him.

"What are we going to do?" She swallowed. "I mean, really. We've done a lot of talking about it but...we've got to decide something."

Huey sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and looking at her.

"We already know the options. Adoption. Keep it. Abortion." He shook his head. "The third one's going to be out in over a week."

Jazmine looked away, easing back again and going back to staring at the ceiling, her hands folded over her stomach. "I can't do this," She whispered to no one in particular. She turned her head again, glancing at Huey. He was giving her a worried look. "I can't go through with this."

He was calm, a lot calmer than she was feeling. "So what are you saying?"

"I don't know what I'm saying." Jazmine looked away again, swallowing a lump of emotion. "I just..." She cut off abruptly, closing her eyes. "I can't imagine having a baby. I can't imagine having a baby and giving it away even more. And I can't imagine not having a baby at all because it seems so...selfish."

"It's not selfish if you aren't ready."

Jazmine sat up again. "Well, what do you think?"

Huey was silent for a moment. Then, he shrugged.

"I don't know...we basically feel the same way about the situation."

"But if you _had _to choose." Jazmine leaned forward. "Just tell me."

He sighed. "Given that we're at a point in our lives where a baby wouldn't exactly fit..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "In the end, it's going to be up to you. You're the one that's pregnant. If you decide we should keep it, I'll respect that. And if you don't, I'll respect that, too."

Jazmine's eyes lowered to the floor. She pressed her lips together, trying not to give in to her urge to break down right there in the middle of the room.

"I can't do it." She shook her head again, tears welling in her eyes. "I just _can't_."

Huey leaned forward, taking one of her hands. She looked up at him. Unlike her light, misty eyes his were dark, unwavering. Strong.

"If you feel that way, then don't."

* * *

Thanks for reading! woo!!!

-Kelsey


	8. Choice Pt II

Updating AGAIN. Geez I need to get better so I can go have a life or something. haha. Once again this isn't really a humorous chapter. Ask me if I care.  
...well, what are you waiting for? ASK!  
...Wait, you don't care enough to ask me? Aww. :(

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks. Still.

* * *

Choice Pt II

Jazmine hadn't slept the entire night. Not because she kept having to pee (well, alright, it was _partially _because of that) or because she kept feeling dizzy, but because she couldn't stop thinking about what was going to happen the next morning. So, of course, when the next morning _did _come she was nauseated, dizzy, had to pee still, and grumpy. A sleepy Jazmine was _not _a happy Jazmine.

It was cloudy outside, which only added more gloom to her mood. While the silence was quite nice, after awhile Huey sighed from his spot behind the steering wheel, giving her a look at one of the stoplights.

"What's wrong?"

Jazmine looked at him. "Nothing."

"Something." He eyed her. "Seriously. You haven't said anything the whole morning."

Jazmine racked her brain for excuses. "I'm silently remembering the loss of the many lives that occurred on this day at Pearl Harbor so many years ago."

Huey's eyes narrowed towards her, considering her face. "While I am impressed that you remembered the bombing of Pearl Harbor was indeed December seventh, that's not what you're doing," He said, shaking his head as the light turned green. "You're worrying."

"Am I not supposed to worry?" She mumbled, looking out the window again. Huey shook his head.

"I didn't say that. But you should try to calm down."

Ha! Calm down! That Huey was a funny one. Jazmine rested her head against the back of her seat, thinking back to just a few days ago when she'd decided to go through with an abortion in the first place. It had seemed like the only thing she could do. She wasn't ready for children, Huey _definitely _wasn't ready for children...

Yet, the weirdest thing had happened when the doctor had come back with some instrument she called a Doppler and placed it on her stomach. She'd gotten to hear the baby, _her _baby's heartbeat...and she couldn't stop thinking about it. She thought about it when she was at Cindy's house, when she was at home having dinner with her parents. She thought about it in the shower. She thought about it going to get the mail. There was a heartbeat, and it was constant, just like her own.

Before she couldn't imagine how she could live with a baby. Now she couldn't see how she could just kill it. It may have seemed weird, but...was it possible to love something you didn't even _know _yet?

It seemed like they'd gotten to the clinic too fast, and Huey was cutting off the engine, staring at her with a concerned look on his face. She looked away, finding the clouds to be suddenly fascinating.

"Jazmine. Come on." He leaned towards her. "What's bothering you?"

She shook her head. She was scared that if she tried to say anything she'd start crying, and then that would just make her feel _worse_. Seeing that he wasn't going to let up though, she took a deep breath.

"I just don't feel good."

He looked doubtful but had no choice but to sigh and shake his head. He pushed his door open, staring back at her when she didn't move. "Are you ready?"

Jazmine nodded, unfastening her seatbelt and climbing out the car before slamming the door. She jammed her hands in her coat pockets so that she could hide the fact that they'd started shaking. She followed Huey into the clinic, standing back and letting him do the talking while she looked around the place. She tried to calm her breathing, feeling as if her heart was about to beat out her chest.

"Jazmine."

She jumped, glancing around and noticing that Huey had left the desk and was sitting down, facing the TV. He was giving her an odd look, which she could completely understand. She had to look insane right about then.

"Are you going to sit down?" He asked in a patient voice, as if he were talking to a three year old. She nodded, swallowing and slowly sinking beside him. She stared at the tiled floor beneath her sneakers. She listened to her own breathing, tuning everything else out.

What if someone had aborted Martin Luther King Jr? Or Tupac? Her baby could be a football player, a chemist, a dancer. It could be a boy or a girl. It could have black hair, hazel eyes, be short, be tall, be _anything_. And she'd never know! There was a _person _in her, depending on her for survival, and she was just going to let it kick the bucket!

Her dad had been upset when she told them about getting an abortion. Her mother, on the other hand, was the one who had come up to her room later that evening and told her that the decision was hers to make and hers alone. She and her mom could see completely different views of something and she'd still support her daughter, no matter what. Huey was the same way (unless it came to republicans, conservatives, fundamentalists, circus people, or anything that involved needles).

But they both had _dreams_. Dreams that would easily be deterred if she had a baby! She wanted to be a surgeon, he wanted to be a judge. They wanted grad school! How could she possibly go to grad school with a child? Would she even be able to graduate _regular _college?!

She didn't know how she felt about abortions. She had a friend from high school who had gotten one and never looked back. She sat next to a girl in Botany who had gotten an abortion and regretted it to this day. She didn't think they should be illegal, no...but could she _herself _really get one?

Could she really just get rid of her child, even if it was one of inconvenience?

She snuck a glance towards Huey, who was staring up at a TV hanging from the wall, watching CNN.

What if someone had aborted the CNN broadcasters? Then who would be running the place, Ronald McDonald and Big Bird?

Wait...what if someone had aborted _them too_?!

Jazmine closed her eyes, exhaling. She told herself to calm down. She told herself that this was the right decision, what needed to be done. She told herself she'd be okay.

Only, the more she told herself that, the less okay it became, and the more she had to resist the urge to cry.

She'd told her parents she was getting an abortion. She told Cindy (who was disappointed as well). Huey knew she was getting one. How would she look if she suddenly backed out of it? Not to mention, Huey was probably so relieved that he didn't have to trade his diploma for diapers that to not go through with it would probably be like a slap in the face.

She was doing the right thing. She was doing the right thing-

"Ms. DuBois?"

Her eyes flew open and her head whipped up as a solemn faced doctor looked out of the door that led back to the operating rooms, staring at her.

"You can come back now." He wasn't smiling at her, but he wasn't frowning either. His face was unreadable.

_'Baby killer!' _Her mind screamed. Beside her Huey stood up, stretching a bit before glancing down at her.

"Coming?" He asked. He was looking at her with serious concern in his wine colored eyes. She nodded, standing up and walking towards the doctor, putting her hands in her pockets all over again. The three of them went through the door, taking an immediate left down a long hallway and going into the fourth door on the right. Jazmine clenched her teeth together to keep them from chattering, pressed her mouth as tightly closed as possible so that she wouldn't cry. The room was average sized, with an examination table in the center. She looked up when the doctor handed her a pen and some forms.

"I need you to sign these." He walked back out the door, nodding towards them. "They'll be with you in just a few minutes." He closed the door behind him.

Jazmine walked over to the edge of the bed, keeping her back turned to Huey since she knew he was watching her. She set the papers down and climbed on the bed, facing the wall and picking them up again. She tried to read them. Her eyes blurred so badly that she couldn't make out the words.

"Okay." She heard Huey's footsteps coming closer. "Tell me what's going on."

She shook her head, trying to hold in the tears. She swallowed, then let out a tiny hiccup.

That did it.

"Now I _know _something's wrong." Huey stepped in front of her and crossed his arms, but when he looked at her his eyes widened, then narrowed. "You're trembling."

She shook her head again.

"What, you're _not _shaking or nothing's wrong?" He glared at her. "Because either way, you're lying." When she didn't look at him he tried again. "Are you nervous? Scared?"

She slowly shook her head.

"Well, are you feeling sick?" When she started to look away, tears filling her eyes, he came closer and grabbed her shoulders so that she looked back up at him. "No. Look at me. _Talk _to me. Tell me what's wrong."

Behind them, she heard the door open again, could hear the doctor coming in. "Are you ready?" He asked. Huey shook his head.

"Wait." He crouched in front of her so that they were eye level to each other. "Okay. You have _got _to tell me what's going on. Because, even though I never thought I'd say this in my life, you are scaring me. Really."

Jazmine opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Instead she closed her eyes, shaking her head again. Huey groaned.

"Jazmine, come _on_!"

"Ms. DuBois-"

"I said wait a minute!" Huey snapped back at the doctor, turning to her again. "Jazmine." He gave her a knowing look, realization dawning on him. "Do you want to do this?"

She opened her eyes again, still shaking. He took her face in his hands, looking into her eyes.

"If you don't want to do this, you _don't _have to." He glanced behind her towards where the doctor was setting up things before focusing on her again. "Is that what it is?" She let out a shaky breath, obviously trying not to cry. "Tell me!"

Jazmine lowered her head, not saying anything. Then, slowly, she shook her head.

And then she was crying, so hard it was as if someone had released the flood gates. Behind them, the doctor was shifting awkwardly.

"Are we still doing this?" He asked. Huey glared at him.

"Does it _look _like we're still doing this?" He snapped, making the man jump. "No. We're _not_. So thanks, but no thanks."

The doctor blinked, frowning. "Okay, then." He tapped his foot. "Then-"

"We're going, we're going! Damn!" Huey took Jazmine's hand, pulling her off the table and leading the way out the room. They made their way out of the back and then out of the waiting room, so that they were greeted with a blast of cold air once they hit the doors. No sooner than it took them to reach the car, Jazmine started sobbing even harder than before. Huey sighed, pulling her into his chest and wrapping his arms around her.

"It's okay," He said softly, smoothing his hand over her straight hair. "Calm down. It's okay."

Jazmine shook her head, hiccuping. "I-I'm sorry!" She blubbered, burying her face in his collar. His eyebrows raised and he held her away at arms length, staring down at her red rimmed eyes.

"Why the hell are you sorry?"

"I-" Jazmine sniffed, pointing towards the building. "I thought that's what you w-wanted!" She cried, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand. "And I d-didn't want to ruin y-your life by c-changing my mind, but...but I just couldn't kill it!" She was sobbing all over again, her words running together so terrible they were almost illegible. Almost. "I c-can't j-just-"

"You just don't _listen_." Huey hugged her again, shaking his head. "I said I'd respect your decision either way. I _mean _that."

"B-but-" Jazmine lifted her head, hiccuping again. "E-everything's going to be d-different now!"

"Things are different already." Huey groaned. "I need you to be clear about what you want, instead of saying what you think I want to hear." He stared at her. "No abortion, right?"

She nodded.

"And no adoption."

She paused, then nodded again.

"So we're going to keep it."

She took a deep breath, nodding. He gave her a look.

"And that's what _you _want."

Jazmine swallowed, sniffling. "Yes."

"Then it's what we're going to do." He gave her a light shake. "Okay? You don't have to cry anymore. We're not going back in there."

She sighed, swallowing. "Okay."

"Good." He let go of her, opening the passenger door for her. When she got in he shut it, walking around to the driver's side and getting in himself. He cut the car on, rolling his eyes. "Making me think you're having a heart attack or something-"

"So, you're really okay with this?" Jazmine asked as he looked out the back window, pulling out the parking space. He sighed.

"_Yes_." When he faced forward again he shrugged. "Actually, if you must know, I'm a little glad you didn't go through with it."

Jazmine raised an eyebrow, sniffing. "Really?"

"Really."

"Why?"

He looked annoyed. Now that she wasn't on the verge of an emotional breakdown he could afford to be his usual grumpy self. "I just am."

Jazmine shook her head at him. "That's a horrible reason."

"And it's horrible how I always get you talking again when I know I'm going to regret it."

"Hey!" Jazmine said, frowning until she noticed the smug look on his face. She stuck her tongue out at him. "Meanie."

"Whatever."

"Alright, but seriously." Jazmine crossed her arms over her chest. "What are we going to do now?"

Huey glanced at her. "I have no idea."

"Good." She leaned back in her seat. "That makes two of us."

* * *

Now that that's over :collapses on pillows:

-Kelsey


	9. Vegetarians and Carnivores

Goddamn i'm slow. I was totally working on another chapter for All Roads Lead to Washington and the next thing I know I'm updating this story AGAIN. Goodness. My bronchitis is still acting up but at least I don't feel like I'm about to croak like I did yesterday (or early this morning, since I couldn't fall into a fever induced sleep until freaking 4 am). I know I'm updating super fast so I don't expect too many reviews. I do appreciate those who are reading though and who WILL review :hint hint:

Disclaimer: The Boondocks ain't mine! Dang!

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Vegetarians and Carnivores

The first thing that Jazmine saw when she walked into the kitchen in a pair of boxer shorts and a wrinkled t shirt was Huey.

Obviously _that _wasn't the problem. The problem was that he was in the refrigerator. And the trashcan was right beside him.

Oh, no. Jazmine's green eyes widened.

Although Huey and Jazmine, despite their many differences, weren't the types to get into serious arguments, food was something that they constantly got into it about. Huey, the strict vegetarian for over ten years, constantly got on Jazmine, the meat loving carnivore she was, about her eating habits. In turn, Jazmine always got defensive and yelled at him for trying to force his "rabbit food" on her.

Needless to say, it never ended well. Shoot, when they'd moved into their apartment a little under two years before and had gone grocery shopping for the first time, they'd ended up being banned from the Farm Fresh near their house! Which had been pretty ridiculous; it wasn't Jazmine's fault she was so frustrated at Huey putting all her purchases back on the shelves that she "accidentally" threw a pack of steaks at his head, missed, and hit an elderly woman instead!

And alright, that case of lobsters they accidentally crashed their shopping cart into didn't help much, but still!

Then again, there was also the incident with the prime ribs and the avocados...

Fine. So maybe them being banned_ was _their fault. Regardless, the woman was serious about her meat and the man was equally serious about his health food.

So, with Huey going through _her _refrigerator (fine, her _parents _refrigerator) in_ her _kitchen (well, her parents kitchen) in _her house _(you get the picture!) at eight in the morning...well, these were dangerous waters to be sailing.

"Huey." Jazmine stopped in the doorway, folding her arms over her chest. "What. Are you doing?"

Huey poked his head from out of the refrigerator, having the decency to look _somewhat _apologetic.

"Saving your life, that's what I'm doing." He pushed himself to his feet and tucked his hands in the pockets of his khaki pants as Jazmine gingerly stepped over a few scattered food items, peeking into the refrigerator. Her eyes widened.

"What did you_ do_?" She asked, her voice filled with horror. The refrigerator looked oddly empty, minus some condiments here, a carton of milk there. No one in Jazmine's house was a vegetarian, not even close. Her mother was probably the only one who didn't cower away from green and leafy foods, but even she enjoyed the occasional prime rib. Huey rolled his eyes.

"I disinfected it of bad food, that's what I did."

"Huey." Jazmine's nose wrinkled. "The food's all so..._green_."

"Yes, Jazmine." Huey looked down at her, shaking his head. "We've had this conversation before. They're called _vegetables_."

"Why would you do this?" Jazmine asked, trying to keep from screaming at him. It was hard to control her emotions before, but now that she was pregnant? It was practically impossible. "What were you thinking?!"

"I was thinking," Huey said, not sounding the least bit intimidated. "That you're eating for two now. And you can't live off of baby back ribs, cheeseburgers, and pork chops like you usually do."

"Says _who_?!" Jazmine snapped. "Let me know, so I can go knock them the hell out!" She stomped her foot as her eyes swept over the shelves again. "You threw out my steak fajitas!"

Huey pulled out a book, handing it to Jazmine. She read the cover, her eyebrows knitting together.

_"So Yo Gurl Pregnant: Why You Mad, Tho?"_ She glanced up at Huey. "You're getting eating tips from _a book_?" Her frown deepened. "And _this _book, of all of them?"

"Oh, wait. That's the book Caesar gave me." Huey snatched it back, handing her another one. She glanced at the cover.

_"Foods to Avoid During Pregnancy". _She opened it, flipping through a few pages. "Fish?" Her jaw dropped. "Bullshit!" She glared at him. "That's not even considered meat!"

Huey gave her a look. "...It is."

"Is not!"

"It is."

"Is not!"

"It's meat. Get over it." Huey snatched the book back, placing it on the table behind him and ticking of "banned" items with his fingers. "So no midnight sushi runs, no crab Thursdays, no shrimp or clams or catfish buffets-"

"This _sucks_!"

"Oh, and soft cheese?" He snorted. "Your love affair with that is all but over."

"Wait, I can't have _cheese_?" Jazmine's jaw dropped. "Even you eat cheese!"

"Well, you can't."

"Fine." Jazmine folded her arms over her chest, her glare intensifying. "Anything else?"

Huey's own eyes narrowed towards her. "Yes, as a matter of fact." He folded his own arms over his chest. "No diet soda. The artificial sweetener's bad for you."

"Alright."

"No caffeine."

Jazmine's eyes widened. "But-"

"No. Caffeine."

"But-"

"No means no!"

"Oh, come _on_-"

"Or hot dogs."

Jazmine blinked. "Well, Huey." Her voice was flat. "Now that you've basically taken every joy in my life, do you have anything _else _to add?"

Huey looked like he was trying not to laugh which was almost _never _good; he was the type to only laugh if it was at another's expense.

"No chocolate."

Jazmine pressed her lips together and clenched her fists. Her eyes were narrowed into tiny slits. Huey, who was obviously enjoying this, smirked.

"Yes?"

She breathed heavily. "I am really close to punching you in the face right now."

Huey sucked his teeth. "As if you could."

He was right, of course. Jazmine shook her head and walked out of the kitchen. She turned around, wiggling her finger at him.

"It's okay." Her voice was eerily calm. Huey raised an eyebrow. "Mmhmm. It's okay. Yup." She ran up the stairs and Huey couldn't help but go to the bottom step, trying to figure out what she was up to.

"Jazmine?" His eyes narrowed. "What are you planning?"

Jazmine mumbled something under her breath. A couple seconds later she appeared at the top of the steps, wearing a pair of jeans and a coat. She flipped her ponytail out of the collar of it and jogged down the steps, a pair of flats in her hand. She smirked at him.

"You think you're smart, with your vegetables and rice and rabbit food? Uh huh." She put her shoes on, walking towards the front door. "I got something for you..."

Huey followed her. "Where do you think you're going?"

"Where am I going?" Jazmine looked over her shoulder at him, her hand on the doorknob. "I'm going to get some meat to compensate for what you threw out! You must be crazy," She mumbled, yanking the front door open. "Thinking I'm gonna live off lettuce-"

"Oh, you're going to _drive _to the store and buy some?" Huey gave her a smug look, jingling a set of keys in his hand. "I'm way ahead of you. Face it Jazmine, you're _not _going to get any meat."

"That's where you're wrong!" Jazmine shouted. Then, to Huey's surprise, she was running across the street towards _his _house, throwing open his front door and dashing inside. He blinked.

"Oh _hell _no!" He ran after her, reaching the open front door and busting in. Riley, who was on the couch in his boxers, eating a bowl of Captain Crunch and watching TV, looked at him.

"What y'all niggas doin?"

Huey ignored him, rushing into the kitchen. Sure enough, Jazmine was in the refrigerator, cackling to herself. Huey cleared his throat and Jazmine lifted her head, glaring at him.

"Are you seriously _robbing _us of our meat supply?" Huey asked, his tone filled with disbelief. "It's _not _that serious!"

"Oh." Jazmine closed the refrigerator door, holding a five pound ham in her arms. "It's _that _serious."

Huey's eyes narrowed. "Jazmine." He took a step towards her. "Drop the ham."

"No!" She stuck out her tongue. "Make me!"

Huey jumped for her and she ran around the island in the middle of the kitchen, clutching the ham to her chest. "Jazmine!" Huey snapped, glaring at her. "Give me the damn ham!"

"No! It's _honey smoked_!" She ran around the island again when Huey raced towards her. "Should've thought about it before you went up in my refrigerator and threw away everything!"

"It's for the baby's own good!"

"The baby needs protein!"

"You can get protein from lots of things that aren't meat!" Huey bellowed as Jazmine suddenly ducked down, out of view. Huey jumped on the opposite side of the island but she wasn't there. He looked around, spotting her by the sink. The ham was tucked under one arm, the other holding something over the drain. Huey's eyes narrowed even more.

"Jazmine." His voice was hard. "Don't you _dare _destroy my tofu!"

"Oh, like you destroyed my meat?" Jazmine challenged, grinning. Her fingers dangled the tofu casually over the dark hole in the center of the sink. "Apologize."

"No!"

"Huey Percy Freeman." Jazmine's eyes narrowed as well. Huey's fists clenched. "Apologize!"

"You hand over that tofu right this instant!" Huey shouted.

"No!"

"If I have to come over there-"

"What are you going to do about it?" Jazmine taunted. One by one, she lifted a finger off the tofu. Huey suddenly charged forward, but Jazmine quickly dropped it into the drain, flipping the switch on the wall so that the garbage disposal roared to life.

"Damn it!" Huey yelled, flipping the switch off and grabbing hold of the ham under Jazmine's arm.

"Give me that!" He yelled.

"No!" Jazmine tugged back, groaning. "I...want...THE DAMN HAM!"

"What the _hell _is going on down here?" Grandad yelled, stepping into the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway, staring at his grandson and his grandson's girlfriend as they both played tug of war with a _ham_.

"You'll never stop me!" Jazmine shouted. Surprisingly, she managed to hang on. "Your meatless ways cannot tame my need for animal products!"

"You've let the meat industry turn you into another pawn of the system!" Huey shot back, not letting go as well. "Our baby is _not _going to fall into the same trap!"

"I hate you!"

"I don't need you to like me! Now hand over the ham!"

"MY HAM!"

"HEY!" Grandad yelled, causing them both to spin towards the door; Jazmine was so surprised that Huey managed to yank the ham away from her.

"Yes!"

"What?" Jazmine's eyes widened as Huey grinned in triumph, shaking his head at her. "NO!" He held it out of her reach as she tried to get it from him; a pretty impossible thing to do since he was almost six foot three.

"Have y'all lost yo minds?" Grandad yelled, pointing towards the ham. "And is that _my ham_?"

"But Mr. Freeman!" Jazmine whined, taking a giant stride forward and pointing towards Huey. "Huey went through my refrigerator and threw out all my food!"

"Not true, Grandad!" Huey yelled as she went to open his mouth. "I just threw out the meat and products that are harmful to a developing fetus! She's still got vegetables and-"

"That ain't food!" Jazmine snapped. Grandad stroked his chin.

"She does have a point, Huey." He shook his head. "Vegetables ain't food. Mmm mmm. That's a punishment!" He gave Huey a look. "Why you tryin to punish your little girlfriend, boy?"

"HA!" Jazmine pointed a finger in Huey's face. "Now go get me a bacon cheeseburger and some fried chicken!"

"You're _still _not going to eat meat!" Huey told her sternly. "Give it up, DuBois!"

"No!"

"Come on, _Elizabeth_."

"Never gonna happen, _Percy_."

"Who the hell are Elizabeth and Percy?" Grandad asked, scratching his head. Huey rolled his eyes.

"It's my middle name, Grandad!"

"What, Elizabeth?"

"No! The other one!" Huey threw up his hands. "Grandad, how do you not remember my middle name?"

"Boy, I have better things to remember than yo lame ass middle name. Shoot." He shook his head. "I know y'all best remember not to tear my house up! I'll knock all y'all out! Huey and Jazmine, Elizabeth and Percy...hell, I'll throw Bonnie and Clyde in there if y'all don't shut the hell up and put my damn ham back!"

"Fine." Huey carried the ham to the refrigerator, rolling his eyes. Jazmine glared at him and spun on her heel, stomping out the kitchen. She passed by Riley, who was sitting on the couch still, his cheeks filled with cereal.

"Watchu mad bout', Mariah?"

Jazmine shot him a glare that made him cringe. "Damn!" He swallowed, grinning. "You kno on tha real tho? You look kinda sexy when you mad..."

"Ugh!" Jazmine threw open the front door, stalking back across the street. She reached her front door and saw Huey coming after her. She stomped inside and went to slam the door shut but he stuck his foot in the way, pushing the door open with one hand.

"Jazmine, come on." He gave her a look. "You know I'm not doing it on purpose."

Jazmine folded her arms over her chest, glaring at him. He glared back.

"Besides, I should be the one who's mad," He pointed out. "I've gotta buy more tofu now."

"So? I have to buy more everything now!"

The two both stood there, their angry stares showing no sign of letting up.

Then, the next thing either one of them knew, they were in each other's arms, kissing.

Okay, so many there _was _an advantage to arguing. It led to making up.

"I still hate you," Jazmine mumbled against his lips. He smirked.

"If this is what you do when you hate me, I'd hate to see how you act when you love me."

"Shut up." Jazmine poked him in the chest turning on her heel and heading up the stairs. "You still owe me a damn ham!"

"Oh, yeah?" Huey went to the bottom of the landing and folded his arms over his chest, glaring towards the hallway. "And what do I get in return?"

He heard footsteps and then Jazmine popped up at the top of the stairs, back in her boxers and t shirt. Instead of her ponytail, her hair was loose and falling over her shoulders. She reached down to the hem of her t shirt and lifted it, pulling it over her head. Huey's eyebrows raised.

"I don't know," She said casually, dropping it to the floor and shrugging lightly, smirking. "But I'm sure we can figure something out." She flashed him a grin and turned on her heel, walking out of sight. Huey shook his head.

Females sure did know how to bring a man to their knees.

No. _No. _He was not going to give in to Jazmine's feminine wills! After a few seconds, however, he muttered a curse under his breath, running up the stairs.

Who was he kidding? Sure he was an uncompromising, relentless, unwavering person of strong rooted values.

But shit. He _was, _over everything else, a man.

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You'd think those freaks would KNOW BETTER by now. Tsk tsk...

Um, thanks for reading! Review, please! :begs you in sad, croaky, bronchitis ridden voice: PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

-Kelsey


	10. Christmas? No? Kinda?

Whoa! Update! Haha. Alright, I'm going to see if I can get everyone who reviewed since last time (because I _will_ forget someone and I am not trying to get beat up). Let's see...thank you to MzMinni3, AyisienneCat17, MizzC, KrisD.723, and Goku's Daughter for the reviews! And if you did review and I forgot to mention you, then thanks to you as well and my apologies.

Okay...**BIG. FAT. WARNING. **The following chapter consists of strong religious opinions of one of the characters (like you really have to guess who). None of what is written is of the author's personal opinion in any way, and any of it that is is purely coincidental. Don't be offended. I mean it. I don't want no messages in my inbox cussing me out for dissing whoever, or none of that. I love everyone. **Don't play me. **(It may seem like I'm going over the top, but there's always those few...)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

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Christmas? No? Kinda?

_Ding. Dong._

It was a quiet morning in the Freeman house; it was a rarity that was greatly appreciated by the eldest grandson. So, when the doorbell began to persistently ring at seven that morning, it naturally put him in a bad mood. It wasn't as if it was a hard thing to do.

He stomped down the stairs, heading to the front door and pulling it open, yawning sleepily. Little did he know he was about to get a rude awakening.

"JESUS LOVES ME THIS I KNOW! FOR THE BIBLE TELLS ME SO!"

"What the hell?" Huey jumped about a foot backwards, his eyes wide. "What is this?"

"Good morning, my fellow brother in Christ!" A cheery, overly smiley man said, waving. The two girls that were with him continued to belt their little song at the top of their lungs, another woman clutching a bible to her chest. _A bible._

Whoa. It was time to go back to bed.

"Hello." Huey's face fell flat. "Goodbye."

_Slam._

He dusted his hands off and started for the stairs again, cringing when the doorbell rang again. He groaned, turning back around and opening it again.

"Now, just hold on a cotton pickin second, my friend!" The man's crinkly blue eyes lit up with an excitement that must not have been contagious because Huey was _not _feeling it. "We're here to spread the good news about Jesus Christ this Christmas season!"

"I have good news to spread, too." Huey said, his tone so serious the sarcasm was almost undetectable. "But I don't go around knocking on people's doors at seven in the morning."

"But, son." He rested his hand against the doorframe. "God can't _wait_."

Huey raised an eyebrow. "But don't people always say how loving and _patient _and kind he is?"

The man blinked, turning back to the woman, who shrugged. The two girls kept singing their _damn song_, which was giving him a headache. "Um…" He turned back to Huey. "So, you're already a follower of Christ?"

"No." Huey put his hand on the back of the door again, swinging it forward. "_Goodbye_-"

"Then please!" The man ever-so-sneakily blocked the corner of the door with his snow covered boot, giving Huey a smile. "Let us share his story."

Huey sighed, folding his arms over his chest. "Alright. Whatever."

The family looked ecstatic. "OH HOLY NIGHT-"

"Just _no more singing_!" Huey snapped. The man shook his head, waving his arms.

"Oh, no. No! Of course not." He took the bible from his wife's gloved hands, holding it out. "Son, everything you need to know is in this book. The _bible_." He spoke slowly and clearly, as if talking to a baby. Huey resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "You see, when God created man, they turned into sinful, spiteful, malicious people. They were doomed for an eternity in hell. There was no hope. But God, _God_, loved the world so much that he gave up his only begotten son, Jesus Christ, so that he could die on the cross and save us from our sins. And on the third day, he rose up from the dead and ascended to heaven. Thanks to his sacrifice, those who know God should not perish, but have everlasting-"

"Okay, wait wait wait." Huey held up a hand. "I'm sorry, but _really_? _Seriously_?" He sighed. "Alright, let me just explain to you everything wrong about what you just said." He held up a hand, ticking off reasons with his fingers. "One, you're telling the wrong damn story. It's Christmas, not Easter. Christmas is supposed to be about baby Jesus, not _Zombie _Jesus."

"Now wait just one minute-"

"Secondly," Huey went on, talking as if hadn't even spoken. "Christmas is a Pagan holiday. You know, Pagan? Those people who Christians are sooo intolerant of? Yeah, they observed their own holidays on December twenty-fifth, such as the feast of the Son of Isis."

"The feast of…who?"

"The Goddess of Nature," Huey clarified. "So, if Christians have such a problem with Pagans and their beliefs, stop taking their damn holidays. On _another _note," He suddenly said, giving the dad a glare. "If you really want to get people excited about your God, I'd recommend not contradicting yourself in your own statements."

"How did-"

"If God sent his son to die for people's sins and they're still sinning all over the place and cutting up, then why the hell did his let his son die in the first place? Seems like a futile action on his part, doesn't it?"

"Actually-"

"In _fact_," Huey continued. "God, excuse me, must have lost his mind. Because there's _no way_ I'd sacrifice my own child for some sinning, crazy ass people who _he created_. If God knows what's going to happen then there is not free will! Yeah, you can talk me to death about how he gives us choices, but he knows how it's going to end. That means he knows who's going to hell, who's going to heaven, who's going to wherever else they have to go…it doesn't seem like he wants too many people to succeed if he has people set up for failure. It doesn't make him seem loving to me. It makes him seem like he's a sadist with underlying masochist tendencies. That is, if you believe in that sort of thing," He finished with a shrug.

The family stared at him with dumbfounded expressions. The little girls' mouths were hanging open, but no sound was coming out. That was pretty good for him; anymore singing and he just might have been spending December twenty-fifth in a prison cell.

"So…" The dad seemed to be fighting for the right words. "Your views on Christianity-"

"My views on _religion_ is that it is a manmade concept that was created to give people a false sense of security pertaining to the unknowable as well as to control the masses," He said in a bored tone. "You can keep your religion if it makes you happy. It doesn't change the fact that no matter who you are, you will eventually die, your body will go in a hole in the ground, and the generations that come after you won't even know of your existence." He put on a smile when their jaws all dropped. "Nice chat. Merry Christmas!"

He slammed the door, rolling his eyes and once again starting for the stairs. When the doorbell rang again he let out a loud groan, once again stomping to the door and flinging it open.

"GET THE HELL OFF MY DOORSTEP-oh." He took a step back, giving Jazmine, who was blinking at him with wide eyes, an apologetic look. "Sorry."

She gave him a look, jabbing her thumb behind her. "Huey Freeman." She shook her head. "Why did I pass a group of Christmas carolers coming from your house, crying?"

He shrugged. "Maybe they were…overcome with the presence of the lord?"

"You're not funny." She folded her arms over her chest. "We've _talked _about this. Religion is a personal decision. You can't just go around, crushing people's spirits!"

He sucked his teeth. "And they shouldn't be going around door-to-door at seven in the morning to sing in tone deaf voices and tell me about their little white Jesus, but they do." He gave her a look. "Did you really think I _wouldn't _say something?"

She sighed, shaking her head. "For some unknown reason, yes. I did." She wiggled her car keys in front of his face, grinning. "Now that you've finished running innocent people's lives, go get dressed." When his eyebrows rose in confusion she gave him a look. "Hello? Christmas shopping?"

He blinked.

_Slam._

"Oh, come on!" Jazmine knocked from the opposite side of the door. Huey smirked. "You're not funny!"

Huey opened the door again. "And you're not using your brain. Jazmine, when have I ever cared about Christmas?"

She tapped her finger against her chin, thinking. "Well, there was that time-"

"I was making a play about black Jesus, that does _not _count." He rolled his eyes. Jazmine pouted.

"I don't want to go by myself."

"Then go with Cindy!"

"She's not awake."

"Well pretend I'm not awake, either! Wait." He gave her a look. "Why are _you _up so early?"

Jazmine grinned, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "I feel _great_!" She chirped brightly. "No dizziness, no overwhelming urge to throw up, no fatigue. I feel like I could run a marathon! Or," She added as an afterthought. "Battle last minute Christmas shoppers." She clasped her hands together, giving him a pleading look. "Please? _Please_?"

Huey sighed. She blinked, her lower lip jutting out. He rolled his eyes.

"_Fine_." He glared down at her. "But I am _not _buying any gifts, I will not _accept _any gifts, and if any of those fat Santa suit wearing people, or any more carolers, or whoever else wants to try and talk me to death about the true meaning of Christmas, come anywhere near me? They're getting a foot broken off in their merry little asses."

Jazmine's head tilted to the side. "You…really hate the holidays, don't you?" She shook her head, finally stepping inside the house and peeling off her gloves. Huey shut the door behind her. "What are you going to do when we have to celebrate it?"

He gave her a befuddled look. "What?"

"When we have to celebrate Christmas?" Jazmine gestured to her still flat stomach. "We can't just deprive our baby from Christmas!"

"Um, yeah, we can." Huey was looking at her as if she was nuts. "And that's what we're going to do."

Jazmine's eyes narrowed. "Um, no we're not."

"Yeah. We are."

"Says who?" Jazmine looked angry. It was a rare expression. "Huey! I understand you're a religion hating Scrooge, but Christmas has gotten to the point where it's celebrated to some without religious connotation! We can't just _not _celebrate Christmas."

"Why not?" He pointed from her to him. "We "not celebrate Christmas" every year!"

"Correction; _you _don't celebrate Christmas." Jazmine snorted. "We go separate places for Christmas! You sit around and hate the world more than usual, and I go exchange gifts and sing Christmasey songs and eat Christmasey food and watch Christmasey TV specials! I go to church!"

Huey gave her a horrified look. "You _do _that?"

"I'm CATHOLIC! Of course I do that!" She yelled. "What did you think I did, drank a few beers and watched Melrose Place?"

"No, but I didn't know you actually _cared _about that kind of thing!" Huey shot back. "You've never said anything about it before!"

"Because telling you that you have different views is like asking to be set on fire and thrown into a river with weights tied to your ankles!" Jazmine rolled her eyes. "Besides, I thought it was implied! We've talked about it before!"

"Really?"

"_Yes_!"

Huey scratched his chin. "Was it one of those times I was going "Uh huh" and "Mmm hmm" a lot?"

Jazmine gave him a wary look. "Maybe. Yes."

"Oh." He shrugged casually. "I wasn't paying any attention."

Jazmine's eyes widened, then narrowed.

"Well, you pay attention to this, Huey Freeman." She poked a finger in his chest, glaring at him with flashing eyes. "I am a Christian. And our baby's going to be one, too."

Uh oh.

"WHOA." Huey took a step back, shaking his head. "You must have lost your mind! It's going to be an intelligent, freethinking individual who, if they so choose, can find their own religion!"

"Oh, so religious people aren't intelligent?"

"If they put all their faith into a man written book full of contradictions and a Jewish undead prophet who ascended to some imaginary place where he always watches us, then yes!"

"So you think _I'm _stupid?!"

"If the shoe fits!"

Jazmine's jaw dropped. Huey glared at her. Her eyes hardened.

And then, her face crumpled, her green eyes began to glisten, and she was crying.

"Y-you-" Her fists were clenched at her sides and her eyes were squeezed shut, the tears streaming down her face. "You think I'm _s-STUPID!_"

Oh, damn.

Little did Jazmine know, there were many, many things that she did that did not bother him like they would most. Crying, unfortunately, was not one of them. He couldn't _stand _it when she cried. It was like…well it just made him feel…_bad_. If she cried hard enough she could probably get him to vandalize the Sistine Chapel. It was that serious. He'd do practically _anything _to get her to stop.

But really? Teaching their child…_Christianity_? And Catholicism was possibly the most insane branch of all of them! How come someone as smart as Jazmine be so convinced that this stuff was _true_?!

"Okay, how about this." He sighed, massaging his temples. "We teach them Christianity. But if we do, we've got to teach them the other ones."

Jazmine hiccupped.

"I'm talking Judaism, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism-"

She blinked.

"-Confucianism, Taosim, Shinto, Historical Polytheism, Deism, Neopagan religions-"

"Um…"

"Nigerian Isoko mythology, Kenyan Masai mythology-"

"That…sounds like a lot of work," Jazmine sniffed, wiping her eyes and letting out another tiny hiccup. Huey shrugged.

"You have to be fair."

Jazmine swallowed, sighing. "Or, we could just leave it up to them to decide…" She sounded reluctant. Huey nodded vigorously.

"That works."

Jazmine sighed again, looking dejected. "Fine." She turned on her heel, heading for the door. "Well, I'll see you later."

He raised an eyebrow. "Where are you going?"

"Christmas shopping."

"By yourself?"

"_Yes, _by myself!" Jazmine snapped, glaring at him over her shoulder through her tears. "Or am I too stupid to do that?"

Ugh. Her and her sensitiveness.

"You're not stupid, okay?" He sighed. "I'm…_sorry_."

He hated that word.

She glared at him. "You're not. Because your opinion is still the same for everyone else who believes those things. So if you think they're stupid then you think _I'm _stupid. And I'm not so sure that I appreciate being seen as incompetent."

"If you were stupid," Huey said, rolling his eyes. "Then you never would have had enough sense to say what you just did. I wouldn't be with you. I would have _definitely _ran for California by now."

Jazmine folded her arms over her chest. "I'm still mad at you."

Huey had to restrain from facepalming himself. It was obvious that there was only one way he could make it up to her. Or at least make her forget that she was mad at him.

"_Fine_." He threw up his hands. "We'll start…celebrating Christmas." He couldn't believe he was saying that. Jazmine's face instantly lit up, a huge grin spreading across her face.

"Huey!" She ran over, throwing her arms around him and hugging him so tightly he momentarily forgot how to breathe. "Oh, Huey! You're the best!"

"Well-"

"Oh, we've got to hurry up, then!" She grabbed his hand, dragging her stunned boyfriend behind her towards the front door. "We've got to get gifts for my parents, Mr. Freeman, Riley, Cindy and Caesar…ooh! And then we can-"

"I meant _next _Christmas, not this Christmas!" Huey managed. "Can I just get some time to come to terms with the fact that I'm going to be forced to celebrate a waste of a holiday for the rest of my life starting next year?"

"Nope! You need practice." She smiled sweetly at him. "You have to learn about Christmas tree shopping, and gift giving, and spreading love and good cheer to others!"

He pointed to his face. "Do I look like I give a shit about good cheer and love?"

She shrugged. "Nope. But you'd better learn how to." She grabbed his arm again, pulling him towards the front door. "Now c'mon!"

"Jazmine!" Huey wrestled away from her, which was surprisingly difficult. He thought pregnant women were supposed to be more fragile, not _stronger_! "Can I at least get dressed?!"

Jazmine gave him a glance over, taking in his white t shirt and blue and green plaid pajama pants. She shrugged, shaking her head.

"Nope." She reached into the hall closet, tossing his coat at him. "You look fine."

"I'm in my pajamas!"

"Oh, no one's going to pay attention." She waved her hand. "Now, let's go! I'm so excited!"

He sighed, grudgingly following her to the door. This _sucked_.

"And for the record," He pointed out as they got to the door and he held it open for her. "I am _not _going to church. I don't care how many times you ask me. I don't care if you hold me at gunpoint. I'm not going-" he pointed to her stomach. "_It's _not going, and…no. Just, no."

She frowned. "Not even for Christmas?"

"No!"

Her face took on a look that meant she was considering possibilities. "Not even…a little bit of church?"

Huey stomped out the door.

"No? Yes?" Her forehead scrunched up. "Maybe?"

"No!"

"Kinda?"

"No!"

"Sometimes?"

"Jazmine, get in the damn car!"

"Oh, alright…"

* * *

Thanks for reading! I'm not sure how I feel about this one yet, but I hope YOU enjoyed it. That's what mainly matters anyways.

-Kelsey


	11. Groupie Therapy

I was sitting around and went "Wow, I guess I should update my other story, huh?" So, voila! Now, thank you to Goku's Daughter, xXMissJanuary1996Xx, Leka10, and KrisD.723 for the reviews! I'm glad that it's gotten such a positive response. Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, this chapter will get the same.

Now, someone did mention that this has a plot, so it being considered a drabble would be pretty odd, I guess...I just consider it one because the chapters are typically shorter (I tend to have waaay long chapters in regular stories), and I _was_ going to do the chapters out of order...but I discovered I prefer it in order. So maybe it isn't a drabble series. Maybe it is. Heck if I know. Call it what you want. Hahaha. Then again, this chapter's a bit longer than the others...this is as probably as long as one will get in this story. :P

Anyways, I hope you enjoy Chapter...wait...eleven? Really? Oh, wow...

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Groupie Therapy

"Alright." The man positioned himself in his chair, giving everyone in the room a solemn look. "I am certain that you all know why you're here."

"Well." Huey leaned forward. "I understand why _I'm _here," He said in an obviously annoyed voice. "It's because Tom has lost his mind and is deluded into thinking I need counseling. _She_-" he pointed to Jazmine, who was sitting beside him. "Is here because this same crackpot Tom is convinced that he could give us counseling as a Christmas gift. Because "everyone needs counseling sometimes"." He made quotation marks with his fingers, rolling his eyes. "I only agreed to this because it's free. Now, them?" He pointed towards Caesar, Cindy, his _ex girlfriend_, Maya Johansen, and Ed Wuncler the third along withGin Rummy. "I don't know _why _the hell they're here. I'm pretty sure I want to leave now, though."

"You know, I'm sensing a lot of anger." The therapist crossed his legs, lacing his fingers together. "Are you angry, sir?"

"Excuse me!" Cindy waved her hand in the air, wiggling her fingers. "Will there be free snacks?"

"You _would _be the one to ask that, wouldn't you?" Maya said, rolling her eyes. "Damn."

Jazmine crossed her arms over her chest, glowering at the girl. The therapist cleared his throat.

"Well, let me just say-"

"Now hold up, good man. Let me just say one thing." Ed the third straightened in his chair, smiling over at Maya. "Girl, you look fine. Lemme holla at that."

Maya rolled her eyes, tossing her hair.

"Oh, so you gotta be like that? You think you too _good _for the white brothas? I see how you do! That is _fucked_! _Up_!"

"So, you mad?" Caesar smirked. The therapist leaned forward, handing a stack of construction paper to Cindy, who was sitting on his left.

"Now, we're going to do a little icebreaker exercise to warm up to one another," He said. Cindy took a sheet of paper, passing the stack to Caesar, who did the same. "That way we can be more comfortable around each other."

"But…we already all know each other." Jazmine's eyes flickered to Maya and her nose wrinkled in disdain. "Sadly."

Maya took a sheet of paper and handed the stack to Huey, who rolled his eyes and took one as well. He was so busy handing the rest to Jazmine that he didn't notice Maya sticking out her tongue towards the mulatto. Jazmine glowered at her, practically knocking Ed the third out his chair by how hard she shoved the paper into his chest.

"Now." The therapist cleared his throat while Gin Rummy passed him the rest of the paper. "You are all here because you're having relationship problems."

Huey gave him a funny look. "Actually…our relationship is fine."

"We just came since the snowstorm we had last night closed down everything else and we had coupons," Caesar said, pointing between him and Cindy.

"Man, I came to meet bitches," Ed said, shrugging. "I ain't got no bitch to worry bout! Nope! Got ninety-nine problems but a bitch ain't…wait, I don't got problems, either."

"Ed! Shut up!" Gin Rummy demanded, shaking his head. Maya crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her eyes.

"I'm here because it was court ordered."

"Court ordered?" Huey gave her a look. "What did you do _now_?"

"Nope!" She snapped her fingers shut. "Wasn't talking to you."

"Don't talk to him that way!" Jazmine snapped, giving her a dark look. Maya snorted.

"And what are you going to do if I _do_?" She shifted in her chair. "Looking like a damn whale…"

"You said I wasn't showing yet!" Jazmine wailed to Huey, already on the verge of tears. He smacked his forehead into his palm.

"Oh, my god. You're _not_." He sat up. "Can we _leave _now?"

"We haven't even started the exercise!" Ed shouted, making everyone glance at him in surprise. "Shoot, this fool bout to have us using crayons. I like crayons." When everyone's eyebrows lifted he smacked his lips. "The _fuck _ya'll lookin at?"

"Alright…" The therapist shook his head. "For our first activity, we're all going to write our names or preferred nickname, our favorite color, our deepest fear, and something we like about the person on our right. We're going to write something we don't quite agree with about the person on our left. Then, draw your favorite animal."

Huey groaned. "_Really_?"

"Aw, come on." Jazmine offered him a tiny smile. "Give it a chance."

"Jazmine, you give opera or chili cheese fries a chance. You don't give this shit a chance!"

"Since you seem to be so opinionated, why don't you start?" The therapist asked. Huey glared at him.

"How about I _don't_."

"Huey…" Jazmine mumbled in her warning tone. "Rude."

He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Fine."

"Pussy whipped," Maya mumbled under her breath. Cindy made a face.

"Don't you have a hole to go crawl back into?" She glared. "I've never met someone so incapable of being nice in my life."

Maya gave her a cold look. "I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter."

"Everyone, take three crayons and then pass the jar around," The therapist said, handing the jar to Gin Rummy first. He took his pick and passed it around. For the next few minutes it was surprisingly silent, minus the sounds of scribbling and crayon against paper. After five minutes, the therapist cleared his throat.

"All right…you first." He nodded towards the young revolutionary. Huey sighed.

"My name is Huey," He said, giving everyone a dangerous look. "I don't have a nickname. I don't _want _a nickname. It's Huey. You can call me another name if you want me to break my foot off in your ass."

Maya snorted. "Didn't have a problem with me giving you a nickname when we was putting it-"

Huey cleared his throat loudly. Everyone fell silent.

"Dooo-owwwwwwn," She finished, drawing out the word. She closed her mouth, flashing a mock grin. Jazmine looked murderous.

"Right," He continued. "My favorite color is black. I have no fears-"

"Everyone has fears-" The therapist started, but Huey cut him off.

"Excuse me, is it therapist talk time?" He asked, shaking his head. "Didn't think so. I said I have no fears, so I don't. _Moving on_-" He glanced at Maya, who raised her eyebrows. "I like…her incapability of staying out of trouble with the law."

Everyone snorted. She sucked her teeth. He chanced a glance towards Jazmine, who had her arms folded over her chest.

"And…I don't like her hair when it's straight. Because then she looks like a white girl. The last time I checked, she wasn't a white girl." He then sighed, holding up his paper. "And for my favorite animal I drew the endangered animal known as the Iberian Lynx, which is of course native to the Iberian Peninsula."

"Ooh." Everyone leaned forward.

"Wow, Huey." Caesar whistled. "I didn't know you could draw."

"Yeah, whatever."

"How about we hear from you next?" The therapist asked, pointing his pen towards Ed. He cleared his throat, nodding.

"Yeah, I gotchu, mane. Aiight, tha name's Ed. Some people like to call me big Ed, E.D., Eddy…I don't do little Ed. Shit, I ain't little." He winked towards Jazmine. "And when I say little, I mean ain't _none _of me little."

Jazmine swallowed, turning pink. Huey rolled his eyes.

"But yeah, my favorite color green. Cause it's da color of money, which I gotta lot of. Uh, I fear fat people."

"What?" Cindy threw up her hands. "You're afraid of _fat _people?"

"Hell. Yeah." Ed shook his head. "How could you _not _be? _Morbidly _obese? Dat means if da bitch topples over on me and can't get back up since, face it, they'd have to _roll _back to their feet, ima be dead! I don't know how men be into tha fat chicks, cuz I'd never let one of dem hoes ride me! Hell naw, gon be breakin my bed frame, breakin my neck, breakin my dick off and shit. Then what ima do when I'm bored? Sit around, lookin stupid an dickless wearing some damn halo from messin round wit a fat chick? NO. FAT CHICKS."

Maya hid her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking from how hard she was laughing. Gin Rummy shook his head, closing his eyes and sighing. Cindy and Caesar exchanged glances. The therapist nodded, looking slightly confused.

"O-okay. Please. Continue."

"Aiight." Ed glanced towards Jazmine, licking his lips. "What I like about her is how _fine _she look. I'd be all over that like-"

"Like I'm going to be all over you _breaking _your neck if you say one more word to her?" Huey snapped. Ed smacked his lips.

"You hatin ass…_anyway_." Ed turned to Gin Rummy. "I _hate _how this son of a biscuit forever makin me feel bad about myself! Shoot, he be bringin me down. I be cryin myself to sleep and shit…oh, speakin of dat!" He held up his paper. "I drew me a fine naked woman, cause humans are animals. And I _love _me sun naked women."

Caesar snorted. Gin Rummy smacked his palm against his forehead. Everyone else merely blinked.

"Can I go next?" Maya said abruptly, sitting up and stretching her hand to the ceiling. The therapist nodded. "Right. Well, my name's Maya. My best friend named Hiro Otomo calls me Maya Grace. He's the only one who can get away with that shit. Some of my friends call me My or May-May. Which I can't stand. It sounds so ghetto to me-"

"Yawn," Cindy said, covering her hand with her mouth and rolling her eyes.

"But like I was _saying_," Maya interrupted, ignoring the woman. "My favorite color is purple. I have a fear of clowns." Her eyes flickered towards Caesar. "I like that Caesar's funny. Well, when he's not trying so damn hard."

"Thank you!" He said cheerfully. Maya glanced towards Huey, frowning.

"I hate," She said, her voice rising a bit. "How Huey dropped me for that-"

"You'd better watch what you say before I drop _you_," Jazmine snapped, leaning over to glare at her. Maya laughed.

"Bitch, I would _destroy _you-"

"What did you draw?" Huey asked loudly, trying to change the subject. She sat back, flipping over her paper and rolling her eyes.

"I drew a peacock."

"_Ha_. Dis bitch said peacock." Ed elbowed Gin Rummy. The therapist sat up, pointing to Caesar.

"Why don't you go ahead?"

"Alright, that's what's up!" Caesar sat up cheerfully. "What's good? My name's Michael, but everyone calls me Caesar. I mean, you can call me Michael if you want me to think you're mad at me or something. My favorite color's red, and I fear republicans holding a majority in congress."

"HA," Huey let out, smirking.

Caesar glanced towards Cindy. "I love everything thing about my baby."

"Aw!" She threw her arms around him, kissing his cheek. Maya made a gagging sound.

"Aaand," He continued, trying not to _afraid _of Maya. "I don't like how Maya can't just accept that Hueydon'twantherassnomo, and move on."

"Nigga, what?"

"Nothing!"

"HA," Jazmine let out, grinning. "I like Caesar's introduction the best."

"No one asked you!" Maya ground out.

"Okay!" Caesar held up his paper. "I drew a manatee!"

Everyone burst out laughing. Caesar frowned, making a face.

"What?"

"Honey," Cindy said, trying to keep a straight face (and failing miserably). "That looks like a blob."

"Does not!" Caesar whined defensively, hugging his paper. As the laughter died down, the therapist pointed to Jazmine.

"Go ahead."

Jazmine grinned, sitting up. "Hi!" She chirped brightly. "My name's Jazmine. Some people call me Jazzy, others use Jazz. Once in awhile I get a Jazzy Fresh. It's…kind of weird."

The therapist nodded.

"My favorite color is fuschia-"

"Isn't that fancy for _pink_?" Maya let out. Jazmine glared at her.

"Noooo." She rolled her eyes. "_Fuschia _is much better. Duh."

Huey rolled his eyes.

"I fear heights. Oh, and spiders are nasty, too. And childbirth. And death-"

"Okay, you're a pansy. We _get _it." Maya sighed loudly. Jazmine chose to ignore her as she gazed up at Huey with sparkling eyes.

"I _love _Huey. Period."

"BAWWWW," Cindy, along with Caesar and Ed chorused. Gin Rummy made a disgusted face towards his friend.

"Ed! Get a hold of yourself!"

"Look, I can't help it!" He wiped a tear from his eye. "Their love is so beautiful!"

"Um…yeeeeeeeeahhhh," Huey said, shaking his head at the youngest Wuncler. Jazmine glanced at him as well, frowning.

"I don't _dislike _anything about him." She shrugged. "I don't dislike anything about anyone. Well, _almost _anyone." She narrowed her eyes towards Huey's ex.

"See, dat's why I fucks with Jazzy!" Ed nodded. "Yessir."

"And for my drawing…I drew a Panda Bear!" She yelled excitedly, thrusting her paper into the air. "See?"

Cindy squealed.

"Oh, that's so cute! I love Pandas!"

"Me, too!" Jazmine beamed. "Best of all, I made him _pink_!"

"Okay, Jazmine." Huey lightly pat her shoulder, looking as if he had a headache. "Let's let someone else go now-"

"_My _turn!" Cindy shouted, clearing her throat. "Okay, check it. My name's Cindy. People call me Fearsome-"

"Yeah, fearsome to look at," Maya muttered under her breath.

"Alright, ima pretend I didn't hear that." She went on. "My favorite color is royal blue. _Not _ordinary blue, but _royal _blue. Cause I ain't no cheap thrill."

"You tell em, baby!" Caesar yelled. She nodded.

"Damn right! Well, I fear Virgos and Pisces cause I ain't compatible with them since I'm a Gemini and all-"

"But _I'm _a Virgo!" Jazmine said in a hurt voice, her lower lip quivering. Cindy waved her hand.

"But I ain't tryna date you!"

"Oh! True!"

"But yeah." She looked at the therapist. "I like your…mustache?"

"Why, thank you, Cindy," He said, nodding and smiling.

She turned to Caesar, frowning. "And I'm sorry, baby, but I don't like your car."

His jaw dropped. "What?"

"I know!" She wailed, clasping her hands together. "But it's falling apart! It's embarrassing!"

"So don't ride in it!"

"Baby-"

"Why didn't you tell me _before_-"

"Alright, I didn't come here for a shitty soap opera!" Maya yelled, folding her arms over her chest. "Damn!"

"Okay, okay. Whatever!" Cindy held up her picture. "I drew a butterfly."

"Ain't that an insect?" Ed asked thoughtfully.

"Yes, and an insect is also considered an animal," Huey said, rolling his eyes. "Congratulations."

The therapist sighed, sitting up. "Alright, well, now that we've gotten that out of the way, let's move on-"

"Wait!" Gin Rummy waved his paper. "Ya'll skipped me!"

"Ah, of course!" The therapist gestured to him. "Go ahead."

Gin Rummy crossed his arms over his chest, frowning and looking at the floor. "Man, I don't even wanna go anymore."

"Oh, but please." The therapist offered him a smile. "I would love to hear what you have to say-"

"I said I don't _want _to anymore, old man-"

"Now-"

"I SAID I DON'T FUCKIN WANT TO, MOTHA FUCKA!" Gin Rummy screamed, pulling out a gun and shooting it into the air. Everyone screamed; Cindy and Caesar dived to the floor while Jazmine buried herself in Huey's arms. Maya merely lifted her eyebrows and Huey sighed, shaking his head. The therapist was covering his head with his clipboard. Ed was holding his backside.

"Um…excuse me, Mr. Therapist." He winced. "Can I please be excused? I…kinda shit myself."

"Oh, come _on_-" Huey started, but was cut off.

"Nah ah ah." The therapist shook his head. "We don't judge others in this room." He nodded. "Yes, Ed. You are excused."

"Word!" He slowly stood up, holding his pants with one hand and sliding out the room. Everyone exchanged grossed out looks and plaster rained down from the ceiling. Gin Rummy took his seat, putting away his gun and folding his hands neatly on his lap.

"Now, please." He smirked from behind the lenses of his glasses. "Continue."

The therapist sighed, glancing down at his notes. "Now, as I stated before, you are all here for relationship counseling-"

"_No_, we're _not_," Huey, Maya, Caesar, Cindy, and Gin Rummy practically yelled in unison. The therapist went on as if he didn't hear them.

"Now. Let's start with the outspoken Maya." He stared at her, along with everyone else. "Now. What makes you so angry?"

She glared at him. "People who ask me a whole bunch of questions for no reason."

"Well." He flipped through his chart. "It says here that you have been arrested many times for disorderly conduct. Tell me, why do you feel it's necessary to be so aggressive?"

"I'm sorry, am I _five_?"

"Probably?" Cindy snorted. The man glanced to her.

"How about we talk about this, how do you say…_conflict _between you and Ms. Johansen?"

"Um, yeah." Cindy rolled her baby blue eyes. "It's not nearly so much my conflict as it is she and Jazmine's. And Jazmine's my best friend. Shit, that's my ride or die chick. So, if this broad's gonna be mean to my best friend, of course I'm not going to like her."

"And-" The therapist spun around to look at Jazmine. "Why is there so much of a problem between you and her?"

Jazmine took a deep breath. "Well, it's like this." She cleared her throat. "See, we all went to high school with each other…well, minus Ed and Gin Rummy." She glanced towards the cornroll wearing man who still had his arms crossed over his chest. "Anyways, Maya-had-a-crush-on-Huey-and-I-had-a-crush-on-Huey-so-we-ended-up-dating-and-she-got-all-mad-and-then-we-went-on-a-break-our-freshmen-year-of-college-and-he-had-sex-with-her-so-I-broke-up-with-him-and-then-they-dated-for-a-little-while-then-we-got-back-together-so-she-mad-but-I-can't-help-it-he-was-_my_-boyfriend-to-start-out-with-"

Huey groaned. "You just _had _to bring that up with her around."

"Oh, hold up!" Maya leaned forward, shaking her head. "First of all, how anyone could pick your frizzy haired, ignorant, simple minded-"

"Simple minded?!"

"Oh, so you deaf too, now?"

"Noooo," Huey said, using an arm to hold each girl back. "I'm going to need for you both to _be adults about the situation_-"

"Easy for you to say!" Cindy cut in, narrowing her eyes at him. "You the one who started all this! Ain't nobody told you to sleep with her!"

"And who asked for your half-assed opinion? You don't even _know_-"

"Oh, my god. Okay, lemme tell you what happened." Cindy sat up, waving her hand towards the bewildered therapist. "So they were going to college in two different states at the time, right? It was before Jazmine transferred-"

"Cindy, shut _up_-"

"So they decide to go on a break since the distance was too much for them," She continued, ignoring Huey. "So then, this fool gon sleep with this easy thing over here-"

"Ex_cuse _you-"

"-and Jazmine had to hear about it from said easy thing-"

"Bitch-"

"-over twitter!"

"I was going to tell her myself!" Huey snapped, glaring at both Cindy and Maya. "Then _she _went online talking about it-"

"So, then," Cindy continued. "Jazmine broke up with him. I guess he was feeling like a sorry ass bitch then, cause he was being all desperate and shit-"

"I was _not _desperate." Huey lifted his chin. "We simply devoted a lot of time to talking out the situation and deciding on the best course of action in a _mature _manner. Which was-"

"For her to forgive his sorry ass," Cindy finished. "And now she's having his baby. And Maya's probably mad cause there's _no way_ she's getting a hold of him now-"

"You sure do know how to run your damn mouth," Maya snapped, glaring. "I'm really about to go over there and shut it for you. Permanently."

"See?" Cindy pointed to the livid woman, staring at the therapist. Caesar was shaking his head. "Tell her that's why her ass on probation now! Being all aggressive and angry all the time and shit."

The therapist shook his head, folding his hands and sighing. "It seems as if you've all forgotten how this affects the person in the center of the conflict," He said in a calm tone. Cindy blinked.

"Who? Huey's ass?"

Huey glared. "I don't really give a damn what you think."

The therapist tried again. "I meant-"

"What, _that _harlot?" Cindy pointed to Maya. Maya made a face.

"Point as me again so I can break your finger off."

Cindy shrugged, flicking her middle finger up. "Whoops."

Maya let out an angry groan, jumping out of her seat. Cindy rose up as the woman tackled the blonde, causing them both to fall over the chair and hit the floor with a loud crash. Gin Rummy stood up, whipping his gun out again.

"Aye! Calm down!" He yelled, shooting into the air again. Caesar jumped up to try and pry the girls apart while Huey shook his head, covering his face with his hands. The therapist suddenly blew on a whistle, making everyone freeze.

"You all forget to consider one another's feelings!" He yelled, causing them all to blink. "You should all know by now that with every word, every action, there is a reaction." He gestured towards Jazmine. "Exhibit A."

Everyone turned towards her, their eyes widening. She was sitting in her chair with her fists clenched in her lap, crying so hard that she couldn't even make a sound. Huey groaned, sighing heavily and closing his eyes.

"Oh, come on, Jazmine." He hugged her, shaking his head. "You can't let what these…_morons_ say get to you."

"I-wanna-go-HOOOOOOOME!" She sobbed, big fat tears rolling down her face. Huey winced. Cindy frowned, looking ready to cry herself.

"Don't cry, babydoll!" She yelled, climbing off the floor and running over to her best friend. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to make you cry!"

"Damn. This sucks." Caesar shook his head. Even Maya looked like she felt a tad bit guilty. The therapist stared at Jazmine with a softer expression than he'd given the others.

"Now," He asked quietly as she sat up, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. "Why are you crying, Jazmine?"

She sniffed, trying to hold back more tears. "I don't like fighting. I mean," She went on, her voice wet. "I know that everyone has to fight sometimes, because a-arguing is healthy. B-but I don't like people saying m-mean things to each other for no reason!" She pointed at Cindy. "She's my b-best friend, but I don't like when she says mean stuff about h-him-" She pointed to Huey. "Because not only is he my b-boyfriend, but he's my best friend, too!" She took a deep breath. "And M-Maya might not be my f-favorite person, but she l-liked him too and no one can help that! She's not t-that bad-"

Maya frowned.

"And it's so dumb for everyone to be f-fighting because-because-" She started crying all over again, covering her face with her hands and resting her head on Huey's shoulder. The therapist nodded.

"Of everyone here today," He said calmly, pushing up his glasses. "She has been the only one willing to share her feelings. She has also went along willingly with the exercise and has not directly insulted anyone's character. I believe that she is like glue. She holds people together." He nodded towards her again. She was still crying. "She holds all of you together, whether you're willing to admit it or not."

Cindy bit her lip. Caesar looked thoughtful. Huey sighed and Maya stared at the floor. Even Gin Rummy looked like he felt bad.

"There will always be conflict in our lives," He went on. "It can't always be solved by being aggressive." He gestured to Maya. "You can't place the blame on others for the mistakes that have been made-" He nodded to Cindy. "And you can't expect to just be unwilling to talk about things more than once and for them to resolve." He glanced towards Huey. "You need to remember that we're all people, and that we're all different. You need to compromise." He shrugged, glancing at Jazmine. "You need to be the glue. You need to have a heart."

Everyone stared at each other. Maya rose to her feet, brushing herself off and looking at Cindy.

"I'm sorry," She said quietly, shuffling her feet. Cindy nodded, sniffing herself.

"Hug?"

"Like I'd really hug your-sorry." Maya winced, nodding. "Okay." Tearfully, the two girls embraced. Huey sighed, hugging Jazmine again.

"I'm sorry." He blinked. "I don't…quite know what I did, but whatever it was, I'm sorry."

She nodded, hugging him back. Maya walked up to the pair, shifting awkwardly. "Um…" She let her hand flop to her side. "I'm sorry. For being so…me."

He nodded. Jazmine hiccupped before sitting up and giving her a shaky smile.

"It's okay."

"I mean," She went on, sighing. "I guess I can see why he picked you. You are…" She gave her a glance over, her nose wrinkling. "Sweeter?"

Jazmine lifted her arms. "Hug?"

Maya grimaced, then nodded. As she hugged the mulatto she snorted, shaking her head. "I'm not much of a hugger."

"Everyone needs hugs sometimes." Jazmine let her go, poking Huey's side. "_Right_, Huey?"

"What? Um…" He glanced at her face. She nodded towards Maya. He sighed. "Do I have to?" When her eyes began to fill again he shook his hands. "Alright, alright! I'm doing it!" He stood up, taking a step forward and raising his arms as well. Maya slowly stepped forward to meet him, both of them hugging. Her eyes closed and she sighed.

"Oof!" Huey grunted; Maya had reached back and grabbed the hem of his boxers, tugging them up as hard as she could and giving him a wedgie. She let the waistband snap him in the back and walked away, cackling. He glowered at her, rubbing his back.

Being nice was overrated.

"Now." The therapist smiled. "I feel like we're finally getting some progress."

For a moment, the room was peaceful. Then, the door burst open and Ed strode back in, wiping his hands on a paper towel and looking satisfied.

"Whoo! Glad I got that out." He stopped at Jazmine's chair, raising his eyebrows. "Miss me?" He gestured to himself. "Because we missed you."

"We?" Jazmine asked. After thinking about it her nose wrinkled. "Ew-"

"What did I say?!" Huey yelled, clenching his fists and storming towards him. Ed let out a little shout, running behind the chairs and throwing his hands over his head, letting out a girly scream as Huey chased him down. Gin Rummy stood up, yelling and shooting his gun all over again. Caesar dived to the floor, accidentally tripping Maya.

"You moron!" She yelled. Cindy glared at her.

"Don't talk to my boyfriend that way!" She screamed, grabbing Maya's shirt and dragging her towards her. The two of the fell on the floor again. Jazmine sighed, rolling her eyes and looking to the therapist, who looked ready to pass out. He glanced to her.

"Would you like some tea?" She asked politely. He hesitated, then nodded.

"Yes, actually." He stood up, walking over to her chair and helping her up. "Some tea would be lovely."

With that, the two of them walked out, ignoring the all out brawl that continued behind them.

* * *

Thanks for reading (as usual!). Feel free to NOT ignore the review button!

-Kelsey


	12. All About the Benjamins

So, I was going to wait until tomorrow to put this up but hey, why not? I'm on my way out the house though, so let's keep this short.

THANK YOU to Leka10 and Goku's Daughter for the reviews! They made my day. I mean it. Today was crap. Anyways, this chapter isn't all that humorous because what did I say before? Right. Pregnancy=not always funny. Unless you, you know, enjoy laughing at other's pain (okay, it's fun to do SOMETIMES, but honestly). This chapter involved a lot of my least favorite subject and I hated it, but it was necessary. If you care THAT much about how accurate the numbers are then keep in mind...they were done by an ENGLISH major. Enough said.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

All About The Benjamins

"Alright." Huey gave her a serious look from across the kitchen table. "We've put this off for too long."

Jazmine whimpered, burying her head in her arms and flopping dramatically on the table. He rolled his eyes.

"Oh, come on. This is going to be cake for you. You're even better at math than _I _am, and that's saying something."

"I don't wanna," She mumbled. He sighed.

"Jazmine, come _on_."

"No."

"Jazmine!"

"_What_?"

"Look." He set down the calculator. "The only way we're going to be able to be realistic about this entire thing, the _only _way we can make any sort of plan so that we don't end up in the red, is to factor in things. And one of the big things is our finances. Obviously."

"I know, I _know_." She lifted her head. "But it's not going to be pretty."

"It's _money _we're dealing with. Unless you're a middle aged white man then the situation's never pretty." He stared at her, shaking his head. "What am I going to do with you?"

"Get me a cherry slushie?" She asked brightly, sitting up. He eyed her before sighing heavily. Her love for slushies could be a nuisance sometimes.

"Maybe after we're done-"

"With pickles?"

"and-_what_?" His nose wrinkled. "Seriously?!"

Jazmine made a face. "It doesn't sound tasty to you?"

"The artificial flavorings, unhealthy amounts of sweetening, and false coloring are bad enough on its own. Pickles…they just don't go together."

"Oh!" She snapped her fingers. "And olives." She lifted her eyes to the ceiling, a thoughtful expression on her face. "Maybe I can mix graham crackers with it, too…"

He tried to keep the look of disgust off his face. Pregnant women. "Okay…"

"Ooh! And-"

"Can we just _do _this first?" He asked, trying not to sound too impatient. It was a bit easier to breathe now that they were back on Chicago and everyone wasn't breathing down their necks or poking their heads in their business.

On the flip side, however, they were back to being on their own in this. School was starting in another week. And if his estimated calculations were correct, they didn't have enough money to their name to feed a _goldfish_. Jazmine sensed the urgency in his voice since she sat up with no more complaint, sighing herself and dragging over an average sized wicker basket that had all her paycheck stubs, bill payments, and credit card payments from the past year. She winced. "Give me the calculator."

Huey passed it over to her with no complaint. While he was naturally gifted in English and comprehended Science and History with ease, Math had never been his favorite. Sure, he was decent at it and got his fair share of A's, but who was he kidding? He'd only gotten through calculus in high school because Jazmine checked his homework. If it weren't for her helping him their sophomore year with college level statistics he would have been done for. Not to mention, she was so weird…she actually _liked _math. Who _liked _Math?!

She set the calculator in front of her, biting her lip and holding out her hand. "Now, give me yours."

He reached beside him, grabbing a manila folded which had his own paycheck stubs, bills, and receipts in it, handing it to her. While she tended to just clump all her stuff together he at least had enough sense to keep it organized and labeled. She laughed at him for it, but he was the one who had the last laugh whenever she couldn't find her cell phone bill and it turned out to somehow be in the vegetable crisper, or between couch cushions. She set it beside her, glancing inside of it before shutting it again and whipping out a mechanical pencil, flipping to a clean page in her notebook. She cracked her knuckles.

"Let's see." She reached through her basket, pulling out various stubs and receipts and punching various numbers into the calculator. "I make nine fifty an hour and work anywhere from four to six days each week, seven to nine hours each day which, for the sake of making this less difficult I will average to five days and to eight hours. That means I make seventy six dollars a day. Since I work full time and average out a minimum of forty hours a week I make around three hundred and eighty dollars. The typical month has four weeks, which means my net pay is fifteen hundred and twenty dollars. _However_, that's before taxes are removed and I claimed no exemptions on my federal tax forms, not to mention the taxes of social security, federal, state, and Medicare. Now, social security tax is withheld at 6.5 percent, while federal tax claims 15 percent, the state of Illinois has a flat tax of 3 percent, and Medicare takes out 1.45 percent."

Huey blinked. She continued plugging in numbers, unaware of the headache she was unleashing upon her significant other.

"So, that means with those taxes applied to a three hundred eighty dollar paycheck, the gross pay is two hundred eighty one dollars and thirty nine cents," She calculated. "Now, if there's fifty two weeks in a year and I got fifty two paychecks then that would make my salary for the past year somewhere around fourteen thousand, three hundred fifty dollars and eighty nine cents."

Huey opened his mouth, but before he could interject she pressed on.

"Of course, that's not including overtime, money received back from income tax returns, and income taxes themselves," She added. "Technically, since I'm finding my salary going backwards a year from my last paycheck, which was November twenty seventh, some of that was filed under the 2008 income tax, but whatever. _Now_," She went on, digging into the wicker basket. "There's the bills."

"Jazmine-" Huey started, but was once again cut off. Once she got started, she didn't stop.

"Then again, it would probably be better to calculate your salary, then our separate bills as well as the ones we pay mutually-"

"Jazmine."

"And money that goes into our savings accounts-"

"_Jazmine_."

She stopped, finallylooking up. "Yes?"

"Can you…" He sighed, not believing he had to say this. "Can you just hold on? Breathe, maybe? For just a moment?"

She nodded, putting down her pencil. "Um…okay." She gave him a look. "You know, _you _look like you could use a cheery slushie with pickles, olives, and graham crackers."

Huey made a face. "And you sound like you could use a dietician to tell you that eating that combination would be _absolutely disgusting_-"

"Would not!"

"Okay, look." He brought out a file of his own, opening the folder and flipping through it. "I knew you'd give me a migraine with all this math, so I went ahead and did my salary myself-"

"Did you go on the salary calculator using Google again?"

Huey looked defensive. "I'm not incompetent, Jazmine. I know simple math." When she continued to give him a knowing look her sighed, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, I did. I didn't have the patience for doing it by hand. Anyway, if we add your salary to mine then we wind up with a combined salary of around thirty one thousand, three hundred twenty three dollars, and ten cents."

Jazmine nodded, chewing on her eraser.

"Now," He continued, flipping through more papers. "Our rent is one thousand one hundred and fifty four dollars a month. The electricity per month is usually around forty dollars when you remember to cut the damn kitchen light off-"

"You're just _never _going to let that go, are you?"

"Um, no." He shook his head. "Since you just _love _that damn _Grey's Anatomy _and _House _so much, the cable bill was fifty dollars a month. The internet was forty dollars a month-"

"_Was_?" Jazmine tipped her head to the side. "When you say "was", you mean-"

"It _was _that much until I called the cable service, cussed them out for their inflating prices, threatened to take our services elsewhere, and got a cable and internet bundle package for fifty five dollars a month."

Jazmine looked impressed. "When did you do _that_?"

"I don't know…a good half a year ago?"

Jazmine glared at him. "Why didn't you tell me _then_? Don't you think that's something I should have been told?"

"I didn't really think about it!" He shot back. "You weren't complaining when you had more money to spend-"

"Oh, like I'm the only one who spends money-"

"_Anyways_," He went on, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before proceeding. "If you combine all that, it makes one thousand two hundred and forty nine dollars, which comes out to fourteen thousand, nine hundred and eighty eight dollars a year."

Jazmine offered him a small smile. "That's not too bad!" She said brightly. He gave her a look.

"Yeah…when there were only two of us."

She made a face. "Right. Yeah…"

"Yeah." He sighed. "So, since we got that shared minutes plan our cell phone bill is sixty dollars a month, since you couldn't live without your precious texting-"

"You appreciated that "precious texting" when you went to DC for the weekend with your moot trial group back in September!" Jazmine shot back. His face turned red.

"…Okay, so texting isn't _always _the worst thing." He ignored Jazmine's smirking. "Regardless, the bill's still sixty damn dollars. You got your credit card through your bank with an APR percentage of-"

"Four point nine nine percent," She finished, poking the tip of her pencil. "It has a minimum payment of two point five percent, or a twenty dollar amount."

His eyebrows rose. "…Yeah, actually-"

"Which, luckily I have no debt on, since I actually _pay _off my purchases before they're due."

"Thank god for that." He shook his head. "We've also got that emergency credit card that doesn't matter since we never use it, your parents went all overboard on the furniture buying when we got here, so we don't have any payments…well, except on the computer. And there's food-"

"_And _you don't have to start paying all those college loans you had to take out until after graduation!" Jazmine chirped. Huey slumped in his chair.

"Thanks for reminding me. _Seriously_."

She stuck out her tongue. "Wow! Maybe this won't be so bad!"

He snorted, sitting back up and rolling his eyes. "Think again." He nodded towards the folder and she opened it, her eyes scanning the first page.

"Oh!" She winced, letting out a small hiss and gritting her teeth. "_Ohhh…_"

He nodded, not looking much happier himself. She flipped through the various pages, her nose scrunching further and further up.

"Well…we still have-"

"No." He gave his head one firm, solid shake. "Next page."

She turned, her eyes widening. She let out a low whistle. "God_damn_."

And this was coming from the woman who thought swearing was a waste of constructive time.

"And that's _without _the daycare," He said, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. She sighed, resting her forehead in her hands and pushing her hair back.

"Okay." She took a deep breath, obviously thinking her words through. "Well, at least we both have health insurance, so that's a plus-"

"Yeah, until mine expired December thirty first," Huey mumbled. Jazmine's head whipped up.

"You don't have health insurance?!" She practically screamed. He glared at her.

"No, I just said I don't because I felt like it."

"There's no need," She said, narrowing her eyes at him. "To get snippy."

They glared at each other for a few more seconds before she sighed.

"I thought if you're in college and you're a dependant you're covered until twenty-three?"

"Well, Grandad has Medicare now," He said, drumming his fingers on the table. "Which doesn't cover me. And health insurance is expensive."

"But-"

"It's no big deal." He waved his hand. She gave him a look.

"Are you kidding me? It is a big deal! If something happens to you and you don't have any-"

"Drop it." He gave her a look of his own. "Please."

She bit her lip, glancing down and nodding. "Okay."

He leaned back in his chair, resting his hands behind his head and closing his eyes. She flipped through more of the pages, circling certain things and sitting up.

"The biggest factors," She said softly, causing him to crack an eye open to look at her. "Are food, clothing, necessities, and childcare. Childcare's mandatory if we're going to both stay in school. That's probably the most expensive thing." She dropped her pencil, leaning back and staring at the folder. "I added it all up, and-"

"Wait, when did you do that?"

"Just now."

"In your _head_?"

"It's not hard."

He rolled his eyes.

"According to all this, give or take a few unforeseen circumstances-" She looked at him. "The first year could cost us around ten thousand dollars."

He nodded, closing his eyes again.

"That's not including the actual going to the hospital part. That's around another seven thousand. But my insurance will probably cover the majority of it," She added quickly. "I can check."

"Please do."

She twirled the pencil in between her fingers. "I'm sure my parents will help."

"Which is great, it really is, but we can't go running to your _parents _for everything," He pointed out. She frowned.

"I didn't say we had to run to them for _every _little thing, but we're going to need them eventually. Everyone needs their parents sometime," She added softly. When Huey's face remained blank she cringed.

Way to go. It was always a good idea to mention how everyone needed their parents in front of the man whose parents had been dead since he was _nine_. Before she could even try to save the situation he opened his mouth.

"I can get another job."

She looked at him like he was nuts. "You have eighteen credit hours."

"So I'll drop a class."

"That's stupid."

"No. It's _logical_."

"It is not." She folded her arms over her chest. "I'll take on more shifts. And if you feel the need to work more then you can do the same. But you don't need another job. Look, we have a decent amount in savings, and-"

"You're saying you can take on more hours like it's not going to get harder for you the farther along you get," He interrupted, crossing his arms as well. "For all you know, you might barely be able to handle classes!"

"And for all _you _know," Jazmine shot back. "I'll be perfectly fine. Am I complaining _now_?"

"Um, are you even halfway through your second trimester _now_?" He argued. "All I'm saying is that things could change! You're _not _going to feel the same way in six months. You're just not. It's a fact."

She glared at him. "Then I'll work more hours while I still _can_. Is that a reasonable solution?" She shrugged. "What do you recommend?"

He rested his head in his hands. "At this point? One of us is going to have to start selling drugs."

She balled up a piece of paper and threw it at him. He lifted his head, watching her smirk.

"Seriously," She said softly, leaning forward. "We need to figure out something. Anything. Just so we have something to work towards."

He sighed, rubbing his forehead. "I guess…all we can really do is talk to our professors," He said matter-of-factly. "Tell them the circumstances to see if they'll be willing to work with us."

She nodded.

"We're going to have to notify our jobs as well," He continued, resting his palms on the table in front of him. "Well, when I say we I mean _you_."

"Why just me?"

"Oh, I don't know…because you're carrying a human _being around _inside you? People tend to want to know that."

She shrugged.

"I'm going to try to get more hours. And I'm going to look for another job. A _part time _one," He added when Jazmine's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth to protest. "Something to get some kind of extra income for when you won't be able to work for awhile." He glanced at her. "You can try to get extra hours, but if you don't it's not a-"

"I'm going to," She said firmly, raising her chin. He sighed.

"We could make a tighter budget," He continued. "Figure out what we need and what we don't. Adjust spending where we can." She nodded.

"Okay, then." He stared down at the table. Jazmine sighed, rising out of her chair and walking over to him, wrapping her arms around him and resting her cheek on his shoulder.

"We're going to figure this out." She rested her chin on his shoulder so that she could look at him. He nodded, sighing.

"I know."

After a few seconds, she smirked. "You know what would be good right now?"

He shrugged, glancing at her. She grinned.

"A chili and ice cream sundae."

He shook his head. "You sure know how to cheer me up," He mumbled, his voice filled with sarcasm. She closed her eyes, resting her cheek on him again.

He made a mental note to buy a padlock for the refrigerator. When Jazmine's ringtone went off in the other room a few moments later Jazmine let him go, vanishing out of sight. Huey rested his chin on his arms, closing his eyes.

"Hello? Hey, Riley!" Jazmine was always cheerful on the phone. _Always_. Even if you were a bill collector. Even if you were a telemarketer. There was a good chance she'd be nice to Satan if he called. "What's up?" She paused. "What the heck do you need money for? You have a job!"

Huey opened his eyes.

"Well, in case you're not aware, we're trying to get our finances together as well, so…what do you mean it's not hard for me to make money?" She paused. "I could be a prostitute? Riley! I am not selling my body for money!" She stopped again, listening to whatever else Riley was saying. "Riley, that's just sick."

Huey rolled his eyes. Maybe the first thing they could do to cut spending could be cutting off their damn phones. Then maybe neither one of them would have to listen to everyone who knew nothing about pregnancy give them advice.

Well. It wasn't like it could get much worse.

* * *

Thank's for reading! Hope you enjoyed the not funny and that the math didn't kill your brain cells like I fear it did mine.

-Kelsey


	13. Sinking In

So, for all you Easter celebrating peeps out there, happy easter! And to those that are like me...well, today's the perfect day to go have a conversation with a Jew. Nah, I'm kidding. Just ignore me. Ya'll know I'm forever kidding around (I HOPE you know I'm joking). So, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to Goku's Daughter, XXMissJanuary1996Xx, child who is cool, EclipseIllusion, and Lachelle92! Aw, you guys (girls) are all saying such nice stuff! It warms my little heart to read it all. And yes, I'm serious. haha.

Soooo, some could argue that there's a little OOCness in this chapter, but like I've mentioned before, I'm pretty sure pregnancy can make everyone OOC at times. If you think it's that bad though, feel free to tell me. I don't mind criticism. It's not like I don't hear it everyday already from my mother...:sniffle: :P

Yeah, hope you enjoy it! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Sinking In

"Ya know," Riley pointed out as he sat on the opposite end of the couch, eating a container of Jazmine's Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey ice cream. "Jazzy havin' a baby."

Huey, who was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, his feet propped up on the table, lowered the paper to give his brother a flat expression.

"You know, I wasn't aware." He lifted the paper again and shook his head, his afro swinging on the top of his head. "Thanks, Riley."

"Nigga, don' be all sarcastic wit me!" He took a big mouthful of ice cream, his cheeks stuffed. Huey glanced over at him, his eyebrows raised.

"Jazmine's going to kill you, you know." He glanced back to the paper. "And I ain't gonna help you. Last time I tried to throw out the ice cream she started crying and threatened to throw herself out our bedroom window, which I had to stop her from doing. So, when she sees her ice cream's gone-"

"I ain't scurred of her like yo punk ass!" Riley cackled, throwing a pillow at the side of Huey's head. He glared. "How you gon let some broad scare- _ow_!"

"She's not a broad," Huey replied calmly, lowering his hand from where he'd smacked Riley in the back of the head. "And I'm not scared of regular Jazmine. But she…" He sighed, lowering his voice and glancing towards the closed bedroom door. "She is _pregnant _Jazmine. And pregnant Jazmine is a lot more fearsome than regular Jazmine."

Riley sucked his teeth. "Nigga, please."

"You don't have to believe me." Huey shrugged, turning the page. "You haven't witnessed first-hand how fickle she is."

"She _always _fickle!"

"Yeah, never to the point where she starts choking a cashier because he bagged her applesauce with her toothpaste!" He shot back. He snorted. "But hey, you can test her if you want. _I'm _leaving her alone." He frowned. "It's just getting really difficult to find grocery stores to go to since we keep getting banned out of all of them-"

"Are you forreal?" Riley sat up and gave his older brother a look. Huey blinked.

"Um…yes?"

"Not bout no damn groceries!" Riley shook his head, grinning. "It ain' even sunk in dat big, stupid afro head of yours, has it?"

Huey looked genuinely confused. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You, nigga!" Riley pointed at him. "Come June third yo ass gon be a father!"

Huey blinked. "I am aware of that, thank you."

"Ha!" Riley shook his head, turning on the TV. "No, you ain't."

"Yeah, I am."

"Naw, you ain't!"

"I am."

"No, you-"

"I ain't gonna sit here and argue with yo dumbass over it." Huey shook out the paper, resuming his reading. He frowned. "Who the _hell _thought it was a good idea to give Mo'nique her own _talk show_?"

"Man-"

"_And _on BET?" He shook his head. "They're just asking for me to go up to their headquarters and commit Harikiri on all their asses."

Riley shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Oh, dat shit _definitely _ain't sank in."

"What are you talking about?" He gave Riley a frustrated look. "Of _course _it has. She's due June third. She's about four months. She-"

"Aiight aiight, and dat's all good, forreal, but…" Riley gave him a sly grin. "You still ain't said it."

"Said _what_?"

"Said you gon be a father!" He shook his head, eating more ice cream. "Admit it."

"I _have _admitted it." He gave Riley an incredulous look. "We had to re-budget out incomes. We had to tell our _parents_. We had to go to the doctor, take all those tests…we've _been _acknowledged it."

"But you ain't _said _dat shit. You ain' said "ima be a father". Don' worry bout it, though." Riley licked his lips, surveying his brother with an amused expression. "You'll recognize dat shit."

"What_ever_. You're so weird."

And so, Riley, who usually didn't give two shits about what anyone other than himself did, watched and observed. He watched Huey read the paper. He watched Huey watch some documentary on the History Channel. He watched him meditate. He watched him get some Kool-Aid. He turned on Huey's Xbox as the sun began to set over the horizon and ate a bowl of Frosted Flakes (something that Huey had thrown out only to find that Jazmine stubbornly bought five more boxes when he wasn't home). Huey went over to the refrigerator.

Just as Riley prepared to whoop some nigga's ass on _Halo _he heard a loud crash come from the kitchen and threw down the controller, hopping up and running into the kitchen as quickly as his sagging basketball shorts would allow him to.

"Oh, my god." Huey was leaning against the kitchen sink, looking ready to go into cardiac arrest. "Oh, my _god_." He glanced towards Riley, who had his arms folded over his chest and was giving him an amused smirk. "I'm going to be a…a…"

Riley shrugged, leaning against the refrigerator. "Say it, nigga!"

Huey shook his head, looking as if he were trying to keep from throwing up. "I'm going to be a _father_."

Boom.

Riley burst out laughing, breaking out his cell phone. "Nigga, lemme getta picture of yo face! Cause you lookin like-"

"This isn't funny, Riley!" Huey grabbed his shoulders, shaking him roughly. "I'm going to be a father! Jazmine's having a baby! _My _baby! In June! _June_!"

"Aye, at least dat shit's gon be a Gemini." He shook himself out of Huey's grip. "Gemini's be sexy, son."

"What the hell is _wrong _with you?!" Huey yelled, shaking his head. "I don't care about that! I don't know a goddamn thing about being a _father_! I don't know anything about children! You can't even take them back to the store for an exchange!"

Riley shook his head, frowning. He didn't like to see his elder brother in such distress.

At least, not unless he was causing it.

"Nigga, bring yo wack ass on." He walked to the closet and got out his coat, shrugging into it and stuffing a hat on his head. He grabbed Huey's car keys and stuffed them in his pocket. Huey gave him a look.

"Where are you _going_?"

"_We _is goin ta don'-worry-bout-it land." Riley waved his hand. "Now, come on."

Huey glanced towards the bathroom door, looking reluctant. Riley waved his hand.

"She'll be 'iight."

"She has chronic asthma, Riley."

"Nigga, you ain' ever worried bout her havin' no asthma attack whenever ya'll be in dat bedroom-"

"Okay, let's go," Huey interrupted, smacking Riley upside the head again and stalking towards the front door, shaking his head. Riley shook his head, glancing at his brother.

"Aye."

"_What_?"

"You ain' got no shoes on."

Huey glanced down at his socked feet. "…Oh."

Twenty minutes later Riley was driving down the highway, shaking his head. Huey was in the passenger seat in only a t shirt, some jeans, and some sneakers…in _January_. In _Chicago January_. This nigga really was going through it. He was so preoccupied with his own thoughts he didn't even argue over Riley turning the station to some ignorant Soulja Boy song. He was even _more _oblivious to the fact that Riley was driving _his _car in general, and he was the one who swore Riley would never drive a vehicle of his ever again after he crashed Huey's car into a fence back in Woodcrest when he was practicing for his road test.

Fatherhood did some crazy shit to people.

Finally, they were standing on a doorstep and Riley was knocking, glancing up at his still silent brother. Even though Huey was only approximately two inches taller, his afro made it seem like he was at least half a foot taller. After a few moments, the door opened and a man with cornrows and a black wifebeater poked his head out. He grinned when he saw Riley and threw the door open.

"Mah nigga!" He fist pumped Riley and they both clapped each other on the back before he glanced towards Huey. "Who's the goofy nigga with tha fro?"

Riley glared towards his still silent brother. "Nigga, tell him who you is! Bein' all rude an shit."

Huey shook his head as if coming out of a daze. He glanced at the guy before sighing.

"I'm a father."

Riley burst out laughing. The man looked confused.

"He mah brotha, man." Riley shook his head. "He…comin' ta terms wit shit."

"Ah." The man held out his hand towards Huey. "Mah name's Andre."

Huey reluctantly shook it, nodding. Riley nudged Andre.

"Look." He jabbed his thumb towards Huey. "Dis nigga usually tha calm, collected, smart motha fucka, but now his gurl pregnant. An I had da feelin dat he was bout ta lose it, so-"

"_Oh_." Andre's eyebrows lifted. "It finally sank in." Riley nodded and he grabbed Huey by the front of his shirt, dragging him into the house. "Come on here, nigga. I gotchu."

Huey, who would have never in his _life _let some stranger -especially some _man_- drag him by the collar, simply followed him inside without any sort of protest. Riley shut the door behind them, following them into the living room, where four other men were already sitting. They were all on the floor playing Xbox, save a fifth person, who was sitting on the couch with a coloring book. The fifth person, who glanced up before all the men, her tiny brown eyes giving the newcomers a look-over before her face lit up in a smile.

"Cookie!" She screamed, causing the rest of the men to look up to the door as well. They all grinned.

"Wat up, Esco?"

"Wat up." Riley shoved Huey forward. "Huey, dis over dur is Marco, James, Benjamin, an Scooby Doo."

Huey blinked. "…Scooby Doo?"

"Nigga, don' play me." The man known as Scooby Doo gave him a glance over. "At least I ain' named after no duck."

Huey gave him a frown, rolling his eyes. "Man, whateva."

"Don' worry bout dem niggas." Riley waved him hand towards them, causing them all to hold up their controllers and yell at him. He walked over to the couch, sitting down beside the little girl and lifting her into his lap. "_This _is who we came ta see."

Huey stared at her. She stared back, gnawing on her coloring book and pointing to him with a chubby finger.

"Cookie?"

"Naw, son! We've discussed this." Riley, to Huey's surprise, held her up so that he was looking into her eyes. "Dat's _Huey_. You eat cookies. You don' eat no Hueys."

She blinked. Huey gave her a slight wave, his eyebrows raised.

"…Cookie?"

Riley shook his head, sighing. Andre came up to Huey and clapped him on the back.

"That," He said. "Would be my baby girl, Maggie." Huey glanced towards him. "I named her after my grandmother since she raised me an all."

"Oh." Huey swallowed, glancing back at the tiny girl. She had big, curly brown hair and bright brown eyes that never left his face. After a few seconds she dropped the coloring book and it tumbled to the floor. She frowned, her lower lip poking out. At least she wasn't crying. He sighed, crouching down to pick up the book and holding it out to her. Maggie stared at his face for a long moment before a gummy smile slowly spread along her face. She reached out, took the book with both hands, and tugged it away from him, letting out a cheerful gurgle. His eyebrows shot up higher.

Alright…so maybe that _had _been a bit cute…

At least, it was until she wacked him upside the head with the book, laughing and kicking her tiny socked feet. Riley cackled, balancing her on one knee as Huey rubbed his head and shot her a dirty look.

"Cookie!" She giggled. Andre shook his head as Huey straightened.

"You wanna beer, man?" he asked, pointing towards the kitchen. At first Huey opened his mouth to say no, but then he shrugged and nodded. Why not?

He followed Andre into the kitchen, ignoring the shouts and taunts that came from the video game players, their voices almost as loud as the loud laughing that came from Maggie. As Andre reached in the refrigerator and handed Huey a beer, he grabbed one for himself and leaned against the counter, popping it open.

"So, let me guess." He gave Huey a quick glance over. "You're twenty-one. Twenty-two."

Huey shook his head. "Twenty. Twenty-one next month."

Andre nodded, sucking his teeth. "How old's the mother?"

Huey sighed. "Twenty."

"Well." Andre plucked his bottle cap onto the counter, taking a long gulp. He finally set down the half empty beer, belching loudly and wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Huey blinked at him.

"You wanna know something bout your brother?" When Huey shrugged he nodded towards the living room, grinning. "Best babysitter around."

Huey's jaw nearly dropped to the floor. "_Riley_?" He popped the cap on his own beer, taking a long sip. He needed it in order to believe what he'd just heard. "You're joking, right?"

He shook his head, folding his arms over his chest.

"Maggie's moms died during childbirth. I ain't tryna scare yo ass or anything," He said when Huey looked like he wanted to pass out. "She had preexisting conditions. They told her it was a good chance it would happen if she carried Maggie to term and ain' terminate tha pregnancy. She won' havin that shit though. So, naturally, when she was born it was just me. Now, Ima twenty-one year old nigga in college and I was nineteen when she was born. My moms dead, my dad ain't been around in years, no grandparents…I didn't know what I was gon do to keep us both out of tha red. But dat nigga-" He once again nodded towards the living room. "He worked some miracles or sum shit. Had his aunt Cookie watchin' her when I went ta school, went ta work. I pays her and all, but it's worth it and it ain't nearly as expensive as daycare would be. An on weekends when I gotta work, Riley keep her fo me. He's real good wit tha kids."

Why had he never known that? Huey glanced towards the living room as well, where loud laughs and boos were now coming from.

"Ya'll niggas can _eat my dick_!" One of the men yelled.

"Not in front of mah daughter dey can't! Watch yo mouth, homes!" Andre yelled out the kitchen.

"Watch..yo mouff, Cookie!" The little girl yelled, causing everyone to laugh. Andre shook his head, grinning. He glanced back to Huey.

"Riley tells me bout you, believe it or not. And it ain't all no mean bullshit either," He added when Huey opened his mouth to argue. "He say you smart, you got them brains an street smarts an all. But when you gotta kid, dat shit change. You find yo priorities shift. You be goin yo whole life thinkin you want something, den you realize what you really want is something else." He took another swig of beer. "An yeah, it's hard and hell yea, you gon be struggling for awhile. Maybe longer than awhile. But den, yo little girl or boy's gonna do some shit like crawl, or walk, or smile, and you just don even think bout it, man." He shrugged. "And don't be afraid to _not _worry sometimes."

Huey's eyebrow rose. "…What?"

"Nigga, you heard me." Andre set down his bottle. "Shit, hang out wit sum friends an go party or sum shit. Go do _you_. Everybody need sum "me time". Get dat me time in." He shrugged. "Do wat you need to do _not _to worry, cause the more you worry the worse it makes _everything_."

He's expected Riley to take him to some place where niggas were shooting up or making drug deals, not where actual people gave advice and weren't committing crimes. Then again, that had been wrong of him to assume in the first place. Even Riley wasn't _that _stupid.

"So, you'll be iight." Andre picked up the bottle again, running a hand over his braids and tossing Huey a wary look. "In fact…how much do you know bout kids?"

Huey blinked. "Um…" He cleared his throat. "Well." He stopped, sighing and shaking his head. "I've got nothing."

"Well, you bout to get a quick lesson. Come on." He set down his drink again, Huey doing the same and following him back into the living room. They stopped in front of Riley, who was bouncing Maggie up and down on his knees, making her laugh. Andre held out his hands.

"Give her up, mane."

Riley handed her over to Andre, who held her over his head and smiled at her before holding her out to Huey. "Here. Take her."

Huey's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No, I'm fine-"

"Oh, so you gon say that when yo girl ask _you _to hold ya'll kid?" He shot back. Huey made a face.

"That's completely different-"

"If you can't do it _now_ then you won't be able to do it _then_." He held her out. Maggie blinked at Huey. He sighed, slowly putting out his arms and bracing himself as Andre shifted so that he was holding her and she was staring up at him, her tiny button nose scrunching up as she gave him a look. Huey stared back, frozen.

Alright, so as horrible as this would sound, he'd never held a baby. Ever. In his twenty years of life he'd carefully eluded having to hold a kid just because he didn't _want _to. He'd never been a big fan of children. The times he'd been around babies that did need to be held there'd always be someone else around to take care of it. There had even been occasions where Jazmine had held a baby instead of him. It may have sounded mean or selfish, but he'd never really cared. After all, he hadn't liked children, they usually didn't like him, he wasn't going to ever have any, and it just didn't matter. Whatever.

So, this was pretty new to him. In fact, he didn't know how people moved around with these…_things_. Okay, it was a _baby_, not a thing. But seriously, she was so fragile! What if he dropped her? What if she just spontaneously threw herself out of his arms and plummeted a good five feet to her baby doom? Worst of all…what if she started _crying_?

Oh, no. He saw it coming before anyone else did. She blinked, obviously on to the fact that she was being held by someone she didn't know. Her eyes widened and filled with tears. Her little mouth formed a wide O. Her face scrunched up, she drew in a large, deep breath…

And then, she started wailing.

Huey nearly dropped her to cover his ears but managed to hold on. He gave Andre a half shocked, half panicked stare.

"What the hell do I _do_?" He asked, trying not to sound like a complete coward. Andre shrugged, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I don't know." He didn't seem the least bit concerned about her crying. Neither did Riley, nor anyone else. "What _do_ you do?"

Huey gave him an incredulous look. Riley snorted.

"Betta figure dat shit out, nigga."

Huey glanced back down to the crying baby. She showed no signs of letting up. How did he get into this situation?! He finally sighed, gently lifting her own his head so that she was staring directly down at him. He raised an eyebrow. She stopped crying, surprised.

"You want to cut that out now?" He asked calmly. She blinked, sniffing. Then, she reached down and tugged a fistful of his hair, making him wince.

"Cookie!"

He sighed, rolling his eyes. "Whatever." He started to lower her again but then her face automatically balled up again so he lifted her, making her giggle. He blinked.

What was her problem? He slowly lowered her again, but then lifted her, as if she were on some sort of elevator. Her face broke out into a huge grin, and then she started laughing. Huey was so relieved that he got her to shut up that he nearly laughed himself. Only he caught everyone staring at him so he quickly started scowling.

"Here." He handed her back to a bemused Andre, dropping his hands. To his surprise she started crying, twisting around to reach out for him. Andre's eyebrows lifted along with Huey's. Riley sat up, smirking.

"Lemme find out someone likes Huey other than himself."

"Shut up." Huey glanced from him to Maggie, finally sighing and holding his hands out again. When she came to rest in his arms again she automatically stopped crying. Andre nodded.

"Impressive."

Huey shrugged, staring down at her. She grabbed a fistful of his shirt and started slobbering on it. It actually didn't bother him.

Hey. His eyes opened wider. She was actually pretty…cute?

Well, she was…until she bolted up, frowned, and proceeded to spit up on his shirt. Riley burst out laughing. Andre grimaced. Huey slowly held her away from him, trying to keep the look of disgust off his face.

"You…can have her back now."

Andre took her, shaking his head and walking off with her. "Now, was that necessary?" He was cooing to her as she gurgled, clapping her hands together. As they left the room one of the other guys turned to glance at Huey.

"Believe it or not that means she likes you, mane."

Huey gave him a look of disbelief. "She threw up on me…so she likes me."

They all nodded earnestly. Huey sighed before shrugging. Whatever. Well, at least _he _didn't feel like throwing up anymore.

Come to think about it…he felt a lot better than he had before.

"Aiight, nigga. Let's go." Riley's nose was wrinkled. "You smell like throw up."

They said their goodbyes to everyone, Andre telling Huey to come back whenever he wanted. As they rode home Huey couldn't help but give Riley a look.

"You didn't tell me that you liked children."

Riley snorted, bobbing his head to some Rick Ross song. "Nigga, you neva asked."

True.

"You know I gotchu, right?" Huey's head whipped towards Riley again. He was staring straight, his face in a rare serious expression. "I mean…yeah, you be pluckin mah nerves n shit an I still think you's a bitch nigga, but I got yo back." He glanced over at Huey, smirking. "I can't let mah niece or nephew turn out to be a gay nigga like you."

Huey scowled.

"Den again, wit Jazmine as its mom? I don't know if ya'll kid gotta chance-"

"Just shut up and drive." Huey shook his head, glancing out the window. Riley snorted.

"Hey, Riley."

"What?"

Huey sighed. "Thanks, man."

Riley made a face. "Don' be gettin' all gay on me an shit." After a long pause, however, he shrugged. "It's cool." He stopped at a stoplight and gave Huey a look. "You aiight?"

Huey thought about it before nodding. "Yeah." The light turned green and they were off again. "I'm alright."

* * *

As usual, thank you for reading! Please, review! Or...don't...?!

-Kelsey


	14. Names

Eh. Just an idea that came to my head in my computer class (which I'm still in at this moment...I'm going to fail. lol). Maybe I'd be more motivated to pay attention if I'd hurry up and get my decisions from these OTHER FREAKING COLLEGES...oh. But yeah, thanks to Goku's Daughter, child who is cool, and MizzC for the reviews! This one's just a little shortie I thought of, so nothing special. You know what IS special? THE BOONDOCKS SEASON THREE TRAILER THAT WAS LEAKED ON YOUTUBE. Hurry up and check it out before they take it down!!!! :D :D :D

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Names

"Huey."

"Huh."

"Huey."

"What?"

"_Huey_."

"Jazmine, _what_?"

Jazmine suddenly cut on the light, making him groan and roll over, tugging his pillow over his head. She sat up, drawing her knees to her chest.

"I got one." She grinned. "Andromeda."

Huey slowly sat up, turning over to give her a blank stare. She beamed at him. He scowled.

"What the _hell _kind of name is that?" Jazmine's smiled faded. "No. _Hell_ no." He turned back over, replacing the pillow over his head. "If it is a girl the very last thing we are naming her is some damn _Andromeda_…this isn't _Star Trek_."

For the past few days Jazmine had been on a baby name kick. She'd bought a book full of them. She'd went on the internet and printed lists of them. It wasn't something that was unbearable so he usually went along with her constant babbling about it…but that was when it was actually _daylight _outside.

This…was just ridiculous.

"You said the same thing about Hayley!" Jazmine whined, crossing her arms over her chest. "And Lyra!"

"Why do you insist on suggesting all these white girl names?" He asked, his voice muffled. "In fact, why are you insisting anything at all at _one _in the morning?"

"I can't sleep." Jazmine pouted. She poked him. "Huey, come on! We have to think of _names_!"

"Jazmine." He sat up, sighing and giving her a look. "We have until _June _to do that. It's only _January._" When she continued to stare at him with a blank expression, obviously not paying the slightest bit of attention to his words, he sighed. "What's wrong with a nice _African _name?"

"An African name won't get them a job!" Jazmine complained. Huey threw up his hands.

"And a white name will get our _black _child laughed at in school!"

"They're going to be a quarter white, you know."

"Jazmine, get over it. They're black. _You're _black."

"I don't understand that." Jazmine scowled at him as he groaned again, rolling back over. "Seriously!" She glared. "I don't get how back in the era of reconstruction and Jim Crow laws, even dated back to when slavery was still full accepted through developing America, everyone abided by the "one-drop" rule, which stated that anyone who had a drop of African blood in them was considered black. Back then, people of color, even biracial and multiracial individuals, despised the term and wanted to be accepted for all their heritages instead of having to conform to one. _Now_, those laws are long gone, yet people still unknowingly abide to it, which means they're letting themselves be ruled by those same laws their ancestors once hated. By you refusing to acknowledge my multiracial status, you _yourself _are being held down by the negative mentality that the one-drop rule possessed. Doesn't that make you…I don't know…a hypocrite?"

Huey slowly sat up, giving her a long, blank stare. She stared back. He frowned.

"Shut up."

'Shut up' being code for 'I don't even know how to respond to that'.

"I'm just saying!" She threw up her hands. "It's not the point that people are choosing another race over their African heritage. They're simply acknowledging that there's other races that make them who they are. I don't see anything wrong with that."

"Uh huh, okay, sure." He gave her a look. "They're still getting an African name."

She gave him a dirty look. "_Fine_." He blinked in surprise. That hadn't been hard. "What do you have in mind?"

He sighed. "Can we talk about this when it's _not _the middle of the night?"

"But I want to talk about it _nooooow_!" She whined, lightly shaking him. "Please?"

He glared at her, sucking his teeth. "Whatever."

"Yay!" She clapped her hands together enthusiastically. He grimaced. Unlike herself he wasn't much of a late night person. "Alright, so what did you have in mind?"

He shot her a wary look before sighing once again and resting his chin in his hand. "Ajani. It's a boy name."

"No."

He shot her a dirty look. "What the hell is wrong with it?!"

"I don't like it."

"It's a good name!"

"What the heck is an Ajani?"

"It's a warrior name!" Huey practically sputtered. "It's Nigerian!"

"Well, we're in _America_."

"Way to be a conformist, Jazmine."

"Way to suggest a dumb name, _Huey_."

They glared at each other. He finally rolled his eyes.

"Dakarai."

Jazmine's nose wrinkled. Huey noticed it and scowled.

"What's wrong with _that _one?"

"It's so…" She stopped, shaking her head. "What does it even _mean_?"

"It's from Zimbabwe! It means happiness."

"Huey, _you're _not even a happy person. Why would you even name your child something that means the very emotion which you never are?" She paused. "And what's with all the boy names?!"

"Because _hopefully_," He mumbled. "We're having a boy."

Jazmine folded her arms over her chest, leaning back against the headboard. "Well, I want a girl."

"You _would_."

"What does _that _mean? You want a boy!" She gestured to him. "Of course _you'd _want a boy! _You're _a boy!"

"Alright alright! Damn!" Huey held up a hand, sitting up straighter. "Okay, a girl one." He thought for a moment. "Zahra."

Jazmine blinked, nodding slowly. "Well, that's actually not too-"

"Wait. Scratch that." He suddenly made a face. "Changed my mind."

"What? I actually like that one!" Jazmine frowned. "What's wrong with it?"

"It means _flowering _in Swahili." He shuddered noticeably. "Too many connotations with that one."

"Huey, no one would know unless they asked. And I doubt she'd go around saying "My name means flowering!" and I doubt anyone's going to hear her name, wonder what it means, and _Google_ it." Jazmine rolled her eyes. "It's a nice name."

"I am not naming her something that means flowering!"

"Oh, my god. Seriously?" She giggled. "It is _not _that big a deal!"

"You say that now." Huey snorted. "But when she's thirteen and the boys find out what her name means and she starts _blossoming_-"

Jazmine burst out laughing. "Are you really getting paranoid about boys wanting anything to do with our "flowering" daughter who might not even _be _a girl and who hasn't even been born yet?"

"_Yes_!" Huey scowled. "Boys are crazy as hell."

"Um, _you're _a boy." Jazmine blinked. "You do know that, right?"

"_Exactly_!" He threw up his hands. "You don't know the way men think. I do." He shook his head. "It's not pretty."

Jazmine slowly leaned away from him, giving him a look. "Should I be afraid?"

"Yes." He snorted, leaning against the headboard as well. "If we _do _have a girl, which, if a god really does exist, _won't _happen-" Jazmine snorted as well. "Then she's not dating until she's twenty-five."

Jazmine laughed again, covering her mouth with her hands when he gave her a serious look. "Huey, what would you have done if my dad had said the same thing?"

"At one time he _did _say that."

"Well, he obviously didn't mean it since he let me date you!"

"Bet he wishes he'd done otherwise _now_." Huey shook his head. "Well, unlike the rest of those…idiots, I didn't have any ulterior motives."

"Of course not." Jazmine pat his shoulder, drawing her knees to her chest again and resting her chin on them. "Well…what about Zaire?"

"Ooh. Let's name our child after a country." Huey gave her a bored look. "How original."

She stuck her tongue out. "Adanna's an African one, right?"

He nodded, making a face. "Yeah, but it's Nigerian for "her daughter's father". Which is pretty stupid. I mean, isn't that a given? Would we really need to name her that to reaffirm that fact?"

"You're impossible." She glowered at him. He shrugged. "I mean, who _cares _what it means?"

He gave her an incredulous look. "Jazmine, the meaning of the name's the most important part! You're so apathetic!"

"And you're so cynical."

"Well, yeah! Duh!"

"Well, double duh for me!"

"Double duh? What does that even _mean_?"

"Why don't you figure it out since meanings are sooo important to you?"

They glared at each other again. Huey yawned, shaking his head.

"I don't have _time _for this." He flopped over. "Good_night_-"

"Huey, wait!" Jazmine nearly whined. He glanced over his shoulder towards her. She frowned.

"What about Freda?" When he blinked at her she threw up her hands. "It was my grandma's name!"

"Wait, I thought your grandmother's name was Ella?"

"No, you're thinking of my dad's mom. We hated her." She waved her hand. "Freda was my mom's mom."

"Jazmine…okay, look." Huey pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head again. "How about…we make a bet."

Jazmine stared at him as if trying to determine if he was serious. After a good thirty seconds she started laughing, clutching the blankets to her chest. Huey gave her a look.

"_What_?"

"You." She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Huey, _you _want to bet _me_?"

He shrugged. "Well…yeah." His eyes narrowed. "And that's a problem because…"

"Because you _always _lose. Always." She giggled. "You're the worst better ever. I don't think you've _ever _won one."

"I have! That…one time." He folded his arms over his chest. "That's not the point. The point is-"

"That you're gonna _lose_?" She stuck out her tongue. He lightly pushed her shoulder, rolling his eyes.

"If we have a boy, I get to name him. _But_-" He added when her green eyes widened and she opened her mouth to protest. "If it's a girl, you get to name her."

She pressed her lips together, thinking. After a few seconds she snapped her fingers.

"Okay." He sighed, satisfied. "But whoever loses gets to chose the middle name. That way everyone wins!"

"Yeah…except for the part where they _lose_."

"Shut up. Party pooper."

"Whatever." He punched his pillow, lying back down as Jazmine cut off the light and did the same. He yawned. "Well, at least the last name's going to be easy."

"Uh huh," Jazmine yawned as well, tugging the covers over her head and turning onto her side so that she was facing the opposite direction of him. "Thank god. After all-"

"It's gonna be-"

"Dubois-"

"Freeman."

There was a long, drawn out pause that filled the darkness. It was dangerously quiet, especially since their next door neighbors, a constantly fighting couple that were forever throwing things at each other, seemed to be out.

That, or they'd finally killed each other.

Jazmine bolted up, clicking on the light as Huey sat up as well. Their eyes narrowed as they glared at each other.

"…_what_?" They growled in unison. Huey shook his head, holding up a hand.

"Okay, for a second I thought you said their last name was going to be _Dubois_?"

"Yeah." Jazmine's glare intensified. "And it's _really _funny, because I'm pretty sure _you _said it was going to be Freeman."

"Yeah, because I _did_."

"Well, you're kinda sorta _wrong_."

His eyes widened, then narrowed again. "And what's wrong with _my _last name?"

"Um, I don't know!" Jazmine threw up her hands. "You're not going to be the one pushing out a human being!"

"Well, I helped _create _said human being!" He snapped. "So don't I get a say in this?"

"No!" Jazmine yelled, her fists clenched. "_I'm _the mother, Dubois is _my _last name, the baby's coming out of _me_, and so it's going to get my last name!"

"Bullshit!" he shot back. "I think I should have some type of say in this! I'm the father!"

"Yeah, well it's either 'Dubois' or 'Freeman' and it's definitely not the _second _choice, so what does that leave?"

"And may I ask _why _Freeman isn't an option?" He asked coolly. She shrugged.

"Because we're not _married_," She drew out, making him blink. "And in the case a child is born to unwed parents, the mother gets sole custody." She made a face. "You mean to tell me _you _of all people didn't know that?"

"Yeah, I _did_," He shot back. "But don't try to bullshit me, because that doesn't apply to _every _state. And the state of _Illinois _says that both parents have equal relationships, including support obligation. I'm a law student, Jazmine! I know these things!"

"Well, what about Maryland?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. In Maryland you'd technically have sole custody _until _I established paternity…why are we even talking about this anyway? I thought we were discussing _names_, not having a custody battle!"

"We're not!" She argued, giving him a dirty look. "I just don't think it's fair that I'm expected to give the child _I'm _carrying around for nine months _your _last name because it's "socially acceptable"." She made quotes with her fingers, rolling her eyes. "What's wrong with _my _last name?"

"What's wrong with _your _last name," Huey replied matter-of-factly, "is that people are going to see it and go, "Oh! Well, I guess that no-good father's not around!"-"

"So _what_?"

"_So_?" He ogled at her. "So _maybe _I just want it to have _my _last name, okay?"

"Well, I want it to have mine!" Jazmine massaged her temples. "Well…what about hyphenating?"

He snorted. "_Really_?"

"Yes, really!" She groaned. "What's wrong with hyphenating?"

"It's stupid, that's what's wrong with it!"

"Oh, of course it's stupid. Since, you know, it shows a woman actually wants to keep her identity known-"

"Well, it's not _your _identity! It's the child's!"

"Well, her having my last name would be like a connection!"

"Oh, so _you _can have the connection." He sucked his teeth. "That's nice."

"Why are you getting worked up about this anyway?" Jazmine shrugged. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

"Why does it matter to _you_?"

"Be_cause_, Huey." She sighed, tired. "_I'm _the one who the baby is coming _out _of. When _you _give birth, then by all means. Give it _your _last name."

He glared at her. She glared back. Behind their heads there was a sudden crash.

_"I hate you! You stupid bastard!"_

_"Call me one more name so I can-"_

_"What? You gon hit me? Nigga, you gon hit me? Do somethin' then, nigga! Do- OW!" _There was a pause from the other side of the wall, followed by a small sob. _"You hit me!"_

_"You told me to!"_

_"Bitch-" _Crash. A bottle hit the wall behind their heads and Jazmine cringed, sighing.

"That was nice while it lasted…"

"Forget them." Huey's eyes bore into hers. "Jazmine, come _on_."

"You come on!" She folded her arms over her chest, shaking her head. "You wanna make a bet on the last name, too?"

"No!" He shouted. "I want to know why my last name's not good enough!"

"Not good enough?" She gave him a look. "There's nothing _wrong _with it."

"Well, you're sure _acting _like it." He had a sour expression on his face. Jazmine's eyes narrowed as she gave him a surprised look.

"Are you…really _that _upset about it?"

"I'm not upset." His voice was cool. He rolled his eyes, flopping over. "This is stupid. I'm going to sleep."

Jazmine stared at his back for a few seconds before shaking her head and reaching over to cut off the light again. She rested her back against the headboard, staring down at his dark form. She sighed.

"I'll…consider it." She pretended not to notice the way his back tensed. "Okay?" When he didn't say anything she sighed again, running a hand through her hair. "It's just…I could see if we were married or something, because it would kind of concrete things better. But we're not. And things happen, and…you might not always _want _to be around to claim the last name. Then what am I gonna look like? What is _it _going to look like?" She snorted, staring straight ahead. "A mother and her child with completely different last names for no given reason. So, it's not you." She shrugged.

_"Throw another goddamn bottle at my head! That's why yo stroke ain't worth nothin' no way!"_

_"You won't sayin that last night, was you?"_

_"I was fakin, nigga!"_

"Aye!" Huey sat up, banging the wall with his fist. "Shut up!" He sighed, rolling his eyes. That usually bought them a good oh, _five _seconds of silence. Sure enough…

_"…Nigga, what?"_

"Jazmine." He glanced at her, sighing again. If there was a contest for most sighs uttered in a specific amount of time he would win, hands down. "That's kind of the point of me claiming the last name. It's not me saying "I'm superior so get your ass in the kitchen" or anything like that. It's me acknowledging that I'm going to be there and that I _want _to be." He rubbed his eyes, trying not to yawn. She stared back at him, swallowing heavily.

"R-really?"

_"Yes." _He rolled his eyes. "I feel like a broken record sometimes…oh, no." He grimaced as he eyes filled with tears. "Not _now_-"

Jazmine let out a wail, throwing her arms around his neck and nearly knocking the wind out of him as she drew him into a tight hug. "You're s-so…_sweet_-"

There she went with that _word _again. How many times would he have to remind her that _sweet _and _Huey _did not belong in the same category?! He pat her back, resisting the urge to gag.

"Um…right." He took a deep breath as she let him go, relieved. Since when was she so _strong_? "So? Does it get my last name?"

She regarded him with a wary look before shrugging, turning over onto her side.

"I'll think about it." She yawned. "We'll…see."

He'd be more concerned about it if she wasn't the type to usually bend first. It wasn't nice to take advantage of people's weaknesses, but he couldn't help it if she was the passive one. He flopped down as well, once again putting his pillow over his head to block out the steady yelling coming from next door. After a few seconds he felt Jazmine's arms wrap around him, her head resting on his chest.

"Jacob." He froze. "You know, like the cute guy in _Twilight_."

Huey lifted the pillow off of his head. "I will kill myself."

"_Fine_." She closed her eyes. He did the same, his arm encircling her waist.

_"Ya'll niggas _wack_!" _A sudden shout came through the wall. Huey's eyes popped open. Jazmine lifted her head to look at him.

"You know," He said. "We should really argue _less _about the names and argue _more _about the possibility of moving."

"No arguments there." She closed her eyes. "Yes. Definitely."

Well. At least there was _one _thing they could agree on.

* * *

Don't know how they think they're gonna move anywhere. Broke selves.  
...Just saying. :P

I hate Twilight with a burning passion. I'd love to do a Twilight/Boondocks crossover just so the Boondocks crew could OWN those sparkly douchebags but I'm pretty sure I'd gag to death first.

I actually looked up the custody laws for this, so this stuff's pretty legit. Well, I hope it is. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed the not-so-funny-but-I-had-fun-writing-it-so-WHATEVER chapter! (Ignore me. It's early)

-Kelsey


	15. Anger Management

Based loosely on an actual incident I witnessesd. _Very _loosely.

Thank you to MizzC, EclipseIllusion, child who is cool, Goku's Daughter, and sweetiepye2 for the reviews! Now, since I feel like answering questions:

_"I love Jacob! But I hate Twilight. Does that make sense?"_

Yes. Because I also love Jacob and hate Twilight. LOL.

_"Have you already decided the sex of the baby and the name?"_

Yup! Muahahahaha.  
Well, the name's a bit tentative, as in...it's _different_. I'm not sure if I'll keep it. That's all you get for free. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Anger Management

It was a peaceful, beautiful January morning. The birds were chirping (alright, lies. They'd all migrated south) and the people who walked the streets of Chicago were the perfect pictures of cheeriness (well, aside from the good dozen people who were getting robbed). The apartment building which Huey and Jazmine resided in was also filled with tranquility and positive energy.

_Crash._

"Goddamnit!"

Well, almost.

Huey cracked open an eye from where he'd been sitting on the living room floor, meditating, and shook his head. "What are you doing?" He yelled towards the bathroom, where the loud sound had come from. At first, no one said anything.

And then, he heard her beginning to wail.

"_Shit_," He mumbled, jumping to his feet and hurrying to the closed door. "Jazmine." He tugged on the handle, but the door didn't budge. "Jazmine!"

When he didn't get a response he cursed, stepping back before kicking the door in. It broke off the hinges with a loud tearing sound, falling in. He grabbed it before it could completely crash to the floor and tipped it on its side, staring inside. His mouth fell open.

"What the _hell_?"

Jazmine was standing in nothing but a towel, crying her eyes out…on a scale.

Seriously?!

"Are you kidding me?" He yelled, causing her to finally open her eyes and glance towards him. She sniffed, her eyes red rimmed. "I thought you were having an asthma attack! Or…some kind of attack!" He gestured to her. "What are you _doing_?"

"I'm _mourning_," She sobbed dramatically, wiping her eyes with the edge of her towel. He rolled his eyes.

"What, mourning the amount of money I'm going to have to pay to fix the damn door?"

"_NO_!" She yelled, making his eyes grow large. She let out a sob. "I _gained six pounds_!"

He blinked, staring at her. She stared back, sniffling.

"Wait." He tipped his head to the side, his eyebrows drawing together. "That's it?" When she sniffed again he threw up his hands. "You're freaking out because you're gaining weight which is what you're basically _supposed _to be doing?"

"I DON'T WANNA BE FAT!" She screamed, making him flinch. God, that girl could be _loud_. The echo that the bathroom walls caused didn't help any either. "I DON'T WANNA BE A WHALE!"

He sighed. This was obviously, as stupid as it was, a touchy subject. "There's nothing wrong with your weight-"

"I'M GOING TO TURN INTO ROSIE O'DONNELL!"

"Jazmine, that doesn't even make _sense_." He slapped a hand over his forehead. "You're pregnant, not morbidly obese. Actually," He added, thinking aloud. "Rosie's not morbidly obese either. Just because she isn't sickly skinny like the models which American pop culture idolizes doesn't mean she's-" He stopped, stepping aside and giving Jazmine a confused look as she stomped past him, now wearing a robe and holding the scale, a determined expression on her face. "Um, what are you doing?"

She ignored him, instead going over to the window in the living room and pushing it up. His eyes widened.

"Jazmine, what the _hell_-"

"AHHHH!" She yelled, hurling the scale out the window. Huey rushed over to it, shoving her over so that he could also watch as it plummeted nine floors down, smacking the pavement of the alleyway below with a loud crash and breaking into a million pieces. Earl, a homeless man who resided beside the dumpster (and, on trash days, inside it) glanced up and glared, shaking his fists.

"You hoodlums tryna kill me?" He shouted. Huey dragged Jazmine, who was laughing, away from the window. He turned back around to close it. "Aye! _Aye_! Ya'll got sum crack?!"

Huey slammed the window shut, whirling back around to glare daggers in Jazmine's direction. "You _can't _go throwing projectiles out our windows!" He shouted, causing her laughing to cease. "We could go to _jail_! Not to mention that's a good way to kill someone-"

"I don't regret it." Jazmine had a dark look on her face and her arms were crossed over her chest. "I'm _glad _it's dead."

"What the hell kind of observation is that?" He asked, scratching his head. "It's…well, it _was_, a scale. It wasn't alive. You can't just personify inanimate objects and give them humanlike qualities for your emotional benefit-"

"You don't understand!" Jazmine shouted, her eyes welling up all over again. She pointed towards the window. "That thing…that thing taunted me, Huey." She shook her head, sniffing. "It just laughed at me as my weight went up and _up _with those beady digital numbers-"

"Ooooookay." He grabbed her shoulders, steering her towards their room. "I'm…pretty sure you should just get ready for school now-"

"Oh!" She shook herself out his grasp, spinning around and poking a finger in his chest. "So you're trying to get rid of me, aren't you?"

His mouth fell open. "No!" He gave her a bewildered stare. "As a matter of fact I'm sorry that you have to be unleashed onto the unknowing world! Seriously!" He shook his head, walking past her. "Gonna _kill _someone or something. I'm kind of afraid to let you out my sight-"

"I can't help it that I keep getting provoked!" She wailed.

"By _what_? A manmade _scale_?" Huey sighed, rolling his eyes. "Just…get dressed."

"You can't tell me what to do!" She shouted. He gave her a blank stare.

"Then _fine_." His words were clipped. "_Don't _get dressed. I really don't give a shit _what _you do at this point."

Jazmine gave him a glare, turning on her heel, stomping into their room, and slamming the door. He shook his head, sighing again.

"Aw, come one, Jazmine-"

"Don't talk to me!" She yelled. "I'm getting dressed!"

_Wow_.

Huey shook his head, starting towards the kitchen but stopping when there was a sudden loud knocking on the door. He groaned, changing direction and heading down the short hallway, glancing through the peephole. He flinched.

_Damn _it.

Their grumpy landlord, Mrs. Maiko, was standing there in her nightgown and hair rollers, her face in a stern expression. He cringed. Did he want to ignore her? Definitely. Only, just as he turned around-

"I know you there, Freeman!" She yelled in her screeching tone which probably resembled the noise fingernails made on a chalkboard better than the actual thing. "I see your shadow under door! You open up now!"

He sighed, unlocking the door and pulling it open a crack. He started to stick his head out but was knocked back as Mrs. Maiko shoved the door open, the doorknob smashing into his stomach. She slid her heavy shoulder bag off her shoulder and slung it at him, hitting him in a not-so-appropriate area and making him groan as he fell to his knees.

"You on floor like some animal!" She yelled, snapping her fingers. "You get up! I hear noise complaint!"

"You _always _hear a noise complaint!" He managed through gritted teeth. "There's gunshots in the apartment _beside _ours a good three nights a week, the cops are _always _there, yet we can't even-"

"I did not ask for your petty words!" She snapped, glancing around. Her eyes fell on the bathroom door and her mouth fell open. "What this?"

His eyes widened and he lifted a hand. "I can explain-"

"You break door!" She yelled, pointing at the door and waving her finger to and fro. "You pay! You pay me!"

"I'm gonna give you your damn money!" He shouted back. "Look, I'll get it-"

"Where the girl?" She asked, glancing around. "I see girl now!"

Huey sighed, rolling his eyes. "I wouldn't recommend that, Mrs. Maiko-"

"I see girl _now_!" She yelled, stomping her foot. "You two and your American shenanigans and your…she in there?"

"Er-" Huey started, but was cut off by the landlord knocking on the door, her face stern. "That's…kind of an invasion of privacy-"

"I from Korea!" She yelled, tugging on the doorknob. "We has no privacy there!"

"Do you have to keep _yelling_?" He shook his head as she pushed the door open. "Mrs-"

"AHHHH!" A sudden scream erupted from inside the bedroom, followed by the landlord's equally high pitched scream. Huey grimaced.

"Get _out_!" Jazmine yelled. Mrs. Maiko shoved past Huey, heading for the front door. "You crazy ass bat! Get out!"

"I leaving! I sorry! I- AHHH!" A high heel smacked her in the back of the neck as she ran out the front door. "I come back later! I come back!"

Huey stared at the open front door with a blank expression, glancing over his shoulder towards their room. He shook his head, letting out a small breath of disbelief.

"What is _wrong _with you people?" He closed the door, picking up the heel and shuffling into their room, letting it fall onto the floor. Jazmine, who was tugging a shirt over her head, glanced at him. He shook his head when she opened her mouth, holding up a hand.

"You don't throw scales out of windows." His eyes narrowed. "You do not throw _anything _out of windows. And you definitely don't _throw shoes at the woman who owns our apartment building_!"

"She burst in on me naked!" Jazmine whined, sniffing. She was about to cry _again_.

"I don't care if she was eating your Ben and Jerry's and watching our TV!" He yelled. "You don't _do _that! I don't care how out-of-whack your hormones are or how…_fat _you feel! It doesn't give you an excuse to lose your goddamn mind!"

Jazmine blinked at him. He stared back, his chest heaving up and down from all the yelling he'd done. God, was it too much to ask just to have a nice, _peaceful _Monday morning? She swallowed, her lower lip jutting out. He closed his eyes, groaning.

"Jazmine, don't-"

"YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!" She cried, sinking down on the edge of the bed and bursting into tears, covering her face with her hands. He smacked his palm over his face. "Y-YOU DON'T L-L-LOVE-"

"Oh, my god, I _do _love you!" He yelled, throwing up his hands. She looked up, sniffing. "Just not when you're acting like a five year old!" She rubbed her eyes with her sleeve. "How the hell are you supposed to go to school when you're about as stable as a transuranic element?"

"W-what?"

"Oh, nevermind!" He shook his head. "Look, if I get a call from the police station to come and get you, I'm not coming. So I don't care how you do it, but _cool _it." He gave her a half stern, half exasperated look. "Okay?"

She made a face, sighing and staring at her feet.

"I…guess." She sighed again, her shoulders slumping. "I'm sorry."

"Good." He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, turning on his heel and walking out the room. "You're going to be late if you don't leave soon."

"Okay." Her voice was sad. He sighed, shuffling into the kitchen and digging in the refrigerator for some orange juice. Maybe he'd feel better if he got his full day supply of vitamin C-

Whoa. Now he was starting to sound like grandad. He shook his head as he attempted to wipe the thought from his mind, straightening when he heard a crash from in their room. He dropped the carton.

Oh, come _on_.

"What are you-" He froze in the doorway as he saw Jazmine leaning out the window again, turning around to give him a half guilty, half triumphant expression. He reluctantly went over to the window, gently pushing her aside and craning his neck out so he could see which appliance was the newest victim of Jazmine's wrath. He sighed, shaking his head as he saw their alarm clock (or what was left of it) lying on the pavement. He slowly turned his head to look at Jazmine, who was cringing.

"Um…bitch had it coming?"

He shook his head again, setting his jaw. She offered him an apologetic look. Their attention was diverted as they heard loud yelling from down below.

"Aye!" Earl was standing under their window, shaking his fist. "Aye!" He paused. "Ya'll got sum crack?"

"NO!" Huey yelled, slamming the window shut so hard that the glass shook. He trained an evil eye on Jazmine, who clasped her hands. "We're going to find you a hobby." He snorted. "Or tranquilizers-"

Jazmine sniffed, shaking her head sadly.

"I can't believe I gained six _pounds_." Her face scrunched up as she attempted to hold back more tears.

And…they were back to square one. Huey had a feeling that he'd need to get used to angry Jazmine _really _quick. Especially if gaining weight was going to make her get worked up like _this_.

If she was this bad when she gained a few pounds…how was she going to be _later_ when she resembled a mini version of a Goodyear blimp? She caught his look and cringed, grabbing her backpack.

"I'm…just going to go to school now." She crept to the front door, opening it and offering him a tiny wave. "Bye?"

He sighed, closing his eyes. "Goodbye, Jazmine."

He feared the terrors that she was about to unleash onto the outside world.

* * *

My friend was reading as I wrote this and laughed so hard I think she burst my eardrum (but she was sitting right beside me, sooo yeah). I hope you guys felt the same way.  
Well, minus the bursting of people's eardrums. That's just wrong...

-Kelsey


	16. Baby Depot

Er...I'm gonna make this note quick, since I'm trying to mediate two people who are demonstrating perfect forms of douchebaggery. First off, thank you to child who is cool, EclipseIllusion, and Goku's Daughter for the reviews! And secondly, BIGBIG thanks to Goku's Daughter for pointing out something I've been doing wrong for a long, long time (say, the entire time I've been writing stories, haha). I really appreciate it. And it's lucky I read your review RIGHT BEFORE I submitted this chapter so I could go back and fix the entire thing, otherwise you'd probably want to scissor kick me in the skull. :P

I loved some parts of this, was iffy of others...but I redid this chapter three times, so this is it and I'm sticking to it. Haha.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Baby Depot

"You know," Huey grumbled as Jazmine dragged him through the sliding double doors. "I really don't get why I have to be here."

"Because!" Jazmine paused, releasing his arm and taking a moment to glance around the massive store. "I didn't want to come alone."

"And I completely understand that." He shot a glare towards Riley, who also sauntered through the doors, stopping on Jazmine's other side. "However, if you forced _me _to come then why is _he _here as well?"

"Cuz, nigga!" Riley sucked his teeth. "I ain' gon let you try ta pick out no wack shit! You know you a goofy ass nerd. An goofy ass nerds don' know wat ta do in dez situations cuz dey usually can' find no broad willin' to let dem stick dey-"

"Riley, that's just crude." Jazmine shook her head, sighing loudly. "Can we just _please _try to be open-minded about this?" she glanced at her cell phone screen. "I have to be to work in three hours. And I have homework. And I'm achy and I can't breathe through my nose and I'm just _tired_. So can you two just please _not _start anything? Just, cut it out for twenty minutes?" She shot them both a look. "For me?"

"If you feel so bad then why drag us to a Baby Depot in tha first place?"

"Riley, it's pronounced _De-po_, not _De-pot_."

"Nigga, I say de-pot! Watchu gon do bout it?"

"Well I _could _buy you a dictionary so you could work on your pronunciation of words. However, since the effort would be futile I will settle for shaking my head and sighing at what a dumbass I have for a brother."

"I said _cut it out_," Jazmine said in the dangerous voice she had acquired since a human being began residing inside her. The voice that made anyone with half a brain _know_ that if they knew what was good for them they'd heed her words. The voice that made both Huey and Riley clamp their mouths shut immediately, giving each other nervous looks.

"_Fine_."

"Whateva, nigga."

She sighed. "Thank you." The three of them started further into the store, glancing around. She jammed her hands in her pockets. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"It's probably that damn _Snapple _you had on the way over here," Huey pointed out, shaking his head and giving her a severe look. "I've told you time and time again that it's straight poison, but nooo-"

"Don't nag." She gave him a dirty look. "You are forever complaining about-" Whatever she was about to say never came for she stopped, giving him a dumbfounded look as he froze in his tracks, staring forward. "What?" She rested a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Huey's eyes narrowed and he pointed straight ahead. She glanced in the direction of his finger, her own eyes widening. She looked back at him as he shook his head, turning on his heel and heading in the direction of the registers.

"Huey, come on." She walked after him, shaking her head. "Not now. _Please _not now."

"Wat?" Riley asked, coming to her side. Jazmine ignored him, instead tugging on Huey's sleeve.

"It's no big deal!"

"No big deal?" Huey practically shouted, stopping in his tracks, although not because Jazmine had been attempting to make him do so. It was only because a tall, blond man wearing a bright purple vest and a _store manager _pin was strolling past. "Excuse me, brotha."

Jazmine smacked her palm over her eyes. Riley straightened, interested. The man turned around.

"Yes?" He smiled, turning to face them. "How may I help you?"

"Huey, _don't_," Jazmine muttered from between clenched teeth. As usual, he ignored her, his eyes narrowing into slits.

"You can help me out by explaining to me why there are no other races shown in your store advertisements other than white people," he said, shrugging. The man blinked.

"Well." He scratched his head. "I-"

"Because, you see," Huey went on as Jazmine sighed, tapping her foot and glancing around the store. "Being that America is made up of people of all races, I don't feel as if it would be beneficial to me or my people to spend my hard earned money in an establishment that only caters to the standard white citizen." He eyed his name tag. "Now, do you think me having to be recognized as a second rate customer in this store is very fair, _Ron_?"

Ron swallowed, making a face. "I…don't make the ads, sir."

"Well, since you obviously have such authority within this particular branch of the Baby Depot franchise, don't you think you could find a resolution to this obvious problem if you put in enough effort?"

"Huey." Jazmine's eyes were dangerous. "Cut. It. Out."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Huey threw up his hands, his voice rising so that a generous portion of the store glanced towards them. Jazmine covered her face with her hands, shaking her head. Riley sucked his teeth, glaring around. "My apology for wanting to stomp out racism as opposed to continuing to live in the nineteenth century like everyone else seems so inclined to do!" He cut his eyes towards Ron, who was practically shaking.

"W-we value all our c-customers, sir-"

"Really?" Huey glanced around, snorting. "By "all" do you mean "all white"?"

"I'm so sorry, Ron." Jazmine yanked Huey's arm, making him glare towards her. "Just ignore him." She roughly tugged him away, smacking his arm as they head back across the store. "Are you _kidding _me, Huey?!" She released him, throwing up her own hands. "He has nothing to do with advertisement or ads! He's a freaking manager!"

"If you're not part of the solution," Huey said mildly, folding his arms over his chest. "Then you're part of the problem."

Jazmine blinked at him before shaking her head and clenching her fists. "Ugh. What_ever_." She stomped down one of the aisles, him following at a much slower pace behind her. "I should have just left you in the _car_…wait, where's Riley?"

"Tha fuck is dis bullshit?!"

"I think we have our answer," Huey replied, already heading towards the sound of Riley's shouting. Jazmine followed him a good five aisles down, where Riley was holding up a diaper bag, examining the price tag. A good fifteen people were staring at him, mixtures of curiosity and confusion prominent on their features. Huey and Jazmine stopped in their tracks.

"Who da hell in dey right mind gon pay sum fifty bucks fo sum bag ta put a damn diaper in?" he snapped, shaking the bag in a customer's face. "Shit, a motha fucka betta getta Wal-Mart plastic jank an call it a day!"

"Riley!" Huey marched over and snatched the bag, smacking him in the back of the head with it. "Calm down! Act like you've got some damn…wow." He examined the tag himself. "This really _is _fifty dollars. What the hell is corporate America thinking?"

"Huey-"

"No, seriously!" He thrust the price tag in Jazmine's frustrated face. "Look at this! Do you know how many third world countries have to be self sufficient and create the items they need from the mere resources they have around them? They _make _their needed supplies, Jazmine!"

"I'm sorry." Her voice was flat. "And what do you propose we do? Make our own things?" She massaged her temples with the tips of her fingers, closing her eyes. "You guys-" she started before opening her eyes again. She blinked.

"Er…guys?"

Both Huey and Riley had disappeared, the customers going back to their previous activities. She blinked again, sighing.

"Oh, come _on_…" She spun on her heel, wandering through the store to look for her wayward boyfriend and not-much-better boyfriend's brother. Honestly, she should _have _just come by herself. After a few moments of walking, she found them again on aisle ten, examining more prices.

"Who da _fuck _gon pay sum five ninety nine fo sum baby food?" Riley asked, tossing a glass bottle aside. Jazmine literally had to reach out and catch it to keep it from crashing to the floor and breaking. "Niggas betta learn ta put sum chit'ins in a blender and feed dat shit!"

"Riley, no one deserves to have to eat that mess," Huey said, shaking his head and examining a row of strollers. "However, I am pretty put off with the prices they have for something that an infant's not even going to need for more than a temporary space of time. Who's going to pay seven hundred dollars for a _stroller_?"

"Betta getta wheelbarrow an call it sumthin-"

"Or maybe teach your kid to _walk_." Huey snorted. Riley nodded.

"Hell. Yea. Back in da hood we ain' have no damn stroller. Shit, we wuz walkin when we came up out da womb."

"Okay, first off, I'm the one who started walking at six months." Huey gave his brother a smirk. "You didn't walk until you were almost two-"

"Shut up!" Riley sucked his teeth. "But tha stroller was still gone by mah third birthday, on tha real tho! Now I be seein' dem chunky ass six year olds chillin up in derr. If dat was mah kid I'd knock my fist into dem so hard dey'd lose twenty pounds on impact. Be like, "Nigga! Betta use yo gotdamn legs! Shit. " He shook his head. "Niggas slackin, son."

"Of course." Huey took a deep breath, obviously about to go into one of his lectures. "That's the problem with this country now. People are afraid to make their children _do _anything. Maybe if they'd walk themselves more the childhood obesity rate wouldn't be so damn high. Then I wouldn't have to hear all about these "Obesity prevention programs" that aren't only going to cost taxpayers more money, but won't serve to do anything for the people who don't care enough about personal wellness to utilize them, which is a good percentage of the population-"

"Why tha hell do you continue ta think I curr bout wat yo nerd self gotta say?" Riley shook his head and his older brother's ramblings. "Damn!"

Jazmine sighed, clearing her throat. Their heads whipped up and she folded her arms over her chest.

"What are you two doing?"

"Well, Riley's being his usual ignorant self and talking in gibberish," Huey said, dropping a rattle. "I am sitting here getting more appalled and disgusted by the prices of raising children through infancy." She sighed. "Don't make that "I-wish-he'd-shut-up" noise. I know what I'm talking about."

"Of course you do." She shook her head. His eyes narrowed.

"Don't patronize me." He gestured around the store. "This store, this…_establishment_-" he said the word as if it had a dirty taste to it. "Is exactly why the poverty rate in this country continues to rise. The government tries so hard to restrict methods of contraception and looks down on those individuals who decide they aren't ready for children, yet when said individuals decide to try and bring children into the world they not only make the prices of necessities fluctuate, but they also offer limited options to help young parents succeed within the community. It's as if they're going "Well, you should have kept it in your pants, so deal with it.""

"Actually," Riley said, shrugging. "You _shoulda_ kept it in yo pants, nigga. So deal wit it."

"Riley, _shut up_. Anyway," he went on, shaking his head. "It's also funny, and when I say funny I mean _pathetic_, how so many help programs are available when one _is _pregnant, but after the baby's born? Ha. You're on your own, sucker. I mean, look at the other developed countries. Look at Canada!" He raised his hands in an "Oh, well" gesture. "Canada has universal child care. In _fact_, Canada also has universal _health _care! Canada's got their shit together, Jazmine!"

"So…you want to move to Canada?"

"Damn _right _I want to move to Canada." He stepped away from one of the shelves, shaking his head. "America needs to get it _together_-"

"Alright, commie." Jazmine glanced towards Riley. "Well, do _you _have anything you'd like to add?"

Riley glanced between the couple before stuffing his hands in his coat pockets and kicking at the floor.

"Dis place _sucks_."

"Well, I'm glad we've gotten that all figured out." She sighed. She had a headache and a cold, and she really just wanted to go to sleep. Not only did she have a nine hour shift to look forward to, but she had homework…and more homework…and more homework…

Was it too much to ask to just be able to go look at some baby stuff and make a map of what they actually needed without everyone having a whole bunch of _crap _to say about it? She stuffed her own hands in her pockets, staring at the floor, tears building in her eyes. She could hear them both hissing behind her.

"Way ta go, nigga. You dun made her _cry_."

"Me?! I'm not the one who wants to put _pig intestines _in a blender and feed it to my child!" Huey glared at his brother. "That's probably the reason you're the way you are now! Consuming so much _crap_-"

Both of them froze as Jazmine suddenly squealed and their heads whipped towards her as she suddenly hugged some random guy who had appeared out of nowhere, a huge grin on her face. "Where have you _been_?!" she practically screamed. Riley's eyebrows shot up.

"Who da hell dat pretty boy?"

Huey's own eyes narrowed. "Cameron," he replied in a not-to-happy voice.

Twenty-four Cameron Hill, a graduate student at the same school Jazmine went to, was one of Jazmine's friends who obviously had an interest in her. Not only did they both go to Northwestern but they were both Math majors, they were both raised in Boston, _and _their grandparents happened to have known each other. Their similarities were sickening.

Of course, since Jazmine was friendly to everyone she was oblivious to it. However, Huey himself wasn't stupid. He could see that mess, even if she couldn't.

"What are you _doing _here?" Jazmine asked, _finally _letting him go and giving him a sunny smile.

"Yeah," Huey added grudgingly. "What _are _you doing here?"

Riley cackled. Cameron looked past Jazmine and offered Huey a wave.

"Hey, man!" He turned back to Jazmine, not noticing the mocking face Huey made or the rude hand gesture that Riley put up. "Well, my sister's having a baby, so I'm getting her a gift for her baby shower."

"Oh, cool!" Jazmine grinned. He shrugged.

"Yeah. And you're…having one, too?"

"Yeah, she is. _We _are," Huey added, coming up beside her and wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Cameron nodded, smiling. Jazmine gave him a warning look.

"Well, congratulations." He glanced back at Jazmine. "You're still in school, right?"

"Yeah." She frowned. "But it's not as easy as I thought it would be." When both Cameron and Huey gave her questioning looks she sighed. "I've got a problem. And it starts with "Combinational" and ends in "Number Theory"."

"Uh…" A confused look fell over Riley's face. Both Huey and Jazmine gaped at him with looks of disbelief. He snapped his fingers. "Ooh, wait! Don' tell me, I almost got it…"

"_Combinational Number Theory_, moron!" Jazmine yelled, giving him an exasperated look. He smacked his lips.

"Oh, why I gotta be all dat, tho?"

"It's Combinational Number Theory." Jazmine shook her head, looking back at Cameron. "I don't get it."

It didn't take much to shock the young radical who stood beside her, but this definitely took the cake. "Wait, _what_?"

They'd been back in school for almost two weeks and she'd failed to mention this to him, yet she could just tell some random guy from her school about it? Not to mention…Jazmine being bad at math was like, in Riley's words, Jesus smoking crack.

"I know!" Jazmine nearly wailed. "It's just…I don't know what's _wrong_!"

"You tested into high school calculus before you even hit fourteen," He pointed out, shaking his head in disbelief. She nodded, sighing.

"I know."

"You tutored college students in trig when you were _thirteen_."

"I know," she repeated sadly.

"You won the regional Math Club championship for our school senior year by solving a trick question involving _quantum mechanics_ and did the entire problem in your _head_."

"Huey, I know!" she shot back, her voice shrill and tears building in her eyes. Cameron glanced at him.

"Pointing all that out isn't exactly the best way to help her feel better," he said mildly. Jazmine gave Cameron a grateful look. Huey cut his eyes at him.

He really wanted to punch this guy in the face. _That _would help him feel better.

Jazmine sighed causing all three men to glance at her. "I _can't _get it. I can't focus. It's just hard all of sudden and-"

"Hol up, hol up." Riley gave her a look. "Nigga, ain' you a math major?"

"_Yes_!" She rolled her eyes. "Like, I just keep thinking something and writing something completely different and having to redo the whole thing, or I just space out, or-"

"How da hell you don' get math if you majorin' in it?" Riley asked. Huey rolled his eyes. Jazmine burst into tears, covering her face with hands.

"The problem's obvious," Huey pointed out. Jazmine's head whipped up, her face streaked with tears. Cameron observed them all with an indescribable look on his face. "What's the difference between this semester and last semester?"

Jazmine swallowed, wiping her nose with the back of her hand. "…it's winter?"

"Um…no."

She hiccupped. "It's different classes?"

Huey rolled his eyes. "Try again."

"Ooh, I know!" Riley waved his hand as if he were in school. "She lost brain cells!"

"_No_-"

"It's colder?"

"Are you two _kidding_-"

"Her professa's mo dumber?"

"_I'm _dumber?"

"Oh, my god…you're pregnant!" he yelled, causing everyone to blink at him. "Seriously? Of _all _the things to come to your head you missed the most obvious?"

She hiccupped again. "You mean…the baby's making me _stupid_?"

"You won't dat bright ta begin wit-" Riley cut off abruptly as Jazmine threw a pacifier she picked out of a bin at him, whacking him in the face. "Ow!"

"You're not stupid." Huey shook his head, ignoring them. "Your concentration's just off. Something tells me that's not uncommon giving the circumstances."

"Well, what am I going to _do_?" Jazmine waited, burying her face in her hands again.

"Aiight, dis what you do." Riley sat up, giving Jazmine a look. "First, we ride up in his office, rite? Den we choke dat nigga fo thinkin he can just tell you what you can and can't do-"

"Riley, no." Huey held up a hand. "Just stop. You're done."

"I don't wanna talk about it anymore," Jazmine mumbled, folding her arms over her chest. "I really don't."

"Well, I took that class my third year of my undergrad," Cameron said with a smile, tucking his hands into his pockets. "Got an A." Jazmine's face visibly brightened. "If you want, I could help you with it."

"Really?!" Jazmine gushed, her eyes so bright there were practically stars in them.

"Don't you have your _own _classes to worry about?" Huey pointed out in an annoyed voice. "After all, graduate school's got to be more intense."

"It is." Cameron glanced towards the mulatto. "But I can always make time for Jazmine."

The entire store could have burned to the ground with them inside and Jazmine wouldn't have noticed. Her face got so happy it was as if she'd just won a million dollars.

"That's so sweet!" She cried out, clasping her hands together. Huey rolled his eyes. "That would be perfect!"

"Great! I'll call you." Cameron turned around, nodding towards the other two. "Good seeing you again, Huey." He glanced at Jazmine. "See you around, Jazzy."

"Bye!" Jazmine waved, beaming. Huey sucked his teeth.

"Uh huh." He rolled his eyes as Cameron rounded the corner. Riley made a gagging sound. "Whatever."

"Be _nice_." Jazmine threw his arm off her, glaring at him. "He's a good guy!"

"Pssh. If you into bitch niggas." Riley snorted. "Den again you wit Huey, so- OW!" Huey had smacked him in the back of the head. "Don' get mad at me cuz I'm tellin tha truth!"

"Do _not _put me in the same category as that guy," Huey said, shaking his head. "He's a complete-"

"Complete _what_?"

He looked at Jazmine, who had her arms crossed over her chest, her eyes narrowed. Riley grit his teeth, making an Uh-oh face.

"Don' do it, man." He shook his head. "Don' go thur-"

"Oh, no." Jazmine gave him a challenging look. Huey's own eyes narrowed. "I'm interested. I want to hear. I bet it's _fascinating_."

Huey, who was never a fan of his ever-so-famous sarcasm being used against himself, glared. "I think he's a complete drain on society," he said bluntly. Her eyebrows lifted. "I think he is a standard conformist, the very people that make our society as corrupt and unproductive as it currently is. An uncle Tom, if you will." Behind him, Riley's cheeks puffed up from the laughter he was holding in. "And I think-"

Jazmine held up a hand, shaking her head.

"Soooo basically…you have no valid reasoning behind your disdain for him," she stated plainly. "You're just being your usual judgmental self."

His eyebrows shot up. Way up.

"What?" he snapped. "Are you kidding me?"

"Do I _look _like I'm kidding?" she shot back, pointing to her serious expression. "You're so judgmental I'm surprised you're not a judge _already_. Just because he doesn't go around yelling at store managers for a cause, doesn't have an attitude problem, and doesn't proclaim his hatred for white Jesus-"

"Oh, so I have an attitude problem?"

"Huey! _Duh_!"

"Well, you know what I think?"

"Ooh! Obviously it doesn't matter if I do or not since you're about to tell me!"

Riley sighed, shaking his head the same way he did whenever Huey and Jazmine started arguing in public. Which was…quite frequently, actually. He was surprised no one ever called the cops.

Well…minus that one time.

"Sorry I'm not _nice _enough for you! Newsflash, Jazmine: I've never been a nice person!"

"And a Newsflash to you: I've known that for the past ten years!"

Geez. They sure were loud.

"Sorry I'm not an impressionable, gullible-"

"I am _not _gullible! You're just a jerk!"

"I'm a jerk? At least I'm not a-"

"Aye! Ya'll niggas need ta shut the hell up!" Riley yelled, causing both their heads to whip towards him. He sucked his teeth. "Damn! Can't take ya'll nowhere!" He glanced at Huey. "Nigga, I don' known why you feel da need to be jealous of dat goddamn crackbaby, but he ain' worth nothin, so don' even worry bout it."

"Jealous?" Huey glared at him. "Why the hell would I be jealous of that-"

"An Jazzy fresh," he said, giving her a look. "Don' be actin all brand new like you ain' know Huey was a judgmental, attitude having jerk before ya'll started datin' in tha' first place."

"_Thank _you…wait, what?!" Huey snapped. Jazmine sighed, folding her arms over her chest.

"Well, what_ever_." She stomped her foot. "Fine. _Fine_!" They both blinked at her, surprised. "All I wanted to do was just come to freaking Baby Depot to try and get a feel of this whole baby having thing! But obviously I'm the _only person who cares_!" Her fists clenched. "Well, if _you _two aren't going to care, then _I _won't care, either." She spun around, stomping around the corner. "I'm going to sit in the car!"

The Freeman brothers watched her walk away, blinking in surprise. Riley whistled.

"Wat da hell we do?"

"You're acting like _ignorant niggas_, that's what you're doing!" she screamed, causing them to jump. "Damn! _Done_ playin round here!"

"Damn." Huey shook his head, sighing. "She's _pissed_." He glanced towards Riley. "The only times she's ever used the word nigga is when someone stole her iPod while we she was in a Twister contest in the park, when her Physics teacher messed up her grade, and when…well…you remember that entire Maya thing-"

"Ya know," Riley stroked his chin. "Dis don't happen too often, but…I feel kinda bad."

Huey snorted, jamming his hands in his pockets. "Between me and you, I do, too. I mean," he glanced around before lowering his voice. "We're so close to the poverty line we've practically got our own address on it. And we just can't _afford _most this shit. And I know she knows that, but it's pretty frustrating."

"Dat's why ya'll niggas needs ta let us throw ya'll a baby shower!" Riley threw up his hands. "I won' wellin' when I said ya'll gon get mad free shit!" He sucked his teeth. "I know you's a bitch who be thinkin' free shit is code fa "charity case" but you can't really afford ta be proud. Like, forreal."

He sighed. "I know."

"Good!" Riley cackled, rubbing his hands together. "Ima hook it _up_. It's gon be da baddest baby shower round dis bitch." He made a face. "Well, Ima get somebody else ta plan dat shit cuz I ain' got no time fo dat mess, but yeah. Shit gon be on _point_."

"Can we just get out of this place before she drives off without us?" Huey asked, rubbing his head. "I wouldn't put it past her. She already threw our toaster out the window because it burned her bread a few days ago…"

"Yea yea, whateva." The two set off for the exit, their hands in their pockets, both of them peaceful with the knowledge that no matter what the world handed to them, they could always count on each other.

"…Nigga, can you walk in fronta me? We lookin hella faggoty."

"Good point."

…Well, almost.

* * *

Go Canada!

And, as usual, thanks for reading! :D

-Kelsey


	17. Daddy Daycare

Update? Really? Holy cheese!

Heh, thanks to child who is cool, Goku's Daughter, xXMissJanuary1996Xx, redbone18, and EclipseIllusion for the reviews! And thanks to MzMinni3 for reading this in advance so I could be sure it wasn't too sucky to put up. haha.

And no, I'm not from Canada (sadly). I just have a fascination with it. :P

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Daddy Daycare

Ah. Sunday.

It was the day of rest. A day of relaxation. A day of sleeping in and forgetting one's troubles…

"Hey!"

Huey didn't even have time to prepare himself before he was being pounced on by a wide awake Jazmine, who was her usual typical, disgustingly cheerful self.

_Ugh_.

"_What_?" Huey groaned, stuffing his pillow over his head. He would have usually tossed her aside to her own side of the bed like a sack of potatoes but that obviously wouldn't be a good thing to do now with her current condition and all. He was normally a pretty early riser, but that was before he'd taken on extra shifts at his job. Add in an assault of assigned papers, exam dates, and thesis after thesis that his professors decided to spring on him and it just became ridiculous.

So, he didn't exactly appreciate being awakened when he had the day off.

Too bad _she _had other plans.

"Huey." She shook his shoulder. "_Huey_."

"Jazmine, _what_?" He tossed the pillow aside, suddenly sitting up and grabbing her arms to keep her from toppling off the bed. "You _know_ I'm awake. The repetitive name calling is completely uncalled for."

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "_Sorry_."

"Yeah, don't be." He yawned. "Just tell me what you want."

She flopped beside him, resting her hands in her lap and giving him an oddly suspicious look. That was when he noticed that unlike himself she was fully dressed, fully awake…and it wasn't even eight in the morning yet. A big red flag suddenly rose in his mind.

Unless school or work was involved, Jazmine was never awake before ten. _Ever_. There was no amount of money, no type of food, no sort of bribery that could get her to rouse herself. Shit, the entire apartment building could burst into flames and she'd just wave off the smoke and go back to sleep.

Which meant…she was planning something. His eyes narrowed.

"What did you do?"

She looked surprised…but not surprised enough.

"What do you mean?"

"You _know _what I mean." He let his eyes scan the perimeter, looking for any missing items. She'd gotten good at destroying whatever appliances made her angry, which he'd managed to wean her off of when he mentioned how replacing that stuff added up. For all he knew she'd relapsed as he slept his troubles away. _Damn _it…

To his relief she seemed to read his mind and quickly shook her head. "Everything's still there."

"Then why are you making the face?"

"What face?"

"You know the face!" He threw up his hands. "The if-I-look-innocent-and-cute-enough-maybe-he-won't-be-_too_-mad-at-me face."

She sat up. "Is it working?"

"No!"

Her shoulders slumped. "Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." He snorted. "So, whatever it is, I recommend you just tell me now, because sooner or later I'm going to figure it out."

She sighed. "Oh, alright." After a few seconds of silence she glanced at him. "Did I ever tell you how nice I think that shirt looks on you?"

He blinked. "I'm not wearing a shirt."

"Exactly."

"Jazmine, get on with it."

"Okay, okay!" She waved her hands, swallowing. "Now. Um, don't get mad…and I can't begin to emphasis that point enough-"

"Jazmine!"

"Fine!" She closed her eyes, gritting her teeth. "I'm going to run some errands with Riley."

He blinked. After a few seconds of silence he tilted his head to the side.

"That's it?" He snorted, rolling back over. "Since when the hell is that such a big…wait." He sat back up, giving her an incredulous stare. "_Riley _agreed to do errands."

She nodded.

"With _you_."

She nodded again. After he stared at her for a little longer he shook his head.

"Then you obviously haven't told me everything, because there's no way he'd agree to that for no reason."

"Yeahhhh…about that." Jazmine put on a nervous smile. "He kind of agreed to go with me so he wouldn't have to babysit today. He has some project to finish for school and it involves math so I told him I'd help him. Only we have to go pick up some stuff for it and it wouldn't make sense to drag the baby in the cold so…" She paused, taking a deep breath, closing her eyes. "I-just-may-have-possibly-kinda-told-him-that-you-could-babysit."

There was a long, tense silence. After a good minute of the quiet Jazmine cracked an eye open, glancing at Huey, who was blinking at her in disbelief.

"_What_?" he asked. When she went to open her mouth he shook his head. "I'm sorry, for a second I thought you said we were going to _babysit_?"

"Er…" Jazmine scratched the back of her neck. "Not we…_you_?" He exhaled through his nose. "So, is that okay?"

"No! Jazmine, what the hell?" Huey threw up his hands, his loud voice making her cover her ears. "Have you officially lost your mind? What were you _thinking_?!"

"I was _thinking_-" Jazmine argued, her palms still pressed to her ears. "That it would be a good opportunity for you to get some experience with children since you have absolutely none! And you kind of need a little bit of it if you're going to _have _one!"

"In that case, buy me a goddamn cabbage patch kid!" he snapped, rolling his eyes. She dropped her hands, shooting him a look. "_Damn, _Jazmine! You could have warned me!"

"Nuh uh! You would've refused to do it!"

"What, like I'm going to refuse to now?"

Jazmine sighed, giving him a look. "Huey, come on." She frowned. "We're not even going to be gone more than an hour. Two, tops. I'm trying to help _you_. Me? I _love _children! I babysat for most of my childhood _and_ got that summer job at that nursery downtown one year. You…you just hate kids." She snorted. "In fact, you're just…a bit of a hateful person."

He looked genuinely offended. "Am not."

"Huey, you tied Riley up and locked him in a _closet _when you were home alone with him. And you were only _ten_."

"Well…that was-"

"_And_," she continued, ignoring him. "When a little kid at the park asked you to play with him you told him that you didn't play with _his kind_ and asked how it felt to be on the receiving end of racism for once in his life. You made him cry!"

"But-"

"Don't forget," she added, pointing at him. "When Caesar's little cousin Angela came and wanted you to read her a bedtime story. You made up a story of how an evil army made up of dinosaurs, zombies, and the entire continent of Asia would come and storm the castle of a princess whose father had imprisoned them all to use them for cheap labor!"

"I," he said, scowling. "Was using my _imagination_."

"You were crushing the spirit of a three year old _girl_!" Jazmine shot back. "She didn't know what a bipartisanship was! She was _three_!"

"Alright, alright alright!" Huey held up a hand, sighing reluctantly. "So maybe I could use a little more experience with children-"

"_A little_?"

He shot her a dirty look. "Isn't that what I said?"

She made a face. He folded his arms over his chest and glared at her.

"So." He shrugged when she gave him a puzzled look. "When's this…_kid _coming?"

_Knock knock knock_.

"Um…" Jazmine cringed as he shot her a hostile look. "Right now?" She got off the bed, rushing out the room while he continued to shake his head, sighing loudly and climbing out the bed.

There went _his _Sunday.

"So, exactly how long am I gonna be stuck with-"

His question was drowned out by a loud, excited squeal.

"Awwww! She's so cute!"

"What?" Huey threw on a t shirt and stepped into the hallway, glancing at Riley's growing smirk before glancing towards Jazmine. "What are you...the hell?"

In the middle of the hallway sat a stroller. And in the middle of the stroller sat a too familiar baby. A baby who, upon spotting him, pointed to his afro and grinned.

"Cookie!"

"Awww." Jazmine grinned down at her, laughing when the little girl gripped her index finger. "She's adorable!"

"Yea, dat's Maggie." Riley raised his eyebrows towards his brother, who was glaring at him.

"Um, I hope Maggie's going with you!" This could _not _be the baby he had to watch. No way.

"Huey!" Jazmine shot him a dirty look. "That's not very nice."

"Yea." Riley rolled his eyes. "If you must know, home girl really wanted to see you."

"Cookie!"

"Riley, her saying she wanted to see "cookie" does nothing to narrow it down." He shot him a dirty look. "Why do you even have her?"

"Cuz, nigga." Jazmine covered Maggie's tiny ears, shooting Riley a dirty look which he easily missed. "Andre got called inta work an I ain't have school so I volunteered ta watch her. But I remembered I gotta project due tomorrow an I ain' tryna flunk outta school. So c'mon!" He snapped his fingers towards Jazmine. "Bring yo ass. I don got all day."

Huey eyed Maggie warily. The little girl stared up at him with curious brown eyes while trying to gnaw on Jazmine's hand. She smiled.

"Aww," she cooed. "How could no one want to watch such a cute little thing like you?"

"Yeah." Riley glanced down at Maggie, shaking his head. "I mean, if Huey really don't wanna watch her then I _guess _I could take her-"

"_Thank you."_

_"I_ don't mind, but I don't know how little Mags is gonna take it," Riley went on, shrugging. "I mean, it's cold outside. Real cold. I'd hate to drag her back in that for no reason."

Huey's eyes narrowed.

"And havin her round so many strangers at tha store? All dem mouth breathin niggas wit dey diseases an shit?" He shook his head again. "Damn. I don' know how her little immune system would take it."

"Are you _serious_."

"An' it _is _pneumonia season-"

"Alright, alright! _Damn_." Huey sighed, rolling his eyes. "I'll..." he cringed. "Babysit."

Riley cackled. Jazmine grinned.

"You're the best!" she exclaimed, wrestling her hand from Maggie's grasp and throwing her arms around him. He closed his eyes, groaning.

"Whatever."

"I love you!"

"I'm sure."

She glared at him. He glared back. Riley snapped his fingers.

"We's on a time schedule, mofo! Now bring yo big ass on here…_ow_!" Jazmine had smacked him in the back of the head as she walked past, getting her coat out the closet. "You lucky you pregnant, cuz I'd be tearin inta dat ass right now. Actin all hard n shit."

"Have fun! We won't be gone long!" Jazmine called as Riley literally pushed her out the front door. Huey rolled his eyes, watching the door closing behind them before sighing, turning towards Maggie. She was observing her surroundings, blinking like an owl and chewing on her baby blanket. He dropped his hands to his sides, standing in front of her.

"So." This was awkward. "Do you want to stay in the stroller?"

She stared up at him like he was nuts. He nodded, exhaling through his nose.

"Right." He slowly unbuckled her, gingerly lifting her out of the seat and setting her down on the sofa. She stared up at him, her small fist curled around the blanket. Well at least she was a _quiet _baby.

"So...do you like TV?"

She blinked. "Cookie?"

"No. TV." He pointed to the television set. "As in that big thing over there."

Maggie yawned.

"Yeah, I'm not too crazy about it, either." He eyed her suspiciously. "You don't have to throw up again, do you?"

She stared.

"I'm not…too crazy about the throwing up."

"Cookie?"

"Okay, do you say anything other than- Ouch!" He cupped his left eye as the remote that Maggie had thrown at him clattered to the floor.

"You're a cookie!"

"_You're _a cookie! Geez." He picked up the remote she'd thrown at his eye and stood up, going to the bathroom to look at it. "_Damn_."

He cut on the light, leaning forward and staring in the mirror at his eye. To his complete mortification there was an angry looking welt forming under it. He'd just gotten knocked in the face by a two year old!

"Thanks, Maggie." He cut off the light, shaking his head and walking back towards the couch. "Really. You're the-" he froze in his tracks. "Best." His eyes narrowed.

The couch was empty, and there was no sign of her anywhere.

"Maggie." God, he didn't have _time _for this! He glanced around the living room, sighing and clenching his fists. "Are you _serious_?"

He heard a soft giggling from the kitchen and rushed into it to see one of the cabinets under the sink open, a baby butt sticking in the air. He rolled his eyes.

"Maggie!" He snapped, causing her to spin around. She had a pot on her head, covering her eyes. He crouched down beside her, trying to take it off, but she grabbed the handle with her tiny fists.

"Mine!"

"Ah! She says a new word!" His voice was filled with sarcasm. "Maggie, no. Pots are bad. Don't you have a coloring book?"

"You coloring book!"

"That's mature…wow." He blinked at her, slightly impressed. "You actually talk."

Maggie lifted the pot off her head, setting it down beside her. She pointed at his eye, frowning.

"Ouch."

"Yeah, ouch." He pointed to it. "See this? It sucks. You can't just go around hitting- _holy shit_!" She'd grabbed another pan and slung it at his shoulder before running off again, laughing. He glared at her.

"Cookie!"

He caught up to her and grabbed her by the back of her dress. "No cookies!" he yelled, making her stop in surprise. She stared up at him, her lower lip jutting out and her big eyes filling with tears. Before he knew it she was flopping down on the carpet and bursting into loud wails.

"I don't care!" he yelled, throwing up his arms. "You don't go around _Chris Browning people_! That's not a good look, Maggie!"

She kept crying. After a few seconds he sighed, his shoulders slumping.

"Okay, what?" He flopped down on the floor beside her, resting his hands on his knees. "What do you want?" When Maggie only began to cry harder as a response he winced.

The whole crying thing…was _really _uncomfortable.

"Okay, okay!" He threw up his hands. "Do you want a cookie?"

Maggie stopped crying abruptly. She sniffed, staring at him as if trying to decide whether he was being serious. After a few moments she nodded, sniffing again.

"You mean."

"_Me_? You hit me with a frying pan!"

"You _mean_!"

"I'm not the one beating you up!"

"You mean _cookie_." She glared at him, standing up and tapping his nose with her index finger. "Bad cookie."

"Maggie, I'm not a cookie." Honestly, what was with this girl and cookies? She shrugged, turning on her heel and walking back towards the hallway.

"La la la la la…" she sang, her voice fading the further away she went.

Huey stared after her, blinking. Okay, he'd just got hit in the face, hit in the shoulder, and called mean within five minutes. Was that a good thing? Then, he did a double take.

Where was she going?

"What are you doing?" he called, getting up and following her. He reached the hallway just in time to see the bathroom door closing. "Maggie! What the hell?"

"I potty!"

He stopped.

Oh, good _lord_.

"Can you even reach the toilet?" He called, freezing in front of the door. What did he do at this point? She was a…she! He'd seen too many dateline programs (courtesy of Jazmine) where some babysitter or relative had gotten child molestation charges for this kind of thing. He was _not _gonna be some registered sex offender trying to help a little girl pee.

But what if she got it all over the floor?

What if she got it on the floor and he had to _clean _it?

He shook his head, bursting into the bathroom. His jaw dropped.

"What the-"

Maggie had flipped over the trashcan so that she could climb on the toilet, which she was balancing on with both hands so she wouldn't fall in. She blinked at him, shooting him a dirty look.

"No boys allowed!"

"Fine by me," he mumbled, closing the door and shaking his head. He gave the bathroom door a stunned look before going into his room and getting his cell phone. He dialed a familiar number and pressed the phone to his ear, going back into the hallway to sit in front of the bathroom door. After a few rings an annoyed voice picked up.

"No, nigga, we ain' comin ta get her-"

"Riley, shut up." He rolled his eyes. "You could've told me she was potty trained."

"Oh, so I gotta _tell _you shit now?" Riley snorted into the phone. "Like you can' figure it out yoself? Yeah nigga, she potty trained. Dat's why I ain' kno why you was complainin bout havin ta watch her, she easy as hell ta-"

_Crash._

"I…gotta go." Huey hung up the phone getting up and cracking the door open to peek inside. Maggie was sitting on the floor, the trashcan knocked over beside her and one of the shelves to the cabinet lying on the floor in front of her. She was waving a rectangular black pouch in her left hand, grinning.

"Whee!"

He sighed, rolling his eyes. "I don't know how you did that, but okay." He pressed his hand over his eyes. "Are you done yet?"

"Duh!" She giggled, tossing the pouch up and catching it. His eyes narrowed.

"What do you…hey!" He snatched it from her, stuffing it in his back pocket and rolling his eyes. "That's Jazmine's birth control! You don't…well, she obviously doesn't need it anymore." He sighed again. "Don't you…I don't know, take a nap?"

Alright, so it was eight in the morning. She stood up, straightening her skirt and staring up at him.

Well, at least he didn't have to worry about changing diapers. That would be the worst. He stepped aside as she flounced past him, strutting down the hallway as if she owned the place. He shook his head, picking up the door to the cabinet and trying to figure out how to fix it. He exhaled through his nose, considering ways to bribe the girl to just sit still, when a pair of flowery underwear smacked him in the back of the neck. He spun around, jumping back and swatting them to the floor as if they were a flesh eating virus.

"Maggie!" he yelled at the now naked little girl, who had for some reason taken it upon herself to throw all her clothes through the hallway. She clapped her hands together, laughing. "Maggie, if you don't put your damn clothes on, I swear-"

"Whee!" She took off running again, disappearing around the corner. He buried his face in his hands.

What did he do to deserve this?

He chased after her, stopping when he realized that once again, she was missing. How in the world could a two year old get lost in an apartment? It wasn't even that big!

"I ain't playin with you, little girl!" he shouted. "If you aren't in here in five seconds-"

What, he was gonna beat her ass? She wasn't his kid! He could go to jail! Her father would probably try to kill him! To be honest, he wouldn't blame him. Someone beating a kid that wasn't their own was basically asking for a beat down.

Well, just because he wasn't going to whoop her ass didn't mean he couldn't _pretend _he would.

"Five!"

He couldn't believe he was doing this.

"Four!"

He didn't hear anything. Damn. He hoped she hadn't knocked herself out or tripped over something. He was pretty sure Riley and Jazmine wouldn't be too pleased to come back to a dead infant.

"Three!"

He thought he heard a sound coming from his room, but he didn't even move. He folded his arms over his chest, his eyes narrowing towards it.

"Two!"

She was definitely coming now. He could hear tiny feet shuffling on the carpet.

"One!"

And then, Maggie appeared. At first he merely stared at her, his arms dropping to his sides and his fists clenching. This little girl hadn't been here for an _hour _and she was terrorizing him. She'd nearly given him a black eye. She'd practically dislocated his shoulder. She'd broken his cabinet, she was playing pin-the-undies-on-the-black-girl, and…

He took a deep breath. He opened his mouth…

And he burst out laughing.

He couldn't help it. Maggie had somehow gotten into their closet and was now wearing one of his t shirts, a pair of Jazmine's heels, and some fireman helmet that Riley had left ages ago (though where he'd gotten it from, Huey didn't even want to know). She'd even found a tube of lipstick and had smeared it all over her face, and her eyes were covered by a pair of his sunglasses. The funniest part was when she struck a pose.

When older people pulled that sort of stunt, it was just plain creepy. But there was something about a two year old that made it somewhat cute.

Annoying. But cute.

"You look ridiculous." He shook his head, pointing down the hallway. "Wanna put _your _clothes on now?"

She shook her head, pouting.

"Well, you kind of have to." He pointed to her. "That stuff doesn't belong to you."

Maggie made a face.

"Mine?"

"No." He shook his head. "It's not."

She seemed to be contemplating the situation in her head. He had to admit, she seemed pretty bright. After a few moments she tapped her chin with a stubby finger.

"Ham sammich?"

He made a face of his own. "You want a ham sandwich?"

She nodded.

"I don't know if we have any." Her eyes widened. "I don't eat ham. And Jazmine's not supposed to have too much of that sort of thing right now so I threw it all out. She's probably still mad about that, but…" He realized that he was having a one sided conversation with a two year old and clamped his mouth shut. She thrust her other hand out, exposing the tube of lipstick.

"You turn?"

He snorted. "I ain't wearin that mess. I'm a man, Maggie. Men don't wear lipstick. Well," he went on thoughtfully. "Not most men. But I don't want…aye!"

"You turn!" Maggie yelled, throwing herself around his legs and hanging on like a koala bear. "You be pretty!"

"No!" he shot back, leaning against the wall to keep from losing his balance. "I don't want to be pretty!"

"Be _pretty_, cookie!"

"Goddamn it!" He tugged her off his legs, holding her away at arm's length so they were eye level and shooting her a dirty look. "I am _not _your Barbie doll! I am a _boy_! Boys don't like that stuff, okay?"

Maggie blinked at him. In response she reached up, grabbing a fistful of his hair and giving it a hard yank.

"_Ouch_!"

She laughed, reaching up with both hands and petting his head. She was _petting _him. "Good pony!"

"I'm _not _a pony, I'm a cookie! I mean…ugh!" He set her back down, shaking his head and flopping on the couch. "What_ever_." He lay back, tucking his hands behind his head and glared at the ceiling. Stupid Jazmine for springing this on him with no warning. Stupid Riley for going along with it. Stupid-

"Cookie?"

Great. Maggie was pushing his shoulder back and forth, blinking at him. When he merely stared at her she pulled on his hair again and held out the tube towards him.

"You turn?"

He sighed, taking the tube from her and, to both of their surprise, opened it and drew a smiley face on the back of his hand. He showed it to her, capping the lipstick and handing it back.

"Happy?"

She stared at his hand, lifting it with her own two hands to examine it further. She glanced at his face, a slow smile creeping along her face. She set the makeup on the coffee table, climbing onto the couch and flopping on his chest.

"Friend, cookie?"

He glanced at her in surprise. She was smiling, reaching up to play in his hair again. He snorted.

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugged. "Whatever."

She giggled again, sitting up and grabbing the remote from beside him. Instead of knocking him upside the head again like he'd expected she yawned, flopping on the opposite end of the sofa. He sat up as her eyes closed.

Holy crap. Was she actually gonna go to _sleep_? It would be like Christmas coming early! He stared down at her. Sure enough, she was rolling over, clutching the remote like it was a lifeline.

Well. That was quick.

He let out a long sigh of relief, picking up her blanket off the floor so that he could cover her with it. Only as he shook it out he happened to notice a bit of upside down writing etched into it. He turned it over and inspected the blanket closer so that he could make out the tidy, stitched lettering in the lower right hand corner.

_"Magdalena Leigh Blackburn, February 7, 2007," _he mumbled, glancing towards her and smirking. "Hey. We have the same birthday."

Since she was already knocked out it wasn't as if she cared either way. He folded the blanket neatly over her and stretched, turning to the opposite end of the couch and lying down as well. He closed his eyes, just so he could get a few minutes of shut eye…

…and then he was being awakened by a bright flash.

"What the-" his eyes shot open to see Riley and Jazmine standing over him, laughing. Riley was snapping pictures on his camera phone while Jazmine had out her digital camera to get copies of her own. "What are you two _doing_?"

"Oh, it was so precious!" Jazmine cooed, grinning. Riley was still laughing too hard to add anything. Noticing the extra weight on him, Huey looked down to see Maggie sleeping on his chest, her little lips parted as she drooled on his shirt. "You looked so peaceful!"

"I was not!" he shot back, his face coloring. "This little brat nearly killed me!"

"Didn't look like she was killing you to me," Jazmine replied calmly with a shrug. Riley snickered.

"The only thing dyin right now is Huey's masculinity-"

"Nigga, get out my house!" Huey snapped before realizing she was still sleeping. He made a face. "And do it _quietly_."

Wrong words. Jazmine and Riley's eyes widened.

"Aw! How sweet!" Jazmine giggled, snapping another photo. Huey went to shield his face with his hands.

"Nigga goin all soft," Riley cackled.

"Just get this child _off _me," Huey mumbled, rolling his eyes. Jazmine gently retrieved the girl, resting her against her shoulder as if she were an expert. Which, compared to him, she was. Riley smirked as Jazmine carried Maggie into their room.

"Nigga, you-"

"I don't wanna hear it." He held up a hand, shaking his head.

"But-"

"No."

Riley shrugged. "Fine."

For a moment, there was silence. Then-

"Gay!"

"Aurgh!" Huey glared at him. "I am never babysitting _again_."

"Damn." Riley gave him a look. "It was dat bad?"

Huey opened his mouth. Before he could reply, however, he glanced towards the baby blanket, balled up in the corner of the sofa. He sighed, glancing back at his brother.

"No," he admitted reluctantly. "It wasn't."

Riley nodded, seemingly satisfied. His eyes fell on Huey's hand and he made a face.

"Why you gotta smiley face on yo hand fo?"

* * *

So yeahhh, this one was a bit long. Thanks for reading! You know you wanna review...

You don't? Well, do it anyway!

...No? Well, geez. Fine. :sniffle:

-Kelsey


	18. An Ode to Fun Bags

Chapter eighteen! Woooo! Thanks to grumpirah, xXMissJanuary1996Xx, child who is cool, MizzC, and Kagome_313 for the reviews!

Okay, I'm just gonna say it now...this chapter could potentially be seen as OOC. Once again, I beg to differ. Hormones make people crazy. But hey, call it what you want. It is what it is. So yeahhhhh. There's really _not _much more I can say on this topic soo....

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

An Ode to Fun Bags

This was awfully selfish on his part. It was entirely pathetic. It was ridiculously appalling for _him _of all people to even be bothered by it. He was a horrible, pitiful, sorry excuse for a man.

But god _damn_, when was he gonna get some?

He tried not to think about sex. He did, really! After all, he and Jazmine had dated a full two years before even getting to that point! In fact, it usually wasn't something he thought much about.

Then again, he usually didn't have to _think _about it because they were usually _doing _it.

Honestly, Huey wasn't one to beat around the bush. He could just easily ask her about it. But every time he considered it he just felt _bad_. How would it seem if she was carrying around a baby twenty four/seven and all he wanted was for her to just sit _still _long enough to-

Okay, thinking about that _so wasn't helping_.

It was as if he were turning into _Riley_, who, speaking of, wasn't doing much to help the situation.

"Damn, nigga!" he mentioned one Thursday evening as Huey sat at the kitchen table, doing his homework. "You noticed Jazmine's fun bags?"

His head had whipped up at that one. "_What_?"

"Fun bags! You know, her baby feeders! Her bazookas! Her _bijongas_-"

"Riley!" Huey slammed his textbook shut, giving him a look of disbelief. "Are you _serious_?"

"Wat?" He smacked his lips. "You can't tell me you ain't noticed dem thangs. They're like…_torpedoes_-"

"Riley."

"Speed bumps!"

"Riley!"

"_Soombas_!"

"RILEY!"

"Wat?"

Huey wanted to bang his head on the table. Repeatedly. "You're being really ridiculous right now."

"Why, cuz I can appreciate a nice set of-"

"Nice set of what?"

Both Riley and Huey whirled around to see Jazmine walking in, shuffling past towards the refrigerator as casual as someone who _didn't _have boobs. Since she was the oblivious woman she was she simply opened the refrigerator door, reaching in and pulling out a bottle of Snapple. She closed the door with her hip, uncapped it, took a huge sip, and smiled.

"What's up?"

Riley made a face. "_Somethin _on me's up, but you don' wanna know wat it is- OW!" Huey kicked him underneath the table. Jazmine blinked, making a face of her own.

"Um…okay." She glanced at Huey. "How was your day?"

"Uhhh." _Stare at her face! Her face! Don't look south! DON'T LOOK SOUTH! _"It was…big."

Her eyebrows drew together. "Huh?"

He mentally slapped himself. "Good! Today was good!"

She gave him an odd look before drinking some more of her juice and walking back out the kitchen. Both Riley and Huey turned to watch her go. After a few seconds she stopped, slowly glancing over her shoulder. They whipped their heads back around. Riley's cheeks were puffed up from held in laughter. Her eyes narrowed.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing!" Huey practically yelled, which only caused her eyes to narrow even more. It was sad that a man could be brought down by _mammary glands. _"We're just…just…"

"High!" Riley snapped his fingers. Huey nodded earnestly.

"Yes. Wait, no!" He shot Riley a glare. "What the hell kind of mess is that?"

Jazmine frowned. "You're both acting weird." When neither one of them said anything she shrugged, turning around again. "Okay. Whatever…"

She disappeared around the corner. The moment they heard the bedroom door close the brother's heads whipped back towards each other. Riley shook his head.

"Dem things are betta than Christmas!"

"Riley, you are _not _helping." Huey rested his head in his hands. "Seriously."

"You mean you ain' notice before?"

_Yes. _"No!"

Riley tilted his head to the side, examining him.

"You _sure _you ain' gay?"

"_Yes _I'm sure. It's not being uninterested!" he snapped. "It's being _respectful_."

"Respectful of _wat_?" Riley snorted. "Shit. I don' curr if she pregnant wit dat jank out dat movie _Alien_! I'd hit that."

Huey's glare was so intense he winced.

"Ya kno…wit a _bus_."

"Why are you here again?"

"Well, I wuz here ta freeload off yo food. Now I'm just enjoying tha view…stop _kicking _me, nigga!"

"Then stop being an idiot!" Huey rolled his eyes. "Look, this may come as a big surprise to you, but I have _self control_."

Riley snickered, then burst out laughing.

"Dat sucks fo _you_, den!" He let out a low whistle. "Cuz I mean, I don' know wat it is, but she just looks…" He shook his head. "Yo loss, nigga."

Huey knew exactly what he was talking about. While Jazmine had never really had skin problems before it was as if it were _glowing_ now. Her hair was on its best behavior (which often had her ecstatic). Her energy was back, so she was for the most part back to her normal be-sweet-to-everyone self. Which, when combined with everything else, made _everyone _want to talk to her.

Seriously. They'd be in the grocery store and could practically get into a conversation on every aisle. A man on the subway gave her his metro card that still had a good fifty bucks on it. Some little kid gave her his lollipop!

And when that dumbass Cameron guy had come to help her with her homework one day the week before he'd told her that she was probably the prettiest pregnant person he'd ever seen. It had taken all of Huey's energy not to throw up on the spot.

The point was, yes, he was aware his girlfriend was probably one of the only pregnant women who could get dates lined up every night of the week for the next _month _if she wanted. And sure, she looked good. _Really _good.

But what did Riley expect him to do, demand that she rip her clothes off? How insensitive would that be?!

"So like, when you say you got self control…" Riley gave his brother a funny look, and then his eyes widened. He brought a fist to his mouth. "Oh, _shit_! Nigga, did she cut you _off_?"

"She didn't do anything!" he snapped back, rolling his eyes. "It's just never come up, okay?"

"Den you betta bring it up!" Riley shot back. "Do you know how long wat is it…_six months _is?"

"There is more to a relationship than sex, Riley." He opened his textbook again, shaking his head. "Obviously."

"Nigga, boo." Riley snorted. "I mean, if she ain' pull da plug on dat, den why _ain't _you?"

Huey exhaled through his nose. "Because, as opposed to before, there's a _third party now_, Riley!" He gave him a "duh" look. "There's factors, alright? If she felt like it she would've mentioned it by now. And I mean…" He winced. "What if I like…stabbed it or something?"

Riley burst out laughing all over again.

"Get out. Right now."

"Stop bein' a lil' bitch." Riley waved his hand snorting. "But like forreal tho…you _do _kno people do dat shit all tha time, right?" Huey blinked. "You actin like tha baby gotta video camera in there that they gon break out come June. Dat nigga ain' worried bout ya'll! Shit, he prolly just chillin, blazin it up-"

"Riley…I highly doubt our unborn child is smoking _weed _in-"

"You get wat I mean! Stop bein all smart!" Riley sneered at him. "I mean, I thought yo ass would know dis, but you kno dat sac thingy keeps you from hittin anything _anyway_, right?"

"Well-"

"_And_-" Riley went on as if Huey hadn't even spoken. "I read dat pregnant bitchez bodies be all sensitive an shit…so for all you kno dat shit would on _point_-"

"Okay, I have to take enough cold showers thinking about it on my _own_!" the eldest Freeman snapped, clenching his fists. "Can we just not _talk _about it?!"

"Talk about what?"

Huey glanced over his shoulder to see Jazmine throwing away her bottle yawning and giving them a curious look. He made a face.

"Um…"

"Aye yo, Jazzy!" Riley said, causing her to focus on him. He grinned. "Since Huey's too much of a bitch nigga ta say it himself, ima just say I like yo chumbawumbas."

Jazmine frowned, confused. "Huh?"

"Yo hood ornaments. Yo mahatmas!" When she continued to look confused he sighed loudly. "YO TITTIES!"

"RILEY!" Huey yelled, causing her to jump and for him to burst out laughing all over again. "GO AWAY!"

Jazmine gave Riley a look. "Um…thanks?" She glanced down at her chest. "Is it really that obvious?"

"_Dat obvious_? Dem things got dey own zip code!"

Jazmine nodded, blinking. "Thank…you." She slowly turned on her heel, giving him a funny look before walking out of the kitchen with a confused expression on her face. Huey gave Riley an incredulous look.

"It's amazing." He shook his head. "You never cease to amaze me. Every day you give me more and more reasons to wish I was an only child."

"I did yo ass a favor." He hopped up, throwing up a peace sign. "Deuces!"

"Oh, so now you're gonna leave?" Huey shot him a glare. Riley smirked.

"Soooo you mad?"

Huey rolled his eyes. Riley gave him a slightly sympathetic look, even though it was obvious he was still finding the entire situation to be funny.

"Man, you want mah advice?"

Huey looked reluctant, which Riley took as a cue to give it to him regardless.

"You need ta tear dat ass _up_."

Huey sighed, closing his eyes. "Goodbye, Riley."

"Peace!"

Huey waited for the front door to slam before turning his attention back to his textbook…or at least trying to. It was as if for every word he read he just started thinking about _boobs_. What was _wrong _with him?! He was turning into an Eric Benet! Tiger Woods!

That…that other sex addicted guy! Which one? Who cared! There were plenty of them!

Great. Now he was thinking crazy. He wouldn't be able to get _anything _done. He sighed, pushing away from the table and trudging towards the bedroom. Maybe all he needed was sleep. Yup. He sighed, opening the bedroom door. Jazmine, who was on the bed reading her own textbook, looked up and smiled.

"Hey!"

He nodded. "Um, hey." He flopped down on the edge of the bed while she went back to her book.

"How was your day?" she asked again, turning a page and highlighting something.

_'Boobs!'_

"Um, fine." He rubbed the base of his neck, staring down at the floor. "And you?"

She shrugged. "We were supposed to dissect something today but I broke out the pregnancy card and just had to submit a paper instead." She grinned at him. "Sometimes this pregnancy thing has an advantage."

_'No kidding.' _

"Uh huh."

They fell into a silence that, while usually comfortable to him, only gave him less distraction and more room to think, which, while usually a good thing, was a bad thing in this case.

A _very _bad thing.

He glanced over his shoulder towards her. She was so absorbed in her book that she didn't even notice. He swallowed, trying to fill his mind with "safe" subjects.

Puppies!

Forest fires!

Oil spills!

It's only rape if you don't yell "surprise"!

…Wait, _what_?

"Are you okay?"

Huey blinked. Jazmine was giving him a slightly worried look, sitting up straighter. He nodded.

"I'm great." He flopped backwards, staring at the ceiling. "Fan-_tastic_."

She arched an eyebrow. "Um…no, you're not."

He turned over so that he could look up at her. "Yeah?" She nodded. "And how do _you _know?"

She set her textbook aside, folding her hands neatly in her lap.

"Well," she said thoughtfully. "You're…kind of acting as if I have the plague."

He blinked. _That _caught him off guard. "What?"

"Well, I don't know." She shrugged. He glanced down at the bedspread. "I know our schedules are kind of off so we don't see each other as much and we both have school and all, but when we are together…it seems like you're mad at me or something."

"Why the hell would I be mad at you?" he asked. She shrugged again.

"Maybe that's not the right word…" She tapped her chin with her index finger. "It's more like you've reversed roles with me and you've turned into the passive aggressive one who avoids me as opposed to telling me what's bothering you." She snapped her fingers, grinning. "Yeah! That's it!"

He rolled his eyes. "And how do you figure that?"

"Well, you could try _looking _at me for once."

He lifted his gaze, meeting her eyes. She smiled.

"_Thank _you." She got up, stretching and walking towards their closet. "I'm stealing another one of your shirts."

_'YES.'_

"Okay."

"You really don't mind?"

_'Not if you take it off.'_

"Er, no."

"Thanks."

Huey sighed, shaking his head and staring at the ceiling again. He swallowed. It was as if someone had taken his brain and switched it with a baked potato. He was rational. He was _logical_. He didn't let his emotions or…er…_urges _run him! No! He dictated them!

"So, I accidentally backed into Earl the Crackhead when backing out earlier today to go to Target," Jazmine said, coming out the closet while tugging one of his black t shirts over her head. He stared at her. "He tried pulling that "My neck and my back" thing but I gave him five bucks and he told me mazel tov. What does that even _mean_?" When he didn't reply she snapped her fingers. "Hello?"

"Good luck. Congratulations." He shrugged. She folded her arms over her chest.

"Okay, what's going on?"

He sighed. "_Nothing_-"

"This is really backwards. You know that, right?" She put her hands on her hips. "_I _have to drag something out of you. What in the world is it where you won't just blab off about it like you do everything _else_?"

Huey didn't say anything. Her eyes narrowed.

"Does it have anything to do with what Riley said a little while ago?"

_'Damn it!'_

"No…"

She glared at him. "And now you're lying. Geez, Huey. This is scary."

He rolled his eyes. What was scary was that she knew all this. "Well, it doesn't."

"Then what does it have to do with?" she asked. "Because it's really frustrating. I mean, we're supposed to have open communication-"

_'Boobs'_

"-and tell each other whatever's on our mind-"

_'Boobs'_

"-so I just don't understand why all of a sudden, for the first time in five years-"

_'BOOBS'_

"-you can't just tell me what's on your _mind_-"

"Boobs."

She blinked, her eyes widening. "Huh?"

His own eyes widened when he realized he said that aloud. "Uh…" When she began tapping her foot impatiently he sighed. "Alright, _fine_." He swallowed. God, this was weird. "You…have nice…boobs."

Jazmine, to his surprise, smirked. She nodded slowly, looking as if she were trying not to laugh.

"I've been hearing that a lot today. Thanks. I guess." She shrugged. "What was so hard about _that_?"

_'Just drop it just drop it just drop it-'_

"Well…that's kind of not it."

_'You dummy!'_

"It's not?"

"No." He exhaled heavily, his shoulders slumping. "Um, well...I just kind of couldn't help but notice…"

How the hell was he supposed to bring it up without seeming like a complete jerk? He knew that people said it was best to bring up these types of subjects when the "time felt right" but truthfully? It _never _felt right. He wasn't a talker! He didn't talk about feelings! He took action!

"Okay." Jazmine's eyebrows rose in confusion. "So…you know when there's that politician that's gone but unnoticed? Kind of like the period after "Dr" on a Dr Pepper can?"

Jazmine started to open her mouth, then closed it again. Her eyebrows drew together.

"You know, I never noticed that!" She snapped her fingers. "You would think since that's my favorite soda I would have _seen _that…oh well, that's why I'm not an English major-"

"Okay, I'm going to try to do this so that _you _can comprehend it," Huey said, mentally groaning. "Remember that old song you used to sing all the time back in like, _middle school_? The one about sex?"

"Hmm." She stared up at the ceiling thoughtfully, her face brightening. "Yeah! Oh, I still remember it! "Let's talk about sex baby, let's talk about you and me"-"

"Uh, okay-"

""Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that could be"-"

"Thank you, Jazmine-"

""Let's talk abouttttt sex…let's talk about sex"! Ooh, wait." She grimaced. "You're making a point, aren't you?"

He nodded.

"Ohhhhh." She nodded. "Okay. Well, what about it?"

His eyebrow shot up. _Way _up. Was it really _this _easy?

"Well…"

_'Be tactful. Be respectful. Be courteous.'_

"So…when are we gonna have it?"

_'Oh, yes. Reeeeal smooth.'_

Jazmine's mouth fell open. Her eyes grew wide. He winced, waiting for the yelling and screaming and crying to start…

"Wow, really?" She laughed. "I didn't know you wanted to!"

WHAT?!

He gaped at her, not even trying to hide his surprise. "How could you possibly not _know_?!"

"Well, because!" She threw up her hands. "Like I said, we've had this _space _going on…I thought maybe you were trying to avoid it for some reason. I don't know." She frowned. "I thought maybe you thought I was ugly now or something."

Huey was so shocked he burst out laughing. "Are you…_kidding _me?" Her eyebrows shot up. "Yeah, I was avoiding you! So I wouldn't…_attack _you! Not because you're unattractive! Because you aren't." He let out a low whistle, shaking his head. "You _definitely _aren't."

Jazmine sighed, her shoulders slumping. "Oh, thank god." She threw up her hands, nearly laughing herself. "I mean, I was going _crazy _this past month. I had to imagine everything from bunnies to four leaf clovers to-"

"Oil spills?!"

"Yes! Oil spills! How'd you know?"

"Um…a lucky guess."

"But yeah, I had to do everything I could think of just so I wouldn't like, freak you out if I were to suddenly…" She gave him a look. "So, the whole weight gain thing really doesn't bother you?"

He shook his head. "Of course not."

She grinned. "So, we've basically been on the same page this entire time and haven't even known it!"

He nodded, smirking. It _was _kind of funny. "Basically."

Jazmine sighed again, flopping down on the bed beside him. "Well, I'm glad we got that out our systems."

"Yup."

They both nodded, glancing around the room. After a few moments of casual whistling on Jazmine's part and sighing on Huey's, they looked at each other. Jazmine took a deep breath. Huey swallowed.

"Sooo…right now?"

"Yes, please."

Well, she didn't have to tell him twice. Within record time they were kissing each other like there was tomorrow, like they were separated lovers who had managed to find each other again. Like they had been through a period where their worlds had been turned upside down and finally everything had aligned…

Okay, forget that. They were just acting like two deprived fanatics.

Yup. Tonight was _definitely_ gonna earn them another noise complaint.

* * *

PSSH. Like this topic would _never _come up.

...I just have nothing constructive to add. I blame the antibods I'm on. They're driving me insane.  
Sooooo you should review! Because...I'll be your new best friend.  
Actually, that might not be good for you...haha.

Seriously though, thanks for reading!

-Kelsey


	19. Dare to Dream

Alright, I saw the season premiere for the Boondocks? Win. Anywho, thank you to grumpirah, Jumelles0131, jay_jai107, child who is cool, xXMissJanuary1996Xx, kagome_313, MzMinni3, AngieT101, and instantLUNCH for the reviews! Holy _crap _it felt good writing all those names. Haha.

So, this isn't really a funny chapter...I don't know why I feel guilty whenever I throw in a not-funny chapter because they're not all going to be funny, but I just do. It's _weird_, but I've never been too normal, so whatever.

_"And wat are you naming the baby?"_

Muahahahaha. I'll never tell. ;)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

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Dare to Dream

Since the University of Chicago had decided that it hated him and had proceeded to bog him down with enough homework to make Plato's head spin, Huey was in the library when he heard a voice come out of nowhere.

"You're Huey Freeman, right?"

He glanced up from his textbook to see his Logic and Rhetoric professor, an old Einstein resembling man, peering down at him with squinty gray eyes. Huey's own eyes narrowed warily.

"Who wants to know?"

He shook his head, smirking. "Oh, no one in particular." He shrugged, turning his back. "Just…I heard about you."

Huey's eyebrows knotted together. "In…the positive or negative sense?"

"You, my boy, have a gift." The professor spun around, placing his palms flat on the table between them and leaning forward. "A gift for logic. A master of rationality. A passion for _justice_."

"Um…" Was this guy for real? "Okay…"

"I just so happen," he said suddenly, straightening again. "To have a research assistant position open in the college of humanities for History majors. And I just so _happen _to have gotten plenty of recommendations. All of them pointing to you."

Huey had to keep his jaw from dropping. "_Me_?" He shook his head. "Why the hell would anyone want-"

"Just a moment," the professor said, quickly dropping his suitcase onto the table among Huey's things and opening it, rummaging through a few papers. Huey watched him, confusion written all over his face. His teachers had all hated him. According to them he was too challenging, blunt, and defensive. He asked too many questions when he already knew the answers and just wanted to have something to argue about. He'd engage his professors in debates that sometimes lasted the entire lecture time. For anyone to recommend him for something would be ridiculous.

And yet…

"Here." The professor straightened, clutching a few pages and clearing his throat before beginning to read. _"While Mr. Freeman's methods of analysis and execution of ideas can be unconventional and borderline militant, he has show to have a deep aptitude in philosophy, as well as the other components of his chosen area of study. His realm of knowledge is well beyond that of individuals on a doctorate level." _He glanced up, his own gray eyebrows rising. "Now, can you tell me why Professor Simmons would write that if it weren't true?"

"Well…"

"Oh! Here's another one…let's see…_In my twenty three years of teaching I have never encountered a student as brilliant nor infuriating as Huey Freeman. Brilliant in the way that he is the only student to be put in charge to teach an entire term's worth of material to hundreds of students and get every last one of them A's as a result, and infuriating as he says what is on his mind, even when it isn't always proper etiquette to do so. He would be an asset to any position he'd desire to fill…as long as you are ready to defend every lifestyle choice and belief against his tyrant views."_

"They called me a tyrant?" Huey whistled, shaking his head and glancing back down to his book. "They're losing their touch if they can't think of better insults."

"It's not about that." He glanced back up. "The professors that have recommended you…they're among the toughest, most intimidating staff that we have here. And for them to have such positive things to say about a student? The grad school students are lucky if they can even get a "good job" out of these people." When Huey continued to look uninterested he regarded him with a curious look.

"If I am correct, you went with a moot trial group to Washington in September, right?"

He nodded reluctantly. "I didn't participate. It's only for-"

"Graduate students, I'm aware." He gave him another look. "Well, if you accompanied them that means you have to be aware of _mock _trials."

Seriously, when was this guy going to stop talking him to death? He snuck a glance at his watch. He already had to work in a little over an hour. Was it too much to get a few minutes of peace and quiet?

Wait, why was he still asking himself those sorts of questions? Of _course_ it was.

"Yeah." He sighed. "I am."

The professor grinned, clasping his palms together. "I came across something interesting." His eyebrows lifted. "It was a taping of the mock trial group you _were _in, from your second year of college."

"Okay." Huey shrugged. "I was in it. We lost. And?"

The professor shook his head and smirked. "It's not about winning and losing, Mr. Freeman. It's about knowledge. Drive. Ability. And you have _plenty _of ability. You're just…very complex." He tapped his file. "I read that you were invited to join Mensa?"

Huey shrugged, going back to his notebook. Honestly, this man wasn't gonna talk him to death. "I was." When he didn't offer any other type of explanation the professor's eyebrows arched.

"And…you turned them down?"

"I'm pretty certain that a club based on intelligence as a criteria for admission is built on a false sense of elitism," he said casually, not looking up from his notes. "I don't approve of self-appointed superiority over others based on the pretentiousness of some exclusive club."

The professor's eyes narrowed. "Are you aware that _I _am a member of Mensa?"

Huey glanced up, staring at him. After a few moments of silence his own eyes narrowed.

"And are you an elitist?"

The professor blinked. Then, a slow smile spread across his features.

"I would like for you to be my research assistant."

Huey's eyebrow lifted. "I'm an undergrad. That's ridiculous."

"Well, that's true. These jobs usually are given to students on a graduate level." He shrugged casually. "However, I feel that you would be the best candidate."

Huey sighed, glancing back down to his notes. After a few seconds he looked up, shaking his head.

"I don't know." A thoughtful look fell over his face. "There's a lot of…situations going on right now. I'm not sure that I can add too much more to it-"

"Now, before you say no," the professor cut in, lifting a hand and successfully cutting him off. "Think of the long term possibilities." He eased into the chair on the opposite side of the table, placing his palms flat on the surface. "It gives you experience for law school. It gives you competitive edge over _others _applying for law school. Not to mention, it pays."

Huey straightened at that one. He leaned forward slightly, his eyes narrowing.

"Part time or full?"

The professor shrugged. "Full."

Huey winced. Seeing his face, the man smiled.

"It's the opportunity of a lifetime," he said quietly. "And if you take it, it will be only one of the many opportunities you receive. You're a smart man, Freeman. The paperwork says it, your professors say it…your very demeanor proves it. You're too smart to _not _get this position. You're too smart to pass this up."

Huey thought. He already had a job where he was basically paid to organize paperwork that others were too lazy to configure themselves. He had mentioned looking for a second job…but two full time jobs and college?

At the same time, his professor was right. People didn't just waltz up to you with offers to be a research assistant all the damn time. If he was able to put that on his applications to law school then it would help him stand out. No question.

He knew that he already had a lot on his plate…but this would practically guarantee law school. He wanted law school.

He _really _wanted law school.

He nodded slowly, shrugging. "Alright. I'll do it."

The professor grinned, punching a fist into the air.

"Yes!"

Huey blinked. What a weirdo. After the professor finished his happy air punching he turned back to his new assistant, beaming.

"So, do you think you can start tomorrow afternoon?"

"Um…" Before he could reply, he felt his phone begin to vibrate in his pocket. "Hold that thought." He rolled his eyes, grabbing his phone and reading the screen. Recognizing the number to be his landlord's he swore, causing his professor's eyebrows to lift. "I'm sorry. I have to take this…"

The man leaned back, crossing his legs and waving his hand. "You take your time."

Huey nodded, jumping up and stalking through the book stacks, hitting the front doors and stepping outside into the biting cold. He grit his teeth, flipping the phone open and trying to keep his teeth from chattering. What the hell had possessed him to leave his coat inside? "_Yes_?"

"You boy!" Mrs. Maiko's voice screeched through the earpiece, making him cringe. "You didn't tell me you have baby on way!"

"Um…" He stared at the phone as if it had turned into a Pringles can and shook his head, putting it back to his ear. "I didn't think it mattered?"

Wrong answer.

"Of course it matter!" her voice shouted into the phone again, making him groan. "It matter lots!"

"Ouch! Can you stop _doing _that?" Huey snapped, rubbing his ear and switching the phone to the opposite one. Apparently, she didn't hear him.

"I see your girlfriend waddling like she carrying pumpkin around!"

"I…really hope you didn't tell her that." He exhaled through his still clenched teeth. "Otherwise you're not going to _have _an apartment to worry about. She's gonna burn it to the ground."

"SHE DO NO SUCH THING!"

"Ah! Oh, my god!" He couldn't help himself; she was pissing him the hell off. "You're going to make me deaf, Mrs. Maiko!"

"Well before you go deaf, hear this!" she yelled into the phone. "Rent increase!"

His eyes widened and his jaw dropped. He glared at the phone before placing it back up to his ear.

"Are you _shitting _me?"

"I give you no shit, Freeman!"

"That shit's not legal!"

"I landlord! I make rules!"

"Yeah, and I abide by them when they're _legal_." He snorted. "I ain't payin you a dime over what you get. That's what's on the contract, and unless I get a sixty day notice of a rent increase that is being put into action due to non discriminatory, _legal_ reasoning, then fine. But until then you'd better stop all that damn screaming in my ear."

"I tell you this, Freeman!" Mrs. Maiko shouted, making him sigh. "I get more rent out of you! Baby cost me more money. Baby cost everyone _more _money!"

"Gee, you _think_?" He snorted. "I'm trying not to resort to living in a cardboard box _now_! What do you think a rent increase is going to serve?"

"Less talking more paying!"

"I told you, you're not getting shit!"

"I evict you!"

"I will sue you." This lady was straight _trippin_. "I wish you _would _try to evict us on wrongful reasoning. I will drag your ass to court so quick-"

"Ah, but with what money?" Mrs. Maiko practically cackled. "Money and lawsuit cost money! Cost more money to sue than to pay me!"

"I don't care!"

"You care when it all over and you have _nothing_!"

Geez. They already _had _nothing. They were college students!

"Would it be worth it, Freeman?" Mrs. Maiko asked, making him pause. "You scream lawsuit! I say fine! But will it be worth it to go through entire process and interrupt routine? Would it be worth it to upset girlfriend?"

That old biddy! She _would _have to bring Jazmine up. He glared at the phone. She knew _exactly _what she was doing. If it were just him living there and she tried to pull this shit he'd sue her even if he had to live in a _dumpster _for the time being. But it wasn't just him. It was him and his pregnant, asthmatic, ultra-sensitive girlfriend who couldn't even handle her old fish dying without having an asthma attack. Not to mention she herself had been born a month early and the _last _thing he needed was some premature labor brought on by stress from crazy ass people around her.

So she alone was the only reason he let out a loud, long sigh.

"I want formal, written documentation of a sixty day notice," he said through clenched teeth. "Unless I get a sixty day notice then you get no extra money."

"Thirty."

"_Thirty _days?" He groaned. "Oh, for the love of-"

"Thirty days!"

"Alright, alright! _Thirty _days." He couldn't even believe this bullshit was happening. He kind of hoped she _did _tell Jazmine how fat she was getting just so the entire place _would _get torched. "_Happy_?"

"Yes!" Mrs. Maiko's shrill voice took on a cheery tone. "I give you notice ASAP!"

"What_ever_." He hung up without saying goodbye, clenching his phone so hard in his hand he was surprised it didn't break. He took a few deep breaths to avoid the urge to punch something (that wouldn't really help matters much) and turned around, marching back inside. He managed to regain his composure before reaching his professor, who was, sure enough, still sitting in the same spot and whistling a tune. He nodded as Huey slowly sat back down.

"So?" He lifted his eyebrows. "Is tomorrow good?"

Huey sighed, nodding. "Tomorrow's fine."

"Perfect." The professor held out his hand. "I look forward to working with you, Mr. Freeman."

Huey nodded, shaking his hand and letting go as he stood to his feet again, grabbing his briefcase and disappearing around a bookshelf. After he was sure his professor was gone he groaned, banging his head on his textbook.

This _sucked_.

Instead of resuming his studying he packed up his stuff, already knowing that he wasn't going to be able to concentrate. He put on his coat and scarf, hoisted his backpack over his shoulder, and ventured out into the cold again. When he made it to his car a few minutes later he tossed his bookbag in the passenger seat, flopped into the driver's seat, slammed the door shut, and rested his forehead on the steering wheel.

This crazy bat actually had the audacity to increase their rent because they were having a baby. Like they'd done that shit on purpose! As if they'd went, "Ooh, let's just start a family so that our landlord will have to pay more utilities".

Bitch, please.

How was he going to be able to juggle two jobs _and _school? Even worse, how was he going to break it to Jazmine that their rent was going to go up? They split it half and half, so while it made the blow less severe, it would still be enough to impact them. Especially her, who made less than him being that she was a waitress. Holy shit, did he remember to get her inhalers refilled? She was gonna need one when he told her.

He contemplated the best way to go about it the entire drive home. Should be bring it up casually? Sit her down formally? Talk about it figuratively and then gradually ease into the subject? Jazmine was touchy; one moment a certain method worked and then it was completely the wrong thing to do. She was complex and simple at the same time. She was like one of those chocolate samplers that didn't come with labeling so you had to guess which kind of chocolate you were choosing. Instead of buying her a Christmas gift he should've made her a _caution_ sign to wear.

By the time he got back home, he was just ready to go bust down his landlord's door and smack her upside the head with it. Only, he decided that increased rent was a _little _better than life in prison for murder so he sucked it up and made his way to their apartment, pausing in front of the door and taking a deep breath before unlocking it and opening it. He stepped in, glancing around before closing the door behind him.

"Hello?"

"Huey!" A particularly cheerful Jazmine poked her head from around the corner, grinning. "Hey!"

A lump formed in his throat. "Um, hey."

"What's up? No, wait a second."

Her head disappeared from view and he blinked, raising an eyebrow. Shaking his head he peeled off his coat, hanging it up in the closet before sighing and heading around the corner.

Screw it. He was just going to tell her. There was no use in tiptoeing around it. He wasn't the type to tiptoe in the first place so why should he start now?

"Listen-" he started, only before he could finish Jazmine was shoving a spoon into his mouth, making him gag. "Jazmine!" He grabbed the spoon, yanking it out his mouth and chewing. "What the _hell_?"

"Sorry!" She wandered back into the kitchen, which Huey could see was practically overflowing with cooked food. "See, I was going through this cookbook I found 'cause I got bored. And I was trying to not eat a bunch of crap so I wouldn't have to hear it from you, and this book had a bunch of that horrible vegetarian food you're always trying to push on me. But they had this vegan dessert section, and some of the stuff looked good, so then I wanted to make some-"

God, that girl could talk. He chewed some more, swallowing. He had to admit, whatever she'd given him _was _pretty good.

"-and they had this vegan cake kind of like that one Mr. Freeman bought you for your eighteenth birthday that made Riley throw up and I remembered how much you liked it despite its, um…grossness, so I made you one!" Her face wrinkled. "Which was what I just gave you because I was too scared to try it myself. Because I'm sorry, your food preferences are _disgusting_."

"This is coming from the woman who now puts raisins in her macaroni and cheese," he remarked sarcastically. When she stuck out her tongue at him he shrugged. "Joking. It's good. Thanks."

She smiled, obviously relieved. "Good." She leaned against the counter, shrugging herself. "I mean, I know this entire pregnancy thing is really hard. And as corny as this is going to sound and as much as you're going to go "I could care less"…" She gave him one of her starry eyed, bright expressions that made him get those horrible, warm, fuzzy feelings he _hated. _"I just want you to know that I appreciate you."

Oh, shit.

"And you have to put up with a lot of crap from people," she continued, completely oblivious to the way he cringed. "And I'm not always the easiest person to tolerate, but you're always there for me regardless. You really are my best friend."

She was making this ruin-her-day thing pretty difficult to do.

"And I'm really glad I'm with you." To make matters worse, she threw her arms around him, giving him a huge hug that wouldn't have been nearly as annoying had it been under other circumstances. Such as ones that didn't have to do with him breaking the news to her that she was about to be even more poor than before. He gingerly pat her on the back, wincing.

"Yeahhhhh…thanks."

She lifted her head, giving him a look. "Are you okay?"

"Yup."

She shrugged, letting him go and striding back into the kitchen. "Okay." She went back over to the oven, peeking inside it before glancing back at him. "So, what's up? Anything interesting happen today?"

"Well…" He plopped into a chair at the kitchen table, resting his hands on the surface. "I got a job as a research assistant."

Jazmine grinned at him. "That's great!"

"Yeah, but-"

"Aww, I'm so _proud _of you!" she gushed excitedly. He gave her a look.

"What did they put in your Kool-Aid?"

"Shut up." She smirked, rolling her eyes. "I'm serious. That's amazing. I mean, you always talk about doing something to make yourself stand out for grad school and now you've got it." She shrugged. "I'm really happy for you."

He glanced at the wall. She straightened, turning back towards the oven.

"So, did anything else happen?"

Well, there wasn't any other better time to do it than now. He took a deep breath, opening his mouth and focusing on the back of her head…

"Nah."

Jazmine shrugged, opening the oven door and peeking inside. "That's a Monday for you."

Okay, so he couldn't do it. He just _couldn't_. She was so happy! She was all cheerful and filled with love and kindness for her fellow man and all that good stuff. She baked him a cake. She appreciated him. How much would she appreciate him after he told her that they would be in the poorhouse?

Well…even _deeper _in the poorhouse?

It didn't matter. Since his name was the one on the lease and got lettered to him, he'd just pay the extra part that would originally be hers. She'd still pay her half, he'd pay the increase, and it wouldn't even make a difference. She'd never know and wouldn't have to freak out. With a second job they'd at least have money to function with. It didn't have to be so bad.

Besides, what she didn't know wouldn't hurt her.

At least, he sure hoped not.

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Thanks for reading! It's 3 am so I hope there's not too many mistakes...haha.  
Press that green button! Do it! DOOOO IT!!!!

-Kelsey


	20. The Cookie Monster

So, for some reason, I am a very self-critical writer. Therefore, I waited until a fellow writer by the name of MizzC read this chapter and gave me the green light to submit it because I really wasn't sure if it was good. And no, I'm not fishing for compliments or whatever. I'm just keeping it real.

ANYWAYANYWAYANYWAY, thank you to grumpirah, child who is cool, AngieT101, DarkPhoenixSaga (who pointed out very key mistakes that I went back and fixed/ am going to fix on the sneak tip in future chapters. LOL), sweetiepye2, EclipseIllusion, Goku's Daughter, and ViLaVi (That's a sexy name. lol :P)

_"You should name her after me, I mean Angela is such a pretty name don't you think."_

It is beautiful. LOL. :P

Warning: Possible...OOCness? Maybe? I don't know. I'm pretty sure I can blame hormones on about anything in this but maybe not. (Thinks of "fierce bitch" and dies laughing). Thanks, Lisa! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

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The Cookie Monster

She'd put it off for as long as possible. She'd used every excuse in the book whenever the subject had come up. She'd fought tooth and nail to avoid doing what they were about to do.

But finally, _finally_, it was unavoidable.

"Jazmine, it's my aunt. Not the pope."

Jazmine shook her head as she puffed on her inhaler, taking a deep breath and sighing before giving him a look.

"She is _not _just your aunt," she said, her voice raspy. She'd started hyperventilating a good ten minutes before they'd even gotten to his Aunt Cookie's doorstep. "She's…she's…"

"…Just. My. Aunt." Huey rolled his eyes, reaching out to ring the doorbell.

"Don'tdoityet!" Jazmine nearly screamed, causing his arm to drop. She leaned against the porch railing, holding up a hand. "Just…give me a minute."

"Oh, my _god_." Huey rolled his eyes. "She's not going to hate you, okay? She might not…_like _you…" Jazmine's eyes widened. "But she's not going to despise you."

"Oh, that's comforting!"

Huey and Riley's aunt Cookie was basically the closest mother figure they'd had growing up. Since their parents had died when Huey was eight and their grandmother had been dead before they were even _born_, she was probably one of the only females that had been there for them. Nope. She wasn't intimidated at all!

_Not_.

"Are you _sure _it's best for me to show up at her _birthday party_?" she asked, holding on to the porch for dear life. Huey sighed.

"She's the one who suggested you _come_, Jazmine." He looked impatient. "For some reason, she wants to meet you. Don't ask me why."

"You're mean!"

"And you're being ridiculous." He shrugged. "You've got to be kidding me. I met _both _sets of your grandparents before they died, got knocked in the head with a cane by your grandma Ella, can recite your _twenty seven _cousin's names in order from oldest to youngest, and met practically everybody when you forced me to go with you to your family reunion in Louisiana back last August-"

"_So_?"

"_So_," he went on, giving her a glare. "I don't think it's too much to ask for you to meet my aunt and handful of cousins since half my family's _dead_."

Ugh. He just _had _to pull out the "dead" card. While he never talked about his parents, let alone much of anyone in his family, he had no problem with reminding her that she had a large, extensive family. As if it was _her _fault.

Actually, she really didn't have a reason to be acting all brand new about it. He'd told her about the birthday party two weeks in advanced just so she'd be able to take off. She'd done it, secretly hoping he'd forget to remind her that she agreed she'd go. She didn't know _why _she even thought for a second that would happen since his memory was sharp as a CPU.

Then, when she _had _admitted to not wanting to go, he'd copped an attitude so quick if she would have refused to go he would have been mad at her for at least half the week. Why it mattered that much to him she didn't know, but whatever.

She slowly let go of the porch, sighing and stepping towards the door.

"Fine. But wait!" She took one more puff of her inhaler, inhaling deeply and handing it to him, since she constantly lost them if trying to keep track of them. "Okay. I'm ready."

He looked bored. "You sure?"

"Yes."

It would be okay. It had to be! Jazmine was loveable and sweet and all things wonderful. Plus, his aunt was an Aquarius! Huey was an Aquarius and they got along great! _And_, if she was anything like her eldest nephew…

…Oh, god. His aunt was going to _hate _her!

She felt herself tense up as Huey rang the doorbell, stepping back and putting his hands in his coat pockets. She swallowed. They were nothing alike! What if his aunt was expecting some politically aware Nubian princess and got the girl who didn't even know what an electoral college was until a week ago and was mixed with so many races she wound up checking off _every _box on questionnaires? What if she accidentally did something clumsy and screwed up? What if she embarrassed him? What if…

She was going to throw up. Oh, god. She was going to _throw up_, and then pass out, and then she'd be remembered as Huey's spaz girlfriend who ruined his Aunt Cookie's birthday party! She'd always be hated! On the off chance he'd ever _considered _marrying her he'd be reminded why he hadn't wanted to in the first place!

She thought about hiding in the bushes, but for one she'd freeze to death, and for another that really _would _make her look like a spaz. Besides, when she heard the door unlocking, she knew it was too late.

The door flew open, a middle aged woman at least half a foot shorter than herself beaming towards Huey.

"I was wondering when you'd get around here to see me," she said, opening the screen door and flinging her arms around him. He hugged her back, not even complaining when she held him away at arm's length to study him. "_And _you've gotten taller!"

"No. You've just gotten shorter."

Aunt Cookie laughed, shaking her head at him. "Living in the same city as your old aunt and you can't even pay me a visit once in awhile. I haven't even seen you since August." Her eyes flickered towards Jazmine for the first time, her expression never changing. "I suppose the girl had something to do with it."

_Ouch_. Jazmine felt her face heat up and focused on staring down at her feet. Huey rolled his eyes.

"Yeahhh...not." He grabbed Jazmine's shoulders, practically flinging her towards the woman. "Jazmine, this is my Aunt Cookie. Aunt Cookie, this is Jazmine."

"Uh…hi," Jazmine mumbled weakly. Huey's aunt evaluated her with a skeptical glance.

"Hello."

"Well. _This _is off to a great start." Huey's voice was filled with sarcasm and he stepped past them, going into the house. "I really hope you didn't make pork flavored broccoli."

"You know I don't eat pork-"

"I _love _pork flavored…I mean, ohhhh." Jazmine rubbed the back of her neck, letting out a low whistle and glancing behind her. Aunt Cookie stared at her as if she'd gone nuts. "I'll just…stop…talking…"

"Ya'll a good hour early! Just like him," Aunt Cookie directed towards Jazmine, shaking her head. "Even when he was _four _he was yelling about getting to pre-school in time. Heaven forbid he got there at eight on the dot. It wasn't good enough."

Jazmine could see that. She smirked, her smile faltering as Aunt Cookie's eyes narrowed towards her. She forced herself to stare back. After a few seconds she nodded, gesturing towards the house.

"Well, come in here, girl. Don't be wastin' my heat."

"Oh! Sorry." Jazmine rushed past her, stopping in the foyer and looking around. Since she and Huey were so early there were only a few others already there. She spotted Riley standing in the kitchen, talking to another guy their age. Huey had disappeared. She swallowed, starting forward-

-Only to be pulled back by their aunt.

"Do you want me to take your coat?"

"Oh. Um…I'm fine. Thank you." She hugged her coat tighter around her, offering Aunt Cookie a smile. "Happy birthday."

"Thank you."

There was a long silence. Finally, Jazmine opened her mouth to say something, _anything_, only to be interrupted.

"Well, grab some plates or a pot or something. We're setting up." She waved her hand, walking past. "Make yourself useful."

Jazmine gaped at her retreating back, her eyes widening. Whoa. She shook her head, wandering into the kitchen. Spotting a stack of plates sitting by the sink she headed for them, sighing and weighing them in her hands, studying them.

She was loud and she could be crazy…but she could also be ridiculously, painfully shy. She was friendly, but she honest to goodness got so stressed about meeting new people. She wasn't indifferent about people's opinions about her like Riley. She wasn't at ease in any situation like Huey. She panicked. She agonized over saying or doing the wrong thing and couldn't focus on much else. She was _clumsy_. Hell, being half an inch shy of five foot ten and having big feet did that to you! With her being as accident prone as she was it wasn't too illogical to fear fucking shit up.

And now, because she couldn't just be engaging and pleasant and nice, she was plate girl.

She turned around, starting for the doorway when Aunt Cookie came in again, another woman beside her.

"This is some _bangin' _macaroni an' cheese, yo." The woman beside Cookie was also on the short side (it was moments like these where Jazmine hated being so damn tall) and was licking her fingers, her long micro braids in a bun at the base of her neck. Aunt Cookie spotted Jazmine and stopped.

"Ah." She smirked, turning the woman towards Jazmine. "Gabrielle, this is Jazmine. You know…Huey's…_friend_."

Gabrielle's mouth fell open.

"Oh _shit_! Forreal?" Gabrielle grinned. "Lemme find out tha cuzzo got himself a lady friend. _And _she ain't ugly!"

Well, that was always a good thing. "Uh…thank you?"

"Girl, how old you is?" Gabrielle gave her a look. "You twenty five?"

"Um, I'm twenty."

"Damn. You tall fo a twenty year old!" Jazmine had to resist the urge to roll her eyes. "Ah! Ooh, and she talk like a little white girl! Oh, this is too funny." She snapped her fingers, her other hand holding on to her plate. "In fact…she look a little…oh, my god." Her face froze, and suddenly she was laughing so hard everyone in a twenty foot radius stopped. "He datin' a white girl! I never thought I'd see the day-"

"Half…white," Jazmine managed weakly. Gabrielle stopped laughing, her face serious.

"Oh." She nodded. "You one of those."

"One of _what_?"

"Just…eat your food, Gabby." Aunt Cookie shook her head, sighing and stepping past Jazmine. "Excuse me, dear."

"Uh huh…" Jazmine watched her go before sliding past Gabrielle, dropping the plates off on the dining room table. She wheeled around, smacking right into Huey. He rubbed his shoulder, groaning.

"Good job."

"Oh, my god." Jazmine grabbed his shoulders, giving him a shake. "I am _so glad _to see you."

"Yeah…" He gave her a funny look. "Why are you still wearing your coat?"

"I'm…cold," she lied. Spotting his aunt down the hallway heading towards them she let him go, spinning around. "And now…I've gotta go pee!"

"Uh…okay…"

Jazmine quickly made her way through the living room, being lucky enough to hit the bathroom. As she started to walk inside she suddenly spotted Riley walking down the hallway and gasped, racing up to him and grabbing his arm.

"Riley! Save me!"

"Nigga, wat tha hell is you…_aye_!" Jazmine had yanked him back towards the bathroom, shoving him roughly inside and jumping in after him, shutting the door and locking it. He stared down at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Why tha hell is we in a bathroom?"

"Because I'm _panicking, _Riley." Jazmine didn't let go of his arm. "I am pretty sure your aunt hates me."

"Who, Aunt Cookie? Nigga, please." Riley waved his hand. "The only people she hates are bill collectors, drug addicts and redheads."

Jazmine glared at him. "_I'm _a redhead!"

"I'm playin! Damn, calm down!" Riley sucked his teeth. "Okay but forreal tho, why is we in a _bathroom_?"

"Because, Riley. I need your help." Since there was only a two inch height difference they were practically nose to nose. "What do I do to make her like me?"

"Maybe she _do _like you an yo ass bein paranoid!" Riley snorted. "I mean, it ain' like she made you get plates or nothing-"

"Um…she actually did."

Riley lifted a fist to his mouth, laughing. "Oh, shit!" He ignored Jazmine as she glowered at him, cackling. "She really _don't _like yo ass! Damn, yo, dat's crazy. Aunt Cookie like _errybody_. How she don' like yo ass?"

"Riley, I don't know. But I really want her to." She gave him a pleading look. "So, what do I do?"

"Aiight, aiight. First off…" He gave her a glance over, shaking his head. "You gotta stop actin' like a punk bitch."

"I'm not acting like a-"

"The hell you ain't!" He snorted. "You's actin' like more of a punk bitch than Ali when he ain't wanna go fight in Vietnam! You gotta get sum backbone, cause she can read people like da back of her hand. Dat's prolly where Huey bitch ass get it from." He scratched his chin. "A matter fact, dat nigga and her gotta lot in common. She just nicer and ain' a bitch nigga. Ooh, and one year she sent me sum money fo getting' straight Ds on mah report card-"

"That has _nothing _to do with her not liking me!" Jazmine threw up her hands. "Riley, I feel like I'm not even supposed to _be _here! The only reason I even came was because Huey got all mad when I even hinted that I wasn't going to-"

"You is dumb as _hell_, son." Riley shook his head, rolling his eyes. "Like, forreal."

"What?"

Riley glanced around as if looking for people who would overhear, which would be weird since they were in a _bathroom_. Finally, he gave her a look.

"If you tell anybody we had a wack ass sappy conversation, ima kick yo ass the second you pop yo baby out."

Jazmine made a face. "Um…okay-"

"Okay, on tha real tho." Riley gestured around the bathroom. "Do you know how many other women Huey's brought round hurr?"

Jazmine's forehead scrunched up in concentration. "Two?"

Riley gave her a bored look.

"_One_?"

He shook his head, holding up his hand and making his fingers form a circle. "Zero, nigga." Her eyes widened. "He woulda brought you sooner but you wuz always actin' like yo typical punk self so he thought you thought you wuz too good ta meet the fam or something-"

"I never thought that!" she nearly shouted. "I was afraid they'd think that_ I_ wasn't good enough!"

"Tha only way people gon think that is if _you _think dat." Riley shot her a look. "I mean, damn! You smart! You cool…sometimes. An you got a crazy attitude so I don' know why you actin' all scurred an shit."

"Because." Jazmine shrugged, hanging her head. "I don't know. I didn't know this was such a big deal to him-"

"Nigga, ain' nobody in dey right mind gon take dey girl to no family functions if dey don't plan on keepin' her round!" Riley said, plucking her in the forehead. "Yo stupid ass. You can stop feelin like you don't belong or whateva, cause if he did think that then yo ass wouldn't be hurr." Riley paused. "But you ain't hear it from me, son." He shrugged. "I aunno, just…go up to her and tell dat shit like it is, homes. Don' be carin' if she _like _you or not. Care that she _respect _you. You heard of "Money, power, respect"!"

Jazmine blinked, slowly shaking her head. "No…not really, no."

Riley gave her a look. "Damn. You be livin' under a rock?" He rolled his eyes. "Man, forget dis. Look, just go an pull her aside an-"

Jazmine shrugged. "It's her birthday! I don't want to just pull her away from people she actually knows!"

"And I don wanna be in no damn bathroom but you see I is!" He sucked his teeth. "Tha only way I wanna be in a bathroom wit a broad is if we's-"

"Don't go there." Jazmine shook her head, unlocking the door. "Geez. Get out."

"Don't be tryna hide like a bitch in dur, either!" Riley told her as he left. "I'll snitch on yo ass just so I can have somethin ta laugh at."

"Aren't you the best." Jazmine sighed, taking a deep breath before leaving the bathroom herself. She cut off the light, walking back to the kitchen in time to see Aunt Cookie coming towards her. She felt her face brighten.

Great! She could talk to her now! She'd listen to Riley. She'd be confident. She'd be charming and funny and all the things she knew she could be!

"I-"

"You think you can grab more plates for me?" Aunt Cookie asked, not even reducing her speed as she walked past her towards the dining room. "Thanks."

She felt her shoulders slump. So much for that. She took a deep breath, straightening.

"Um, wait." Aunt Cookie stopped, turning around. "Actually, would it be okay if-"

"You know," Aunt Cookie interrupted, her hand on her hip and her expression unreadable. "You are very pretty."

She paused, her mouth falling open. "Oh!" Well, maybe she _didn't _dislike her. "Thanks-"

"Don't get happy." Aunt Cookie gave her a wary look. "That's the only positive thing I've noticed so far."

Her eyebrow lifted. "Uh-"

But then Aunt Cookie was already walking away. She blinked, shaking her head. Did that _really _just happen?

"Oh, my god." She spun around. "Son of a-"

"She's not usually like that, you know," a sudden voice to her left said. Her head whipped up and her eyes fell on a man around her age who was eating at the kitchen table. He shrugged when she blinked at him, wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Well, she's not."

Jazmine gaped at him, shaking her head. "Who _are _you?"

He rolled his hazel eyes, chewing for a long moment before swallowing heavily. "Cairo."

"Cairo!" She snapped her fingers. "You're the one who head butt Huey that one time, right?"

"Yeah." His tone was dry. "And you're the pregnant girlfriend."

She frowned. He looked up at her and shook his head.

"She's testing you." When she gave him a confused look he shrugged. "She's always been that way with her nieces and nephews. She tests people. You're getting the shittiest deal because you're with who happens to be her favorite nephew. And she's trying to see if she thinks you're good enough for him."

"Ah." Jazmine flopped down at the table across from him, folding her hands on the table in front of her and staring at the placemat. "I'm guessing I failed."

"It's not too late to change her mind." Cairo shrugged, taking a huge bite of his roll. "Show her you're _not _an irresponsible hussy who is probably going to ruin her nephew's life."

Jazmine's jaw dropped. "Please tell me she didn't _say _that."

Cairo shrugged, poking his greens. "And if she did?" He looked back up at her, lifting his eyebrows. "What are you gonna do about it?"

Jazmine snorted. "What _can _I do? It's Huey's _aunt_-"

"You're not getting it." He shook his head. "You can't be a doormat because you want to be liked. Otherwise you'll never get taken seriously. Is that what you want her to see you as? A doormat?"

"Of course not, but-"

"Then show her you're not one. You gotta stand up for yourself."

"But what if I make her not like me for real?"

Cairo shrugged, blinking at her. "Sometimes, that's what it takes."

Jazmine sighed, then nodded. "Thanks." She blinked at him. "You're not too bad. Actually, you're not bad at all." She tilted her head to the side, examining him. "How come you and Huey stopped being friends?"

Cairo snorted, picking up his cup and lifting it to his lips. "Now _that's _a relationship that ain't gonna be fixed."

Okay…Jazmine shrugged, rising to her feet. She started towards the hall, then paused, giving him a soft smile.

"Seriously. Thank you." She nodded. "It helped."

He waved his hand. "It's whatever."

She nodded again, turning around and walking into the hallway. She tried to ignore the butterflies that were rising up in her stomach and swallowed, glancing around for a sign of her. As she was passing a sitting room she stopped as she heard voices.

"…hasn't done anything, but I don't know what to think about her."

"Is she mean?"

She pressed herself against the wall, listening to Aunt Cookie's voice as well as another one that she didn't recognize.

"No."

"Is she disrespectful?"

"She's very polite. But Gladys, she seems like such a _pushover_. He's never been the type to just let people behave any sort of way towards him. He's always been so _smart_. And now he's got some girlfriend who is about as assertive as a walnut. He's not supposed to be the one in the family who has to worry about some baby mama at _twenty_. He's not supposed to be the one compromising his plans. He's not going to be able to graduate, Glad. He's _not_. And it's going to be her fault for holding him back-"

Wow. Jazmine swallowed, feeling the tears spring to her eyes. She covered her hand with her mouth and started to back up and go back down the hallway…

But then, she felt the anger begin to rise. How dare this woman talk like she _knew _what was going to happen? Who was she to say Jazmine was holding him back? She'd never hold him back! She always wanted him to be the best he could be! She felt her fists clench, her green eyes hardening.

"Next thing you know she's going to be leaving him and trying to get an arm and a leg for child support off him-"

She stepped out the shadows, squaring her shoulders.

"-And you know how messed up half our family is. A bunch of alcoholics and drug addicts." Aunt Cookie's voice was hard. "He has so much going for him. For him to wind up like that would be a damn shame."

Jazmine shook her head, taking a deep breath and stepping into the room. The woman Aunt Cookie was talking to, Gladys, lifted her head. Her eyes widened.

"Like how it's a damn shame she just overheard everything you said?" the older woman asked, cringing. Aunt Cookie looked up, her brown eyes widening as well. Then, they were narrowing.

"Were you listening to us?"

Jazmine thought about lying, but really, that wouldn't help anyone. "Yes."

"And may I ask why?"

Jazmine shrugged, jamming her thumb towards the door. "If you didn't want to be overheard then you should've closed the door."

Gladys's eyebrows shot up. Aunt Cookie sighed, tucking a strand of short brown hair behind her ear.

"What do you want, child?"

"I want to talk to you."

"And what if I don't feel like talking to you?"

"Then you can _listen_, because that's not really my problem." She gained a bit of satisfaction in the surprise that flashed in both women's eyes before going on. "I don't appreciate you talking about me like you _know _me. It's not right. It's petty. In fact, it's pretty immature. I'm not always the most mature person around, but I have enough sense to know _that_."

Aunt Cookie regarded her with a pensive look.

"I think we got off on the wrong foot, so I'm going to try this again," Jazmine said slowly, poking herself in the chest with her index finger. "My name's Jazmine. Jazmine Dubois if you want to get formal about it. I'm twenty and I go to Northwestern. I'm a Math major and I'm premed." She shook her head, taking a deep breath. "And I screwed up. Actually, Huey and I _both _screwed up, because I refuse to take full blame for something that was mutual, regardless about how you see it." When neither woman interrupted her she went on. "So, I'm pregnant. Yeah, it's not smart and it's not what most people expect at twenty, but it is what it is. And I'm sorry you feel like I'm going to try and get something out of him for it, but I'm not. And I'm not going to waste my time trying to prove that to you."

"I don't think you understand," Aunt Cookie said slowly, resting her hands on her palms. "That he is my eldest nephew. He is smart. He is wise. He's capable of doing anything he _wants_." Her eyes narrowed. "I don't know how _your _family works, but ours has seen a lot of things. We've lost a lot of people. We've had a lot of hardships. And he is one of the few who got past that. He's one of the ones who transcended it so he could make something with _his _life. This sort of thing wasn't supposed to happen to _him_."

"Well, it did." Jazmine glared at her. "And I don't know how _your _family works, but mine has always been there for me. I haven't lost too many people. I don't know what it's like to have _hardships _orwhateverand I hope I never will. But I do know that my family's _always _loved me and they do whatever it takes for people they love. They taught me to do the same thing. And I love him. I really do. I'm not just going to up and leave when everything gets tough or try to take everything he owns. I don't _want _anything he owns! And if _you _loved him you wouldn't be writing him off as a lost cause."

"I'm not." Aunt's Cookie's chin lifted. "I'm being _realistic_."

"And so am I." Jazmine's eyes narrowed. "I won't let him fail. He's not like the so called others in your family. I don't know them, but I know what he's _not_. And he's not a failure."

Gladys looked like she was struggling not to cry. Aunt Cookie sighed, shaking her head.

"I still don't know what to make of you." Jazmine blinked. "But you aren't just a pretty face." She looked up, smiling slowly. "And you're not a doormat. Nosy, maybe." She smirked. "But not a doormat."

"She ain't the only nosy one today, apparently." Gladys was staring towards the door. Aunt Cookie looked up and Jazmine glanced over her shoulder to see Huey leaning against the doorframe, looking like he were tying not to laugh at them.

"I'm not nosy." He crossed his arms. "I was being _observant_." He walked into the room, shrugging. "Actually, I thought I was going to have to save her from you but she seemed like she was doing alright on her own."

Aunt Cookie leaned back, shrugging. Her eyes flickered towards Jazmine and she nodded.

"She'll do."

Jazmine decided to refrain from bursting into a happy dance since there was a good chance it would change Aunt Cookie's mind. But she _couldn't _refrain from letting out an excited squeal and throwing her arms around the stunned woman, hugging her like she'd just given her a million dollars.

"Thank you thank you thank you-"

"Oh, my goodness." Jazmine let her go and she stood to her feet, shaking her head. "I didn't know you were a hugger."

"Oh, this is so _spechullll_!" Gladys mused from her seat, clapping her hands together. "Like out one of them sitcoms."

"The only difference is the people in those sitcoms are actually _normal_," Huey mumbled. Jazmine elbowed him and he rolled his eyes, turning around and walking out the room. "There's enough sappiness in here to induce vomiting. I'm gonna go somewhere else now."

"You should go make up with Cairo!" Jazmine suggested. He slowly turned around, shaking his head.

"Don't even." He disappeared out the door. "I ain't pressed to have people like me like you are…"

Aunt Cookie shook her head, turning back to Jazmine and holding her shoulders in her hands, looking up at her. Her face was serious.

"You remember what you told me." Her tone was hard. "When times are hard and everything's not golden as it is now, you remember exactly what you said. And you stick to it."

Jazmine grinned, nodding as Aunt Cookie hugged her again. She hugged her back.

"I will."

* * *

It's really funny. I imagine this is how it will be when I meet my bf's mother (which I dread). Only...I'm not pregnant. And...we probably WON'T end up liking each other in the end. (sigh)

The sappiness. The SAPPINESS...  
(Gags)

Thank you for reading! Uh...you should know what I'm thinking at this point...  
...No, it's not about tacos.  
...How did you guess super glue?  
...And that was just inappropriate.

REVIEW!

-Kelsey


	21. Twenty One

ANOTHER update? Yeah, yeah. This chapter turned out NOTHING like it originally was supposed to, but in a strange way I had a lot of fun with it. And I can't lie...there's some serious OOCness on behalf of one of them. But I mean, it's not really their fault, so you'll survive. :P

Sooooo thank you to anonymous, MissG2020, jayjai107, DarkPhoenixSaga, child who is cool, and Goku's Daughter for the reviews! And I forgot to mention this last chapter, but thank you to Ryuu Jaganshi who basically reminded me to get busy and keep going with this. Otherwise it honestly might have been delayed another couple weeks. :O

So, yes. You're all awesome. GO YOU!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Twenty One

On the morning of Sunday, February seventh, the now twenty one year old Huey Freeman lifted his head from his pillow to greet the new day. To bask in the glory of being a year old, a year wiser. To appreciate the joy of knowing that-

"I _don't _feel like listening to goddamn "Big Poppa" on repeat, Jazmine! _Dang_!" he yelled hoarsely before sneezing, rolling back over and tugging the blankets over his head. "This is…_bullshit_."

Or not.

Because irony was so, so cruel, it had chosen to let Huey get sick for probably the first time in _forever_. He supposed that his immune system crapping out on him while he still had insurance would have been asking too much. He suspected that getting sick during a time period that _wasn't _around his birthday would have also been asking too much. In fact, he was sure that the universe just hated him. As much as he hated the fact that Jazmine was blasting Biggie at eight in the morning.

He was genuinely glad that she'd gotten more into _black _music, but _really_?

"Sorry." Jazmine poked her head in the door, frowning. She was holding a steaming mug of tea and had on a light blue face mask which muffled her voice. She'd taken to wearing it from the first moment he'd sneezed nearly ten days before. Unlike him she probably got sick at least every other month. And given the current…circumstances, that might not have been the best thing. "I got excited. I _love _that song!"

"Along with the rest of America." He started to say something else but instead threw the covers over his head to block his sneezing fit. She winced, her frown deepening.

"Huey, you've been sick for over a week." She flopped down on the end of the bed, mindful of the used up tissues that were scattered over the covers. She handed him the mug, which he took while giving her a nod of thanks. "And you're not getting any better."

"I'm _fine_," he mumbled, sniffing and setting the cup aside. "I'm just…tired."

"Huey, Whitney Houston is "just tired"." She gestured to him. "You're…you're just _done_." When he glared at her in response she grabbed the thermometer off the nightstand and held it out towards him, giving him a look. He sighed, popping it in his mouth and rolling over onto his side again. "Thank you."

His shoulders shrugged. She sighed, offering his back a tiny smile. Too bad he couldn't see it.

"Sooo. Guess what today is?"

He glanced over his shoulder at her, pointing to the thermometer still sticking out his mouth and gave her a "duh" look. She rolled her eyes, sighing.

She felt bad. She couldn't help it! After all, he had school _and _two full time jobs now and the stress of it was probably what got him sick in the _first _place. And it wouldn't even have to be that way if she weren't-

"Sunday."

She looked up, glancing at him as he took the thermometer out since it was beeping.

"Well, you told me to guess." He shrugged. "Today's Sunday."

"_No_. Well, yes, but besides that, smarty pants." She stuck out her tongue, even if he couldn't see it from behind her mask. "What else?"

"The eleventh amendment to the constitution was ratified."

She blinked. "…Wait, what_?_"

"Haiti's first democratically elected president was sworn in."

"How do you even _know _all this?"

"Jazmine, you and I are both aware it's my birthday." He sighed before letting out a sneeze. "Your point?"

She blinked. "Did you make all that other stuff up?"

"No."

"Oh…" She shook her head. "Well, aren't you excited?"

"Oh, yes." He grabbed a tissue, proceeding to go into a series of coughs that made her eyes narrow. She snatched the thermometer back from him, studying it. "It is _riveting_."

"When did your chest start crackling like that?" she asked him, giving him a worried look.

"Huh?" He looked genuinely confused. Then again, the poor guy looked so out of it there wasn't much a surprise there. "What are you-" He broke off as she let out a tiny yell, her eyes widening as she stared down at the flashing digital numbers.

"One hundred four point _six_?" She shot him a horrified look. "That's even worse than _before _you started taking the Tylenol days ago! Huey, that's worse than yesterday! And the day before that!" She paused, looking close to hyperventilating. "_And the day before that_!"

"And that would be my eardrum." He shrugged listlessly, coughing into another tissue and sighing tiredly. "It's no big deal-" He gave her a grossed out look as she grabbed his tissue from him, opening it and examining its contents. "Oh, that's _disgusting, _Jazmine-"

"Shut up." She tossed the tissue aside, tugging back the covers. "Get up. We're going to the hospital."

"_What_?" He snorted, rolling over and coughing. "The hell we are. _You _can go. _I'm _going to sleep-"

"Get. Up." Jazmine's voice was hard. "_Now_."

He slowly glanced up, giving her a look before sighing.

"Okay, _fine_." He grabbed his tissue box, grumbling under his breath (when he wasn't coughing) and started to sit up…only for a strange look to fall over his face. He suddenly shook his head, lying back down.

"Changed my mind." He closed his eyes. "Not going."

She rolled her eyes. "Let me guess. You're dizzy."

He cracked an eye open to glare at her. "The way you say dizzy makes me sound so _weak_."

"Then you're _lightheaded_! Whatever! Huey, come _on_." She tugged him back up to his feet, throwing his arm around her shoulders so that she could at least keep him on balance. He sighed.

"Got me going to the damn ER…on a _Sunday_…on my _birthday_-"

"Boo hoo. You weren't doing anything else anyway." She grabbed his car keys, tossing him his coat and putting on her own. "Now, come on."

The drive to the hospital took more time than Jazmine liked being that it had snowed the night before and people were acting like they hadn't seen it in their lives before. She called the Emergency Room just to make sure she wasn't wasting her time taking him there and had to tell the nurse _and _a doctor what was wrong just for them to say "We can't diagnose over the phone". Never mind that they'd made her waste ten minutes of her time.

By the time they _did _get to the emergency room Huey had fallen asleep in the passenger seat and she had to wake him up, which made him grumpy all over again. By the time they made it inside and got up to the triage desk, her worry and frustration had manifested together to make a not-so-pleasant mood for herself. She placed her palms on the counter, staring at the bald black man with glasses who was typing something on the computer. He grabbed a form and a pen, glancing towards her.

"Name?"

Jazmine ignored the exasperated sigh that came from the man beside her, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the counter. She jabbed her thumb towards him so the man wouldn't think she was the sick one. "Huey Freeman."

"Birthday?"

"Two, seven, eighty nine."

The man's eyebrows lifted. "Sucks for him." He shrugged when Jazmine cut her eyes at him. "Sorry. He allergic to anything?"

"Penicillin and iodine."

Huey sniffed, rubbing his eyes. "I am? Forreal?"

Jazmine sighed, pointing past him. "Please go sit down."

He shook his head, sneezing and walking towards the group of chairs on the others side of the waiting room. It figured that he'd only listen to her when half out his mind.

She sighed, turning back towards the amused looking man.

"And what's the problem?" he asked.

"The problem?" Jazmine rolled her eyes as Huey burst into a series of coughs. "I told the nurse on the phone the problem. I told the doctor she put on the line the problem! Why the heck do I have to go into it _again_-" She stopped as she heard Huey sneeze and sigh tiredly. She shook her head.

"He's had a fever for five days and nothing's making it go down," she said, giving him a concerned look. "He's had a bad cough. And he's been really tired and nauseated and about three days ago he started having diarrhea-"

"No one wants to know about my _diarrhea_, _Jazmine_," Huey nearly growled from his seat before coughing again.

Jazmine shook her head at him before turning back to the receptionist, who was rapidly writing something down on a slip of paper. "He started getting chills and night sweats and he had a lot of trouble breathing when he was sleeping earlier this morning. I think he's got pneumonia."

"Jazmine, I don't want to _be _here-"

"_Shuddafuckup_," she hissed, silencing him instantly. The receptionist, meanwhile, sat up and evaluated her with critical eyes.

"You think he's got pneumonia, do you?" The receptionist looked annoyed. "You're the self diagnosing type? Think you know more than the doctor?"

Jazmine blinked in surprise. "No…but I'm a premed student. I just-"

"Ooh, so you _must _be smart-"

"I _don't _appreciate your attitude," Jazmine said in a low voice, causing Huey, along with the man, to stare at her with wide eyes. "And I _don't _need you acting like a wiseass. What I _do _need is for you to get a damn doctor to see my sick boyfriend or the only one that'll have to worry about getting a correct diagnosis is _you_!"

"Whoaaaaaa…okay." He quickly wheeled around, grabbing a chart and thrusting it towards her. "Here. Sit. Please."

"I _still _don't need to _be _here," Huey protested, sighing before sneezing into his sleeve as Jazmine threw herself into the chair beside him while studying the form. He rested his chin in his hand, his eyes narrowing at a plant that was past Jazmine. He obviously thought he was looking at her. "I mean, people who got shot or have forks sticking out their eye sockets need to be here. I don't. I just need to _sleep._"

"You don't know _what _you need," she snapped, annoyed as she uncapped the pen. No doubt her motherly instincts were kicking into high gear. "Because for one, I'm not even _over there._" She snapped her fingers, pointing towards herself. Huey blinked, shaking his head slowly. "For another, I don't believe you. If you would have just let me take you to a doctor before it wouldn't have gotten so bad-"

"I _don't _need to go at all!" he nearly yelled, causing a good portion of people in the waiting room to glare at him. "That's what I have an immune system for-"

"Blah blah immune system blah blah whining blah blah _shut up and sit there, Huey_," Jazmine nearly growled. He glared at her before resting his forehead on his knees, closing his eyes. "Geez. I've never met someone who's such a baby about going to the Emergency Room-"

"If they make me get any kind of shot," Huey mumbled. "You will be sorry. You will be _very _sorry-"

"They're not going to give you a shot," Jazmine said softly, writing. "At the most you'll pee in a cup, get a culture and a prescription for some antibiotics. Maybe since you, you know, _waited _so long, they'll stick you on an IV-"

"_What_?" Huey shook his head. "Oh, no. _Hell _no. They are _not _sticking me with one of those…" His words trailed off as he started coughing again. Jazmine pat his back, sighing.

"Just try to relax-"

"I don't. _Like. Hospitals_."

"Well you're sure going to be a big help when _I _have to go!"

"That's different! You're gonna be admitted, not me!"

"Just hush."

"I don't wanna."

She rolled her eyes. Leave it to sickness to bring out the kid in him.

"Then _don't_. _Keep _talking. _Make _it harder on yourself to breathe. I don't care."

Huey glanced up at her, frowning.

"What the hell are you mad at me for?"

"I am mad at you," Jazmine shot back. "Because you need to take better care of yourself."

"Oh, my god." Huey rolled his eyes. "It's a cold-"

"It's pneumonia!"

"Then if you know what it is, _why _are we _here_?" he snapped.

"So you can get something to get rid of it since it's probably not viral!" she shot back.

"I don't need anything!" His words were followed by a series of coughs that made the closest patient wince and move down a few seats. Jazmine rolled her eyes.

"Of course not." She paused, glancing down at the form. "So, you're social security number's two two five, one six, seven two eighty four, right?"

"Yes." Huey's tone was filled with sarcasm. "Just say my social security number_ out loud_. That's perfectly smart."

"Sorry." She paused again. "How tall are you?"

"Jazmine, I don't _know_. Just put something!"

"Eight foot twelve."

He glared at her. She glared back. Finally he sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Six two. Or something."

"Six two…or something. Got it."

"You did not just write that."

"I did."

"Give me _that_-" Huey wrestled the form away from her, sitting up to finish it. "_God._" He groaned at the stationary page. "I wish this stupid paper would stop _moving_! Then maybe I could read it!"

The mulatto sighed, taking the form away from him.

"It's not even the paper that's messed up, it's your _vision_. Just _give me that._"Jazmine shook her head as she wrote, aware of Huey staring over her shoulder. He sighed when he saw her get to the last portion, where she paused and bit her lip.

"Insurance information. Lovely." His tone was dry. "Let me just fill that out. Oh, _wait_. I _can't_. Because I don't _have any_."

Jazmine closed her eyes, massaging her temples. "Huey, don't do this-"

"Which is _exactly why _I didn't want to come," he went on, ignoring her. "Do you know how much ER visits cost when you don't have insurance?"

"You could possibly need a chest x ray which is going to run between one twenty and two hundred since a radiologist will have to read it along with another doctor before it gets sent back," Jazmine said in a flat voice, shooting him a dirty look. "Antibiotics I'm willing to say are going to be from fifty to a hundred, depending on if the bacteria's wiped out all your natural flora from you _waiting so long_. Depending on how advanced it is they might inject you with something here. It's going to be anywhere from five hundred to one grand, no doubt."

"Ah." Huey sighed before coughing again. "That…helps. Really."

Jazmine sighed. "Huey-"

"I could probably just sleep it off-"

"Huey-"

"-And be perfectly fine in a few days-"

"_Huey_-"

"- Instead of spending all the money I'mtrying to save on damn hospital visits-"

"I don't give two shits about money, Huey!" Jazmine suddenly yelled, making him nearly fall out his chair. Everyone's heads whipped up. "You're sick and you need a doctor or you could die and you can't use saved money if you're_ dead_! So just _shut up_ and sit there and stop all your damn complaining because I care enough to bring your sorry ass to a hospital! I'm sorry you being so sick scared me! I'm sorry I want you to get better! My bad!" She threw up her hands. "My _fucking bad_!I'M SUCH A BAD PERSON!"

The entire waiting room fell silent. Huey gaped at her. Jazmine was so upset tears were dancing on her eyelashes and her nose was already turning red, a sure sign that the floodgates were about to burst open.

"Jesus, Jazmine. I'm _sorry_." He shook his head, exhaling lightly before coughing all over again. "I'll stop. Just…don't cry, okay?"

She sniffed, slouching in her chair and nodding. The man at the desk let out a low whistle, shaking his head and picking up a phone.

"Yeahhhh…we're just gonna push you through." He crooked his finger towards him. "Come on, sicky boy."

"He did _not _just call me that," Huey mumbled as Jazmine nearly wrestled him to his feet, tugging on his arm and stomping towards the desk so quickly he tripped, nearly throwing his chart to the receptionist. Said receptionist held up a sheet.

"Make sure all the information's right and give me your left arm." Huey sighed, shooting Jazmine a dark look while the man attached a hospital band around his wrist. Jazmine scanned the sheet, nodding.

"That's right."

"Alright…Charlene!" He snapped his fingers again towards a doctor who was poking her head out a set of double doors, pointing to Huey. "He's next."

A few other people in the room groaned, Huey included. Jazmine rolled her eyes, heading back towards the chairs and flopping into the one closest to the doors that led back into the hospital. Huey gave her a look.

"You're not going to let me go back there _alone_…right?" His voice was filled with disbelief. She pointed to her face mask.

"I don't think that would be a good idea." She lifted the mask long enough to give him a reassuring smile. "You'll be fine. Okay?"

He shot her a dirty look, mumbling "Traitor" before following the doctor back through the double doors, both of them swinging shut. She sighed, grabbing a magazine and flipping through it, not really reading it.

This really sucked. Not for her, but for Huey. It was his _birthday _for crying out loud! And while he was never one to get worked up over birthdays and always refused any sort of celebration…well, he didn't have to have _pneumonia_. And the fact that he refused to go to a doctor because he didn't have insurance was just _wrong_.

She wished she could do something to cheer him up.

Well…he was never exactly _cheerful_, so it was more like she wished she could do something where he would be less miserable than usual.

Unfortunately, a good hour later, she still hadn't come up with any good ideas. And, when the doctor poked her head out the doors, crooking her finger towards her, she had a feeling that her lack of creativity was the least of her problems.

"So, is he okay?" she asked, following the woman through the doors. She nodded.

"Well, yes." She made a face. "Unfortunately, he stopped cooperating when one of the nurses tried to insert an IV. He had to be held down by five other doctors. And…then he threw up on the floor."

Jazmine winced.

"He was…pretty apologetic after that," the doctor went on, looking somewhat amused. "But he was apologetic to the clock a good foot away from my _head_, not to mention his oxygen levels were a bit lower than average. So he's going to be here a few more hours."

Ooh. He was gonna be pissed about _that _one.

"His lab work's still getting done, but we're positive it's bacterial pneumonia and if so, it's a bit farther along than preferred. But he'll be fine," she added upon seeing Jazmine's face. "He's feeling a lot better since we gave him something to help with chest pains he said he was having. He's just…a little drowsy."

"A _little _drowsy?" Another doctor walked past, not even looking up from his chart and snorting. "I think the stuff they gave him has driven him out of his sick little mind."

Jazmine blinked. "Why do you say that?"

"Because he is currently watching _The Powerpuff Girls _and won't stop laughing at the bowl of rice pudding on the table by his bed that _isn't there_."

Jazmine's eyes grew large. He smirked.

"Forgive me for saying this, but…doped up Mr. Freeman seems much funnier and less depressing."

"He's not _that _depressing_-" _When both doctors gave her "Girl, please" looks she rolled her eyes. "Never mind." She followed the doctor down the hallway and around the corner, pausing behind the woman as she stopped at the fourth door on their right. She knocked on the frame before walking in.

"How are you-" she stopped, giving him a funny look. Jazmine did the same. "Why is there a _clown _in your room?"

Huey, who was looking _way _too calm about being in a hospital for him to be normal, shrugged and glanced at the clown who was standing beside his bed, attempting to make some sort of balloon animal.

"I don't know." His voice sounded airy and lost. "Everyone keeps telling me it's my birthday so I'm just going with it."

Jazmine snorted, covering her face mask with her hand. Huey glanced at her, his eyebrows lifting.

"Has anyone ever told you how _pretty _you are?"

Oh, god. He was _gone._ It took all the restraint she possessed to keep from laughing. "Um…yeah. They have."

"Oh." He glanced back to the clown. "Are you…is that supposed to be a corndog?"

"It's a _giraffe_, nigga!" the clown yelled angrily, flinging the "balloon animal" to the floor. "Can't do nothin' nice fo' nobody!"

"It…kinda does looks like a corndog, actually." Jazmine tilted her head to the side, examining it through squinted eyes. The clown's fists clenched.

"I ain't come here to volunteer just to get laughed at!" he snapped. She frowned.

"So, do you always yell when you talk?"

"Okay, Jojo." The doctor made a cutthroat motion with her hand, shaking her head. "One, you're supposed to be in the_ children's _ward. This is the ER, honey. Two, you were a temp. And three…" She winced, holding up her hand. "Just…just go home."

"Yeah!" "Jojo" stomped through the door, his laughing heard even when he was way down the hallway. "_Fuck _this joint!"

"Hey!" Huey sat up. "That bastard took my pudding!"

Jazmine exchanged looks with the doctor.

"This…is one weird hospital."

The doctor looked heavenward. "I'm trying to get transferred."

Jazmine nodded before walking over to the chair beside Huey's bed, sitting down and sighing in relief. "I see _you're _doing better. I doubt you're going to remember…any of this, but I'm glad you're okay."

"Oh, my god, pretty lady." Huey sighed. His autumn brown eyes were literally _sparkling_. She wished she had a camera just so she could prove that this actually happened. "You won't believe this shit. They gave me _magic juice_."

Jazmine slowly turned back towards the doctor. "Whatever you gave him, I want some."

The doctor laughed, turning around and walking out the room. "I'll be back to check on you in a while, Mr. Freeman!" she called over her shoulder. "If your chest is still bothering you let us know and we'll start another line of-"

"If whatever you're gonna give me is gonna keep me feeling _this _good, you can give me whatever you want," Huey said. It was as if he'd hit _nirvana_. The doctor shook her head, glancing at Jazmine.

"The drowsiness should wear off in the next half hour, okay?"

She nodded. The doctor left and Huey glanced back at Jazmine, grinning.

"I love your eyes."

She blinked. "Huey, do you even know who I _am _right now?"

"…it starts with a _C_, right?"

Well at least _something _had him over his hospital and needle phobias (not that he'd ever admit to having them). She sighed, shaking her head as she heard familiar footsteps and Riley strutted in, freezing after he spotted his obviously delusional brother. His nose wrinkled.

"_Ewww_. Dis nigga got SARS!" He shook his head. "Nuh uh! Deez niggas ain't tell me _dat _when they called!"

"He has _pneumonia_, Riley." She gestured to his IV. "And, after they take him off whatever pain meds he's on, amnesia."

"So, how come the kids never gave the rabbit any Trix? Ain't he the one on the front of the damn box?" Huey looked away from the TV, blinking at Riley. "You have a funny face."

His younger brother's eyebrows lifted. Jazmine pat Huey's head, giving him a sympathetic look.

"My poor baby." She sighed. "My poor, delusional baby."

"Delusional' nothin'! Dat nigga straight retarded!"

"Riley!" Jazmine grabbed the remote, throwing it at him. He glared at her when it smacked his arm and clattered to the floor. "Cut it out. I mean, it's his birthday-"

"Birthday?" Riley scratched his head. "I really though his shit was in August."

"…Well, it's not." Jazmine sighed, giving Huey a look. "I feel so bad. This is a crappy way to spend your birthday."

"It's not your fault, Georgia." Huey pat her hand. "These things happen."

Jazmine started to speak, then stopped. She gave him a look.

"Who the hell is Georgia?"

"Uh…_you _are." Huey poked her nose. "Duh."

Jazmine turned to Riley and mouthed "_Georgia_?" before turning back to him. "Okay, well…you just go to sleep. _Please._" She shook her head. "Anyway." She looked back at Riley. "I feel terrible. I really wish we could do something for him."

"_We_?"

"Yes, Riley. _We_." Jazmine shot him a dangerous look. "You're gonna help me do something nice for his birthday!"

"You _have _to listen to her!" Huey interjected, causing both of them to look his way. When they did, he shrugged. "Well, she _is _the good looking one."

Jazmine smirked while Riley scowled. "Actually…I think I like him like this."

"Man, whateva." Riley suddenly snapped his fingers. "Ooh! I gots an idea!"

"Really?" Jazmine sat up. "What is it?"

"What is it?" Huey asked excitedly. Riley blinked.

"Loopy Nigga Huey's real weird. Anyway." He grinned. "Hospital party."

Jazmine blinked. And then she was stomping over to him, smacking his arm.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"That's a _stupid _idea, you…stupidhead!" she yelled. "How would you even _have _a hospital party? Who would _want _a hospital party?"

"Well…if dey wuz gettin' me a cake I'd want one. You know, as long as the hoes be there."

Jazmine massaged her temples. "Riley, that is so-"

"You know, that tile in the corner? Up there?" Both Jazmine and Riley looked up at the ceiling to where Huey was pointing. "It reminds me of...wait." He frowned. "What was the question?"

"Jazmine, I think at dis point tha only thang dat nigga gon need fo his birthday is a straight jacket." Riley let out a low whistle. "Betta luck next year."

"Ugh." Jazmine smacked her palm against her forehead. She felt her phone vibrating and slid it open, pressing it to her ear. "_Hello_?"

"Damn, Jazzy Fresh." Cindy's cheerful tone sounded through the phone. "You soundin' all mad and shit!"

"I'm not mad." She sighed, glancing back towards Huey, who was back to watching the ceiling tiles and Riley, who was now slouched in the chair she'd vacated, looking angry. "It's just I'm at the hospital and-"

"What?" Cindy's voice was so loud in her ear she almost dropped the phone. "Are you okay? Oh, my god are you in premature-"

"C-Cindy! It's only been like, five months!" She rolled her eyes. "_I'm _not in the hospital. Huey is. He's sick and drugged out of his mind and Riley's not helping and all I want is for Huey to have a good birthday! And for his drugs to wear off, because he is _creeping me out_."

"Oh. Dang." Cindy paused. "Well, he's never cared about birthdays before. Remember when we were fourteen and you were going out with that Darnell guy who he _was _friends with before he realized he liked you and then hated?"

"Darnell…" Jazmine snapped her fingers. "Oh, yeah! He tried to sing him happy birthday and Huey punched him in the throat!"

"_Exactly_."

Jazmine griped her neck. "You don't think he'd punch _me _in the throat if I tried to sing him happy birthday, do you?"

"Jazmine, you can't sing for shit."

"You know _what_-"

"Hey, I've got an idea!" Cindy sounded cheerful. "If you want him to snap out of it then why don't you let _me _wish him happy birthday?"

"Why would I do that?" Jazmine made a face. "No offense, I'm gonna love you till the day I die, but…he hates you."

There was a chuckle in Cindy's voice. "_Exactly_." When Jazmine blinked in confusion she heard Cindy sigh. "His hatred for me is so strong it'll knock the drowsy right out of him. And then, once he's not being so insane, you can ask him what he wants for his birthday!"

Jazmine looked skeptical. "Huey doesn't like a _lot _of things…or people…or places…but I doubt he feels _that _strongly about you."

Cindy's voice was dry. "Try me."

Jazmine shrugged, wandering back into the room where Huey was _still _staring at the ceiling and Riley was _still _looking angry. She stepped up to Huey's bedside, holding out the phone and shrugging.

"Er…someone wants to talk to you?"

Huey slowly stared at the phone, then back at her face. Then, he burst out laughing.

"Nigga, you _stoopid_," Riley mumbled. Huey took the phone from Jazmine, holding it up to his ear.

"Hello? _Hello_?" He blinked. "HELLO?"

"Huey! You're holding it the _wrong _way!" Jazmine snatched the phone from him, gently turning it to its opposite side and handing it back to him. He stared at it as if it was a new piece of technology from the future.

"Ohhhh." He put it up to his ear again, coughing and lying back against his pillow. "Hello?"

Jazmine shook her head, watching him. For a moment he didn't say anything as he listened to whatever Cindy was saying. And in the next…he was sitting up, his eyes narrowing and a familiar scowl falling over his face.

"Cindy, you are lame and you have no friends. You are weird and you probably snort. No amount of association with anything positive could ever make anyone like you." Jazmine's jaw dropped. Riley's eyes widened. Huey rolled his eyes, holding the phone away from his ear and glancing up at a perplexed Jazmine. "What the _hell _am I on? I feel like…petting puppies or hugging trees, and that shit's just not gonna happen." He held the phone back out to her. "You let her tell me happy birthday? _Really_? Like I care about a birthday right now?"

"_Wow_." Jazmine gaped at him as he coughed. "Do you…do you remember anything from before?"

"What?" He looked annoyed. "Oh, my god. What the _hell _is this on TV? Someone kill me. Please."

She frowned. Wow. She missed drugged up Huey _already. _Shaking her head she turned back around and pressed the phone up to her ear. "Uh…hello?"

"Hi." Cindy's voice was sour. Her best friend cringed.

"Sooo…you told him happy birthday."

"Yeah."

Jazmine frowned. "Well…I'm sure that was just the pneumonia talking."

"…but he said the same thing to me on his _twentieth _birthday!" Cindy yelled. Jazmine winced.

"Well…maybe they're terms of endearment?"

There was a pause. "Maybe I'm just always going to hate your boyfriend."

"Well, thanks for…you know. Being…you?" When Cindy merely sighed in response she hung up, turning around to face the other two. Riley was laughing. Huey was glaring at him. She cleared her throat, causing them to stop and stare at her.

"How are you feeling?" she asked softly. Huey shrugged, looking tired.

"Better. I guess-"

"WHATDOYOUWANTFORYOURBIRTHDAY?"

Huey blinked. "Was that…English?"

"Funny." She gave him a pleading look. "Huey, you've gotta tell me something you want for your birthday. Because this has _got _to be your crappiest birthday ever. And I feel bad!"

He snorted. "You _always _feel bad." When she frowned in response he rolled his eyes, letting out a cough before going on. "I don't care. Birthdays are just another day of the year where you remember your increasing age, which means you are _that _much closer to dying. I don't want to celebrate my rapid acceleration towards my _death_, Jazmine. But thanks anyway."

She tilted her head, examining him. "You…are one depressing person."

"Man." Riley kicked his foot in the air, folding his arms over his chest. "Today _sucks_."

Jazmine looked so bummed out that Huey sighed.

"Okay, look." She glanced at him. "I have accepted that my birthdays suck. I don't care. The only reason I even celebrate yours is because it's one less thing I have to hear you whine about-"

"Wow. It's like you're normal Huey, only even _more _vicious."

"What I _mean_," he went on, not the least bit affected by her words. "Is that having good birthdays makes you happy, and having stupid ones is fine with me, because I couldn't care less."

"But-"

"I don't giveeee a shitttt Jazmineeeee." He drew out the sentence as if talking to the hearing impaired. She glared at him. He glanced down at his arm, cringing at the IV sticking in it. "If you're so hell bent on me having a good birthday, get this thing _out _my arm, get me the hell out of here, and erase the hospital bill they're going to slap on my insurance lacking ass-"

"Done, done and done!" Jazmine cheered, clapping her hands together and spinning around, rushing out the room. Huey bolted up.

"I was being sarcastic!" he shouted after her. Doctors and nurses were turning around, giving both him a strange look. "Don't you _dare _pay that!"

"Too late!" he heard Jazmine call in a singsong voice. He groaned, grabbing his IV pole and struggling to rise to his feet. Riley cringed.

"I aunno mane, you wuz on dem drugs hard…I aunno if you should be tryna walk nowhere-"

"_Oof_."

Riley shrugged, grabbing the remote and changing the channel, ignoring the pained groaning coming from his brother, who had stood to his feet only to fall over not even a second later.

"Told ya."

"Riley," Huey managed weakly, pushing himself up to his elbows. Luckily his IV was still intact. "Stop…her…"

"Nigga, dat's a _long _walk. Uh uh."

"I _don't _want her paying my…" He stopped as he spotted a pink balloon…_thing _on the opposite side of the bed. "Why am I staring at a balloon shaped as a corndog?"

"NIGGA, IT'S A GIRAFFE!" A sudden shriek from out in the hallway made him jump, his eyes wide. Riley shook his head, propping his feet up on the edge of the bed.

"Damn." He picked up the remote, changing the channel. He ignored Huey's glare. "Well, nigga…welcome ta twenty one."

"Man, _Fuck _you."

* * *

The sad part is I know someone who had a shitty birthday somewhat similar to this. Minus corndog shaped giraffes.  
I remember the year everyone forgot my birthday because of the Olympics. Oh, boy. Pissed. haha.

But since noooo one caressss, thanks for reading! Review, if it tickles your...pickle...

...Nothing about that statement seems okay.

-Kelsey


	22. The Trade Off

Holy smokes I was excited to check this thing and see all the reviews! Thanks to insert psuedonym, Goku's Daughter, DarkPhoenixSaga, child who is cool, MissG2020, Victoria, iAnneart01, and xXMissJanuary1996Xx for the reviews! I'm like, four away from ONE HUNDRED! :O  
So much joy...and joyness...I'm going to stop now...

Sooo, this chapter's not humorous...it's more like a kinda-had-to-do-it since it was bound to come up eventually one. The feel-good _morals _and _happy feelings _made me want to barf. SPEAKING OF THAT:

_"Is the whole Cairo appearing and the vomiting induced by sappiness in your updates a coincidence or does it mean something deeper...?"_

Total accident/coinkeedeenk. It was a part of a hilarious that happened right before I updated that had to do with...vomit...being induced...you had to be there. LOL. I didn't even realize I did that. Great observation! :O

_"Were you talking about the last Olympics in Vancouver?"_

Nah, the 2008 ones in Beijing. I have absolutely no team spirit or whatever. Everyone was all "USA! USA!" and I'm just like "FFFFUUUUUUU!" Haha.

_"Is his middle name really percy?"_

I don't even know. Since he was named after Huey P. Newton and HIS middle name was Percy I figured it would be the closest I'd get to a good one.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

The Trade Off

It was eleven fifty six pm on February thirteenth, and February thirteenth could kiss her biracial ass.

Actually, February twelfth to around February fifteenth could just suck it big time.

From February twelfth to February fifteenth, Huey and Jazmine found every excuse to be away from each other, whether with work or school or _whatever_. Shoot, they'd take community service. Possibly go rob a bank. _Anything _to have to avoid looking each other in the eye, having a conversation, or risking an argument.

_Especially _the last one.

Resentful was hardly ever a word that was used when one thought of Jazmine Dubois. She was a peace_maker_. She took grudges about as seriously as people took Crusty the Clown. She may have been sensitive, she might have been emotional, but she was never bitter. She didn't stay angry for long periods of time. She could do silent treatments, but even those got annoying after the second day. Passive aggressiveness, her specialty when applied, wasn't even a weapon that she pulled out all that often.

And Huey was never, _ever _anything other than straightforward. He was honest to the point of it being painful. He was direct, clear-cut and undeviating.

But when it started drawing closer to Valentine's Day? Well, it seemed the well known rules of Huey Freeman and Jazmine Dubois just flew out the window. And it didn't look like this year would be any different.

It wasn't that they were mad at each other, because they weren't. They were…cautious. She remembered and he knew that she remembered and both of them knew that the other was thinking about it, and it just became impossible to get past that. Back when they were freshmen in college they'd managed to work out everything to the point where she thought she was over it and that even if she wasn't, she would be.

But when Valentine's Day, the day…_it _happened, rolled around, she just forgot to forget it. And in turn, she avoided him. She didn't want to get mad at him for something she had forgiven him for two years ago all over again (she _had _forgiven him…right?) because that wouldn't be fair.

But then again…it hadn't exactly been fair for him to put her through that in the _first _place.

So, Huey, not being an idiot, didn't try to push her into talking about it. Instead, he managed to keep his space away from her, too. He could tell her how he _still _felt guilty about it and that he was sorry, but he'd already said all that stuff when it had actually happened! Besides, he was the one always saying that words were just that: words. He could say sorry until he was blue in the face but it wouldn't change that he'd _done _it.

While it was annoying that after two years she was still upset about it, it was even more annoying that he still felt so damn _bad _about it.

So, from around the evening of February eleventh until that point, they'd both skillfully maneuvered around each other, not staying in the same room for too long or speaking too much. They watched every word that came out of their mouths as if looking for land mines. They slept with their backs turned to each other just so they wouldn't have to worry about whether the other one was asleep or not (even though neither one of them could do much sleeping). They kept to themselves, too afraid to bring it up, even if they were both well aware that it was there, as if they could somehow ignore it and make it go away.

And then, February fifteenth would arrive, and they'd slowly go back to normal. They'd start talking more. By the end of the day there'd be less tension. And by the sixteenth it would be as if it were never there in the first place.

But the fact that the same cycle was repeating itself this year just proved that it happened. And if they kept going on like this, it might _always _happen.

Eleven fifty eight pm, Jazmine noted to herself as she glanced from the window to the clock on the kitchen. She turned back to the windowsill she was sitting on, watching the heavy snow flurries fly down towards the earth. She loved snow. It was so fluffy and white and pure and…ghetto.

She squinted, leaning closer to the window to try and see to where it looked like Earl the Crackhead was trying to rob a car. She sighed and shook her head. Normal Jazmine would have done something about it. Offbeat Jazmine just couldn't bring herself to care.

Her day hadn't been _too _bad, actually, minus all the pink and red and hearts and _frilly _shit that had overtaken a good portion of the city. Then again, she'd worked a double since she didn't have classes on Fridays so she didn't have to see much of it. Afterwards she'd helped her friend Margo pick out a gift for her boyfriend for Valentine's Day (which hadn't been _too _annoying) so by the time she got home Huey was already in their room so she didn't need to worry about making conversation.

But now it was eleven fifty nine and it was almost _that _day. How ironic that her once favorite holiday was now her least favorite day of the year. Even more so than the day her grandma died. Even more than when she failed high school chemistry.

"I'm going to bed."

She looked up to see Huey standing by the doorway to their room, glancing at her over his shoulder. She nodded.

"Okay."

He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something else before nodding as well, pushing the door open. She quickly turned back towards the window, resting her hands on her knees. She could feel his eyes on her but she didn't dare turn around. After a few seconds he sighed.

"Jazmine-"

"Goodnight." She didn't mean for her voice to sound so harsh, but it did. There was a pause.

"Goodnight."

She heard the door close and sighed, running her hands across her face and staring out to the night sky again. She hated Valentine's Day so much. It put pressure on people. It made it seem that those who were alone were worthless. It made people lonely.

And when people were lonely, they sometimes they did stupid things.

When she thought of Valentine's Day it was the first thing she remembered, and she knew for a fact it was what he thought of as well. After all, it was Valentine's Day that had made her break up with him almost two years ago. It was Valentine's Day that had made her resent him more than she'd imagined being able to resent someone. It was Valentine's Day that had made her realize that it was a lot harder trusting people than she'd ever expected.

It was funny how she'd forgiven him so long ago, yet all it took was the passing of February fourteenth to make them both suffer all over again.

She didn't try to be complicated. She really didn't. It was just that all she could remember, all she could _see_, was him and _her_. And instead of risking saying something to start something, instead of giving away her feelings, she didn't say anything. And him, not wanting to start anything since it was basically _his _fault, stayed quiet as well. It was practically the _only _occasion where neither of them was themselves.

And, for the life of her, she could not figure out how to fix it.

She was tired but she knew if she tried to go to bed she wouldn't be able to sleep, especially not with him less than a foot away from her. Then, since he'd know _she _couldn't sleep _he _wouldn't be able to sleep. They'd lie in the dark for seconds, minutes, _hours_, without speaking. Without looking at each other. Without touching.

She glanced at the clock on the wall, watching the long and short hands land on the twelve. Midnight. She shook her head, turning away from the window and sliding off the sill, migrating to the other side of the room to flop down on the couch. Maybe she could watch TV. No, it wouldn't help; all anyone would be showing would be shows or movies about romance and perfect little couples and blah blah _blah_.

Or…maybe she could eat something! She shook her head, running a hand through her hair. She was forever trying to eat away her problems.

She glanced back towards the window. On a whim she rose to her feet, creeping over to the hall closet and opening the door. She shrugged into her coat and pulled a hat over her ears. She shoved her socked feet into a pair of boots, digging into her pockets and pulling out gloves, which she slid over her fingers. She quietly grabbed her key, dropping it in her pocket and heading for the door.

"Where are you going?" she heard from behind her. She swallowed, shrugging.

"Walking."

It sounded stupid, especially since walking by yourself at midnight wasn't exactly the smartest thing to do. Sure enough…

"At midnight. In twenty degree weather." She could hear the skepticism in his voice. She shrugged, opening the door.

"I'll be back soon." And with that she stepped out, shutting the door behind her.

She rode the elevator down, the only other rider being some old man who literally fell asleep between floors seven and the ground floor, where the sounds of the doors opening caused him to awaken with a start. She herself walked out the elevator, heading to the front doors and pushing them open. She was greeted by a face full of snow.

Geez. It had been much prettier inside where it was _warm_. Still, the sharp wind seemed to clear her mind and she sighed, starting down the sidewalk.

Was she wrong for dwelling on something that had happened so long ago? Had she been wrong for being mad at him in the first place? They _had _been on a break. And he wasn't the only one who had strained their relationship to the point where they'd needed one. She'd been the one who was always trying to accuse him of something, who had started so many arguments going off opinions that weren't even right. They'd fought so much she couldn't even remember them all.

What he'd done wasn't her fault…but she sure hadn't helped the situation leading up to it much. And she wasn't helping _now_, still being upset over what she'd forgiven him for. But she couldn't help it. As stupid as it was, she couldn't stand Valentine's Day. As much as she'd hate to admit it she couldn't stand most of February and most of March, either. For every day he'd been with stupid Maya, for every moment he didn't think twice about _her_, she just wanted to knock them both upside the head.

She didn't know where she had exactly been heading, but after a good half an hour she found herself walking past an older homeless woman, who was shivering under a raggedy blanket. She frowned, stopping in her tracks.

Well, she'd been cheated on. That sucked and all, but…at least she wasn't _homeless_. The woman lifted her head, looking hopeful. Jazmine felt around in her pockets but when her fingers came out empty she winced.

"I don't have any money." The woman's head lowered. Jazmine sighed. "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, child." The woman's voice was soft, so quiet that she could barely be heard. Jazmine glanced around. This was completely stupid of her and she was probably going to be found by morning dead of hypothermia, but…she unbuttoned her coat, taking it off and holding it out towards the woman. When she lifted her head again her eyes widened. Jazmine shrugged.

"It's a coat."

As if the woman couldn't see that. She began to shake her head but Jazmine smiled, shaking it.

"I'll be okay. I'm…going home anyway." So much for walking. The woman slowly reached out, taking the coat from her and rubbed the material between her shaking fingers.

"T-thank you." She looked like she was on the verge of tears. Jazmine nodded, making a U-turn and starting back for the apartment. Only before she could move she heard the woman speak.

"Is it a boy or a girl?"

She paused, turning towards the woman and shrugging. "I don't know," she admitted, zipping up the hoodie she'd been wearing under the coat up to her chin. "I'm waiting."

The woman nodded, shrugging into Jazmine's coat and sighing. "Thank you. It's very rare that people show such kindness these days."

Jazmine didn't blame them. Kindness won't cheap. That damn coat had cost her nearly a hundred bucks. But as she saw the content look that fell over the woman's face she couldn't help but feel a bit better about herself.

The woman shook her head, going on. "You lose a job, lose your home, and suddenly no one knows you or wants anything to do with you. No one has consideration for other people anymore. Not for their needs or their feelings-"

"Got that right." Jazmine didn't even realize she'd spoken until the woman was staring up at her. "Oh. Sorry."

"It's fine." She shook her head. "It's Valentine's Day. You're one of the only people I've seen alone." She tilted her head to the side. "Why is that?"

Jazmine shrugged, thinking of some excuse. She wasn't going to tell some poor homeless lady about her lame problems. "It's just…Valentine's Day isn't really our thing." The woman nodded, spreading the holey blanket over herself again and shrugging. "It used to be my thing," she found herself adding. "But…then he kind of messed it up for me. Not intentionally, but-"

"There are more important things in this world," the woman said with a gentle smile. "Than a silly commercial holiday." Jazmine nodded. "Besides, I'm sure there's other ways he shows he loves you."

_Yup. He sleeps with other women._

"I guess." Jazmine shrugged. "I mean, I know he does. It's just..." She sighed in frustration. "It's just really hard to explain."

The woman gave her a seemingly knowing look.

"The thing about us all," she said quietly. "Is that we all make mistakes. Sometimes they're minor, and sometimes they're to the point where you wonder if you'll ever recover from them." Jazmine blinked, surprised. "My family all turned their backs on me. And as foolish as it sounds, I hold no bitterness towards them. I forgave them. If I were angry at every person who did me wrong I'd be in an even worse state than I am _now. _Anyway, Human_s_ are all so different. They laugh differently, cry different, love differently…" She paused, her dark blue eyes boring into hers. "Just because he might not always love you the way you want him to, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you with all he's got."

Jazmine swallowed. The woman laughed softly, waving her hand towards her.

"I've going to let you go now, sweetie." She gestured to her. "Can't let you two freeze to death."

Jazmine nodded, turning away. She paused again.

"Thank you." The woman nodded. "What's your name?"

She smiled, crinkly lines forming around the edges of her mouth. "The name's Vega. And you would be…"

"Jazmine."

"Well, thank you, Jazmine." The woman nodded. "I am forever grateful to you."

She nodded, starting back home again, throwing her hood over her hat and tugging the drawstring as tightly as she could to block out the air. She stuffed her hands back in her pockets, the words of the woman floating around in her mind. Her mind was so preoccupied with her thoughts that she didn't even realize she'd made it back until she spotted a familiar person sitting at the top of the steps to the entrance, his elbows on his knees. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, blinking in surprise. He stared back, as if waiting for her to say something. She took a deep breath.

"How long have you been out here?"

He shrugged, lifting the sleeve of his dark hoodie to check his watch. "An hour, I guess."

She grabbed the railing, taking a step forward. "What were you doing?"

He shrugged again, staring at the ground. "Waiting for you." He held up her phone. "I tried calling you…and then it kind of didn't work out."

"I forgot it." She sighed. "I'm sorry."

He glanced at her, giving her a funny look. "What happened to your coat?"

"Uh…" She waved her hand. "Long story."

After another long silence she took another deep breath, staring down at her feet.

"I'm sorry." She glanced back up at him, shrugging. "I haven't been too…nice these past couple of days."

He snorted, shrugging. "It's nothing."

"It is." She shook her head, giving him a look. "How can you sit there and say it's not?"

"Because I don't know what I'm supposed to _do_, Jazmine." Huey gave her a look of his own. "I don't know what you want me to say or what you want me to do and it's as if whatever I do isn't going to matter, because it's not going to change anything about this."

Jazmine swallowed, looking away. "I'm sorry," she repeated softly. Three apologies in one minute. Huey shook his head.

"Do you even know what you're apologizing _for_?"

Her response was automatic.

"Did you?"

They didn't say anything, the noises of passing cars and the occasional loudness of passing people filling their silence. After awhile he lifted his head again.

"Of course I did. And I meant it." He chanced a glance at her. "Just like I thought you meant it when you said you'd forgiven me."

"I have."

"Funny." He snorted. "You and I have completely different definitions of forgiveness."

She felt her fist clench. "So now this is my fault."

"I didn't say that."

"It has to be someone's."

"Says who?"

She shut her mouth, looking away. After a few more moments she shoved her hands in her pockets, staring down at her feet.

"I did forgive you." She could feel his eyes on her. "And it took awhile for me to be able to say I wasn't mad at you about it and mean it." She took a deep breath, blinking back tears. She couldn't believe that after all this time it felt as painful as the day it happened. "But you have to understand. I'm always going to remember Valentine's Day as the day that I didn't matter to you." She _really _couldn't look at him now. "For those twenty four hours you cared about _her _and not _me. _When you were with her I didn't matter. And it hurts."

He didn't say anything to interrupt her. She didn't know if that was a good or bad thing.

"I'm not mad at you." She finally lifted her head to look him in the eye and even managed a small smile. "I haven't been mad at you in a long time. And I have forgiven you." She swallowed. "But I won't forget it. Not because I don't try, but because I can't. And I don't think I should have to feel bad for not being able to." She sniffed, wiping her nose with her sleeve, her other hand still in her pocket. He sighed.

"I didn't."

She blinked, her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. "What?"

Huey sat up straighter, shrugging as he looked down at her.

"I didn't stop caring about you. Ever." He shook his head. "It doesn't exactly help the situation any by me saying that and I know, but you always mattered to me."

"Then I didn't matter _enough_."

"It had nothing to do with you." He sighed again, looking as if he'd rather be anywhere else but there. She shook her head, slowly climbing the steps and plopping down beside him. She placed her hands neatly in her lap.

"Well, it kind of did." She shrugged when he gave her a strange look. "I mean, no one told you to go off and be a hoebag."

"Thank you." His tone was filled with sarcasm. "That's _always_ appreciated."

"_But_-" she added, making a face. "We didn't exactly do a good job of outlining the terms that a break meant. And I wasn't the easiest person to get along with. And I mean I was on the paranoid side-"

"You were, actually."

"Shut up." She stuck out her tongue, resting her chin in her hand. "_My point _is that I'm really sick of feeling bad about the entire thing and I know you're tired of feeling bad about it, so we should just both stop feeling bad about it."

Huey examined her expression, as if trying to analyze her words. "So…that's it?"

"That's it."

Now he _really _looked suspicious. "…_Really_? That _can't_ be it."

"Yes, it can." She was nearly laughing at his expression. She _felt _like laughing. She felt like dancing, or singing aloud, or just jumping up and down. For the first time, she didn't feel like crying whenever she thought about it. She thought about the woman's words again and gave him a knowing look. "So you can stop feeling bad about it, too. I know you do."

He shrugged. "There'd be a problem if I didn't."

She smiled at him before resting her head on his shoulder, staring up at the snow all over again. He was still looking at her as if she'd sprouted a third head.

"Why _did _you do it, by the way?" When she glanced up at him with a puzzled expression he shrugged. "Taking me back. What made you do it? It's just seems…illogical."

Jazmine set her hand on top of his, threading her fingers with his own. "Because unlike you, I don't go with what I think." She paused, contemplative. "I got a lot of crap from a bunch of other people about how if you cheated once you'd cheat again and how I'd be stupid to give you another chance, and I thought a lot about it and what would be the right thing to do. And then I stopped thinking and I focused on how I felt. And even though you hurt me, I still loved you. And I knew that even though it would be hard to trust you again, I would be able to. I believed that you made a mistake and that you wouldn't do it again. And it just felt like if I _didn't _give you another chance, I'd regret it. So, I did." She smiled at him. "I'm pretty sure I made the right decision." She frowned. "So, _don't _do it again. Because I'll hear so many "I told you so's" that it'll be ridiculous."

Huey was staring at her in disbelief. She shrugged, untangling the ends of her hair.

"What?"

"Nothing." He shook his head. "Just forget it."

"_What_?"

"I said _nothing_." He looked embarrassed. "It would be all sappy and _sweet _and that's just…no."

"Aw, come _on_-"

"No."

"You don't ever say anything sweet and sappy!"

"Because I'm _not _sweet and sappy."

"That's not fair!"

"Life's not fair."

Jazmine sighed, then shrugged. Before he could react she was leaning over and kissing his cheek before rising to her feet, waving her hand towards him.

"Oh, well. I know you love me anyway." She started towards the doors. "Goodnight!"

Huey gaped at her retreating back. "Did you trade your coat for infinite _wisdom _or something?"

Jazmine paused at the door before smirking and offering him a shrug.

"Something like that." She held open the door, giving him a look. "Well, are you coming or what?"

"Uh…yeah." Huey got up as well, walking over to the door as well and falling in step with her as they started through the building. As she pushed the up button to the elevators she heard him sigh.

"Jazmine."

She glanced over her shoulder. "Hmm?"

He shook his head, giving her a look. "I'm sorry."

She smiled, stepping up to him and standing on her tiptoes so that she could kiss him. She heard the elevator ping behind them but ignored it, wrapping her arms around his neck. He pulled her closer, his hands resting on her waist.

"Aye!" someone from the elevator shouted. "_Aye_!" There was a pause. "Ya'll got some crack?"

Huey lifted his head, rolling his eyes. "Nigga, get _out _of here!" He shook his head as Earl grumbled under his breath, the elevator doors closing. "_Stupid._" He stared back down at her, his eyes softening.

"So, you mean it." He tugged on a strand of her hair. "The entire let's-just-stop-feeling-bad-about-it thing."

"_Yes_." She stomped her foot. "Stop asking me!"

"_Good_." He let out a sigh of relief. "Because I mean, Valentine's Day is a horrible, commercialized holiday that does nothing but exploit people's emotions as well as their dependence to materialistic-"

"_But_?" Jazmine asked, snapping her fingers and rolling her eyes. He rolled his own eyes, shooting her a dirty look.

"_But_," he replied. "I can think of at least twenty other things I'd rather do on Valentine's Day than ignore each other."

Jazmine's eyebrow lifted. "Such as…?"

He paused, contemplating. "Okay, never mind. I can only think of one. So…maybe we _should _have taken that elevator-_ow_!" Jazmine smacked his arm. "I'm just _saying_!"

Jazmine shook her head, laughing as he framed her face in his hands, kissing her again. The image of the new owner of her coat, Vega, flashed through her mind.

A coat for wisdom. It just might have been a pretty good trade off after all.

* * *

Yeah, total gagfest, right?

Thanks for reading! Feel free to, you know, review maybe? Get me to that big one zero zero by telling me how much I FAIL.  
...Or, you know, _don't _fail. That's a good one, too.

-Kelsey


	23. Human Nature

Alright, let me just start by saying I've had this one 85 percent done for like, days. The only reason it took me so long to finish so little was because...you know what? I don't even have a good excuse. Haha.

And secondly, let me just say...WOW. Anyone who's on the Boondocks section a lot knows that it's not as er, lively, as say the Inuyasha section (yeah Inuyasha!) or freakin TWILIGHT (BOO TWILIGHT...I mean...), so imagine my surprise when I went from 97 to 113 reviews in a period of like, days. Holy smokes. So, huge thank you to g, avatarneytiri, kagome313, child who is cool, jayjai107, DarkPhoenixSaga, iAnneart01, Jumelles0131, Daydreaming Nightwalker, Goku's Daughter, traban16, AngieT101, MizEALangel, insert psuedonym, and Shiori Yume for the reviews! See all the names I got to type just now? OMFG! :D :D :D Oh, and I shall not forget the very lovely message I got from one reviewer that made my day :) Because trust me, last week? So, so shitty.

Also, LOL at all the comments pertaining to "drugged up Huey". I almost died laughing.

And, since I saw quite a few of these, sorry to all those who possibly failed their finals reading all this. Haha. :P

Annnnnd...it is 3:52 am. Sooo I can't promise that my laser sharp (yeah, right) proofreading skills caught everything.

Anyways, I'm gonna stop typing so freakin much and just get on with it already...

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Human Nature

"I…don't…_wanna go_!"

"We _have _to!" Huey tugged on the end of Jazmine's coat, since she was clinging on to the still open car door for all she was worth. "We've put it off for too damn long!"

"I don't _wanna_!" Jazmine yelled back, her hat flying off and landing on the icy sidewalk. Neither one of them made a move to retrieve it. "I told my mommy she could be there when I went! And you said we were going to McDonalds, not the doctor's!"

"Why would you believe me when I said that _anyway_?" He rolled his eyes. "When have I _ever _offered to take you to any fast food place?"

"That…one time!" Jazmine continued clutching the car door, shaking her head. "I wanna go home!"

"Well, unfortunately that's not going to happen!" Huey groaned. Sometimes it was like he was pulling _teeth_. "Jazmine, be rational."

"No!" Her grip on the door handle didn't slacken in the slightest. "That's your thing!"

"Well you should _try _it sometime!" he shot back. Her eyes filled with tears.

"Stop yelling at me!"

"I'm _not_-" A passing couple both shot him dirty looks and he smacked his hand against his forehead. "Stop with the waterworks. I'm serious. You were supposed to have gone for an ultrasound _ages _ago-"

"But mom really wants to go!" Jazmine whined, giving him a look. "I promised!"

"I really don't think she's going to mind." He rolled his eyes. She sniffed.

"Why can't we wait until spring break?"

"Because by then you'll be into your third trimester." He sighed, still holding on to her coat. "This isn't about _you_. It's about who is hopefully a boy, because I really _cannot _handle another female-"

"Shut up!" She stuck her nose in the air, turning away. "Well, I don't wanna go yet! And for you to make a stupid appointment for me in the first place was _completely _uncalled for."

"Well when I tried to get _you _to do it a good _month _ago you kept brushing it off!" He glared at the back of her head. "It's not my fault instead of scheduling it on your own you chose to watch some damn _Lamb Chop. _We can't afford to wait around because you can't cut the umbilical cord from your mother for five minutes."

Her jaw dropped and her head whipped around, her eyes wide. He glared at her. Her own eyes narrowed.

"Just for that, I'm _still _not gonna go!"

He sighed, shaking his head and dropping the handful of coat he'd been holding, throwing up his hands and turning away. He picked up her hat and tugged it down over her head before letting his eyes float up to stare at the gray sky. "Fine. Whatever, Jazmine."

She let go of the door handle, taking a step towards him. "Really?"

"Pssh. Nope!" He quickly grabbed her wrist, starting down the walkway towards the building. She tried to pull her arm away, giving him an angry look.

"You're mean!"

"You say this like you haven't _known _me for the past decade."

"This isn't fair! This is against my rights!" When Huey continued to ignore her protesting she lifted her head to the sky, letting out a scream. "Rape! _Rape_! Security!"

"Jazmine!" He whipped around, clamping a hand over her mouth. "Have you lost your damn mind?" When she nodded quietly in response he snorted, dropping his hand away. "Obviously." He sighed again. "I really don't feel like having to carry you in there. Can we just do this the normal, easy, _mature _way?"

She blinked at him. He stared back.

And then she was spinning around, making a break for the car again. He caught up to her in less than three seconds, sweeping her off her feet and ignoring her kicking and screaming as he sped walked up to the office building. He finally pushed the door open with his foot, not bothering to put her back down until he was pushing open another door to his right. He froze, his eyebrows lifting.

"Uh…"

There was a group of people sitting in a circle in the center of the room and the lights dim. Some of them were sobbing. A few were just staring at the walls with melancholic expressions. The leader of the group, a woman with a short ponytail and way too much lip gloss, blinked at him. He cringed. She made a face.

"I'm…guessing you're not here for Alcoholics Anonymous."

"No." He made a face, tugging the door shut again. "My bad."

"Put me _down_!" Jazmine yelled, which he didn't do until they were finally in the right suite and in front of the check in counter. She glared at him while he merely shrugged in response.

"I warned you." Feeling the stares of the other waiting people behind them he whirled around, his eyes narrowed. "May I _help _you?"

"You can help _me _by taking me _home_," Jazmine mumbled, tugging on his sleeve. "I'm missing _the Bold and the Beautiful_!"

He shook his head at her as the receptionist who sat behind the check in desk beckoned to them, wearing an amused expression on her face. He stepped up to the counter, leaning against it and glancing at the woman as she smiled.

"Hello!" She shook her head in an I-don't-even-want-to-know way, sitting up straighter. "How are you doing this fine Tuesday morning?"

"Yeahhh…" Huey shook his head, grabbing Jazmine's arm and pulling her beside him. "She's got a twelve fifteen ultrasound."

"Can we just go to-"

"_Stop talking_," Huey snapped in a low voice. Jazmine clamped her mouth shut, looking like she wanted to cry. The receptionist observed them, a patient expression on her face. After a few more seconds of silence she turned around, ruffling through some files before pulling one out and opening it.

"Okay." She handed Jazmine a sheet of paper. "Fill this out for me and bring it back up, alright?"

Jazmine nodded, looking as if she'd much rather set the thing on fire. "Okay." As she flopped down in a chair near the door she shot Huey a dirty look.

"You _suck_."

"I could make a remark pertaining to that but I will not go there." He shook his head, grabbing a magazine and giving it a look of disgust. "Why is there a…_Sasquatch _on the cover of this thing?"

Jazmine glanced at it, blinking.

"Huey…that's Heidi Montag."

It was his turn to blink at her. "…Who?"

"You know, Heidi." When he continued to look confused she went on. "The girl who's with that horrible Spencer guy who's probably just using her for fame?"

Huey blinked again before shaking his head. "…_Who_?"

She rolled her eyes, figuring that she might as well speak in Huey language. "She's just a crazy white woman off a reality television show about more crazy white people, Huey."

"Oh. Okay." He tossed the magazine aside as she stared down at the form. "Why didn't you just _say _that?" He glanced at her when she frowned. "What?"

"Why does it say I can't pee until after the ultrasound's done?"

Huey shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe because you can't pee until after the ultrasound's done." When she glared at him he rolled his eyes. "Do you _have _to?"

She shifted a bit. "Well, I didn't have to…but when I read that I couldn't, I realized that I needed to."

"Well, you'll survive." He took the paper from her, ignoring her evil looks. "Let's see…family history, blah blah, unusual symptoms, blah blah…uh oh."

"What?"

"What's this?"

"What's _what_? Lemme see!" Jazmine snatched the page back, scanning it. After a few moments she slowly looked at him, making a face. "Why would that be an "uh-oh"? I don't have herpes!"

"Not _that_," Huey snapped, partly because he was annoyed and partly because she'd said that particular sentence loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear. He pointed to a section on the back. "_That_. It's asking if your family has a history of premature births."

"Oh!" Jazmine blinked. "Well…why is _that _an uh-oh?"

He gaped at her. "_Because_ your family _has _a history of premature births! Duh!"

"Nuh uh!"

He gave her a blank stare.

"Jazmine, when were you due?"

She shrugged. "October seventeenth."

"And when is your birthday?"

"September ninth."

"Alright." It was a damn shame he had to break it down _this _much. It was even more of a shame that he knew her family history as well as _she _did. "Now, when was your mother due?"

Jazmine's face scrunched up in concentration. "Um…April…twenty first?"

"Okayyyyy." He shrugged. "And she was born-"

"March fourteenth!" Jazmine answered proudly, as if she were on a game show. "Actually, it's funny because my grandma was due July first and she came May thirty first. And even daddy was due in February and he came in January after…ohhhh." She stared at him, enlightenment in her eyes. "I _get _it."

Huey had to resist the urge to face palm himself. "It was a long, hard journey, but you got there eventually."

"Shut up!" She stuck out her tongue, shrugging and glancing over the rest of the page. "So what? I'm sure a lot of people are born prematurely."

"Uh…" Huey rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging as well when she looked over to him. "Yeah…about that." He shook his head. "They're really not."

"Oh, yeah?" She gestured to him. "Well, when were _you _due?"

He rolled his eyes. "February fifth. You caught me. I came a whole two days _late_. It was just so much fun in there I never wanted to leave-"

"You're being mean."

"In other words, I'm being _myself_."

"_Anyway_," she went on, ignoring his last comment. "Do you happen to know when your parents were due?"

"January first and February twenty ninth."

"And when were _they _born?"

"…January first and February twenty ninth."

"Oh…" Jazmine made a face and then snapped her fingers. "And Mr. Freeman? Your grandmother?"

"March fourth and October eleventh. _And _they were born March fourth and October eleventh."

"…Oh." Jazmine stared forward for a few seconds, frowning slightly. Then, she whirled around.

"Well I bet your _other _grandparents-"

"September twenty third and August twenty sixth. And yes." Huey didn't even have to think about it. "They were on time."

"Well, what_ever_." She gave him a look. "How do you _remember _all that?"

"I pay attention?"

For a moment they fell silent. Then-

"Great-grandparents?"

"May twenty six and November fourth."

"Geez." She leaned back in her seat. "You don't think it's gonna be a problem, do you?"

"Maybe. Maybe not." He stared up at the TV, which happened to be on some commercial about Tupperware. "There's not any scientific evidence to point towards it being hereditary, although it's something care providers still like to know." He glanced back to Jazmine, who was gaping at him. "_What_?"

"How do you know more about this stuff than _I _do?"

"Because I _read_."

Jazmine gave him a look as the door opened, a doctor poking their head out.

"Ashley George?"

A good amount of people let out groans as a woman who looked like she was carrying a watermelon got up, nearly waddling through the door. The doctor closed it behind her. Jazmine sighed.

"One day, I'm gonna look like that."

"_Ha_. Oh." He pointed towards the TV when she gave him a glare. "I was…laughing at…that."

"Sure." She waved her hand towards him, ignoring him. "You laugh now. But when I resemble something out of that _Quarantine _movie-"

"Last time I checked you were having a baby, not turning into a pathogen harboring zombie person." Huey shook his head. "Stop being stupid."

"Stop being…yourself."

"Aren't you the queen of brilliant comebacks."

Before she could shoot back another "brilliant" comeback the door opened again, another woman sticking her head out.

"Jazmine Dubois?"

"Yay." Jazmine's voice was full of sarcasm as she rose to her feet, shuffling towards the door with Huey behind her to make sure she didn't make a break for it again. Once they went through the door the woman gave Jazmine a sunny smile.

"And how are you doing today, sweetheart?"

"Great." Jazmine shot Huey a glare while she said this, receiving one in return. "Just, you know. Not wanting to _be _here."

"Not wanting to be here?" The lab technician pushed open the door to an empty examination room, her voice light. "And why not? Most people are excited for their first ultrasound."

"Well," Jazmine said in a slightly sad voice. "My mom was supposed to come with me, but she lives in another state. And _this one_-" She snapped her fingers towards Huey, whose eyebrows rose. "Just insisted I go _now. _Which, no offense, _sucks_."

"Someone needs a nap…"

"You're not funny, Huey."

The lab technician offered Jazmine another smile, gesturing for her to sit on the examination table. She did so with reluctance, glancing around the dimly lit four walls.

"Well, what you can do is get copies of the photos and send them to your mother." The woman shrugged. "Do you think she'd like that?"

Jazmine shrugged, shifting a bit. "Maybe…" She shook her head. "I just didn't want to come alone."

"Oh, of course." Huey rolled his eyes, his voice filled with sarcasm. "How _dare _Huey let Jazmine come by herself? Oh, wait. _He's standing right here_-"

"You know what I mean!" Jazmine said, obediently lying down when the lab technician gestured for her to do so. "She's my _mom_, Huey!"

"She's not going to _care_, Jazmine!"

"And how do you know?"

"Because I know! Because if she has _sense, _which she admittedly usually does, she'd know that if it's best for you to go now as opposed to waiting until you get back to Maryland-"

"Oh, I bet you just _enjoy _telling yourself that, don't you?" Jazmine rolled her eyes, staring at the ceiling as the technician lifted her shirt, placing a folded towel underneath her swollen belly and squirting out a clear gel. ""Ooh, Jazmine's mom isn't gonna care so I'll just go ahead and-""

"Be _responsible_?"

"That's what you –whoa, that stuff's cold- that's what you always call it!" Jazmine snorted, still staring at the ceiling. "Be _responsible_. My name's Huey and I'm always _responsible _instead of considering people's _feelings_!"

"And my name's Jazmine and I'm always going on and on about _nothing _for no damn reason!" Huey shot back, rolling his eyes. The lab technician was either ignoring them or just not caring since she continued to spread the gel along Jazmine's stomach, her mouth twitching as she kept form laughing. She was obviously used to bickering couples. Jazmine made a face.

"I don't sound like that!"

"What, whiny?" Huey snorted, crossing his arms over his chest. "Yeah. You do."

"Well, at least I'm not a big…doo doo face!"

"Ooh." Huey clapped his hands together in mocking applause. "Doo doo face. _That's _a hurtful one."

"You know what-"

"Because I didn't hear _that _one when I was four-"

"You know what? Don't talk to me."

"Fine!"

"Okay, then!"

"Whatever. This is _stupid_."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"Do you two want to know the gender today?"

"Huh?" Both Huey and Jazmine both focused on the lab technician, who was sitting back with her glove covered hands holding a transducer, her expression perfectly calm. She shrugged when they stared at her.

"Do you want to know if your child's a boy or a girl?" She spoke slowly, as if directing her words to toddlers. Huey rolled his eyes. Jazmine glanced at him.

"No."

His eyebrow rose.

"_No_?" When she nodded he snorted. "Why _not_?"

"Because it should be a surprise!"

"Oh my…Jazmine, don't you think the fact that we're _having _a baby is enough of a surprise?" He sighed. "I really _don't _need any more surprises."

"Well, fine." Jazmine folded her arms over her chest. "Since you're _soooo good_ at deciding things for me, go ahead. Let's just go with-"

"Okay, what is your _problem_, Jazmine?" He glared at her. "Because this is getting really old."

"I just can't believe you dragged me here after I _specifically_-"

"And _here _we go-"

"Excuse me?" The lab technician spoke up, waving the medical instrument. "It's a yes or no question."

"No-"

"Yes."

The couple glared at each other.

"_No_."

"_Yes_."

"No!"

"Oh, forget it." Huey rolled his eyes. "Fine. Don't tell us. Whatever."

Jazmine glared back up at the ceiling. "_Thank you_."

"Okay, then." The technician glanced towards Huey. "You want to move closer over here so you can see?"

"Depends." He shot a look towards Jazmine. "If I stand too close to you will you rip my head off?"

She rolled her eyes, her tone sarcastic. "Just don't breathe too much."

"Whatever." He shook his head, standing beside her and glancing at the black monitor not too far from them. The lab technician fooled around with her equipment. "Anything to stop you from acting so insane."

"_I'm _the one being insane?" The lab technician once again seemed to be tuning them out. "You made an appointment for me without even _asking _me!"

"I made it because you were specifically supposed to do it a month ago and you never did!"

"Maybe I had a reason!" she shot back, glaring up at him. He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, we're all aware of you and your annoying attachment to your _mother_-"

"Shows how much _you _know!" she snapped, cutting him off and glaring at the ceiling. "Way to assume you know everything, Huey."

This girl could be so _infuriating_. Geez, he was just trying to do the right thing! When did that turn into such a _crime_?

"Then _what_?" he asked, not being able to keep impatience from seeping into his voice. "You're mad because I dragged you away from your precious TV? You're mad because I supposedly didn't listen to you?" She shook herself, looking like she wanted to cry. "Then _what_? Because I don't feel like playing some guessing game."

There was a pause. Jazmine took a deep breath, shrugging.

"Scared."

Huey paused. His eyebrows lifted.

"…What?"

"Scared," she repeated softly, still staring at the ceiling. When he continued staring at her in complete confusion she finally glanced at him.

"What if something's wrong?" she asked softly, her eyes already filling. "Like, what if it's missing an arm? Or a brain? Or a _head_? What if I have a _headless baby_?"

He would have told her she was being completely ridiculous, if it weren't for the fact that she was really freaking out. He sighed.

"It's not missing a head, Jazmine." He crouched down so that he was eye level with her, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. "It's not missing anything."

"You don't know that!"

"Well, that's why we're here, right?" When she looked reluctant he shrugged. "Personally, I'd want to know if I had a headless baby before I was pushing it out. Now _that _would be pretty bad." He watched her manage a tiny shrug. "So, don't worry about it."

She sniffed, her voice tiny. "Can you hold my hand?"

"…Really?"

"_Hold my hand, Huey_." Jazmine's voice suddenly dropped a good three octaves, making him shrink back. He offered her his hand, shaking his head as she grasped it with her own and glanced towards the lab technician, who had actually been waiting patiently for them to finish talking.

"Okay." Jazmine squeezed her eyes shut. "We're ready."

Huey blinked at her. "You're not even looking!"

"_You _look first."

He snorted, glancing towards the technician, who offered him a shrug. "Fine."

"Okay, then!" the annoyingly cheerful technician glanced towards Jazmine, whose eyes were still squeezed shut. "Do you feel like you need to use the restroom?"

"_Yes_."

"Well, good! We're ready to go, then!" She clapped her hands, making Huey give her a look. _Seriously_? He shook his head, glancing at the screen as the technician placed the transducer on Jazmine's stomach, moving it around. She looked towards the screen as well. Jazmine, who _still _wasn't looking, made a face.

"Do you see anything yet?"

"You know, you wouldn't have to ask me if you'd just open your _eyes _and look for-" he stopped mid-sentence, his eyes falling on the screen as the random movement stopped, the seemingly squiggly lines and blobs all coming together to make a…

Well…okay, it was still pretty blob-ish. But upon closer inspection, the blob seemed to have two tiny arms. And…two tiny legs.

And a tiny, baby blob head.

Holy _shit_. It was a _real. Baby. _He shook his head, snapping back to reality when there was a sudden pressure on his hand.

"What does it look like?"

He glanced back at the screen, the technician's eyes narrowed in concentration as she focused on the image. There was no mistaking that it was a baby. It was logical. It was common sense. Just by looking at it you could tell that, just like every other ultrasound, it was a curled up, living, breathing baby.

Only, unlike all the _other _ultrasounds he'd seen in his lifetime, the images all looking the same and earning nothing more than a shrug, this one was nearly impossible _not _to look at. This one wasn't like the other ones. This one was-

"Huey." Jazmine sounded like she was trying not to panic. "What does it look like?"

He never took his eyes off the screen. "It looks like…" he stopped, shaking his head. "You should just look. I can't explain it."

"But-"

"I'm serious." Whatever annoyed feelings and hostility he'd had towards her were long gone. He squeezed her hand, taking a deep breath. "Look."

Slowly, Jazmine cracked an eye open, turning her head towards the screen. Then, the other eye opened. Both irises widened as they stared at the screen, and then her head was whipping towards the technician.

"Oh, my god." She stared back at the screen, her mouth hanging open. "It…is has a head."

Huey rolled his eyes. "Yes. It does."

"And…and arms! And legs!" Jazmine's eyes were filling with tears again. "Oh, my god. It's a _baby_."

The technician nodded, smiling. "It is."

"It's a real baby!"

If Huey would have been in the typical sarcastic mood he would have replied with "As opposed to fake"? but instead he could only stare to the screen again, transfixed.

Human life worked in a funny way. There were over six billion people on the planet, and every single one of them had started just like this. To the grand scheme of things, to natural selection and genetics and the scientific aspect of this, it was just another cycle. It was simply another baby, another future inhabitant of the planet. In the light of everything as a whole, it was nothing.

But to him?

He glanced towards Jazmine, who was crying her eyes out, obviously feeling overwhelmed by the entire thing. She wiped her eyes with her free hand, her eyes also locked on the screen of her, no, _their _baby, who, with their ten toes and ten fingers and head and limbs and…_everything_, was indescribably, undeniably-

"I'm sorry." Jazmine sniffed, shaking her head as she tried to stop crying. "It's just…" she pointed to the screen. The technician was nodding with understanding in her eyes. "This is just unreal. I mean-" she glanced towards Huey, her eyelashes glued into tiny triangles. "Have you seen anything more beautiful?"

He looked back at the screen, then glanced back at her. It didn't take much thought.

"No." He lifted his eyes again as the three of them watched the screen, their eyes all filled with wonder. "I haven't."

* * *

This sappy mess is gonna be the death of me... Emotion + Kelsey = Big no-no. Goodness. :P

Anyways, thank you so much for reading! And please, review!  
(And automatic cool points to anyone who saw sunday's episode of the Boondocks, because the mess was straight hilarious)

-Kelsey


	24. Ms Independent

If I were to do any more sappiness I would die from the sweetness. Gag me with a spoon, please. Therefore, this one is anything _but _sappy. Anyway, thank you to g, Goku's Daughter, Shiori Yume (who will be getting those "cool points" in the mail for watching the new Boondocks eppie :P), insert psuedonym, jayjai107, MissG2020, xXMissJanuary1996Xx, child who is cool, traban16, DarkPhoenixSaga (and thanks for the video link! I gotta watch it when it's not 4 am and I'm not about to pass out. haha), and EclipseIllusion for the reviews! And, once again, being able to type all those names is so kick ass.

So, you know when you have the chapters where you don't know how well others like it, but you had a lot of fun writing it so it's whatever? This is one of those. And, once again, insomniac me is updating at 3:55 am (what is my PROBLEM?) so, the proofreading? Uh...yeah. Feel free to point out the flaws. I'm an English major. I need it. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Ms. Independent

Jazmine, Huey was beginning to notice, had a lot in common with toddlers.

…Wait, that sounded really, really bad.

…Well, there was no other way to describe it. So oh, well.

Jazmine, like toddlers, had her developmental phases. It was probably due to the pregnancy and her raging hormones, but the phases were there nonetheless. She had her temper tantrum phase. She had her crying jag phase.

And, most recently, she was having her do-it-myself phase. Just like a four year old, she had gotten to the point in her pregnancy where if someone tried to help her do something it was automatically seen as thinking she were too weak to do it herself. It would be somewhat amusing if it weren't so damn annoying.

"I can do it myself!" she'd yell when she was carrying some heavy pot to the kitchen table, ignoring Huey's attempts to take it from her.

"I can do it myself! Go away!" she'd shout when changing the air vent in the ceiling, standing on a particularly wobbly ladder that Huey would much rather risk falling off of than for her to.

"I can do it myself! I don't need your help!" she'd snap when carrying in all the groceries, giving him a sharp glare as if he were _wrong _for trying to keep her from straining herself! Goodness, how _dare _he try to look out for her best interest? It was annoying in two ways: one, because she wouldn't let him help her with _anything_ even when she obviously needed it, and two, if he were to obey her wishes and stop offering to help, it would be the one time she'd wind up hurting herself and he'd go feeling all bad and whatnot. And with him already working two jobs, going to school and keeping secrets from her, he did _not _have any room for guilt. It was a damn shame. Emotionless Huey Freeman was probably feeling enough stupid _feelings _for the entire population of Chicago.

The things women could do to you.

So, when he could hear Jazmine singing loudly through their bedroom door that dreary afternoon he sighed, shaking his head and developing that inkling that she was about to come harass him. Sure enough…

_"I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T _DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?" she sang joyfully, skipping into the room. There was a pause as he glanced at her, his eyebrows lifted.

"Um…that you can _spell_?"

"_No-ooo_." Jazmine drew the word out so that it had two syllables, sticking her tongue out at Huey, who was studying on the couch. She paused, making a face. "Well, yes. But you're still wrong." She held up an envelope, grinning. "Guess who gotta _raise_?"

His eyes shot up at that one. Now, that _was _something to get excited about. "Well, since you're pretty enthusiastic I'm guessing it wasn't someone else you work with-"

"Nope! Me!" She squealed, punching a fist in the air and proceeding to dance in the middle of the room. He sighed, shaking his head.

"Please don't start the celebratory booty dance-"

"Too late!"

"Oh, come _on_-"

"Nope!"

"As delighted as I am for you, please stop." He shook his head. "I really don't want you to break anything."

Better yet, _herself_. Not only was he deeply affected by her waterworks, but he had now developed an annoying, nerve wracking habit of being paranoid about her injuring herself from doing the most mundane of tasks. It was pathetic.

"Um, excuse me for being happy." She snorted. "_You're _not the poor one."

He gaped at her. "Last time I checked we were _both _poor."

"Yeah, but I'm _more _poor!" She thrust a thumb in her chest and stuck her nose in the air. "You make more!"

"Uh huh!" he agreed, nodding. "And when I was all "We should split things in proportion to individual income _who _wanted to do an even split on everything despite me pointing this fact out repeatedly, thus making you poorer than you would have to be in the first place?"

She sighed, rolling her eyes. "_I _did."

"Thank you."

"Point is, I'm making more money now. So ha ha ha ha _ha_."

"Okay. Congratulations." He shrugged, returning to his work. "Better make sure they don't try to mommy track you."

She paused, making a face. "What?"

"Mommy tracking." When she continued to stand there with a confused expression on her face he glanced up, his eyebrows drawing together. "Please don't tell me you don't know what mommy tracking is."

"Not…really, no."

"Alright." He closed his book. "Mommy tracking is when the higher ups of businesses give minimal or significantly less hours to an expecting or postpartum mother due to their either misinformed or deluded beliefs that she'll either want or need more time off to be with her newborn or coming child. Since there is a ridiculous amount of prejudice towards pregnant women, especially pregnant teenagers or unmarried women, there were laws put in place to keep one from being terminated from their jobs for that reason. Only instead, people got the idea to mommy track, which in most case scenarios makes it more difficult for said mother to get the same hours as other employees, which is already a disadvantage being that women still tend to make less than men and only serves to make the glass ceiling more difficult to break."

Jazmine frowned. "My job doesn't have a glass ceiling. Actually, I think it's made of some sort of-"

He shook his head, rolling his eyes. "I'll try this again in Jazmine language…" He placed his hands together, looking at her. "They're going to try and cut your hours because you're popping one out."

She blinked. Then, her jaw dropped.

"_Nooooo_."

"Yes." He picked up his book. "So if less hours is what you want then by all means go for it. But if not-"

"Nope! I want as many as possible." She nodded earnestly. "Because I ain't gonna depend on no man to provide for me. Nope. I'm _independent_."

He glanced up at her, giving her a glance over. Then, he snorted.

"Okay." He was looking as if he were trying not to laugh. "If you say so-"

"What?" Jazmine gaped at him. "I'm totally independent!"

"I went over one aisle in a Target and you about had a panic attack."

Jazmine waved her hand. "That was a long time ago."

"We were _nineteen-_"

"Can't hear you! La la la!" Jazmine put her fingers in her ears, singing loudly. He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah. Really mature."

"Hey, I said I was independent." She dropped her hands. "I never said I was mature."

"Uh huh."

She glared at him. "Are you implying that I'm _not _independent?"

Huey looked up. "No…" When she tapped her foot he rolled his eyes again. "I'm not saying you're _not_. You obviously are. But you do have your…_moments_, when your self-sufficiency is questionable."

"Like _when_?"

"Like when you're so indecisive on whether you should eat pretzels or Doritos for a snack you call me during my philosophy class to ask my opinion."

"…That was only one time…"

"And there was that time you woke me up at two in the morning to give you a good comeback to tell Cindy on the phone in response to her calling you a-"

"Okay, that was totally-"

"And may I once again remind you of your inability to remember your own asthma?"

"You know what? I didn't ask you all that."

"…Yeah, you just did, actually."

"Zip it! Hmph." Jazmine folded her arms over her chest. "I am _too _independent. I can do everything myself!"

"Oh, not that again…"

"Yes, that again!" She threw up her hands. He could already tell that he was about to be on the receiving end of one of her hormone induced shouting episodes. "I can't believe you! You don't think I can do _anything_!"

"What? Of course I do!" He rolled his eyes. "There's a difference between people thinking you're incapable of doing things and people _wanting _to help you do things."

"Well, you think I'm incapable of doing things on my own!" she snapped back. "You'll barely let me do the laundry!"

"Ooh, I'm trying to make things easier on my pregnant girlfriend." Huey snorted. "Bad Huey. Man, how can you stand that guy? He's such a bastard."

"You're making fun of me!"

"I am not." He made his face, as well as his voice, deadpan serious. "I completely see your point. I should just be a regular man and make you remember your place. Me cook dinner? Hell no. _You _make me a sandwich. I refuse to make my own damn food."

They stared at each other for a few seconds. Then, Jazmine stomped her foot.

"You're making fun of me again!"

"Of course I am." Huey snorted. "You're being ridiculous. I understand you don't want to seem useless, but there's nothing wrong with, you know…sitting down? Taking a break?"

"Oh, so the _man _can advance in life while I just sit my life away?" she asked, making him give her a funny look. "I refuse to let the white man hold me down!"

"…Jazmine, as much as I use those words, it definitely does not work in this scenario."

"Well…I don't know, I just hate it when you say smart things that I have no comeback!" She groaned, stomping out the living room. Huey stared after her, shaking his head and going back to his homework.

"Okayyyy…"

"I'm going to the mall to _be independent_!" he heard Jazmine shout from the front door. He waved his hand, engrossed in his textbook. She didn't want him to care? She wanted to be I-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t? Then fine. What_ever_. He was not in the mood to try and argue for doing the right thing.

"Whatever!" After the door slammed he shook his head, beginning to read again. Honestly, he was glad she was no longer throwing up at every opportunity or feeling miserable, but he would be a little glad the day came where her energy would die down some.

Well, at least Jazmine's urge to be independent would give him some _quiet _time.

And quiet time he did get. In fact, for three wonderful hours he got to study to his heart's content, the occasional siren or honk from outside being the only thing to break the otherwise tranquil silence.

And then, the fourth hour came. And as much as he respected her independence…well, four hours was a long time for her to be at the mall. Jazmine, in that aspect, was not like other women. She got excited about the prospect of shopping for a good half an hour and then she was ready to get a pretzel. Clearance sales held her over a little longer but even an hour into it and she was nearly begging for food. Shoe sales…well, they were another story.

Still, he didn't want to look like a _complete _jerk and just not check on her. After all, she only went to the mall a good twelve minutes away, not in _Bangladesh_. So, he reached for his cell phone to call her. Only, before he could pick it up, it started ringing.

Well, that was easy. He grabbed it, flipping it open without bothering to look at the screen. "Hello?" He sat back, continuing to read his book. There was a brief pause.

"_This is a collect call from the Cook County jail. The call may be monitored for security purposes. To accept these charges please press one."_

Damn Riley. Huey rolled his eyes. Just when he thought he was getting his act together he had to go and fuck up. He pressed the one button, shaking his head and waiting for the call to go through so he could lay out his younger brother. No _way _was he going to go bail him out again. After a few seconds, the line connected and there was a tiny pause.

"H-hello?"

Huey bolted up, his jaw dropping. "_Jazmine_?"

"Uh, heyyy Huey." Jazmine sounded as if she was trying to keep her voice even. "What's up?"

"You're in _jail_?" He glared at the phone. "What the _fuck _did you do?"

"Well." Jazmine's voice was small. "She started it."

"Oh, my god." He shook his head. "Did you _fight _someone?"

"No! Geez, I'm not stupid."

"Well, you're _something_ since you've been _arrested_!" He couldn't believe this. Of _all _people to be incarcerated and calling him to get bailed out, the last person he'd expect it to be was Jazmine. The most trouble she'd gotten in with the law was speeding tickets. Her _parents _were lawyers. Her own father's phobia of prison rape had been bad enough to make her think twice about breaking the law (not that she ever planned on it)! And now she was in jail? "Jazmine, what did you do?"

"It's a long story-"

"Well, get the talking because these phone calls only last ten minutes."

Jazmine sighed into his ear, as if _he _was the one who would need to be picked up from a correctional facility. "Can I just tell you _after _you come bail me out?"

"And who says I'm coming to bail you out?" When his response was met by a shocked silence he shook his head. "I mean, why should I? Can't you handle it yourself, Ms. Independent?"

"You're _not _funny, Huey Freeman!"

"Don't say my name aloud in there! Too many people could still remember me."

There was a pause. "…Wait, when were _you _in here?"

"Uh…" Time to change the subject. "Just tell me what you _did_, Dubois."

There was an exasperated sigh. "_Fine_." Jazmine's tone was hostile. "I _may _have whacked a woman with a Jimmy Choo, okay?"

He blinked at the phone.

"…Repeatedly."

Huey paused, still trying to get over the initial shock of the situation. "Let me get this straight." His eyes narrowed. "You are sitting in holding because, wait, have you been booked yet?"

"Yes." Jazmine sounded as if she were on the verge of tears. "But it took them awhile cause they were laughing so hard."

"Okay, so you're in holding…because you beat a woman upside the head with a _shoe_?"

"It wasn't just in the head!" Jazmine shot back. "There were…other areas I hit…"

"Jazmine! Are you _kidding _me?"

"Well, she _shoved _me, okay?" Jazmine sounded mad again. "There-was-this-big-clearance-sale-and-it-was-the-last-pair-of-size-eleven-Jimmy-Choos-and-they-were-sixty-percent-off-and-I-wanted-them-and-I-was-going-for-them-and-picked-one-up-and-she-comes-out-of-nowhere-and-tries-to-tug-it-from-me-and-I-was-like-you-bitch-and-she-told-me-to-give-her-the-shoe-but-I-wouldn't-so-she-tried-to-shove-me-and-I-wouldn't-let-go-so-then-I-pulled-really-hard-and-threw-off-her-balance-and-got-the-shoe-from-her-and-whacked-her-with-it-and-she-started-trying-to-strangle-me-with-her-purse-strap-so-I-smacked-her-around-with-the-shoe-and-it-was-in-self-defense-and-it's-not-even-fair-that-I-gotta-be-in-here-cause-she-started-it!"

Huey sighed. "…I didn't catch a word you said."

"_Huey_!" Jazmine whined. "Get me _out _of here!"

"What are they charging you with?"

"Huh?"

"The charges." He could choke this woman. He really could. "What are they?"

"Uh…disturbing the peace…simple assault…disorderly conduct-"

"_Goddamn it_, Jazmine!"

"What?"

"Oh, for the love of…fine." He got up, groaning and grabbing his keys. "I'm on my way. I guess."

"Yay!"

"Oh, save it." He opened the closet door, digging for his coat. "Because you're getting charged with misdemeanors, which means they're going to fine the shit out of you and you're bail _could_ be ridiculous expensive. And when I say ridiculous expensive, I mean for _me_."

"…Oh."

"Yeah. _Oh_." He closed the door again, shaking his head. "Do you _happen _to know the amount?"

There was another pause. "I don't know. All the one guy said was O.R."

"O.R.?" Wow. Leave it to Jazmine to be able to obtain a simple "on their own recognizance". At least this saved his wallet some damage. "How'd you manage to do that?"

"I don't even know what it _means_!"

His poor, lost, insane girlfriend.

"It means all you have to do is sign a form promising you'll show up for your court date since for some reason they believe you'll do it without having to pay bail. Do you know if the other woman's going to press charges?"

"I-I don't know!" Jazmine sounded completely confused now. "She got arrested, too!"

"Good." He sighed. "If she does, in order to attempt to save your ass, you're gonna countersue and claim self defense. Okay?"

Jazmine sighed. "Okay."

"You know you fucked up, right?"

"_Yes, Huey_."

"Don't _"yes, Huey" _me-"

"Oh, my god, can you just _come get me already_?"

Testy son of a… "Alright, I said I was! Damn!" He slammed the phone shut, stomping towards the front door. "This is _bullshit_!"

And bullshit it was. February must have been a busy month for criminals since it took him a good amount of time to get someone on the damn phone from the damn jail who could verify that she did indeed get an O.R. Then, there was the point of _getting _there, which, since it had snowed a good ten inches the night before and people were once again acting like (the typical reaction from most of the county's residents) they'd never seen snow before , took longer than anticipated. And then, there was finally getting into the damn place, which was only so hard cause everyone seemed to have a pissy attitude, which only served to make his already pissy attitude even more pissy.

Great. Good day.

So, by the time the door to the holding cells opened and Jazmine came walking out, the already unhappy Huey was even _more _unhappy. In fact, his unhappiness was so evident when Jazmine spotted him that she visibly cringed, glancing towards the officer who had accompanied her.

"On second thought…" She jabbed her thumb behind her. "Maybe I should _stay_-"

"Bring your ass here, Jazmine." Huey rolled his eyes, shaking his head and already heading for the exit, leaving her to tag along after him. Once they hit outside, he stopped to allow her to catch up to him…only to give her possibly the worst glare that she'd ever received in her twenty years of life. Jazmine shrank back, frowning.

"I'm sorry!" she said loudly as he sighed, once again heading to the car. She caught up to him, her breath leaving wisps of fog in the air as she spoke. "But it was Jimmy Choo! _Jimmy Choo_! Do you know how _hard _it is to find cute shoes that fit my stupid elephant feet?"

Yes. A pair of shoes _really _constituted getting _arrested_. He merely unlocked the car doors, not even saying anything as they both flopped in, slamming their doors shuts. Jazmine stared at him with a worried expression as he glared through the windshield.

"Um…hey, Huey?" she poked his arm. "Are you mad?"

His eyes narrowed. He gave her a look.

"Did you just ask me if I were _mad_?" When she nodded slowly he sighed, massaging his temples and closing his eyes. "Okay. Put it this way." He opened his eyes again. "You remember that time you punched that girl who tried to cop a feel on me when we were at that Outkast concert back when we were seventeen?" When she nodded he rolled his eyes. "Multiply that by ten. And _then_, multiply _that _by ten more. And you will know how angry I am."

"So…less angry than when Riley got arrested for possession of an illegal substance, but more angry than when I was in that flash mob that Rickrolled-"

"_Yes, _Jazmine. _I. Am. Pissed._" He started the car, shaking his head. "Does that answer your question?"

"But she shoved me!" Jazmine glared. "What was I suppose to do?"

"_Give her the goddamn shoe_!" he yelled so loudly that she jumped. "You got arrested over a shoe! I had to drive over here to bail you out of jail over a _fucking shoe_!"

"Well, excuse me!" she shouted back. "Why didn't you just leave me here to fend for myself?"

"Thought about it!" he snapped, gesturing to her. "But you're kind of serving as a temporary home to _that one _so it wasn't really an option!" He rolled his eyes again. "Congratulations. Your independence is _so _admirable."

Jazmine stared at him, her eyes narrowing. And then, she burst into tears. He groaned, starting down the street.

"Could you _not _start that?"

"I-I said I was s-_sorry_-"

"I'm not falling for it, Jazmine."

"I didn't m-mean-"

"Let it _go_, Jazmine."

"I'm-so-sad-and-no-one-loves-me-and-I'm-gonna-die-all-alooooooone!"

"…I don't even know what you just _said_, Jazmine."

Jazmine sniffed, wiping her eyes and folding her arms over her chest. "Well," she said in a tiny voice. "At least I came away with _something_."

He eyed her warily. "…What, a fear of the judicial system? Newfound common sense? A new _pen pal_?"

"_No_." Jazmine sniffed again, reaching into her purse and with a grand flourish…

…presenting him with a red pair of Jimmy Choos.

"_See_?" She mistook the shocked expression on Huey's face for excitement and beamed. "I know, right? _Cute_?"

Huey stared. She kept the smile plastered on her face, hope in her eyes. He gave her a blank stare before gently taking the shoes from her, rolling down his window, and proceeding to chuck them through the opening. Jazmine's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.

"My shoes!"

"Well." Huey sighed, shrugging. "You know, I _do _feel a little better now."

"I hate you!"

His response was cut off as there was the sudden sound of sirens; he groaned, banging his fist on the steering wheel.

"_Shit_!" He pulled over to the curb, shooting Jazmine a dirty look as the bright blue sirens of a police car flashed in his rearview mirror. She cringed, shrugging in response.

"Do _not_," he said in a low voice as the officer got out his car. "Say a _word_."

She nodded obediently, frowning and staring down at her feet. Huey sighed again, rolling down his window as the officer came up…holding a pair of bright red Jimmy Choos. Huey blinked.

"Would you, sir," the officer asked, glaring down at him. "Like to explain why a pair of red heels just cracked my windshield?"

Huey closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. He slowly turned his head towards Jazmine, who shrugged. She couldn't help but smirk.

"Ms. Independent," she mumbled, biting her lip to keep from laughing. "Has nothing to say." When his glare intensified she straightened. "One day…we're gonna look back and laugh at this?"

"One day," Huey mumbled under his breath. "I'll stop being so surprised by the fact that my girlfriend is _not _normal."

"One day," the officer said aloud, rolling his eyes. "I _might _get my windshield fixed!"

Huey slapped his hand over his face.

Nope. Today…was not a good day.

* * *

Hmm. I can't think of anything witty to say, so I'll settle for the thanks for reading! And, well...you know the rest...

...You don't? Well you SHOULD!

You know you wanna review. You know you wanna. ;)

-Kelsey


	25. A Not So Brilliant Idea

Helloooo there! Yes, I know it's been a moment. I said it in another story but I know you all don't read EVERYTHING I write so I'll say it again: I got a job. And then...I got a second job. lol. The second job didn't work out though (And I'm not sorry about it) so I will have more time, but I won't be able to update every single day like I've done in the past. Don't worry though, I'm not gonna let this go by the wayside :P

So, thank you to Jumelles0131, g, traban16, MissG2020, Shiori Yume, child who is cool, jayjai107, Goku's Daughter, MizzC, DarkPhoenixSaga, Alazensupernuke, CattySweet, lesnuitsdhiver, and Brendan Aurabolt for the reviews! I'm pretty sure that's everyone...yeah! haha.

So, this chapter was supposed to go 100 percent differently, but the way I was writing it...it just wasn't clicking. So just know that this chapter was completely unplanned, un-thought out, and un...needed? Not the right word...just know that I never planned on this existing. Oh, well. LOL

And another random fact? For some reason my laptop just wasn't getting internet anywhere I tried to submit this...except for this bathroom. So I am currently sitting on the bathroom floor just to update this. The things I do for love... :P

_"Wow they redesigned the site, what do you think of it Sapphire?"_

I'm pretty sure you realized it already but if you go to the bottom of the page it'll have a "regular site" link you can click on to go back to the original layout. I think the new one is for mobile access or something...but like I said I'm late and you probably already knew. haha.

_"The longer the better, yes?"_

Oh, definitely. Just so ya'll know, this story will be no shorter than 40 chapters. No longer than 50. So...put THAT in your pipe and smoke it!

This author's note is too long. I type too much. I'm going to stop now.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

A Not So Brilliant Idea

There was something wonderful about the week before Spring Break that had even _Huey _in a good mood. Just knowing that a temporary reprieve of freedom was within reach did miracles for the tired and the weary. It renewed the spirit. It rejuvenated the soul…

"…WAAAHHHHHHH!"

…At least it was _supposed _to.

Huey sighed, shaking his head and opening his eyes. Why Jazmine decided to have her little tantrums during his morning meditations he'd never understand. It was the one time, the _only time _he had during the day to get in some serious calming breaths and sun salutations, and he could never do it because she was so busy freaking out over what was usually nothing that he had to go care.

He _hated _caring. It was a lot of work.

"_What_?" he yelled, resting his hands on his knees and leaning past the coffee table to stare towards the cracked bedroom door. There was a long pause that made him frown, since Jazmine was nothing if not wordy. And then, there was a loud sob.

"I'M FAILING MATH!"

He blinked. For the first time since he'd known her she was freaking out over something that was actually important.

Alright…the second.

He had to process the given information just to get over the shock of it before clearing his throat.

"…What?"

Ooh. _That _was a productive comment. He heard a lot of rustling, followed by Jazmine stomping out their room, shaking a sheet of paper in her hand.

"I just c-checked my grades online!" she managed through an abundance of hiccupping and sniffles. She wiped at her puffy, wet eyes with her sleeve as he rose to his feet. "And I'm f-_failing _Combinatorial N-Number Theory! A-A-And-" She broke off, dropping the page and burying her face in her hands as she began to sob worse than when he had beaten her out for high school Valedictorian. Huey groaned, shaking his head.

"You still have time to-"

"IT'S ONLY G-GONNA GET W-W-_WORSE_!" she wailed shrilly, making him cover his ears. "If I c-can't get this I w-won't get the o-o-other stuff and…I'm _good _a-at math!" Her face crumpled into an expression heartbreaking enough to make the devil himself feel bad and she started crying all over again.

"Okay, you're gonna need to calm down," Huey warned. "Otherwise you're…oh. Nevermind, you started already." He walked past the woman who was now gasping for air while _still _managing to sob like there was no tomorrow. Grabbing Jazmine's inhaler out the bathroom he calmly walked back into the living room, wordlessly handed her the inhaler, and watched as she puffed on while flopping onto the couch. He eyed her.

"Better?"

She hiccupped, shrugging. "No." Her voice was hoarse. He shrugged as well, flopping down beside her.

"Could've been worse. Could've been a-"

"You think _everything _could be a status asthmaticus." Jazmine sniffed, rolling her eyes. "Paranoid."

Paranoid his _ass_. When they'd been in tenth grade she'd had a severe asthma attack during their P.E. class (never mind that he'd warned the teacher that if she made her do the presidential fitness test it would probably happen). It had taken a good few minutes to get her inhaler due to the stupid moron who'd volunteered to get it stopping to buy a bag of _Fritos _out the vending machine on the way to the nurse's office. And by the time she did get it, clutching it like it was buried treasure, it hadn't worked and she'd wound up passing out.

Which hadn't freaked out _too _many people…except for the part where it _did_.

So after Jazmine had to go through an ambulance trip, narrowly missed lung failure, and a clusterfuck of enough drugs to give Lindsay Lohan an overdose, Huey decided that all those times Jazmine had said she couldn't practice forms with him on the hill because her asthma was acting up…it probably hadn't been an excuse. And, unknown to Jazmine, he'd promptly found the guy who had stalled on getting her inhaler in the first place after school (who cared that it wouldn't have worked anyway?) and blacked his eye.

_That _would teach him.

So, long story short, it was usually _him _who was worried about her asthma as opposed to her, and he wasn't even the one who had it! But he couldn't help it that every time she started having an attack he thought back to when she nearly _died _and got all paranoid about it. He worried about it! So sue him!

But since she was now forming coherent sentences and had gone back to her trademark hiccupping, he figured she'd be okay…this time.

"I can't believe I'm _failing_," Jazmine mumbled, her voice still small. "I've never gotten below an A in…anything."

Huey shrugged. "Um…there's a first time for everything?" When she shot him a glare, her already red eyes filling again he sighed, holding up his hands. "Okay, okay! Well, why don't you get a tutor?"

"Because," she sniffed, tossing her inhaler from hand to hand. "The ones at school confuse me. And there aren't that many who _do _know about Number Theory. And the few professors that are good at it are always too busy or something." She hiccupped again. He sighed.

"Well…" He racked his brain for ideas. "Do you know _anyone _who could help you?"

Jazmine shrugged, then blinked. Her eyes widened.

"Actually…" She snapped her fingers. "Cameron could!"

Huey made a face. "Okay…do you know anyone _else _who could help you?"

Jazmine stuck out her tongue. "You're not funny."

"…I wasn't aware that I was trying to be…"

"Ooh, why didn't I think of it before?" Jazmine jumped up, rushing into their room. "He _said _he didn't mind helping me! And it makes so much sense when he explains it! And he's so smart…I know you're making faces, Huey!"

"What?" Huey stopped making a gagging expression long enough to glance at the door. "I am doing no such thing. And I don't appreciate negative, inaccurate accusations such as…" When Jazmine poked her head over the doorframe long enough to shoot him a knowing look he snorted. "How could I _not _make faces? He's a-"

"Don't start!" Jazmine chimed, disappearing back into their room. "I'm gonna see if he can come by today!"

"…_Really_?" His _one _day off that week and he had to see pretty boy Cameron? Shoot, the boy won't even _that _smart! "What did I do to _deserve _this?"

"Then go do something so you don't have to deal with him!" Jazmine suggested loudly. He rolled his eyes.

"I ain't leaving him here with just _you_."

There was the sound of their closet door slamming, followed by Jazmine poking her head over the frame again. Her eyes were narrowed.

"And may I ask _why_?" Her voice was hard. "Is it because you don't _trust _me?"

Wow. When did she learn to be so _scary_? He shook his head.

"Oh, it's not _you _I don't trust."

"Whatever." Her head vanished from view again and he heard the closet door reopen. "Well, fine! I'll meet him somewhere! Better?"

Well, it would be better for his eyes…but did he really want her to be alone with this guy somewhere that he couldn't _witness _it? He winced.

"Actually…you could just stay here…"

"Nope!" Jazmine came out of their room, a towel hanging from her arm. She went into the bathroom, closing the door. "We'll go to the library, _okay_?"

"Or, like I just said, he could just come here." Huey sighed. "I really don't care."

"Nah!" The sound of the shower cutting on muffled Jazmine's voice. "There would be less distractions there anyway! There's too much food here!"

That girl and _food_. He rolled his eyes, reaching for his own textbook.

"Fine. Whatever."

What the hell did _he _care for, anyway? After all, Jazmine was merely taking initiative and trying to turn around her bad grade. So what if she just happened to be getting help from a man who practically eyed her like she was a rib-eye steak whenever in close enough proximity? He ain't give a shit!

…Oh, who was he kidding? He _completely _gave a shit!

One thing that sucked about being an ex-cheating ho? You couldn't exactly get anywhere _near _implying that your significant other could possibly wind up doing it as well. Not that he ever thought she would, but he did think that Cameron wasn't above it himself. Only if he expressed this to Jazmine, she'd interpret it completely different, blow it all out of proportion…and he'd be sleeping on the couch for the next three nights like he'd had to when he'd donated her Coach purse to charity the April before. And he really didn't feel like sleeping on the couch.

He was so busy assessing the entire situation that he didn't even notice Jazmine come back out the bathroom and finish getting dressed until she was getting her coat out the hall closet, giving him a pleading look.

"The train's been giving me motion sickness. Is it okay if I drive your car?"

He started to say no until he realized that she might need a quick getaway if the creep tried to make a move. "Uh…sure."

"Yay!" She clapped her hands enthusiastically, catching his keys with minimal effort when he tossed them to her. "Thanks, love you, bye!" She was out the front door before he could even take a breath. He blinked, shaking his head as he heard her singing "I'm gonna pass math! I'm gonna pass math!" down the hallway. After a few seconds he snorted, waving his hand and cutting on the TV.

"Man, whatever." He flipped through the channels, propping his feet on the coffee table. Cameron wasn't gonna try anything. After all, he was a grad student. As a grad student he should know better than to try and mess with a pregnant woman. Besides-

"That nigga ain't stupid," Huey snorted, stopping on a news channel. Jazmine came face to face with Maya two months after their entire incident and merely ignored her. He wasn't nice. He wasn't Jazmine. If Huey came to face to face with Cameron upon finding out he'd pulled something, Cameron would be dead. It was as simple as that.

Shit, Huey won't scared of jail. It wasn't like he hadn't been there before.

…Alright, he was starting to sound insane now…

Luckily, his cell phone started ringing, which broke through his illogical thoughts. He flipped it open, muting the story about some robber who stopped on the way out of the bank to ask a woman if he could take her out sometime before shoving the phone between his ear and shoulder.

"Hello?"

"Aye!" Caesar's cheerful voice rang in his ear. "Watchu doin, homie?"

"_Not _choking a nigga," Huey said casually, reaching for the newspaper. There was a pause.

"…What?"

"Nothing." He sat up straighter, flipping through the paper. "What's going on?"

"You watchin' the South Africa World Cup, man?"

"No."

"Oh." Caesar paused. "Well…what about them Celtics?"

"Ceez, shut _up_." Huey rolled his eyes. "You did _not _call me to talk about sports." He heard his best friend sigh.

"You right. You always right." Caesar cleared his throat. "Alright, you remember that guy from our eleventh grade World Literature class? Uh, Lincoln?"

"The one who always played Slightly Stoopid out of his dumb car windows and smelled like Tabasco sauce and gym socks?"

"Yeah, that guy!" Caesar sounded like he was trying not to laugh. "Well, apparently his cousin goes to the same school as Cindy. And, apparently, Cindy's been hanging out with him a lot."

Uh-oh. Huey pressed his lips together to keep his I-told-you-so from bouncing off his tongue. He couldn't help it that he hated Cindy. But while his hatred for her ran deep and wide, it didn't necessarily make her a cheating ho.

"Well..." He worked to keep his tone even. "Just because they're hanging out doesn't mean they're anything _more_."

"I know, I know!" Caesar laughed again, even though it sounded nervous. "I just figured I could ask you, since you know all about cheating and all."

Huey's expression fell flat. "Goodbye, Caesar."

"Man, I'm just kidding!" Caesar snorted. "I know the long distance thing is hard and we lucky it's worked this long, but…I mean, how am I supposed to ask about it without sounding like a creepy stalker?"

"You could just try _not _asking about it until you have more information." Huey shrugged, staring at the screen; now the newscasters were talking about some woman who strangled her ex husband to death with a duck printed shower curtain. _Man_, some weird people were in Chicago. He heard Caesar snort again.

"Because I just get so much information from Pennsylvania when I'm in _Maryland_."

"It's not that far."

"It don't matter!"

"Well, what the hell do you want me to say?" he snapped. "That you should go up to UPenn and _spy _on her?"

There was a long pause. Huey stared at the phone.

"Ceez…I was kidding."

"I know, I know." Caesar's voice was thoughtful. "But that's…a good ass joke. So good that I'm gonna take it _seriously_."

"I don't think you should-"

"Oh, come on! It's perfect!" Caesar sounded confident. "Not only would I conveniently be able to see for myself, but at the same time she wouldn't even be aware of my suspicions in the first place! Not that I don't trust _her_," he added quickly. "It's just _him _I don't trust."

Oh, god. How familiar did _that _sound? Huey couldn't help but consider his words.

"Well…"

'_Don't let this dumbass get you in trouble.'_

"Caesar, no. I'm warning you." Huey shook his head. "Don't do it. It _won't _end well."

"It _could_ end well!"

"It could…but it won't."

After a few more moments, Caesar sighed.

"I guess you right. Maybe I'm being paranoid anyway."

"Yup."

"I just…women don't _get _how men think, you know?" Caesar sounded annoyed. "They think "Ooh, he offered to drive me to work" or "Oh, he just _offered _to buy me coffee so we could _talk_" or "He's just helping me study" is all innocent. But it ain't." There was a dark laugh on the dreadhead's part. "Oh, it _definitely _ain't."

Huey glared at the phone. His best friend was _not _helping! Even worse, Caesar decided to _keep talking_.

"I mean, it starts off good." Caesar's voice was dramatic. "One minute she's innocently going over her homework assignment with him at the library or some café. And then, he suggests they take a break. Get some fresh air or something to eat or go check out some jazz festival at the park…next thing you know dat nigga got her holding her ankles in the back of a Chili's."

"You are such a _dumbass_-" Huey cut off as another call beeped in. "Hold on."

"Aiight, son!"

Huey clicked over to the other line, pressing the phone back up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Hey!" Jazmine's cheerful voice sounded in his ear. "You doing okay?"

"Um…yeah?" Didn't he just see her like, twenty minutes ago? What did she want? "What's up?"

"Well, I was almost to the library, but Cameron called me and asked if I wanted to meet him at Chili's instead cause he's hungry! And I'm _starving_!" Jazmine mistook Huey's shocked silence for intense listening and went on. "So, I'm on my way there. I just wanted to let you know. Is that okay?"

"Yeahhhh…" Huey made a face. "Just…stay away from red meat?"

"Pssh. _No_? Bye!"

_Click._

Huey stared at the phone for a few more seconds before pushing the talk button again, slowly lifting it to his ear once again.

"…Hello?"

"Bout time…damn." Caesar let out a low whistle. "You sound like someone told your ass you only got a year to live. What's up?"

"Nothing." Huey snorted. "I'm good. I gotta go."

"Oh. Alright. Peace!"

Huey hung up, shaking his head and tossing his phone aside. He glanced towards the TV and sighed, turning it off.

It was his day off. Did he really want to spend his day off tracking down his girlfriend and her shady ass study buddy at a chain restaurant?

…Well, he wouldn't be _spying_, technically. He'd be…_checking _on her. Yeah, that was the word!

In that case…he quickly jumped up from the couch, tossing the remote aside to hurry up and get dressed. Within record time he was out the apartment and on the train, trying to convince himself that he wasn't being an ass. He couldn't help it that he could recognize that Jazmine's "friend" was a conniving douchebag!

Alright, not his best adjective usage, but still! The point remained that innocent, trusting Jazmine had no idea what she was dealing with. And that he needed to make sure she was okay. After all, she knew nothing about self defense. He couldn't just leave her hanging!

Who was he kidding? He was just being a nosy mother fucker.

By the time the train made it to the stop closest to the Chili's he was feeling a bit less sure about this. After all, Cameron may have been a whipped pretty boy, but he _was _doing Jazmine a favor. And he _did _seem nice…

Polar Bears seemed nice, too…until they ate you.

Huey hopped off the train, flipping the hood of his sweatshirt over his head so he could cover his face. At least he tried to, but then his afro sort of got in the way so he had to tie it back in a painful ponytail so tight his eyes felt ready to pop out the sockets. He tried to flip the hood over again, the dark blue material falling over his eyes.

Word.

He tucked his hands in his pockets as he walked casually into the Chili's, a pair of sunglasses over his eyes and an I'm-not-here-to-spy-on-anyone-I-swear expression on his face. The hostess looked up as he approached, offering him a bright smile.

"Hi! Welcome to Chili's!" She looked behind him as if searching for others. "How many in your-"

"One." He let his eyes roam over the place, his eyebrows drawing together. He didn't _see _them anywhere…the hostess nodded, grabbing one menu out a rack and starting through the restaurant.

"Right this way!"

He followed her through the restaurant, quickly scanning the tables they passed. White guy…another white guy…more white guys…some white kids…

Damn. Where _were _they?

"Sorry for seating you so far in the back, but it's pretty crowded up there." The hostess gestured to a booth near the back corner of the place, grinning. "Is this alright?"

Huey looked around. The only other people who were back here were a man and a woman…a woman whose bright hair was spilling from under her hat and whose green eyes were focused on the guy in front of her. He nodded, sitting down and taking the menu.

"Perfect."

In all honesty, this wasn't the best spot to be. Since they were the only two occupied tables in the back it meant that he'd stick out easier than if they were in a crowded section. And while Jazmine wasn't always observant, she wasn't an idiot. It would take more than a pair of shades and a hood to fool her. He shook his head.

"Your server will be right with you," the hostess told him before walking away. He stood up himself, giving them one last glance. He didn't need to be here. They were just eating, for god's sakes! There was nothing going on…

Suddenly, Cameron was leaning across the booth to whisper something in Jazmine's ear. She covered her mouth with her hand, her face flushing, and then she started laughing.

Huey glared, promptly flopping back down in his seat.

"Hey, there!" A waitress, a black girl with long braids that had beads on the end, came up and stood in front of the table. "My name's Brandy! Can I start you off with something to drink?"

"Yeah. Water." As she walked away he glanced back towards the booth, where both of them were now laughing. Well, damn. They sure did have a lot to laugh about.

When the hell would the _studying _part start?

"Here you go!" The waitress came back in what seemed like seconds, placing his water in front of him and presenting his straw with a flourish. "I'm sorry, I forgot to ask if you wanted a lemon with that?"

"No." He lifted his sunglasses to give her a funny look. "Do you know what's _on _a good ninety five percent of those lemon slices you try to pawn off on your unsuspecting customers?"

The waitress stared down at him with surprised brown eyes. Realizing that lecturing strangers on the dangers of citrus fruits probably wasn't the best thing to do he lowered his shades again, picking up his straw.

"No lemon, thanks."

"You know…" The waitress tilted her head to the side. "You have _really _gorgeous eyes."

Oh, _god_.

"Uh…thanks?"

"And you seem like one of those smart types." She grinned. "I like smart guys."

"I'd…like a few minutes to think about what I want." Feeling sort of bad for the expression that fell across her face he shrugged. "_Please_."

Just that one word made her brighten. "Okay!" She nearly ran off while he shook his head, going through the menu. Let's see…he didn't eat meat…he didn't eat eggs…he didn't eat pastas or rice unless they were wheat…he didn't eat things that had enough sodium to kill you…

Well. That basically eliminated the entire menu. He wasn't going to waste money on food he wasn't going to eat and no, he didn't want a freaking salad. He watched as Jazmine and Cameron's server brought over their food, saying something with a smile before walking off.

Ugh! That damn Jazmine! She _had _gotten red meat! And a _steak _at that!

He was going to kill her…

Wait, he couldn't. Because he wasn't supposed to _be _there. He ducked his head as Cameron happened to glance his way, only looking up when the waitress came back to the table.

"So, do you need more time, or-"

"Do ya'll have a menu with, you know, _real _food on it?" When she gave him a confused look he sighed. "Something that won't kill me?"

"Well, we don't really have many healthy options…" The waitress tapped her chin with her pen, frowning. "You don't like chicken?"

"I don't eat meat."

"Oh." She looked surprised. "Well…you could always get something without the meat. We have a lot of pastas that don't have-"

"I don't eat simple carbs."

The waitress blinked, obviously confused. "We don't sell simple carbs. We sell _pasta_."

He wondered how noticeable it would be if he suddenly started choking her. He sighed, handing her the menu.

"I'm good, thanks."

"Not even dessert?"

"I don't eat eggs."

"Uh, I don't think we sell eggs for a dessert option…our desserts are mainly cake and stuff-"

"Okay, do you _know _what the food you're selling is made of?" Seriously. No one could be this stupid. "Do you?" When she shook her head he snorted, shaking his head. "Well, you should probably invest some time in learning the ingredients that is put in the foods of your establishment, especially since you're trying to _sell _them. As a matter of fact, the ingredients should be available to the consumer anyway, especially upon demand! What if I had a severe peanut allergy and ordered an item that didn't have peanuts but was made from their acid or other by products?"

"…You're allergic to peanuts?"

"_No_! No," he repeated in a much lower voice, trying not to attract attention. At least Cameron and Jazmine were too immersed into their conversation to notice the angry black man complaining on the other side of the building. "You know what? I'm fine. Really. I'm just…here." He handed her the menu, standing up. "Have a good one."

"Well-" He didn't even wait for what she had to say, instead spinning around to leave…

…and promptly slamming into a server holding a large tray of food.

He wasn't easy to knock over, but when he was annoyed, in a hurry, _and _caught off guard? It wasn't too difficult to do. He as well as the waitress fell back, the six plates full of food flying in the air and, almost in slow motion, crashing onto the both of them. The entire restaurant seemed to spin around to stare at the two people on the floor who were now covered in food, the tray and plates clanging loudly on the floor. The waitress bolted up, her eyes wide.

"Oh, my god!" She put her hands over her mouth, her blue eyes wide. "I'm so _sorry_!" He merely shook his head, staring up at the ceiling. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, he'll be _fine_," a voice cold enough to compete with the arctic said from over his head. He glanced up to see Jazmine glaring down at him, her hand on her hip. A few seconds later Cameron came to stand beside her, peering down as well.

"Hey! You look familiar!"

"Uh-" Huey coughed, disguising his voice. "I don't think you know me-"

"Cut the _crap_, Huey Freeman." Jazmine shook her head, her eyes narrowed. Cameron blinked.

"Whoa! Really?" When Huey sighed and lifted his food splattered sunglasses off his eyes he gasped. "Oh, damn! It _is _you!"

"Oh, my god!" The blue eyed waitress stared at him. "You have the _prettiest _eyes!"

"_Right_?" His waitress gestured to the girl, grinning. "That's what _I _said!"

Jazmine gave both girls funny looks before shaking her head, staring back down at Huey. She shook her head, turning away and grabbing Cameron's arm.

"Come on." Her voice was hard, a tone he recognized since it was so rare. "Let's just go."

"Okay…"

Huey groaned, closing his eyes. He opened them again to see their server boxing up their food. He climbed to his feet, holding out his hand towards the other waitress to help her up. She grinned.

"Thanks! I'm…sorry about the food thing."

If he wasn't so worried about the wrath of Jazmine Dubois he would've probably been pissed, but instead he shook his head, booking it out of there faster than a drug addict in a rehab clinic.

Well. _That _had been a stupid idea. A very stupid idea. What had he been _thinking_?

Being that he didn't want to walk around with food all over himself, he rode the train back home. He put on some different clothes, flopped back on the couch with his textbook, and waited. No doubt was Jazmine gonna be busting in the place at any second to scream down the roof.

At least, that's what he had expected. That was what typical Jazmine would do. Only, she wound up not coming. And after a few hours went by he _still _didn't hear from her.

In fact the entire day went by and he didn't get a single phone call that was filled with threats, shouting, crying, or anything else of that origin. And that was because he didn't get a call. At all. The longer he went without hearing from her the worse he felt. Why wouldn't she just let him have it already? He'd pulled some stupid shit! He deserved it! What was _taking _her so long?

It was so unnerving that when nine pm rolled around, he was nearly _relieved _to hear the key in the front door, even if it did mean he was about to get deafened from Jazmine's yelling. As soon as the front door opened he was jumping to his feet, dropping his book.

Huey wasn't one to apologize for his actions unless prompted to do so. This, however, was a special circumstance.

"I'm sorry." He watched Jazmine close the door, her back still turned to him. "I really am." Before she could even say anything he started talking again. "Okay, before you start freaking out and yelling about how stupid and ridiculous and childish I was, I can tell you I already know. And no matter how much of a…well, no matter how…" Deciding to just leave the subject of how much he disliked Cameron out he changed subjects. "It wasn't that I thought you would pull something-"

"Of course you didn't." Jazmine's voice was surprisingly calm. She turned around, her face showing no signs of anger as well. Oh, this was bad. This was _real _bad. "You were just suspicious of _him_. You probably thought he had some other motive. And, whether you are willing to admit it or not, you were annoyed that there was something _he _could help me with that _you _couldn't."

"Uh…"

_'Just nod and say yes. Just nod and say yes…' _

"Okay."

The sad part was that she was completely right.

Jazmine nodded. And then, she was smiling. It took all of Huey's control to keep his jaw from dropping.

"Okay!" She pulled off her coat, hanging it up in the closet and heading for their room. "Well, I'm tired. Goodnight!"

"Wait…" Huey scratched his head. "You're not mad?"

Jazmine glanced back, shaking her head.

"Of course not."

He couldn't help it; his jaw really _did _drop. She disappeared into their room and he shook his head, staring at the room in disbelief.

"Really?" When he didn't get a reply he shrugged, starting for their room as well. "Wow. Okay-" He stopped mid-sentence as Jazmine appeared again, handing him a pillow and a blanket. "Uh…what's this for?" She shrugged, smirking. His eyebrows knotted together in confusion. "Wait, I thought you weren't mad?"

"Oh, I'm not!" She waved her hand. "I don't have a problem with protective Huey." Her eyes narrowed. "But I do have a problem with lying Huey. Lying Huey who, instead of just _saying _he didn't want me to go anywhere alone with Cameron, took it upon himself to look like a complete _idiot_."

Huey examined the pillow and blanket, sighing as he glanced at the sofa.

"Sooo…that's me?" He looked back at her. "I'm on the couch?"

"Uh huh." She waggled her fingers at him. "Love you! Goodnight!" She stepped back, slamming the door in his face. He stared at the door with a stunned expression before his eyes narrowed.

"Well, fine!" He snorted. "I wanted to play Xbox anyway!" When he only heard laughing in response he groaned, flopping on the sofa and staring at the ceiling. Suddenly, he swore under his breath.

He knew _exactly _why Jazmine hadn't came to yell at him and why she'd taken so long getting home. She'd done it _just _to prolong his internal agony! She knew he thought more than he spoke and that he'd be analyzing _everything_, and just for that she left him to mentally beat himself up about how she was going to be mad at him! No wonder she didn't have to be angry! He shook his head, smashing his pillow over his head.

Not to mention he couldn't even ask her _why _she'd been gone for so long…

That slick woman. She knew him way too well. And people thought she wasn't that bright. He sighed, closing his eyes.

There was something wonderful about the week before Spring Break that had even _Huey _in a good mood. Just knowing that a temporary reprieve of freedom was within reach did miracles for the tired and weary. It renewed the spirit. It rejuvenated the soul…

"Oh, fuck that _bullshit_."

For all Huey Freeman cared, the week before Spring Break could go to hell.

* * *

Well, Huey can't _always _be smart... :/

Thank you for reading! And thanks for getting on my ass to update you-kno-whos! And to one reviewer, I haven't forgotten about All Roads. I swear :)

Sooo...you should review now. Yeah!

-Kelsey


	26. Horror Stories

Hello all! It's been an alarmingly long time since I've updated this, I know. Instead of doing a long author's note like I usually end up doing I will leave it at this; sometimes, life sucks. Haha.

So, thank you to grumpirah, Goku's Daughter, DarkPhoenixSaga, Shiori Yume, traban16, CattySweet, MissG2020, Nakamayosha, insert psuedonym, jayjai107, child who is cool, Brendan Aurabolt, MiZrEAlangel, DaBlackGoku, Shantelle, Secrets4theunderground, Lachelle92, DarkPhoenixSaga, and ray for the reviews! I have chapters I like a lot more than others...and this isn't one of my favorites. That's what I hate about long periods of not updating...you start second guessing yourself and crap. UGH. But yeah, uh, my main goal is for none of you to want to punch me in the face for how much it sucks, so we'll see how that goes...

_"Why do you use won't instead of wouldn't?"  
_Because I'm a retard who thought won't made a lot more sense until you pointed it out. lol. You=1. Me=0. Thanks for pointing that out. :)

_"Don't tell me who you think will win Game 7 until after the game, plz"  
_I know I'm late on this, but words cannot describe how pissed I was when who I was rooting for DID NOT win. I was at work and happened to see a TV and was just like "NOOOO! Everyone stared at me like I was nuts.

_Do you have a facebook?  
_Why yes, I do! If you go to my...do I call it page? There's a lovely assortment of links to other intranet places I lurk. Feel free to harrass me. I really don't care.  
...Really. I don't. Lol.

I think that's about it...

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Horror Stories

It was a one hour flight from Chicago to Baltimore.

Sadly, that hour was not passing by quickly enough.

"I'm hungry."

"Then why don't you-"

"I'm nauseous."

"Well, the bathroom's definitely-"

"I have to poop but I _can't_."

"Oh, for the love of god."

"Well, my hemorrhoids hurt and I've been constipated since Tuesday and…why is it so damn _hot _up here?"

"Damn." Riley shook his head from his seat by the window, looking like he was trying not to throw up. In other words he was wearing the same expression as his older brother, who was squashed in the middle seat between him and Jazmine, who was happy to complain to anyone who was in shouting distance. "Sooo you couldn't have just kept dat to yoself?"

Huey hated the middle seat. He hated when people insisted on complaining for long periods of time and Jazmine was no exception to that. But most of all, he really hated hearing about her hemorrhoids.

And he was sure that everyone else on the plane was over them as well.

"And my iPod battery's dead and I wanna listen to Justin Bieber!"

He was going to lose his mind. He really was.

"And it smells like old barbeque sauce! Do you smell that, Huey?" When he didn't say anything she shook his arm, frowning. "Do you?"

"Jazmine!" Huey suddenly snapped, causing the entire plane to look towards them. "I don't care about your damn hemorrhoids or your barbeque scented oxygen intake or your constipation! And if you mention Justin Bieber one more time I just might throw myself off this plane! So can you just _stop talking_?"

Jazmine blinked, her eyes widening. He sighed. Great. Now she was probably going to start crying or having some other Jazmine-specialty tantrum or better yet-

"I have to throw up!"

Yup. There was that.

The passengers of flight 204 had all boarded the plane half an hour before departure that morning, expecting a smooth flight with clear skies. After all, the persistent gray clouds of a gloomy winter had cleared away to expose a brilliant blue sky and beautiful sunlight that was enough to make optimists like a certain mulatto cheer…and enough to make pessimists like a certain African American groan in frustration.

What none of the one hundred and twenty passengers _had _expected was the surprise thunderstorm that they hit when flying over Ohio, causing a delay as their pilot circled around to keep the plane from spiraling to their doom.

Lovely.

"You _do _know that being in a plane during a thunderstorm isn't any more dangerous than being on the ground, right?" Huey informed Jazmine as she took a break from complaining long enough to hyperventilate into a paper bag. She'd never been a happy camper when it came to flying and that was _before _her previously vanished morning sickness had manifested itself into motion sickness. A particularly loud clap of thunder that seemed to rumble around the entire aircraft caused a few people to scream. She shook her head and he rolled his eyes, going back to his book.

He was annoyed, _very _annoyed. Only his reason for being annoyed had nothing to do with inclement weather or severe turbulence that made poor Jazmine's face turn greener with each flare up. Shit, he wasn't even _too _annoyed at her endless whining! No, he was annoyed because-

"I want candy! I WANT CANDY!"

He sighed heavily from his spot, glowering at the seat in front of him and attempting to ignore the flailing five year old boy behind him who was kicking his seat with such vigor his spine was starting to ache.

"Please. _Please_," he grumbled under his breath. "Someone give that kid some candy. Or some Adderall." When another series of whines began sounding he rolled his eyes. "Better yet, a damn _Ambien_-"

"Damn, nigga." Riley, who was so good at being nosy he'd heard everything through his loud music, snickered and tugged out one of his earphones. He had gotten so desperate for entertainment that he'd taken a _book_ Huey was reading (gasp!) and was flipping through it, his eyebrows raised. "So you gon keep ya'll kid doped up on narcotics when dey give you dat kinda shit?"

"Riley, shut up." Of course he wouldn't!

…Jazmine would never let him get away with that.

"I don't _want _Mountain Dew!" A sudden high pitched yell from behind him caused him to groan and close his eyes. "I want…_candy_!" A bright flash of lightning, followed by another clap of thunder, made the boy scream. Even Riley, who had the window seat, jumped. On his other side Jazmine clamped her hands over her mouth, her eyes wide. The forgotten paper bag fluttered to her lap.

"I'm gonna throw up."

"Then go to the restroom."

"I'm gonna _throw up_!"

"Then go to the _restroom_!"

"I can't _move_," Jazmine managed in between inhaling large amounts of air. Her teeth were clenched, her face tinting a light green all over again. "It only makes it _worse_." When the plane started wobbling underneath them a few seconds later she groaned, squeezing her eyes shut. "Oh, no…"

"Okay." Huey shut his book, turning towards her. "Do you need help getting up to go? Because you are _not _going to throw up on me. No. That simply isn't gonna happen."

"Naw, nigga!" Riley held out his iPod towards them. "She just gotta take her mind off it, son! She can listen to mah iPod. I got sum Jeezy, sum Drake…even yo nerd ass like Drake!"

Huey gave his brother a look, shaking his head. "Riley, I wouldn't even have an interest in Drake if it turned out he was voice acting a main character in _Gears of War 3_."

Riley frowned. "Well, actually…he is."

Huey blinked, his facial expression never changing. "You know…I _still _don't care about the guy." He suddenly narrowed his eyes at Riley. "Besides, you're not even supposed to have that thing _on _right now! You heard the pilot's announcement about all electronics being turned off. I don't care how much you appreciate Drake's mediocrity-"

"I don't _care _about Drake right now!" Jazmine nearly growled. The other two glanced towards her. "I _care _about not tossing my cookies!"

"Yo wimpy self _should _care!" Riley started cackling. "You been shootin out vomit like a fountain fo tha past week!"

"You're _not _helping." Jazmine glared at him, even though his words were true. For whatever reason her motion sickness was so bad that she could barely hit a speed bump in a car without having to resist the urge to throw up. And that…was just from _driving._

So, due to the fact that they were in an aircraft that was doing all sorts of shaking and wobbling, it wasn't too much of a surprise when within seconds she was quickly putting her head between her knees (as best as she could, being that her somewhat protruding belly was in the way) and taking deep breaths. Another blinding flash of light filled the plane. "Oh, my god. We're gonna die."

"Jazmine."

"We're gonna _die_!"

"_Jazmine_."

"The plane's going to freefall and collapse to the ground in an explosion of flames and smoke and they'll never be able to identify our charred, dead carcasses from the inferno that'll _consume us_!"

"Jazmine!" Huey snapped, causing her to glance up at him. He paused. "Wow. Since when do you think about charred, dead carcasses? What happened to ponies and rainbows and all the other things I have to pretend to give a damn about?" When he merely got a weak glare in response he shrugged. "Whatever. It's a _thunderstorm_. We're not going to die." She sat up, swallowing heavily. "Look, do you need anything? Do you want me to try and get you some water? Or-"

"Hold me?"

"Absolutely not."

"Huey!"

"_I'll _hold you," an African American man not too much older than them from the other side of the plane volunteered with a grin. Huey glared.

"Yeah, buddy. And it'll be the last thing you _ever _do."

"_Don't_." Jazmine took her attention off of her nausea long enough to grab his hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. "Relax. Just think happy thoughts!"

Huey glared towards her. "Jazmine, I will set this plane on _fire_."

The mulatto slowly let go of his fingers, frowning. "There was…nothing positive about that at _all_."

The guy frowned, straightening in his seat. "Nigga, you mad? Oh, you gon do something? Watchu gon do?"

"Ooh!" Riley instigated from his seat. The loud men were earning themselves wide eyed stares from the rest of the passengers. Huey's eyes narrowed.

"Oh, for real?" He undid his seat belt, the other man doing the same. With his already foul mood? No way was he going to put up with some _idiot._ "Hell no. Oh, _hell _no. I do _not _have time for this shit-"

"Huey-" Jazmine started. The other man glared back as well.

"Ain't nobody scared of yo cotton ball hair havin, gawtdamn-"

"OOH!" Riley put a fist to his mouth, howling with laughter. "You gon let him talk to you like dat, nigga? Aw shit, son. I'd be tearin dat ass up like-"

"Riley, shut up!" Jazmine tugged Huey's sleeve, yanking him back into his seat. "No. _No_!" She plucked his forehead.

"_Ow_!"

"Bad Huey! _Bad_!"

"Jazmine, I am _not _a dog."

"Everybody SHUT UP!" A vastly overweight man near the front of the plane roared, making everyone clamp their mouths shut. He turned around, shooting them all dirty looks and pointing at the TV poised over his head. "I'm _trying _to watch _Glitter_!"

Everyone fell silent, even the screaming kid. Huey blinked.

"Oookay…" As everyone went back to their business he smacked his palm against his face. "I'm just ready to _get off _this plane-"

"You?" Jazmine's face at this point was so green that _grass _probably couldn't compete with her. "I feel _horrible_." She sighed. "I just hate feeling so sick-"

"You think _you've _got it bad?" A sudden loud voice from in front of them caused the trio to look up, a short haired blond poking her head over the seat. She took a peek at Jazmine and shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Amateur."

Jazmine blinked, confused. "Huh?"

"Now, you want to talk about bad pregnancy symptoms?" The woman gave her a challenging look. Huey made a face.

"Not…really, no."

God, he _hated _people like this (which accounted for a good ninety percent of the population), the ones who only used other people's problems or conversation topics to talk about themselves and _their _experiences, as if anyone gave a shit. Sure enough…

The woman glanced at him before waving her hand, as if he wasn't worth her time and energy. She glanced back to Jazmine, who was holding her trusty paper bag again and shook her head.

"You think motion sickness is bad?" She let out a low whistle. "Honey, it's only going to get worse."

Poor Jazmine's eyes widened. "_Worse_?"

"Of course!"

"Oh, Lillian, put a sock in it." A woman in the row across from the blond, who was old enough to at least be their grandmother, tucked a strand of gray hair behind her ear. She glared. "For god sakes, you're going to scare the poor thing." There was a brief flash of lightning and she let out a breath, shaking her head. "Now, pregnancy isn't _all _bad." She smiled reassuringly. Riley was snickering into his sleeve. "People tend to be much nicer to you. Oh." She snapped her fingers. "And the sex is good."

"Oh, my god." Huey buried his face in his hands. "Someone give me a parachute. Please."

"And the labor wasn't even that bad!" she went on cheerfully. Jazmine sat up, her expression a little calmer.

"R-really?"

"Oh, wait. I'm thinking of that _Private Practice _rerun I saw last night…that wasn't _my _labor. Oh, of course!" She frowned. "Oh, wait. Labor was _dreadful_."

"Right?" Another woman, this one a couple rows behind them, shook her head. "I thought my son would _never _come out! I was in labor for three days!" She shook her head, obviously missing the horrified look on Jazmine's face, along with the identical annoyed looks that the Freeman brothers were giving her. "It was terrible…I didn't want to get induced and I had diarrhea and-"

"Okay, okay!" Huey sighed heavily. "Look. No one wants to hear about-"

"Oh, diarrhea? _Please_." The elderly woman waved her hands. "Diarrhea was the _least _of my problems. I gave birth in the back of a taxi on New Year's Eve in _Times Square_!"

"Pssh!" The blond gave them both looks of disgust. "Well at least your cervix didn't collapse!"

"Oh, my god," Jazmine breathed weakly. The blond, _finally _noticing her stricken face, softened her features.

"We're scaring you, aren't we?"

"Gee," Huey snapped, wrapping an arm around Jazmine's shoulders and shooting the woman a glare. "You _think_?"

"It wasn't the labor that was so bad," she said, sitting up higher and focusing on the three, who stared back. Her voice lowered, her tone changing drastically. "It was just unexpected." She paused, clearing her throat. "It's like this; you're watching TV on the couch. The house around you is silent. In that moment you're peaceful, relaxed…then BAM!" The three of them jumped in surprise as her voice rose. "Suddenly your water's breaking and then the pain comes, and it's so crippling and intense that it's as if someone's taking a knife and _twisting _your insides with it, just stabbing and _stabbing _and STABBING-"

"I don't wanna be stabbed repeatedly!" Jazmine wailed, looking ready to cry. Huey rolled his eyes.

"Are you _serious_-"

"Oh, and _you_!" The woman pointed to him, making his eyebrows rise. "You, the _man_-" Her voice held a note of disdain. "-just sit there and mumble a few "It'll be okays" like you could possibly _know _what the woman's going through! Like you can understand her suffering! Like _you_ knows for a second how it feels to just _HAVE OVARIES_!"

A sudden clap of thunder, much louder than the others, boomed around them as a bright streak of lightning lit up the plane, casting the woman's face in a haunting light as she laughed maniacally. Both Riley and Jazmine started screaming, along with a good portion of the rest of the plane, as Huey covered his ears with his palms while swearing under his breath.

"This is _bullshit_-"

"Ooh, and the stretch marks-"

"The ankle swelling-"

"The heartburn-"

"Oh, and the _gas_-"

"I'M SCARED!" Jazmine sobbed, now full out wailing, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. "I don't wanna have a baby in a taxi!" The entire plane was staring at her in horror. "I don't _wanna_…I don't…I WANNA GO HOME!"

"Please stop." Huey hugged her into his chest, mainly so he could muffle her hysterical sobbing so that everyone could stop fucking _looking _at them as if they were insane. "You're not-"

"I...DON'T…WANNA…DIARRHEA!"

"Oh, my…Jazmine, you're listening to crazy ass _strangers_. You really think _they _can contribute anything constructive to…do ya'll have a _problem_?" he suddenly snapped towards the rest of the passengers, who spun around to face forward again. Well, all except for one.

"Um, _yes_!" The man up front gestured to the TV. "Hello? _Glitter_? The volume only goes up so much!"

"_Anyway_," Huey went on; at this point Jazmine had lifted her head and was rubbing her eyes with her sleeve, sniffling. "Everyone's pregnancies are different. You're not necessarily going to go through the same things. So don't worry about it." She sniffed again. "_Okay_?"

Jazmine blinked at him. He blinked back. She sighed, slowly offering him a small smile. He sighed in relief, closing his eyes.

"Good-"

"Uhhhhh!" Riley suddenly yelled, pressing himself against the window as Jazmine suddenly bent over at the waist, finally throwing up…

…All over Huey's lap.

Everyone around them let out disgusted groans, save for Huey, who closed his eyes and inhaled sharply through clenched teeth. Jazmine quickly sat up, her eyes wide and her hands pressed against her mouth.

"Oh, my god." She bit her lip. "Huey, I'm so-"

"Uh uh." He held up a hand, his eyes still closed. She winced.

"I'm really."

"_Uh uh_."

"I-" When he shook his head she gulped, hanging her head. He sighed heavily.

"Please tell me I'm not covered in vomit."

"You ain't covered in vomit!"

"Riley." Huey sounded annoyed. "_Really_?"

"Nigga, you told me ta say it!" The eighteen year old snickered. "You ain't say tell da _truth_." He snorted, putting his earphones in his ears. "Pssh. That shit wouldn't happen ta _me_."

"You think _that's _vomit?" The blond shook her head. "Now, when I was pregnant, my vomit was _much _more disgusting…"

"Mommy, I _still _want candy!" The boy behind him resumed the kicking of his chair while Jazmine grabbed her paper bag, shoving it over her face and bending over as she began making retching noises again. Huey sighed at the pitiful woman.

Could he really be mad at her?

…Wait, what was he saying? She'd just _thrown up _on him! Hell yeah!"

"I'm sorry." Jazmine's voice was hoarse when she lifted her head a few moments later, wiping her mouth with her sleeve and gently folding the top of the bag over. Luckily a flight attendant had caught on and had risked tumbling to the floor due to the turbulence to bring him a good year's supply of towels. She looked guiltily towards Huey. "I really am." She took another towel that the airline employee gave her, offering her a feebly smile before turning back to Huey. "Can you forgive me?"

Huey glared at her. She gave him another uneasy smile. He felt the screaming kid kick his chair again and his eyes fell on the closed paper bag. He slowly smirked, gingerly taking the bag from her and unbuckling his seatbelt before turning around to lean over the back of his seat.

"I got your candy..." He held the bag out, dropping it into the boy's stunned lap. "There you go, kid."

He turned back around, fastening his seatbelt again as the sounds of a bag crinkling started up. And then, there was a horrified shriek.

"EWWWWWWWWWWW! MOMMY!"

"You're forgiven." Huey casually continued to wipe the questionable substance off himself, glancing at Jazmine's horrified face. "What?"

She slowly shook her head, sitting back in her seat as the crying from behind them continued. Riley was laughing hysterically on Huey's other side.

"You…are way too enthusiastic about a child's misery."

"Please." He snorted, scrubbing at his pants leg. "I'm enthusiastic about _anyone's _misery."

This was just the _perfect _beginning to their Spring Break.

* * *

...*scratches head*  
Yeah, sooo...thanks for reading? Uh...review?  
Why am I using question marks where periods belong?  
*Goes off to be a loser someplace else*

-Kelsey


	27. Caring: Unconventional Style

So, I am such a ridiculous acting author that I wrote this chapter drunk. Okay, I'm sobering, but whatever. (I have an excuse. I was at a wedding reception. I promise I'm not an alcoholic. lol) I spell/grammar checked this repeatedly but I can't make any promises. And this chapter's shorter than they've been, but this story was originally meant to be a drabble series so you'll survive. Uh, as usual, this chapter was supposed to go differently. Eh.

THANKyouVERYmuch to DarkPhoenixSaga, BlueDolphin2011, CattySweet, Shiori Yume, Goku's Daughter, Traban16, Nakamayosha, MissG2020, Jayjai107, child who is cool, insert psuedonym, Brendan Aurabolt, MzMinni3, avatarneytiri, and Lachelle92 for the reviews! Let me find out this may be my first story to ever hit 200 reviews. Oh, snap. I'm so excited. I really appreciate everyone's feedback/reviews/comments/insert-synonym-here because it really DOES help. I'm sure as fellow writers ya'll understand.

_You said this is one of your least favorites, how come?  
_Because there's nothing worse than trying to get back into the groove of writing after you've been dealing with a bunch of CRAP. Since I was a bit er...out of shape? with this story I just didn't know how well it would fit. It's kind of like going back to running track after an injury and you've been away for awhile or something (minus the physical pain). I'm pretty sure I feel a bit similar with this one but I'm too tipsy/drowsy to really care at this point. (That sounds terrible. Ack.)

_We're all human and when things happen, you gotta take care of 'em right?  
_Bawww that made me smile :)

I'll stop all the useless typing now...

Warning: There is a erm...potentially offensive comment(s) made by a certain someone. These comments do not reflect the personal opinions of the author. (you'd be surprised who'd get offended) It's jokes. Chill dearies. :]

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Caring: Unconventional Style

Being that Huey was…well, _Huey_, he didn't get worked up about much. He didn't have outbursts of emotion in any form, at least not unless it was pertaining to global issues or the ignorance of mankind. He wasn't one to go around professing his undying love for someone (who _did _that?) or participate in public displays of affection. There were very few people he cared about, and those exceptions to the rules were usually so put out by his indifference towards feelings that they didn't bother noticing that he could indeed be compassionate…he just showed it in unconventional ways.

Of course, being that Woodcrest, Maryland was inhabited by the nosiest people known to man it shouldn't have been _too _much of a surprise when someone insisted on trying to "reach" him. And sadly, the person doing the reaching was the very person who should've known better.

"You know," Caesar commented casually as he bounced his soccer ball from knee to knee, his eyes lowered. "You don't seem too excited about this entire thing."

Huey, who was leaning against the tree on his favorite hill while reading the paper, shrugged.

"Aren't you vague."

"You know what I'm talking about." Caesar let the ball drop to the grass with a dull _thud, _giving his best friend a look. "Don't even play."

"I'm not the one asking generalized questions instead of getting straight to the point." Huey looked bored. "If you indeed have a point and aren't just speaking for your health then feel free to speak up."

Caesar stood there for a minute before scooping the ball up, walking across the tall pasture to flop down beside the afro wearing man. He set the ball between his feet, resting his hands on his knees.

"I ain't tryin' to stress you, man-"

"You sure?" When Caesar's eyes narrowed Huey rolled his own ones, shaking his head and glancing back down to his paper. "Fine. Whatever. Proceed."

"I ain't tryin' to stress you, man, _but_…" Caesar took a deep breath, planning his words carefully. He stared up at the wisps of clouds dotting the blue sky before training his eyes back to his shoes. "I don't know. You just seem…like you couldn't care less."

Huey looked genuinely surprised at that. "What?"

"Well…you know." When Huey continued to blink at him he shrugged, rubbing the base of his neck. "I mean, everyone's walking around all excited about you and Jazzy having a baby and you're just like…" When he couldn't seem to find the right word to describe his behavior Huey made a face.

"Apathetic?"

Caesar shook his head, making a face of his own.

"Unconcerned?"

Caesar waved his hand. "The word I'm looking for doesn't matter." He watched Huey continue to read the paper. "It's just, well…" He paused. "Do you even _want _to have this baby?"

For a long moment Huey didn't say anything, the early March wind that rustled through the tree branches being the only sound to fill the void. Finally, the older boy neatly folded his paper, setting it beside him before looking at his best friend.

"It's not that I don't want to." He glanced up at the sky. "This just isn't exactly how I planned on my life going."

"Well, no offense, man." Caesar offered him a shrug. "But that's how life tends to go."

"I understand that." Huey shrugged as well. "But not for me. This sort of situation is supposed to happen to irresponsible people. Ignorant people. Careless people who don't give any type of regard to-"

"This situation could happen to _anyone_." Caesar drummed his fingers against his knees, shaking his dreads out his face. "We're all human. We all make mistakes." When Huey didn't say anything he glanced back over to him. "So did you want Jazmine to…you know…get rid of it?"

Huey sighed, lifting his shoulders.

"I don't know."

Caesar didn't say anything. After another bout of silence Huey snorted, shaking his head.

"The other day we were eating breakfast, right?" Not waiting for Caesar to reply he went on. "Jazmine's talking about how sick she's been and how miserable it is, but how it's worth it because she loves it." His voice was filled with disbelief. "I know everyone probably expects me to feel the same way, but how do you love something you don't even _know_? It doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't," Caesar agreed, nodding. "But sometimes, everything isn't going to make sense." When Huey didn't say anything he straightened a light smile gracing his lips.

"You remember when you, me, Jazmine and Cindy all had that English class together?" he asked rhetorically. Huey shrugged. "Well, we had to write those papers about what we wanted to do after high school and where he hoped to be in ten years." He picked up his ball again, tossing it from hand to hand. "Well, I wrote about how I wanted to go to the University of North Carolina and be the biggest Soccer star they'd ever seen. Cindy, she wanted to go to Brown University for Psychology. Jazmine wanted to go to UPenn and you-"

"-wanted to go to the University of Chicago before going to law school and eventually starting my own political party," Huey said in a bored tone. Caesar smirked.

"Right." He shrugged. "And whose lives are going the way they planned at the moment?" Huey looked at him. "I mean, I messed my knee up and now I'm back in the last place I'd ever want to live. Cindy's at UPenn, the school she didn't even want to go to but ended up loving. And Jazmine was there with her, but then she transferred to Northwestern to be closer to you…face it. Everything isn't done with a play-by-play. You gotta just go with it."

"I appreciate your little pep talk but did you really think I don't _know _that?" Huey shook his head, wrapping his jacket tighter around himself as the wind picked up. "All I'm saying is that this is the _last _thing I'd seen happening. And I don't exactly know how I feel, which is why I really wish people would quit trying to figure it out."

Caesar stared at his shoes, frowning.

"Sorry." His voice was quieter. "I was just trying to help. We talk and all but…we've never really talked about this."

In the near distance a car horn went off. Below them the sleepy town was spread out into tidy, neat rows, the evergreen grass and stretches of housing seeming to stretch on forever. Huey sighed.

"When it came to what would happen, I told her I didn't care." He slapped his palm over the paper to keep it from blowing away. "I left it up to her."

"Well." Caesar's tone was patient. "Do you think she made the right one?"

Huey shrugged.

"I don't know."

"…Do you wish she'd made a _different _one?"

Huey looked at his friend, shrugging again.

"I don't _know_, Ceez. Okay?"

Caesar nodded, even though he still looked curious.

"Well, even though you _didn't _care before…do you care now?"

Huey exhaled through his nostrils, leaning back against the tree and closing his eyes.

"I. Don't. Know."

Caesar cringed. "I won't trying to-"

"You're fine." Huey waved his hand. "If it's not you, it's someone else. And I'm less liable to give in to my urges to punch you in the face, whereas everyone else requires utilizing self restraint."

"That's…comforting…"

The two best friends fell into a thoughtful silence, Huey going back to his paper while Caesar rose to his feet again, dropping the soccer ball in front of his feet.

In all honesty the dreadhead _did _feel a little bad for asking so many questions; he wasn't ignorant of the fact that Huey had endured enough questions to last a lifetime since he, Riley and Jazmine had arrived back in Maryland the day before. Mr. Dubois was on his ass. Mr. Freeman was on his ass. While Mrs. Dubois was never pushy and most likely the most understanding of the adults, even her questions could get to be too much. And as much as Caesar loved his baby, Cindy _certainly _wasn't doing the afro wearing father-to-be any favors.

"Well…" Caesar kicked the ball to and fro, his hands in his pockets. "How are you and Jazzy Fresh doing?"

"Fine." Huey didn't even look up. Caesar lifted his head.

"Was that a "fine" fine or a "I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it" fine-"

"It was a "fine" fine, okay?" Huey was obviously annoyed. After Caesar clamped his jaw shut, looking away, he sighed and lowered the paper. "Thanks for asking."

Something was bothering him. Caesar couldn't put his finger on it and he doubted that anyone else could notice it, but it was there. It was so hard to read the man that he could barely see it himself.

"Are you sure?"

For a moment Huey glared up at him, as if wanting to say some smart comment; instead, his expression smoothed over and he shut the paper again, looking irritated.

"Our rent went up." Caesar's eyebrows lifted. "Sooo yeah-"

"_Dang_. How much?"

Huey looked bored. "Enough."

Smart ass.

"Well, okay." Caesar shrugged. "What, did Jazmine not take it well?"

"Oh, no. She took it _really _well." Huey rolled his eyes. "The only reason she's taking it so well is because she doesn't _know _about it." Caesar's eyebrows rose. "And I haven't told her, nor do I plan on telling her anytime soon. So I suggest you don't open your trap about it unless you want me to shut it for you _permanently_."

"Ookayyy." Caesar took a step back, holding his palms up. "Calm your nerves. I got you!"

"Yeah, you'd _better_." Huey sighed, returning to his reading. "Being that we're discussing the exact same factors that I have to worry about on a daily basis back in Chicago can we change the subject?" His voice was irritated. "I'd really enjoy _not _having to think about things for a week, even if it looks like no one's going to let me _do _that anytime soon…"

"I'll drop it. Honest." Caesar resumed his ball kicking, shaking his head. "Typical indifferent Huey Freeman couldn't care less about any of this. Got it."

"I…definitely didn't say that." Huey shrugged, the corners of his mouth lifted upwards. "And I'd correct you word for word, but I'm too busy being typically indifferent-"

"Shut up!" Caesar shook his head, bringing his foot back and kicking the ball right at the unprepared man. Only at that moment the wind decided to pick up, sending the ball reeling off course. Caesar rolled his eyes, watching the ball as it whizzed towards a figure approaching them…he blinked, and then his eyes widened.

"Jazmine!" Oh, _crap_. "Look-"

_Smack!_

"OW!"

"_Out_." Caesar winced, hurrying up to jog towards the fallen mulatto, who was hunched over on her knees with her eyes squeezed shut. The ball was lying a few feet away from her. He quickly stopped beside her, crouching down and groaning.

"Aw, _man_." He shook his head, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Jazzy, I'm so sorry-"

"_Sorry_?" Jazmine was fighting back tears, her hands pressed to her stomach. "That _hurt_!"

"I didn't mean to-"

"_Move_." Before Caesar could react he was being abruptly shoved out the way by Huey, who dropped down in front of Jazmine. His eyes narrowed towards the other man. "Are you okay?"

The woman nodded, sniffling and taking a deep breath.

"Yeah." Her voice was small. Despite her words she was having trouble stopping the tears, which only caused Huey's glare to intensify. "It just hurt-"

"Did you hit her where I _think _you hit her?" Huey asked loudly, his voice hard. Caesar swallowed.

He couldn't help it. He'd been the guy's best friend for years, but at times like this it didn't make him any less…well, scary.

"It was an-"

"I ain't _ask _you all that." Behind him, Jazmine was trying so hard to stop crying that she couldn't stop hiccupping. She was obviously trying to save Caesar's ass from getting handed to him. "Did _you_. Hit _her_. Where I _think you did_?"

"He didn't mean to-" Jazmine managed meekly, but Huey held up a hand to cut her off. Caesar slowly nodded.

"Yeah, but you can calm all that angry shit down because I didn't mean…what are you doing?" Huey had reached over, picking up the soccer ball with his right hand, his eyes flickering back towards the wary, yet unsuspecting, dreadhead. They narrowed again.

And then, the ball was zooming so fast towards the man, he didn't have time to react before it was slamming square into the left side of his face, the impact so hard it made him fall back. He flopped onto the grass, rolling over onto his stomach and holding his left eye, which was now seeing stars.

"Holy _shit_!"

"Shut up!" he heard Huey yell at him. He sat up on his elbows to see the man still leaning over Jazmine, his own hands now pressed to her stomach. "You could have hurt her, you big idiot!"

"It was an accident," Jazmine said softly, giving Caesar an apologetic look. Only _Jazmine _would apologize for being inadvertently hurt on someone else's part. "I should've been looking-"

"_No_." Huey rolled his eyes. "_That one _should have been paying attention."

"Sorry I haven't mastered the ability to control the _wind," _Caesar grumbled under his breath. He rubbed his eye, glaring with his good one. His eye was stinging so terribly that he couldn't _open _it. No doubt that it was going to turn black.

And it was all thanks to his psycho ass best friend. Like he'd _meant _to hit Jazmine with the ball! Shit, he'd hit Jazmine with plenty of balls back in the day! Soccer balls, footballs, baseballs…he'd even given her a concussion back in ninth grade with a _dodge ball _and Huey hadn't went off the deep end!

Wait a minute…Caesar slowly sat up straighter, observing his best friend as he talked to Jazmine in a voice so low that even the wind wasn't picking it up. Jazmine was looking up at him, still sniffing and wiping her eyes. The injured boy's eyebrows couldn't help but rise in surprise at Huey's facial expression.

One thing about Huey was that he often had two default facial expressions; a scowl, and an even larger scowl. There were only a few circumstances in their eleven years of knowing each other where Caesar had seen the face that he was currently wearing; the first time had been when they were younger and Jazmine had made a taser out of her broken cell phone and accidentally shocked herself. The next time had been when Riley had to get rabies shots from when him taunting a neighborhood Rottweiler had gone wrong. And the third time was when he'd run into Jazmine during their Freshmen Spring Break when they'd been broken up.

It was that facial expression that made the man smirk, even though he would soon resemble a panda bear gone wrong and he was pissed beyond reason that he'd been hurt for something he did by accident. It was that facial expression that made him, instead of snapping at Huey for his action, sit patiently while he finished making sure Jazmine wasn't going to pass out or throw up or burst into tears again. It was also that facial expression which made Caesar stand up when Huey helped Jazmine to her feet, both of them starting down the hill. Caesar shook his head, grabbing the soccer ball and following after them.

He didn't bother trying to talk to Huey since he was obviously still livid. He didn't even side up to either one of them, instead taking his sweet time so that by the time he reached the Dubois' house Jazmine was already going inside, Huey starting after her. At least until Caesar finally chose to speak up, making him stop.

"What was that?"

Huey rolled his eyes, turning around to glare at him all over again. "You aren't really going to make me explain that, are you?"

"Not _this_." Caesar pointed to his eye and shook his head. Huey folded his arms over his chest. "_That._" He pointed to the front door. Huey shrugged.

"_What_?"

Caesar shrugged, not being able to keep from grinning.

"You call _that _not caring?"

Huey blinked. And then he was snorting, shaking his head and turning on his heel again.

"I said I didn't know how to love someone I didn't know." He sounded irritated. "I never said I _didn't care_-"

"You never said you _did. _And you didn't say "someone" last time!" Caesar cackled, pointing. "You said "_something"_!"

"_So_?"

"You acknowledged it as a person!" Caesar shook his head. "Oh, man. Huey's going soft."

Huey gave him a blank stare.

"What happened to being tough as a rock?"

"I don't know, but if something's wrong with Jazmine _or _the other one?" Huey shook his head, going into the house. "I will be _beating you _with a rock." He slammed the door in the dread wearing man's face. Caesar grinned, spinning around and literally smacking into the other Freeman brother. They both stumbled away from each other, groaning. Riley was the first to recover.

"Damn! You dun forgot how ta walk nigga?" Before Caesar could say anything his eyes fell on his eye and he burst out laughing. "Oh, shit! Who beat dat ass?"

"_Nobody_," Caesar grumbled, his smile quickly turning into a frown. Riley laughed even harder, clutching his sides.

"Lemme find out you let someone wail on you like a lil' bitch!" He cackled, shaking his head. "Oh, shit! Caesar's bein' a punk ass nigga!"

"Am _not_-"

"Aye!" Riley breathed heavily through his laughing, grinning. "Wat you say to a girl, or in yo case, a bitch nigga, wit two black eyes?" When Caesar merely glared at him in response he clamped his mouth shut, his cheeks puffing up from held in laughter until he was practically exploding. "Nothin'! You dun told dem twice!"

Caesar's glare intensified. The laughing Riley was too riled up to notice.

"Riley-"

"Wat you call a bitch nigga wit _one _black eye?"

"_Riley_-"

"_A fast learner_!" Riley was so busy laughing that he didn't notice Caesar lift the hand holding his soccer ball, his eyes flashing angrily towards the oblivious eighteen year old…

And then he was hurling the ball at Riley so that it smacked him in the face as well, gaining a bit of satisfaction as he roared in pain, grabbing his face.

"Well." Caesar couldn't help but snort. "At least we'll match." He smirked to himself, strolling casually past the hurt Freeman and retrieving the ball before starting down the driveway.

"Nuh uh!" He could hear Riley yelling angrily behind him. "How you gon hit a nigga an walk away? Dat's like a hit an quit! You don' be hittin' an…well, on tha real dat's the way ta do it, but nuh uh!"

Caesar shook his head, trekking on.

It was moments like these that reminded him that his best friend was never as he seemed.

Oh. And that he was potentially the craziest damn person to walk the face of the earth.

* * *

I have to wake up for work at 6 and it is now 3 am. Oh, and I'm probably going to feel horrible tomorrow?  
...What have we learned, kids? What have we learned?  
Yes. Kelsey is a moron...wait, that's not right! The lesson is drinking is bad! DRINKING IS BAD!

...And when you're done laughing/shaking your head in disgust at me/getting a snack/whatever you're doing, feel free to review! :D And, as usual, thank you for reading.

-Kelsey


	28. Family Meeting

Yay! Update time! XD Alright, thank you to Nakamayosha, MissG2020, g, BlueDolphin2011, jayjai107, Shiori Yume, child who is cool, secrets4theunderground, Lachelle92, DarkPhoenixSaga, KingxLeon21, Goku's Daughter, MzMinni3, CattySweet, kessaris, and Kirara2468. And an even bigger thanks to all of you for making this the most reviewed/most favorited/most alerted/most hits story that I have! Okay, I have an Inuyasha oneshot that has a few more favorites so I'll say the most favorited multi-chapter story of mine. So, yay! Thank you!

Okay, moving on...this entire chapter, save a few paragraphs, has been done for literally weeks. LOL. Sorry! Truthfully I just couldn't get the ending the way I wanted it and on top of that I moved to Philly over the weekend (so all you northerners hit a sista up! :P) and have been looking for jobs nonstop to, you know, not be homeless. Also, I have to use the school library to update until the end of August/beginning of September when all of my housemates are here and we can start paying for internet. I was finally able to see the latest episode of the Boondocks yesterday and got super happy. I'm sorry, but the fact that Jazmine was the only one who bothered to read had me _weak_. And anyone who doesn't know what I'm talking about...my b. :P I had a lot of fun writing this one though. Yup.

_"Nicely done yet again and plz no more drinking (unless im there too)"  
_...I mean...wut?  
I guess I _am _closer to you now though than when I was in VA, huh? :P

Okay, I'm done.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Family Meeting

"Okay, let me do a quick check…honey?"

"Hmm?"

"Robert?"

"_Pssh._"

"Riley?"

"Nigga, wut?"

"Michael?"

"Aye, yo!"

"Cindy?"

"Wut's good, big T?"

"Hiro?"

"What's up?"

"Alright! That's everyone!" Tom Dubois cleared his throat, loosening his tie and smiling fondly at the others assembled at the dining room table. "I just want to start off by saying that I appreciate you all coming-"

"Cut the _bull_shit, Tom! Shoot!" Robert Freeman rolled his eyes, his arms crossed over his chest. He was leaning back in the dining room chair, shaking his head. "You know damn well I was gonna come! Talkin about some "I got some pig feet"…I don't see no pig feet!"

"No _pig feet_?" Cindy's eyes darted around anxiously, her expression crestfallen. "Are ya'll _forreal_?"

"Man, dat's dat ol _bullshit_!" Riley shook his head, sucking his teeth. "Lyin' an shit…dat ain't no good look, Mr. Dubois."

Sarah Dubois shook her head, giving her husband a look. "You told them we had _pig feet_, Tom?"

"I only told him that because he said the only way he'd ever step into our house again would be if we had pork!" Tom defended loudly, throwing up his hands. "I knew if I just said "come over so we can discuss what we're going to do about our children" he would have slammed the door in my face-"

"Shows how much you know!" Robert snorted. "I would have said "Thank you kindly, but _get the hell off my doorstep_!" And _then _I would have slammed the door in your face." He let his hand drop on the tabletop. "Tom, what the hell is _wrong _with you? Our children are _fine_. Huey ain't fuckin up and cutie pie's doing alright, so we don't need to be worrying about them-"

"But that's just it!" Tom shrugged. "They're usually in _Chicago_! How do we _know _they're fine?"

"Well, I talk to Jazmine all the time when they're up there!" Cindy piped up, raising her hand as if they were back in grade school. "She always sounds good to me."

"I talk to Huey a lot, too," Caesar added. "They don't seem like anything's wrong."

"Tom, do you really think they _wouldn't _be?" Sarah rested her chin in her hand, blinking at him. "And if you're so worried about them you could always, you know, go upstairs and knock on Jazmine's _door _and ask her yourself."

"Yea, dem niggas wack as eva, but dey good." Riley looked around. "Sooo ya'll were forreal when you said you ain' have no pig feet?"

"The coons and your beautiful wife got them some points, Tom," Uncle Ruckus said, striding out the kitchen with a sandwich in his hand. The others stared at him. "You leave darkie an lil' halfa to they own. Ain't nobody hurtin' nobody."

"Uh…Ruckus?" Tom scratched his head. "If you don't mind me asking…how did you get into my house?"

"Yo back door was unlocked…_anyway_." Ruckus let out a grunt as he sat down between Riley and Cindy, taking a huge bite of his sandwich. The girl cringed. He took a look around the table, waving his free hand at the silence. "Now, ya'll don't go gettin' all quiet cause I'm here now…you know my nigga brain can't possibly process what the lovely Mrs. Sarah has to say, nor can I begin to comprehend the wise words of vanilla over here. Hell, I don't know what you monkeys doin' _tryin_."

"_Vanilla_?" Caesar snorted. Cindy punched his arm, glaring at him. Robert rolled his eyes.

"Ruckus, can you carry yo racist ass on somewhere?" When Ruckus only continued to munch in response Robert rolled his eyes, facing the rest of them. "Alright, whatever. Why we gotta have this bullshit meeting about their wellbeing when they're already here to tell us themselves?"

"Well, that isn't all we need to discuss!" Tom cleared his throat, lifting up a sheet of paper he was holding and scanning it with his eyes. "Now, I've made a lovely agenda for us to…Sarah, stop falling asleep!"

"Hmm?" Sarah yawned, sitting up and examining her nails. She elbowed Riley, whose head was tilted back and drool trailing out the corner of his mouth as he snorted. He bolted up, smacking his lips. "Sorry, sweetie." Tom shot her a dirty look before shaking his head, continuing.

"First off, Robert." Tom glanced back up, not noticing that Sarah's eyes had drifted shut again and Riley's head was drooping onto her shoulder as he began snoring. "Did you say that you were throwing a baby shower? That's kind of you."

"Yeah, _whatever_." Robert snorted. "It ain't kind with these crazy ass cousins and uncles and everyone else who wanna come. Gon tear up _all _my furniture and eat all my food and-"

"Wait." Cindy frowned. "_I'm _throwing her a baby shower."

"Hmm?" Robert shot her a look before shaking his head. "No no, cutie pie. I don't think you understand-"

"Mr. Freeman!" Cindy whined, throwing out her hand that was holding a purple notebook so hard that she smacked Caesar in the face, causing him to fall out his chair. "Oh, sorry, baby…but seriously! I've gotten _everything_! From the food to the guests to the registry to the time and place to the-"

"There's nothing wrong with them having _two _showers," Sarah said lightly, lifting her head long enough to shrug. "In fact, I want to thank you two for even doing this. It's such a help to-"

"I ain't doing this for ya'll, shoot! I just want an excuse to get a flat screen…I mean…" Robert snapped his fingers. "The _baby _could use a flat screen. Mmhmm. Would look right cute over they little crib. Yeah-"

"Well, when are you two having the showers?" Sarah asked. Robert shrugged. Cindy opened her mouth.

"March fifth," they replied in unison. The entire room fell silent as they glared at each other. "_What_?"

"Well, that's fine, that's fine!" Robert quickly said, waving his hand. "Because mine is at five!"

Cindy's eyes darkened. "Yeah. The same time as _mine_."

Hiro's eyebrow lifted and he started whistling lightly, averting his gaze. The others winced as Cindy's eyes narrowed into tiny slits.

"Uh oh." Caesar shook his head, making a face. "You know, I'm sure we could solve this in a diplomatic and civilized way-"

"I ain't changing my date, Mr. Freeman!" Cindy screeched. Robert slammed his palm down on the table, making Riley start. He rose to his feet, pointing towards Cindy, who did nothing but cross her arms over her chest and glare back in response.

"Look here, you little pippy longstocking-"

"Why don' we combine dem janks?" Riley suddenly asked, sitting up and wiping the drool away from his mouth with his sleeve. Everyone stared towards him. "Wat? Ya'll niggas actin' like it's rocket science!"

"Wow, Riley." Tom grinned. "That's a great idea!"

"I mean, der could be food-"

"Mmhmm."

"And presents-"

"Well, that's nice-"

"An _bitches_." Tom's eyebrow rose. "Lots an lots of bitches. Dem freaky janks, too-"

Cindy smacked her palm against her forehead while Caesar's shoulders shook from held in laughter. "Riley, what do you know about freaky janks? Wait, wait." He held up a hand. "Don't answer that, I don't wanna know."

"Maybe if he focused on them grades instead of them "freaky janks" he wouldn't be failing college Algebra!" Robert suddenly snapped, smacking the youngest Freeman in the back of the head. He glared at his grandfather. "Shoot! Payin fo dat expensive ass art school and you can't even do some simple arithmetic…no two plus two or nine plus seven or-"

"Dayum! Ya'll niggas think I'm stupid!" Riley cackled. "All us niggas know dat nine plus seven shit is twelve!"

Cindy looked at him and shook her head. Caesar made a face.

"It's…a good thing you can draw."

Riley stopped laughing long enough to give him a confused look. "I don' get it."

"I don't know what you coons know about throwin no baby showers no way." Ruckus blinked his good eye towards Robert, a look of disdain falling over his features. "You know damn well the only gifts that poor child gon get is a gun, some pork chops, an ABC store gift card-"

"Ruckus-"

"A damn Snoop Dogg CD, some cornbread mix, some Kool-Aid wine cooler with malt liquor-"

Tom let out a sigh of disbelief. "Oh, my god-"

"Some guide on how to steal TVs, PCs, DVDs, bikes, anything else from the hardworking, persevering white man." Ruckus was so busy rambling he didn't even notice the slackjaw expressions he was receiving. "Some loud ass speakers so they stroller can make jungle monkey _boom boom _noises since you know how much niggas love when the bass in they vehicles strong enough to wake the dead-"

"I think we _get _it-"

"Maybe if that child lucky someone'll fill him in on the five D's he's doomed to live by-" Ruckus ticked off each word on his fingers. "Dumb, deprived, dangerous, deviant, disturbed-"

"Ruckus!"

"If he's even luckier than that someone'll give him a "Get out of jail free" card-"

"Dammit, Ruckus!" Robert slammed his fist down. Hiro's shoulders were shaking with laughter. "If you don't get the hell out of here with all that ignorant noise!"

"Well, fine then." Ruckus slid back, rising to his feet. "I know when I'm not wanted-"

"Man, you ain' neva wanted!" Riley threw up a peace sign, sucking his teeth. "Deuces, nigga!"

"You know, usually Ruckus is kind of funny in that senile way?" Cindy whispered in Caesar's ear. "Now he's just being mean."

Caesar rolled his eyes. "Yes, Cin. His open hatred for his own people is _hilarious_-"

"You know what I meant!"

"This is not why we're _here_!" Tom shouted, throwing up his hands; everyone fell silent. "For god's sakes, we're here to try and work out what we're going to do for my baby girl Jazmine! And Robert, you need to be a little more helpful since it's your grandson that caused this entire-"

"Oh, hold up-"

"Aw _hell _naw!" Riley shot up in his seat. "How you gon put all da blame on mah brother? He a loser or whateva but it ain't his fault he was trustin dis broad to keep her ovaries in check-"

"_What_?" Cindy shouted, glaring at him. Tom did the same. "Riley, you stupid-"

"Aye, if Huey just listened to me and wuz like me, he wouldn't be worrying bout dis cuz it wouldn't be happenin'!" Riley snorted. "Shit. I ain' out here loving deez hoes an you see I ain' bout ta be livin off no welfare…_ow_!" He rubbed his head from where Caesar smacked him. "Nigga wat was _dat _fo?"

"This is getting us nowhere." Sarah massaged her temples, glancing between the others, who were all glaring at each other, their jaws set. "We've already established that this is done. It's no one's fault. Now-"

"Oh, so Jazzy pulled a virgin Mary, den?" Riley snorted. "Yea, aiight, Mrs. Dubois. If you say so. It gotsta be someone fault and it ain't Huey's."

"Riley-"

"Shit, Mary ass was probably lyin, too! Talkin bout some she a virgin…so dat's yo story? Uh huh, you stick wit dat-"

"Boy! What the hell are you talking about?" Robert snapped. Riley shook his head, folding his arms over his chest. Sarah shook her own head, covering her face with her hands.

"How about this?" Everyone turned towards her. "Why don't you just do like Riley said and put the showers together, Robert and Cindy?" The two glanced at each other. "It would make it easier on everyone."

"Well…" Robert stroked his chin thoughtfully, eyeing the blond. "You _do _live in the rich section of town. And they _do _have that good gourmet cheese in them parts…"

"I don't mind." Cindy grinned. "In fact, that's a great idea! I wanna meet your family!"

"Uh, naw." Riley shook his head, propping his feet on the table and ignoring the dirty look Sarah shot him. "You don't."

"You know what I think about-"

"Ruckus, why are you still _here_?" Tom pointed towards the front door.

"Yeah!" Cindy rolled her eyes. "Go away!"

"Oh, I apologize, my little lily skinned beauty." Ruckus gave a stiff nod, backing towards the kitchen again. "How gentle and kind the white woman is! Ah, so gentle and kind…" His voice trailed off as he disappeared. Everyone exchanged nervous glances.

"You know," Cindy said. "I'm pretty sure I've seen him on _Dateline_…"

"Wouldn't be surprised." Caesar turned to the others. "So, what are we here for again? Seriously."

"Well, _I'm _here for pig feet, but I guess I'll never get em!" Robert snapped. Tom held up a hand, his expression serious.

"We have gotten off topic-"

"Nigga we ain' neva had no topic!" Riley pointed out. Sarah shrugged.

"He…does have a point, Tom."

"Face it, Big T." Cindy shrugged as she examined her nails. "The only one worried forreal is you. We all know that they'll be okay."

"Yup!" Robert blinked. "I just really hope my great-grandchild takes after…well…" He scratched his chin. "Actually, given the options, the poor child's pretty much doomed."

"I just hope the poor kid has hair." Cindy snorted, not noticing the confused looks everyone shot her. "My cousin Fabio-"

"Hol' up." Riley held up a hand. "You have a cousin named _Fabio_?"

"Yeah…" Cindy blinked. "Why?"

"Okay, okay, lemme ask like dis…" Riley leaned forward, looking genuinely curious. "Wuz he born in a _real _hospital? Or did dis fool pop out in an inner tube-"

"Don't…finish that." Cindy glared at him. "Anyway, he was born bald, right? He looked a hot. Mess. It was like…a cross between Justin Bieber and a Mr. Potato Head-"

"Babe?" Caesar squeezed her shoulder. "What does that have to do with anything?"

Cindy blinked, then shrugged.

"…Wait, what?"

"Oh, my god. _Why are we here_?" Robert snapped, slamming his palms on the table and rising to his feet. "Shoot, I'm goin home! Got me missin the opportunity to miss some _good TV _before Huey gets back and I have to listen to my grandkids fight the whole damn week…Riley, bring yo ass!" He rose to his feet, stomping for the front door. "And you betta not come over my house no more with no bullcrap, Tom! I ain't playin with yo ass!" He stopped as the front door opened, Huey stepping inside. When he saw seven pairs of eyes stare his way he sighed, shaking his head.

"Well." His tone was dry as he started back out the front door. "Don't let _me _interrupt-"

"Get yo ass back here, boy!" Robert snapped, making him sigh again as he came back inside, shutting the door behind him. "What the _hell _you doin here?"

Huey gave him a blank stare.

"Jazmine wanted tacos." He held up a bag. "When I told her I wasn't going to get them and that she'd better get a salad she threatened to send the CIA my-" Realizing what he was saying he shut his mouth. "Er…Jazmine wanted tacos."

Robert scratched his chin. "Wait, what was that last part?"

Huey blinked. "What?"

Robert stared at him for a few seconds before sucking his teeth. "Man, whateva!"

Huey shook his head, staring past him. His eyebrows knotted together. When no one said anything he sighed.

"Please don't tell me you're having one of those fruitless family meetings which only results in excessive arguing and fighting on behalf of everyone involved."

"What? No! Of course not!" Tom shrugged towards Sarah, who was shaking her head. "We were simply…uh…"

"I was coming over to give them some samples of the music ima be playin' at ya'll baby shower!" Hiro suddenly piped up, snapping his fingers. Although he was the quieter of the group, whenever he opened his mouth his words were worth hearing. Riley grinned.

"Yeah!" Riley nodded, affirming Hiro's words. "He got dem dancin' songs and dem gangsta songs and dem baby makin songs-"

"Oh, yes." Huey's tone was dry. "Because we really need more of _those_."

"Well, Huey." The afro wearing man glanced towards Tom, as did everyone else. He had his fingertips placed together and was smiling at him. "We were just wondering how everything was going?"

Huey looked wary. "Fine."

"Well." Tom grinned. "That's great! But uh…"

"Is there anything we can do to help you two?" Sarah asked, shaking her head at her husband. Huey shook his head, heading for the stairs.

"Not right now, no." He sounded annoyed. "Thanks though."

"Well…" Tom looked nervous. Behind him both Robert and Riley were shaking their heads, giving him a cut throat motion that he was missing. "Is there anything you two _need_?"

Huey, who was on the third step, sighed.

"What I need," he said, his voice dangerously low; Caesar and Cindy winced while Robert and Riley shook their heads. "is for everybody to stop asking me so many questions. I am not some spokesperson. I am _not _Jazmine's advocate. If you for some reason think I'm lying about our current state of things then ask _her _about it instead of directing the same questions time after time to _me_. Because I do _not _feel like hearing it."

Poor, oblivious Tom didn't seem to get the hint like everyone else. He grimaced.

"So, does that mean-"

"STOP ASKING ME SO MANY GODDAMN QUESTIONS!" Huey suddenly snapped, causing Jazmine's father to nearly fall out his chair. The man continued up the stairs, grumbling under his breath. "Am I speaking in Swahili or _what_? Leave me the hell _alone_…"

"Well," Sarah said, shrugging towards Tom as a door upstairs slammed. "Can't tell you that I didn't see that coming."

"Maybe…we should go check on them," Cindy suddenly said, jumping out her seat and grabbing Caesar's collar. The dreadhead let out a strangling noise as he flew out his chair, the blond dragging him towards the steps.

"Ah! Babe, I know…how to…_walk_…"

"I'll…go home now." Hiro leaped up as well, quickly heading for the front door. Riley pushed his chair back as well, sucking his teeth and following Robert towards the door.

"How you gon say you got pig feet and you don' even got no pig feet? Da _hell_?"

"You know what you should do next time you think about opening your mouth, honey?" Sarah asked, resting a hand on her husband's shoulder. Tom offered her an innocent look.

"What's that?"

Sarah stood up, patting his shoulder as she head into the kitchen. "Don't open it."

Tom blinked, then sighed, his shoulders slumping.

All he wanted to do was try to grasp _some _kind of control with this situation. Was that too much to ask? Was it really too much to just want everyone to work together peacefully so that they could all be on the same page?

"The monkeys gone yet, Tom?" Ruckus suddenly asked, his head poking through the front window. Tom glared, waving his hand.

"Go, Ruckus!"

"Well, fine!" Ruckus slammed the window pane down, although his angry rambling was heard outside. "Can' do nothing fo these ungrateful hooligans…"

Tom bashed his head against the table.

Apparently, it really _was _too much to ask.

* * *

And...back to job hunting.

Hope you enjoyed it! Feel free to review!

...DO IT. DOOOOOOO IT.

-Kelsey


	29. All in the Family

Alright, party people. Today is gonna be a crazy one. Why, exactly? Because, for the first time in SapphireStones history...today will be a quadruple update day.

...No. I am not shitting you.

See, my thing is that I write chapters out of order, and this is one I had a lot of difficulty with. The next three chapters AFTER this, however, have been 75-95 percent completed for weeks. I know. I'm horrible. I'm still going to re-read, proofread, all that good stuff, before I submit them however (even though I did that last night, but it was 3 am and I'm a perfectionist. So sue me). Uh, I always feel the need to warn people when there won't be funny, but I'll just leave that for you to decide. :P School starts Monday and if any of you know me, I don't update during the school seasons. Maybe once in a blue moon, but I usually write when I can and save it away for future use. And this semester's gonna be a killer, so yeah...

A shitload of freshmen arrived today, the fuckers. Therefore, they're closing everything early for festivities and whatnot and I don't get intranetz at tha crib till early September. That means I have until three to submit 4 chapters an it's 1:15. Can I do it? Let's hope so.

Anyways, *clears throat*: THANK YOU SO MUCH to secrets4theunderground (she had a Huey/Jazmine/? triangle story contest going on and I think today was the last day? Ya'll should check some of the entries out. They're _good_), ianneArt01, MissG2020, Shiori Yume, DarkPhoenixSaga, traban16, KrisB.723, Kirara2468, KingxLeon21, Goku's Daughter, JohnsonWifey89, Lachelle92, SoraxKairiislove, black rose97, The Ambrosian Rebel, Denise, Takeshi7117, MyWorldIsAnime, AngieT101, and MiZrEAlangel for the reviews! *nearly has a heart attack at all the names*. As usual, I really appreciate it and hopefully the multiple updates will make up for the long waiting. ;)

_How far along is Jazmine now cuz i kinda lost track and im job hunting too!  
_She is just under six months (I know this because I literally use a calendar to keep track of the days, so if you were to start from the beginning of the story (November 2009) to the present, the days/dates actually DO match up_. _I have a thing with dates. And good luck with the job hunting! :D

Andddd...let the updating begin.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

All in the Family

A commonly known fact about Huey Freeman and Jazmine Dubois was that they were as different as night and day. As cold and hot. As other…opposite…things…

You get the picture.

Of course once in awhile they, surprisingly, ran into quite a few similarities. For example, there was their shared love of video games (mainly _Rock Band_, which Huey destroyed Jazmine in and _Call of Duty_, which Jazmine schooled Huey in) and their mutual appreciation of subbed anime. There was the fact that they both liked Nas and couldn't stand Jay Z. There was the fact that the angrier they got the more vulgar their vocabularies became (Jazmine especially). There was even the fact that they were both ambidextrous.

As similar as they could be, however…their families were _nowhere _close to comparable.

It wasn't uncommon knowledge that neither Huey nor Jazmine's families liked the other person. There was Huey's family, which consisted of moochers, alcoholics, simply "ignorant niggas" as well as the best that the mental institution had to offer. Yeah, there was the occasional sane person who made being related to the other psychopaths a bit more bearable, but they were quickly overshadowed by the other "I just don't give a fuck" members of his and Riley's folks.

And then there was Jazmine's clan, which was so huge and diverse it would probably be impossible to meet every single relative of hers in their lifetimes. The majority of them were well spoken, well educated, respectful and well off. They had the occasional moron but even they were doing well enough on their own where they didn't bother anyone. To top it all off there were so many races involved that trying to identify a good half of them (mainly Sarah's half) would be like a guessing game. For Christ sake's, Jazmine's great-great grandmother, the oldest member in her family, was three quarters _Korean_. She had a half West Indies great-grandmother, a Russian cousin, and a Brazilian step-uncle. Jazmine herself was always mentioning how she was half black, a quarter French, partially Irish and part Hispanic along with an eighth of Samoan Indian and some other shit Huey didn't bother keeping up with…who _knew _all that?

Better yet…did _every _black man in Jazmine's family go around screaming "Where da white women at?" Because it seemed as if _no _couple was of the same race.

Being that there were many cultural as well as racial and class differences, there were many problems. The majority of Jazmine's family, save her immediate relatives and a couple others, couldn't stand Huey, who they saw as a conspiracy theorist (true), a domestic terrorist (_not_ true…he was on hiatus), and a man with a serious attitude problem who would probably be dead by thirty whether it be from the government, drugs, or one of the thousands of people he'd manage to piss off (as terrible as that sounded, all of it minus the drug part was also true). Even worse, they theorized among each other (and sometimes even in _front _of him): he'd probably land their precious Jazmine, who was obviously one of the favorites of all the cousins, nieces, nephews and grandchildren of the family, in prison. Even worse than _that_: in a body bag.

And Huey's family, _including _most of the immediate ones, despised Jazmine, who they saw as an uppity, ignorant elitist who thought she was better than everyone else and would do nothing but make Huey, who was basically the last hope for their family _not _to be labeled as a bunch of fuck ups, miserable. They mistook her careful politeness for a sense of superiority and determined when she was out of earshot (and sometimes _within _earshot) that she was a sneaky, no good wannabe white girl. And most of them hadn't even _met _her.

So, the fact that both families were expected to interact under the same roof without descending into complete chaos…it was nearly _laughable_. It was so unrealistic to expect everyone _not _to off each other that Huey had come up with a quick plan, the _only _logical plan to get him and Jazmine to safety…

"As…nice as this would have been back in the day before I turned into a mini beach ball," Jazmine whispered that evening, giving Huey an incredulous look. "How come we're in a _coat closet_?"

"Because," Huey mumbled from where he was peeking through a crack in the door, the loud noise of the ongoing baby shower barely muffled. "It's safer here. Trust me."

Jazmine frowned. "…But I'm claustrophobic…"

"You are _not_." Huey shot her a look. "We were stuck in an elevator on the _top floor _of the Sears tower for three hours and you were the one making origami figures using napkins, note cards and my history notes while singing that stupid Single Ladies song-"

"It's _not _stupid. If you like it you _should _put a ring on it. Don't get mad at me, I'm just the messenger," she added when he opened his mouth to complain. "And…well, I'm _closet_phobic then!" She whined, stomping her foot. "I want cake!"

He gave her a dark look. "Cake…is deadly."

"But it's shaped like a rattle! It even has strawberry frosting!" Jazmine pushed for the door, both of them shoving against each other. "Move out the way!"

"No! I'm not going _out _there-"

"Then move so _I _can get out!"

In truth it didn't _seem _like things were going too badly, but that was most likely because they hadn't run out of chicken wings, the music of choice was Young Jeezy (Riley was _such _a dumbass) and there was an open bar. Huey was pretty sure that the typical baby shower didn't involve excessive alcoholic beverages, but at the same time there was _nothing _typical about their families. Whatever kept the nutcases, er, his _family_, at bay was fine with him.

"Fine." Huey scooted over to the wall so that Jazmine could get in front of him. "But if you're assaulted with monologues about World War II, FEMA or the government's potential usage of _Furbys_, don't say I didn't warn you. Wait," he added as she put her hand on the doorknob. "If anyone, and I mean _anyone_, asks you about the Chicago Stock Exchange riot two blocks from LaSalle Street last year…I had nothing to do with it and I _definitely _didn't organize it. In fact, just say I wasn't there."

Jazmine made a face, completely lost. "…Wait, what?"

"Actually, it'll just be better if you pretend you have no idea what they're talking about…" Huey mumbled to himself. Jazmine's puzzled expression deepened.

"What _are _you talking about?"

"_Exactly_." He shrugged, smirking at Jazmine's confusion. "Don't worry about it. See ya."

"Aww, come on!" Jazmine rolled her eyes. "You're really going to let me go out there alone?"

"Um, you're the one everyone's here to see. Well." Huey's tone was thoughtful. "Not everyone. More like…your family. Because, no offense-"

"Yours hates me," Jazmine finished, frowning. She hated it when she wasn't liked. "It's not fair. I haven't seen anyone show as much hatred towards anyone since when I broke your Gang Starr CD and blamed it on Riley-"

"Wait, _you _broke my Gang Starr CD?"

"Uh…no?" Jazmine poked Huey, giggling nervously at his murderous expression before giving his arm a rough yank, sending him nearly flying out the door. She came out as well, pushing him further down the hallway. "Let's not dwell on the past, yadda yadda yeah, oh, look!" She beamed at his surly expression. "We're out the closet!"

He glared at her for a few more seconds and then he was rolling his eyes.

"Fine. What_ever_," he added grudgingly. Jazmine grinned, squeezing his cheeks and making kissy faces.

"You're such a _good boy_-"

"I'm gonna be a _homicidal boy _in a moment if you don't cut it out," he snapped; she abruptly dropped her hands, taking a giant step away from him and clasping her hands behind her back. "_Thank you_-"

"Is that Huey over there I see?" a loud male voice suddenly sounded, making him visibly cringe. Neither he nor Jazmine had time to react before he was suddenly being yanked into a large bear hug. "If it ain't my favorite afro wearin' cousin!"

"Ah, lookin' just the same as last time we seen him!" another woman cried, clapping her hands together and grinning. "Still got that hair, I see!"

"I look the same as I did when I was _ten_?" Huey managed, grunting; the woman pat his head, beaming. The man still wasn't letting him go. "_Ow_."

"Oh, he looks just like his grandma Edna-"

"Nope!" Another woman ambled over, squeezing his cheeks; he groaned. Jazmine's hands were pressed over her mouth to keep from laughing and he managed to shoot her an evil look, which only made her laugh harder. "He looks like his grandma Hannah. You know he always favored Alika's half of the fam anyway-"

"Now, I know wat you gonna ask yo cousin Jericho," the potbellied man who had nearly suffocated poor Huey said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "I know you lookin' fo that present and I woulda loved ta get somethin' for the newest edition to the family but-" His face took on a tortured expression. "You know how FEMA's been with my money..."

"Okay." Huey turned on his heel, starting past Jazmine. "Back to the closet for me-"

"Huey!" Jazmine stomped her foot. He stopped long enough to give her an exasperated look. "Okay, I know-"

"And _this _is the girly girl I've been hearing so much about from Robert!" The first woman who had accompanied Jericho came over, clapping her hands and giving her a glance over. "Oh, you such a cute little white girl!"

"Uh…half white-"

"And she's so _tall_!" the other woman added, shaking her head with genuine awe, which only served to annoy the mulatto. "Goodness! Huey's tall, _she's _tall…that baby's gonna be like a _giant_-"

"Praise Jesus!" the first woman cried out, making Jazmine blink. The next thing she knew she was being _pinched_.

"Ow!"

"Hmm. She must usually be a skinny one." The other woman shook her head, glancing past her to Huey, who had his hands over his face. "I thought I told you a long time ago to get a woman with some meat on her bones, boy?"

"Them kids never listen! Oh, but they learn in they special way, they learn! Hallelujah!"

"Jazmine!" The five people all glanced down the other end of the hallway towards Cindy, who was now striding towards her. Ever since everyone had began arriving she'd done a good job at melting into the background, most likely to (as Huey put it) observe the niggas in their natural habitat. That or she realized that a good majority of them wouldn't hesitate to snap her in half if they felt inclined to do so. "Me and Mr. Freeman and Riley ain't plan no baby shower for you to be _hiding _the whole damn time!" she barked, stopping in front of her. She noticed Jericho and grinned. "Oh, hey Jay Jay! Wut's good, playa?"

Huey smacked his palm across his eyes. Jazmine snorted. Jericho grinned.

"You know how us Freemans do!" he laughed, fist pumping her. Cindy frowned.

"Well, not really…but okay! Jazzy, bring yo _ass_!" She grabbed the girl's wrist, tugging her forward. "Besides, you gotta open your presents!"

Jazmine's eyes lit up. "_Presents_? Wait…Huey, _get away from the damn closet_!"

A loud, tired sigh came from behind them, Huey walking up a few moments later and looking like he wanted nothing more than to throw himself off the closest building (Jazmine's typical threat when she didn't get her way). Instead he shoved his hands in his pockets, mumbling about hormonal women on a warpath as the three of them set off for the rest of the shower, which seemed to be a lot more enthusiastic than he was. He couldn't help but notice, however, that Jazmine's family was sticking to one side and his to the other.

Well, segregation was _always _cute. Not.

"You, dey got some nice shit up in here, forreal!" one of Huey's other cousins, a dark skinned boy with dreads and a shifty look in his eyes, cackled to himself. He was eyeing a set of the McPhearson's crystal. Huey rolled his eyes as another one of his cousins let out a squeal.

"Is that _gourmet cheese_?"

Oh, god. Beside him, Jazmine was already gaping at the tall stack of presents in the corner, looking like a child on Christmas.

"Oh, my god." She tugged his sleeve, grinning. "I'm so excited!"

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"It'll be short lived."

Jazmine gave him a confused look.

"Huh?"

"Bout damn time ya'll got ya'll asses out here!" Robert grumbled, passing by with a plate of his own gourmet cheese and some hot wings.

"Mmhmm!" Yet another one of Huey's relatives, a woman wearing a bright green wig, shook her head. "Tryin' to pull the Houdini an go make baby number two, huh?"

"Uh-" Jazmine started before she was being tugged away by a relative of her own. She looked up, her face brightening.

"Uncle Nick!" she cheered happily, allowing him to give her a bear hug and ruffle her hair. Huey watched him. If his memory was correct (which, it nearly always was), Jazmine was currently hugging one of her mother's three brothers. If his memory was even more accurate…it was the youngest one.

And, if it _was _the youngest one, that meant he was in the presence of the only one of Sarah's siblings who _didn't _like him. Sure enough, when the blonde man released Jazmine, lifting his head and staring at him, his eyes cooled.

Oh, _joy_.

Jazmine's father had two sisters of his own, and both of them adored Huey. In fact, the only person on Tom's side of the family who hadn't liked him was his mother Ella, and she hadn't liked anyone. She was dead though, so he couldn't care less about her.

Sarah's side of the family was the exact opposite; give or take a few of them none of them could stand him. He happened to notice that it was mainly the richer ones who sneered at him with disgust.

Oh, and the ones who were _republican_.

"Watchu waitin' on, boy?" Robert suddenly said again, abruptly cutting in and shoving Huey towards the sofa; he practically fell on Riley, who from the looks of it had been trying to holla at one of Jazmine's Colombian cousins. She made a face and picked up her drink, walking away while Riley gave Huey a look of disgust.

"Uhh!" He scooted to the opposite end of the couch. "Nigga, you gay!"

"I _knew _it!" one of Jazmine's great-aunts shrieked, pointing. "Burn the witch! _Burn the witch_!"

Huey and Riley exchanged looks as Jazmine suddenly sat between them, shaking her head. She had a plate that held a huge chunk of cake, a series of lipstick marks on her cheek and forehead and a puzzled look on her face.

"I think one of your relatives implied that I was too fat."

Huey's eyebrows rose. The majority of the others were now assembling around, Cindy doing some sort of count with the gifts and Caesar looking over her shoulder. "What makes you think that?"

"Well." Jazmine sounded caught between anger and shock. "I'm getting my cake and was going to get a second slice for you, right? But then I was like "Why the heck would Huey want cake? Huey hates everything tasty!" So, I was putting the second slice back and this woman with a fedora just comes out of nowhere and goes "_good _decision"." On her other side Riley's cheeks puffed out from held in laughter. "And she insisted on talking about some girl you used to like when you spent the summer we were fourteen in Chicago named Cornbreesha-"

"Her name was not_ Cornbreesha_, that was just some hood ass name my cousin Carla made up; It was Corinne. I mean, _I have no idea what she's talking about_," Huey quickly added upon seeing the glower that fell over Jazmine's face. "Jazmine, I was _fourteen_. Really?"

"Here ya go!" Cindy cheerfully sang, dumping a series of wrapped gifts into Jazmine's lap. She picked one up, examining the paper while everyone else got quiet, obviously watching for their reactions to the presents. She read an attached card aloud.

""To Huey and…La puta"." Jazmine looked curious. "What's that mean?"

"It means-" Huey replied, snatching the card away and reading it before shooting another one of his relatives a glare, "-that Gabby and I are going to have a serious problem if she doesn't _calm the hell down with the insults_."

"Oh, just open it already!" the girl retorted, waving her hand in a casual way. Huey shook his head and took the slim package from Jazmine, tearing it open. He smoothed the paper away, holding up a thick sheet of paper and giving his cousin a bored look.

"A coupon to "Fat Joe and Stanky Banky's Chicken Shack…that expired three months ago." Huey rolled his eyes as Jazmine held in laughter. "_Thank you_, Gabriella-"

"Lookin' all ungrateful, I'll take dat shit!" Riley suddenly snatched it away, nodding and sticking it in his pocket. "Shit, I don' curr if it's expired. I'll make dat shit work-"

"Ooh!" Jazmine held up another gift she'd unwrapped. "The baby books _Buck Buck the Chicken _and _Mo and his Friends_!" She beamed. "Thanks, Aunt Lucille!"

"Don't worry 'bout it, honey," an older black woman called, waving her hand.

"Ooh." An impressed whistle came from the corner of the room and everyone's heads turned towards Huey's dreadhead cousin; he was holding a wad of wrapping paper in his hand, inspecting a large box. "They got ya'll niggas a _flat screen_?"

"Boy, why the hell are you openin' _my_, I mean, _their _presents?" Robert snapped from his spot not too far away from the couch, glaring. "Sit yo' kleptomaniac ass down somewhere!"

"A Shakira CD." Jazmine held up the case, a contemplative look on her face. "You know, I'm not a big Shakira-"

"I'll just…take that off your hands." Huey gingerly pried it from her fingers, tucking it inside his jacket pocket. Jazmine smirked.

"You like _Shakira_?"

"What? _No_!" When she gave him a knowing look he shrugged. "Well…"

Her knowing look deepened.

"Maybe I do, _okay_?"

"A bong." Riley had opened one of the boxes; he held it up, smirking. "Now _dis _is a good gift-"

"It's a baby shower, not a kush party!" Huey snapped, throwing up his hands. "Who gives you a bong at a _baby shower_?"

"You welcome, nigga!" a man snapped from the back of the room. Huey blinked, turning towards Jazmine.

"Uh...is he related to you?"

Jazmine slowly shook her head, giving him a look of her own. "I thought he was one of _your _family members..."

"Nigga, get outta here!" Huey snapped; the man jumped up, mumbling about niggas never wanting to share free food as he went out the front door.

"Why," Huey mumbled towards the ceiling, shaking his head. "Why am I never surrounded by_ normal _people?"

"Nigga, hush and open yo gifts!" Robert cut in, rolling his eyes.

At first, the gifts continued that way; they received a T-Pain CD (a gift that neither Huey, Jazmine, Riley or anyone else wanted), a package of steaks (which made Jazmine's day), a package of _Pork Chops _(which made Jazmine's _life _practically), and a "pimped out" stroller that involved Coogi seats, rims that spun even when it wasn't in motion, and, a present addressed to Jazmine that had the mulatto mortified beyond relief; a one year pole dancing class membership.

While Huey didn't think it was the _worst_ gift one could get, he didn't think it would be the best thing to say given the circumstances.

After that, however…the gifts got a lot more practical (which was probably only because they were all from Jazmine's family); they received the standard things that they'd actually need, such as diapers, a _real _stroller, baby clothes and bibs, some cups and plates...even Riley gave them a "free babysitting pass" ("Cuz ya'll niggas ain' gon have me watchin' ya'll kid all tha damn time"). Jazmine was especially ecstatic from the Babies R'Us gift card they received, a thick book on pregnancy and parenting (which Huey deemed useless, yet he kept a hold of it), and something neither one of them had been looking forward to buying: a crib.

Well. Maybe this _hadn't _been such a terrible idea.

The gift that had Jazmine the most excited and Huey the most suspicious, however, was a Prada diaper bag.

A _Prada _diaper bag.

…Huey didn't even know that the makers of Prada gave a shit about infants!

"This," Jazmine breathed, holding it as if it were the Holy Grail, "is _amazing_."

"Uh…yeah." Huey merely shrugged when she nearly thrust it in his face, her eyes wide.

"Do you know what this _is_?"

"Affirmative," Huey stated plainly, his eyebrow lifting. "That would be an overpriced diaper bag."

Jazmine rolled her eyes, shrugging. "So?"

"So? _So_?" Everyone else watched with interest as Huey rolled his own eyes, obviously preparing for one of his lectures. "Jazmine, it's getting excited over overpriced material items such as those that makes the supply-and-demand ratio-"

"It's just a _bag_," one of Jazmine's cousins, a girl with a lip ring and a scowl nearly as permanent as his, snapped. She tossed her hair over her shoulders. "Damn."

"S'cuse you, but wuz he talkin' to yo rat lookin' ass?" One of Huey's own cousins sat up, eyeing the other woman.

"Now, now." Tom, who had been a wallflower nearly the entire time (probably out of fear more than anything else), held up his hands and laughed nervously. "There's no need for such negativity-"

"Oh, so me having an opinion brings on the insult train." The girl didn't look intimidated; she merely glared towards Huey's cousin as if she weren't worth the time of day. "Then again, I wouldn't expect any civilized behavior from _your _kind-"

"WHOA!" Huey, Riley and Jazmine let out in unison, obviously knowing that he words had been the wrong ones; Huey's relatives all whirled around towards the girl, who was examining her nails as if this sort of thing was normal.

"Hold up, ya little uppity-"

"Oh, hell naw! No she did'n-"

"Hey hey hey, now!" Everyone quieted down as a too familiar (and extremely unwanted) figure stepped into the room, shaking his head and narrowing his good eye towards the room. Robert groaned.

"Goddammit, Ruckus!"

Huey sighed as well. He knew that the big idiot was about to make everything much worse. Sure enough, he pushed the sleeves of his salmon colored top up and gave one of his cousins a disgusted look.

"What makes ya'll baboons think ya'll good enough to talk to the precious white child that way?" he asked, making a series of whispers erupt. Jazmine's cousin made a face.

"I'm not white…I'm Colombian-"

"You's white, little missy! Now, s'cuse me-" Ruckus cleared his throat; Huey was covering his eyes with his hand. "Ima rebuke ya'll in the name of the white Jesus…hey…what are you cotton pickin' congo lip coons doin…ah! Save me!"

"Uh…" Riley stared along with Jazmine and Huey as the Freeman's relatives proceeded to pounce on Ruckus. A good half a dozen of them rolling around on the ground. Robert stood up, lifting his hands. "You think, like...we should help 'em?"

"Not my flatscreen!" Robert was shouting over the chaos. "_Not the flatscreen_!"

"You know," Huey said mildly, the other two glancing towards him. "I feel like I should do something to stop them."

Jazmine blinked. "But…"

"Eh." He leaned back, shaking his head. "They'll work it out."

"They'll kill each other!"

"I said they'd work it out." He glanced at her, snorting. "I didn't say _you'd _like the ending solution."

"Okay, okay, hey!" Jazmine stood up, waving her hands. "You _guys_!"

"I can't feel my legs! I can't feel my _legs_!" Ruckus' strangled voice was barely audible over the rest of the yelling. "I hope _all you niggas _get the electric chair-"

"EVERYBODY CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" Jazmine suddenly roared; everyone froze. Even Huey and Riley were blinking up at her, varying degrees of horror on their faces. "I mean, damn!" Everyone else turned towards her. "What is _wrong _with you guys? All the fighting really isn't necessary!"

"You comments ain't necessary either, white girl!" a guy sitting beside Jericho snapped. Huey's gaze flickered towards him.

"Excuse me," he asked coolly, his eyes narrowing, "but would you like to leave here in a _body bag_?"

"You're not _helping_," Jazmine hissed towards him. His cousin Gabby sat up.

"Wow, cuzzo. Way to side with the money bags family over there-"

"What did she call us?"

"_Hey_!"

"Well, shit." One of Jazmine's aunts took a sip of her beer, snorting. "I ain't mad. Hell _yeah _I'm rich. Homegirl ain't neva lied."

"Who _cares_?" Everyone looked towards Jazmine again. "Who cares who has money and who doesn't, or who has an accent and who doesn't, or any of that? It doesn't matter where any of us are from! None of that changes the fact that as human beings we're all supposed to respect each other!"

"Yea!" Riley agreed. "Wat she said!"

"Who asked you, you hood acting-" Jazmine's cousin started, giving Riley a look of disdain before she was being cut off by an indignant Jazmine.

"And you're_ not_ gonna talk to him any kind of way." The majority of Huey and Riley's relatives gave her surprised looks, a few of Jazmine's family giving them to her as well. "I don't care _who _you are. He's like my family too and if you can't appreciate that then it's not my damn problem. Got it?"

"Lawdy!" a wail came from the floor; everyone glanced towards Ruckus, who was still lying face down on the carpet. "Jazmine dun got round da coons an turned her back against her own people. Why, Jazmine? WHY?"

"Ruckus, shut the hell up!" Robert snapped, waving his hand and adjusting his glasses. "The girl's right. Ya'll actin' like a bunch of damn fools. This the reason the white folk think we crazy as hell now!"

"I don't think you're crazy as hell." The Colombian girl shrugged, her chin in her hand. "I just knew ya'll didn't like me so I won't gonna like ya'll." She straightened, shrugging. "I mean, I ain't got nothin' against ya'll for real. And I like your hair," she added, looking at Jericho's daughter, who was the one wearing a bright green wig. She fluffed it, grinning.

"Ooh, forreal gurl? Dis old thing?"

"I don't dislike you all," Jazmine's uncle Nick said, sitting up and cleaning his glasses with the hem of his shirt. "I just worry about her wellbeing and how _that one_-" He glared towards Huey, who glared back, "-affects it."

"Whateva, playa!" Gabby sucked her teeth. "He's the best thing that's happened to yo uppity ass cousin or niece or whatever the hell she is to you. She's _lucky _he'd settle for her!"

"_Settle_?" Jazmine echoed, sounding as if she were resisting the urge to stomp up to the girl and choke her. She probably _was_. "Okay, hold up-"

"Settle my ass!" Jazmine's cousin was speaking again. "He's lucky she gives him the time of _day_!"

"Wow! I wish I was lucky enough _not _to be discussed as if I'm not sitting here!" Huey interrupted, rolling his eyes and giving them all a dark look. "Oh, _wait_."

"Huey-"

"Should've stayed in the _closet_."

Jazmine rolled her eyes, sitting back down beside him and patting his arm. "It's okay."

"Okay." For the first time since the entire ordeal had started Huey's Aunt Cookie spoke up, holding up a hand. She glanced towards Jazmine's family, her hands neatly folded in her lap. "What is it exactly that you don't like about my nephew?" When the good twenty or so people exchanged nervous glances she gave them a small smile. "Don't hold back, now."

"_This _should be good," Huey mumbled sarcastically. Jazmine shook her head as her uncle cleared his throat.

"He's a domestic _terrorist_, for god's sakes!"

"Um, I'm on temporary leave!" Huey replied before being elbowed by Jazmine. Aunt Cookie held up her hand, nodding towards the man again.

"Go on."

"And I mean, if he wants to be a terrorist or on the FBI's most wanted list that's fine." His eyes narrowed. "But that sort of thing could come back to hurt my niece. And that's when we have our problem."

Aunt Cookie nodded quietly, glancing towards her own family.

"And, what exactly is it that none of you like about Jazmine?"

"Ooh-" one of them began, cracking his knuckles, but the girl in the green wig spoke up.

"Man, I just don' like how she be walkin' round like she own tha world or whatever, nameen?" She popped her gum, leaning on the back of Gabby's chair. "An she be actin' like she think she betta than us an like…I mean, if her uppity ass gon be all uppity why can' she go get some otha' uppity nigga ta be uppity _with_? Why she gotta take our own, son? Nameen?" A few others nodded in agreement. Jazmine frowned.

"That's not true..." she mumbled softly, staring at the floor. Aunt Cookie smirked, pressing her fingertips together.

"Now let me tell you one thing." She gazed back to the side of the room where Jazmine's family sat, giving them a reassuring smile. "I can understand your concerns. After all, the majority of you aren't used to dealing with individuals with radical views, especially not one who comes from a family of lower class-"

"Who you callin lower class?" Jericho shouted.

"Nigga, hush! Most us niggas _are _lower class!" Robert snapped. Aunt Cookie rolled her eyes before going on.

"-and when you're faced with something you don't understand, or in this case _someone_, it scares you." She looked towards her own family. "And as for us…well, I can see your worry as well. We're a family who's had to struggle for ours. And she's from a background of entitlement. Even if she does have family who had to sacrifice for what they have, she's never had to know firsthand how difficult it can be and what it means to overcome adversity. But it doesn't make her a bad person. It may make her naïve, but it doesn't mean she just expected to try him out and then drop him back on the shelf." She sighed. "We're all so different, and transcending those contrasts is difficult." She gestured to Huey and Jazmine, who exchanged confused looks. "But they do it. Every day. So if they can overcome their differences, why can't we?"

The room fell into a thoughtful silence. Cindy, who had merely stood by the wall with Caesar and Sarah the entire time, sniffed.

"That was so beautiful!" she choked, dabbing at the corner of her eye with Caesar's sleeve. He rolled his eyes. The girl with the green hair stepped forward, smiling at the Colombian woman.

"She right. She always right." She held out a hand. "We cool, girl?"

The woman stood up as well, slowly walking over. She looked down at the girl's hand, then up to her face. Instead of holding out her own hand she held up her arms.

"We cool."

They hugged. The room erupted into "Awws" and clapping.

"Oh, this is just beautiful!" the woman from earlier cried, clasping her hands together and holding them towards the sky. "Praise Jesus!"

"If only FEMA understood_ our_ differences and sent me my check…"

"So like, dey got anymo' hotwings up in hurr?"

"You know," Jazmine said, smiling as everyone began talking and interacting as if they'd been friends for years. "This turned out better than I thought it would."

"Well, at least no one's dead," Huey reluctantly agreed. Riley made a face, squinting towards the center of the floor.

"Uh…should somebody like, get Ruckus off da floor?"

"Probably." Huey picked up his drink. "But we won't."

"Sounds good to me." Jazmine held up her own drink, Riley doing the same. "To being different!"

"Ta getting' free shit!" Riley added. Huey sighed, holding up his own cup.

"To transcendence." He paused, making a face. "Oh. And the fact that maybe we can attend family functions without all the death threats."

"PRAISE JESUS!" a sudden yell came from near them, causing them all to flinch. "Ah, the prince of peace! Our provider!"

"And…a toast to to atheism." Huey rolled his eyes, giving Jazmine a look. "I just…had to add that."

She shrugged. "And here's to not really caring either way at this point."

"To not givin' a fuck!" Riley finished. Huey and Jazmine nodded in agreement, smiling at each other.

"That's a good one." All of them tapped their cups together, drinking and watching the rest of their harmonizing relatives begin to dance around the place. It was as if tall or short, big or small, boy or girl, it no longer mattered, which was the way it was supposed to be. Jazmine rested her head on Huey's shoulder.

"A very good one."

* * *

BAWWWWWWW.

...I'm done. Haha.

Thanks for reading? Thoughts? Comments? YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO!

-Kelsey


	30. Heart to Heart

Update number two.

No reviews, and I sure as hell didn't expect any so soon. :P

Uh, enjoy!

(Short, right?)

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Heart to Heart

_'When the flow is turbulent, particles exhibit additional transverse motion which enhances the rate of energy and momentum exchange between them, thus increasing the heat transfer and the friction coefficient.'_

What. The. Hell.

Jazmine shook her head, attempting to make sense of the words.

_'Assume_ _for a two-dimensional turbulent flow that one was able to locate a specific point in the fluid and measure the actual velocity of every particle that passed through that point at any given time-'_

This.

_'-then one would find the actual velocity fluctuating about a mean value and similarly for temperature and pressure-'_

Wasn't.

_'-where the primed quantities denote fluctuations superposed to the mean.'_

Working.

At all.

What had possessed her to bring _homework _along for spring break?

Jazmine slammed her physics book shut, burying her head in her hands and letting out a frustrated groan. She was aggravated and achy and grumpy and worst of all…

She didn't think she could do this.

It was a horrible, horrible realization. It was admitting the very words that the little voice in the back of her head whispered when she was doing too much thinking, enough to make her want to burst into tears and never leave her room again. But for the life of her she could not see herself doing school _and _having a kid. By the time she was done working and doing whatever else she barely felt like _thinking _about school. And when she bothered, the material that once came so effortlessly just jumbled together until she didn't even care anymore. She'd always loved school. This wasn't like her at _all_.

Then again, it also wasn't like her to get pregnant before twenty five. She'd had her life mapped out. _Literally_. She'd written to-do lists. She'd printed it and saved it in a folder! She was supposed to graduate, go to med school, complete her residency and she was supposed to _make _something of _her_ life! Not make_ another_ life to worry about!

If Huey seriously thought he was the only one sacrificing something, he had some serious issues.

She couldn't just drop out of school, though. No way. Jazmine slumped in her desk chair, sighing and staring out the window. She'd be so disappointed with herself. Her _parents _would be heartbroken. They'd _always _pushed her to get an education. Her dad had her studying for the SAT's when she was in eighth grade. She was probably the only person in her high school's history who had been short of getting a perfect score by three questions! For her to just drop out…just thinking the words _drop out _made her eyes fill.

Okay. Maybe…maybe she could start off by dropping a class. She was at eighteen credit hours, an amount that she'd had to get approved by a dean in the first place. If she dropped a class…she'd be down to fifteen. Fifteen would be a lot better than eighteen. And if focusing was still a problem or if it just felt like too much…well, she'd go from there.

She couldn't do this. She felt as if her brain would erupt if she thought about the subject anymore, so instead of giving into despair she ventured down the stairs, deciding to do the only thing that would cheer her up at this point:

Raid the refrigerator.

Jazmine hummed to herself a good twenty minutes later as she plopped down in front of the TV, her "feast" spread out on the coffee table in front of her. She couldn't help it; she _loved _food! She appreciated it more than the average food lover. She not only saw it as something human beings needed to function, but she also respected it as an art form. Dumping some Spam on a slice of bread was for survival. But her nachos topped with barbeque sauce?

_That _was a true work of art. She'd even made a smiley face with the sour cream!

It was such a masterpiece that she finally got over her academic anxiety and became fully involved in munching contently while watching _Jersey Shore _reruns (a luxury she never got back in Chicago since Huey always insisted on arguing about the evils of that show and MTV in general), which meant she was too busy to notice the front door opening until she heard a familiar voice.

"Do I smell _barbeque sauce_?"

Jazmine leaned over to see into the foyer, where Robert Freeman was shutting the door. She swallowed heavily, giving him a funny look.

"Hi, Mr. Freeman." She paused. "What are you doing here?"

"Well hello to you too, little cutie pie." Robert sauntered into the room, stopping when he saw the table that was weighed down with food. "What the hell is all that?"

"Uh…" Jazmine, who had shoved another mouthful of food into her mouth, shrugged. "Nachos?"

"Then what's _that_?" He pointed to another dish on the table. She swallowed.

"Chitlins and applesauce?"

Robert blinked at her.

"If Huey asks, it's a salad."

"Like nobody got anything better to do than talk to that boy about what you eat. Shoot." Mr. Freeman took it upon himself to flop down on the couch beside her, slouching back and sighing. "Whew! Nothin' better to an old man than sitting."

"Uh…okay." Jazmine stopped chewing, her cheeks stuffed. "Well, daddy's at work and mom's-"

"I ain't come over here looking for them!" Robert waved his hand. "I came to check on you."

Jazmine tipped her head to the side, examining him. "_Me_?" She couldn't help it, really. While Mr. Freeman had always been nice to her (well, when she wasn't plucking his nerves along with his grandsons and Caesar) it wasn't as if they sat down and had heartfelt chats or anything. The closest they'd come to that was when Jazmine made him a ham sandwich after he twisted his ankle. So the fact that he'd come by just to see her?

"That's really sweet, Mr. Freeman-"

"_Please_." He snorted, causing her face to fall. "Huey's ass told me to." He shuddered. "But it's better than what he's doing right now."

Jazmine frowned. "Oh." Then, she made a face. "Wait, what's he doing?"

"Well _first_," Robert said, ticking off tasks with his fingers. "He's fixing the second floor toilet since him and Riley's asses fucked it up fightin' and tryin' to drown each other all damn night last night. _Then _he's driving Riley's ass to the emergency room since he's walking around acting all hurt and dazed just because he knocked his head upside the bathtub when Huey tackled him-"

"Oh, my god!" Jazmine's eyes were wide. "Shouldn't he have gone last _night_?"

"The only place _anyone _would have been going if they would've woke me up for that bullshit last night would've been a morgue, cause I would've killed 'em! I'm old! I ain't got time for all that!"

"But…Riley could be-"

"Jazmine, they're _boys_." Robert shook his head. "What doesn't kill them makes them stronger. And what doesn't involve any medical bills that require money makes me richer." Ignoring Jazmine's shocked face he continued. "Anyways, after that he's going to pick up my foot powder and get my laundry cause I sure as hell ain't doin' it! Mmm mmm." He shook his head darkly. "They be getting' _way _too comfy in my house! When they left it was the best day of my life! I ain't putting up with them wantin' to mess up everything when I got it the way I want it and wanting to watch all my TV…I'd _love _to watch some TV sometimes but don't nobody let _me _do what I want to do!"

Oh, god. Jazmine couldn't help but roll her eyes. She had a feeling that he was about to go off on one of his lectures. Sure enough…

"And then Huey's ass is forever watching those _Documentaries _and Riley keeps it stuck on BET…"

Geez. Didn't Huey and Riley's granddad ever talk about _normal _things?

"…Winding up finding some damn pornography on TiVo…how the _hell _do you TiVo that?"

This conversation was taking a very awkward turn.

"…Now watch me _yoooooooooooou_, talkin' about Crank Dat Soulja Boy, Crank Dat Homeless Man, Crank Dat Batman…Crank Dat Spongebob? Since when does _Spongebob _know Soulja Boy? I ain't never seen them niggas meet!"

"Um…Mr. Freeman?" When Robert stopped talking long enough to glance towards the confused woman she winced. "_Huh_?"

"Nothing, nothing. Forget it." Robert waved his hand, sighing and straightening his glasses. Jazmine rested her hands on her knees, trying to think of something to break the silence.

"Well, thanks for stopping by." She offered him a smile. "Really."

"It's no problem, cutie pie." Robert pat her shoulder, sighing again and shaking his head. "Mmm hmm."

Jazmine gave him another smile before turning back towards the television set. Mr. Freeman was probably one of the only people she didn't feel obligated to keep a conversation with since half the time he didn't want to be bothered anyways. That was fine with her.

"So, how are you _really_?"

"Really?" Jazmine looked at him. "I'm fine."

"Mmhmm." Robert eyed her, as if he knew she was withholding information. "School goin' alright?"

"Well…" Jazmine started to give him the standard "it's going good" that everyone got upon asking her about her studies, but something stopped her. Instead, she glanced down at her knees.

"It's…not going as well as I like." When he didn't interrupt her, to her surprise, she went on. "It's just…I knew it wouldn't be as easy as before, but it's just…" Hating how whiny she sounded she settled on clamping her mouth shut. The last thing Mr. Freeman wanted was to hear her ramble on about her lame problems. Robert nodded, his eyes behind his glasses narrowed…

…Only, instead of harboring disappointment, they held understanding.

"Then why don't you just withdrawal from a couple of your little classes?" Her eyes widened. She'd been considering that, but when it was said aloud it sounded so _horrible._ "Couldn't you be one of those part time students?"

"My parents would hate that." She cringed at the look he gave her. "And if I do that I'll graduate late and-"

"_So_?" He snorted. "Better late than never."

He _did _have a point. "I know." She slouched uncomfortably, setting her plate down and frowning. "But my parents would be really upset."

"Well, it ain't exactly about your parents now, is it?" Robert asked, smiling down at her. She blinked. "It's about _you, _Jazmine. You have to go your own way. If you feel like something's not right then it's up to you to want to change it. Not anyone else."

"I know." She bowed her head, hating how she could already feel a knot of emotion building at the back of her throat. "But I'd be upset with myself more than anything."

For a moment there was nothing filling the silence but the television. After a few seconds of that Robert chuckled to himself, causing her to lift her head again.

"Now look here, baby girl." He pat her hand, causing her eyebrows to lift in surprise. "You've never let anyone tell you when you could or couldn't do something before. You've always made your own decisions, and that's something to be proud of. You'd be surprised at how many idiots can't do that for themselves. You've done alright up till now, so why listen to what others want you to do at this point?" When she didn't say anything he shifted, adjusting himself and clearing his throat before going on. "Now, like I said before, Huey and Riley's grandmother was your age when she became pregnant, and boyyy was everybody mad! Shoot, her family was demanding she get an abortion even though they were _much _harder to come by, they were all hollering that she was ruining her life, threatening to throw her down the stairs, all these terrible, terrible things!" He looked at her. "And do you know what she did?"

Jazmine slowly shook her head.

"She told 'em all to go to hell." He smirked at her befuddled expression. "What I'm trying to say, cutie pie, is that she knew that everything happened for a reason and she felt that the right thing to do would be to keep her baby, and that was exactly what she did. And if she would've listened to them then we never would've had our son, Huey and Riley wouldn't be here…everything would be all fucked up and really, who has time for that?" He sighed, shaking his head. "I sure do miss Edna. Mmhmm. Never met another woman like her…"

Jazmine couldn't help but feel bad. Other than a few dates and the occasional girlfriend who later turned out to be insane, she never remembered Mr. Freeman having anyone. Not to mention his only son was dead. It _had _to get lonely.

"I'm sorry." When Robert gave her a questioning look she shrugged. "It just felt like the right thing to say."

"Mmm." He waved his hand. "It was a long time ago. The more time you have, the easier it gets."

"Well…what was your son like?" Suddenly _Jersey Shore _wasn't all that interesting. Not like Mr. Freeman's stories. He looked genuinely surprised.

"Well, let's see." He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "He was quiet. He didn't give us much grief as a child, not like Huey and Riley's bad asses. Always fighting in school and getting detention and attracting the _FBI_…he ain't do none of that! He was shy and he went to school to be a social worker…he liked helping people. That was his thing. He was very up to date with politics and current events, he knew how the world worked…but he never stopped caring for people, even when no one seemed to care for each other. I don't know where he got it from cause the rest of us sure ain't give a damn! No sir. We could barely afford to help ourselves!"

No_ wonder_ Huey got so annoyed when she went on tangents.

"But he had a good heart. And he got married…" Robert shook his head. "Now, you think Huey's bad? His and Riley's mother was worse. Much worse."

A worse version of Huey was a very frightening thing to think about. "Uh…" Jazmine winced. "Worse _how_?"

Robert laughed, even thought there was a dark undertone to it. "That woman walked into a _room _and you'd think the thermostat broke." Robert shook his head again. "She was one of the coldest people I've ever met. Had an attitude like nobody's business, extremely proud and high strung…she was a hard woman to make happy, and she was tough. She ain't give _nobody _a break. Now me and her, we ain't see eye to eye on much but for whatever reason she made my son happy so she was tolerable. Now she Huey…oh no. You couldn't_ pay_ them to stay in the same room for longer than ten minutes."

Huey and his mother didn't get along? "_Really_?"

"Whoo, they fought _all _the damn time!" Robert shook his head. "He was always comin' over me or Cookie's house, talkin' bout some if I wouldn't let him spend the night he'd sleep in the damn park. He was the only five year old boy I knew that would get on the metro at eleven at night, transfer onto a bus, walk six blocks to my house, and holler about some he and his mother were arguing over Marxism and that she wouldn't admit that there were positive aspects to it."

Jazmine couldn't help but roll her eyes. Even at the tender age of five he'd been a damn nerd.

"And what did you do?"

"Pssh." Robert rolled his eyes. "Put his smart butt back on that bus so that he could ride the subway back home and get that ass to' up!"

Such fond childhood memories.

"Well how come he and his mom didn't get along?" Jazmine asked. Robert snorted.

"Because they were too much alike." His tone softened. "I don't think she knew how to deal with having a child like him. He really _won't _like other children, so I don't think _anyone _knew how to deal with him. She and Riley, now they were close. It seemed like the sun rose and set on that boy to her. Huey and my son, they were closer than his mother, but they were different. Like I said, my son was a very compassionate person and I don't think Huey understood why since he was so attuned to seeing the bad in everyone and everything. I don't think his relationship with his mother helped too much either."

Jazmine nodded. That made sense. Both of them fell into silence again and she picked up her plate, holding it out to him.

"Anchovies and peanut butter sandwich?"

"You know, I think I'll pass." Robert gave a disgusted look at the sandwich, watching Jazmine shrug in a _suit yourself _sort of way and take a huge bite. He glanced at the TV.

"Now, I know you have some stories about your own relatives."

Jazmine smirked, setting down her plate again and swallowing her food.

"Not really." She shrugged. "I mean, I was close to my mom's mom. I wasn't that close to my dad's mom though…I don't think she was close to anyone." She sucked a smear of peanut butter off her thumb, going on. "I know my mom's mom, I called her Grammy. She died when I was twelve. She'd been sick for awhile though so everyone had seen it coming." She frowned. "I never really got to say goodbye though. She still lived in Boston and by the time we got the call that she wasn't going to live much longer and we went there…well, she was already gone." She hoped she wouldn't start crying. How embarrassing would _that _be? Robert nodded.

"My son, he died in a car accident. It was worse because Edna had died the same way, so it was like remembering her death all over again." She blinked. "It didn't really sink in with Riley at first; he knew they were gone but he was too young for it to really hit him. Hell, it barely sank in with _me. _Huey didn't really react much to it, but I think he always felt bad about him and his mother. They'd gotten into another argument before she left the house, so I don't think that sat too well with him."

Jazmine felt tears well in her eyes. It was all so sad! How the heck had they even gotten on that topic?

"I know Huey wanted me to come and see how you were, but I was planning on talking to you anyway since you're all leaving tomorrow," Robert went on, his own eyes suspiciously misty. She nodded. "I know that everything can start getting overwhelming and that it may be hard to see how you can manage it all, but everything does happen for a reason." He smiled. "Sometimes what occurs as a mistake can be the best thing that happens to you. So, remember that."

She swallowed; her throat was dry. "Okay."

"It's funny how things work out." He pat her knee, yawning. "Isn't it?"

"Uh, Mr. Freeman?" When he glanced at her she made a face. "This is gonna be a weird question, but…well, from the way you make it sound, I'm pretty much everything that Huey hates in a person."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Hmm. Yeah. You _are_, aren't you?"

Well _that _was reassuring. "So, if that's true…then how come we ended up together in the _first _place?"

"Well, Jazmine." Grandad wrapped an arm around her shoulders, choosing his words carefully. "Nothing's ever in black and white. There's exceptions. And sometimes, it just doesn't make sense no matter how you look at it and it's better to not even try." When Jazmine nodded he sighed. "Lord knows I don't know what _you _see in that boy, but maybe he sees something in you that no one else does."

What could _that _be? Jazmine's face scrunched up as she tried to think of possible explanations. After a few seconds she shook her head, shrugging.

"Whatever decisions you make are the right ones if they make you happy." Jazmine rested her head on Robert's shoulder, looking up at him and curling her feet underneath her. "They may not seem right to those around you, but no one knows you better than yourself. It's not always about where you're going to wind up, but about where you're at."

Wow. Mr. Freeman could say some pretty smart things when he felt inclined.

"And," he added, sounding completely sincere. "If you ever _do _need anyone to talk to or remind you that they're on your side, you can just call ol' Grandad." He gave her shoulder a squeeze. "I know we're not the closest. But…I really do consider you to be like one of my grandchildren as well."

Jazmine sniffed, hugging him and trying her best to hold in her tears, failing miserably.

"T-thank you, Mr. F-Freeman-"

"Well, until you start with that cryin' mess." Robert shook her off, making a face. "Then you're just annoying as the rest of 'em."

Jazmine laughed, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"Do you really believe it?" Robert looked at her. "That I'll be okay?"

He studied her face, and then he nodded.

"Some people just aren't made to be strong enough to handle change." He shrugged. "And to some people, change is all they know. The rest though, they don't know just how strong they are until they don't have a choice _but _to be strong." He adjusted his glasses. "I think that you expect too much of yourself and underestimate yourself at the same time. Before it's all over though, you'll see just how much you really can handle. You might surprise yourself."

Both of them leaned back into the sofa, their gazes falling on the TV. Jazmine swallowed.

"I'm gonna miss you, Mr. Freeman."

"You'll see me again before you know it." He picked up the remote, shaking his head. "What the _hell _is a Bookie or Pookie or Dookie-"

"_Snooki_."

"Mmm." Robert shuddered, turning the channel. "That person…girl…_thing_ could make you go blind!"

Jazmine rested her head on his shoulder again, closing her eyes.

"_Nigga, I ain' scurred of you!"_

Jazmine's eye cracked open. She could hear shouting from outside on her front lawn, shouting that was only growing louder and louder with each word.

"_You standin' thur lookin all mad…watchu gon do, Huey? Watchu gon do, yo bitchmade ass!"_

"For that baby's sake," Robert mumbled, shaking his head and turning the channel. "I hope it don't take after them. I don't know _who _it should be like," he added, "but definitely not those big dummies."

"_Riley, don't make me get yo stupid ass readmitted."_

_"Nigga, please…wait…nigga, watchu doin-" _There was a moment of silence, and then a loud, almost feminine-like shriek that made both Robert and Jazmine jump. _"Huey! Huey, quit playin nigga…help! Murder! Dis bitch tryna kill me!"_

"You hear anything?" Robert asked, holding up the remote and turning up the volume as loud as it would go. Jazmine shook her head, trying not to laugh.

"Nope." Both of them continued to watch the TV, completely ignoring the screaming that came from the front yard. "Not a sound."

* * *

Too...much...sappy. AHHHHH!

Thanks for reading!

-Kelsey


	31. Responsiblity

Update threeeee.

Depending on how fast I glance this over, update four might have to go up tomorrow. Gonna try to make it fast as possible. Lol.

Um, because I've been receiving a lot of messages pertaining to my other stories and this is the most read one by far, I'm going to give a quick update on them here: The Haunting (oh, my god. So many people are ready to kill my ass over that one. Lol). Okay. The last chapter is done. The chapter _before _the last chapter is done. There's two or three chapters that need to come before those, and this next one's kicking my ass. I could honestly submit _something_, but I wouldn't be happy with it and I refuse to put up an ending result I don't think is the best of my ability. So, yeah. I haven't forgotten about it though.

All Roads Lead to Washington. The chapter's literally like, eighty percent complete. I really have no good reason for _not _updating that one, except that something seems off about it and I want to clean it up first. Also, it hasn't been forgotten about.

Just Listen. That one is probably tied for my favorite story that I'm doing (this one being the other one) so if anything's going to be updated while I'm in school, it'll be that one. However, of all the stories I have that one takes the most energy and is the most..._heavy_, so I usually have to be in some type of mood to get into it. Those of you who read it know what I'm talking about.

Any more questions, feel free to message me I guess. I told you all I have a facebook but someone messaged me, all mad because they sent a request and I didn't add them. I'll ADD you, just tell me who you are so I don't think you're a creeper for goodness sakes. Okay?

Right. Done.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Responsibility

She decided before she did anything else that maybe, just maybe, she should get her mail out the vegetable crisper.

Alright, so it was an odd habit, such an odd habit that Huey didn't even bother calling Jazmine out for it anymore. Like many of her other "quirks" he chose to ignore it, even if it had taken a while to do so. He wasn't good at picking and choosing battles, he liked to fight them all; she herself just liked to let them go. Who needed to get in a fight about who left the closet light on or the faucet dripping? Dang, the point was just to turn them both off and it would be the end of it.

Fortunately, he finally saw it the same way.

Well, that or he just got sick of giving a crap and ignored it. She highly suspected it was the second one.

So when Jazmine realized she hadn't seen the cell phone bill yet she headed for the refrigerator, pulling on the door and crouching down so that she could open the vegetable crisper. The only reason she even kept it there was because she lost it any other place she put it.

Huey called her irresponsible. She called it being creative.

Besides she didn't care about vegetables, so tossing it amongst Huey's zucchini and cucumbers and whatever other _crap _he had seemed alright. She shut the refrigerator door, flipping through the stack of mail and humming to herself. She was so lazy that she hadn't even opened any of it. It was mostly junk but she considered even junk to be valuable so she'd saved it. God, some of this stuff was from a _month _ago.

Blah blah credit card company advertisement, blah blah letter from school's financial aid department (probably to tell her _once again _that her parents had made too much money for her to get jack shit), fire department donation form, _Have You Seen this Missing Child?_, letter warning that her _Cosmopolitan _subscription was running out…why did she never get any _interesting _mail? Jazmine sighed, getting ready to toss the stack aside when she came across an envelope from the CVS down the street. Her eyebrows drew together in confusion.

CVS? What did they want with her? She gently tore the envelope open, unfolding the sheet of paper that was inside and allowing her eyes to scan the print. After a few seconds she shook her head, balling it up and tossing it in the trash.

She'd completely forgotten that she used to get her birth control filled there. They usually sent her letters near the end of the month when it came around the time to get a refill, not that she ever needed the reminder. Even if she was, according to Huey, "a complete scatterbrain", she never played around with her birth control. She'd been put on it when she was sixteen when it was determined her body hated her. Really, it did! Her periods were irregular and when they came, she literally had to miss school for how severe they were. While the missing school part hadn't bothered her (really, did missing school bother _anyone_?) the whole fevers and throwing up and deathly painful cramps thing wasn't working, so yeah.

Wasn't like she needed it now though, was it? Since she still hadn't seen the cell phone bill she just tossed it all aside, going back into their room and yawning. She turned on the radio, heading to their closet to find something to do. When she realized that the laundry basket was nearly overflowing she grinned, pulling it out and tossing it all into piles to sort it. It seemed as if she just couldn't stay still; she had to be doing _something, _which was why she was going to doing the laundry despite it being Huey's turn.

Well that and the fact that she was probably wearing his clothes more than _he _was. Therefore, she figured the least she could do was wash them.

If it weren't for those reasons, she never would have found it. In fact, it probably never would have even been _found_. Or if it was it would have been discovered by Huey, who would have figured she no longer had use for it and thrown it away. Then, she never would have had to deal with any sort of unwanted dilemmas.

Sadly, that wasn't the case. She'd continued tossing clothes out of the dirty clothes basket onto the floor, singing along to the radio, when some black pouch fell out of the pocket of Huey's jeans she was holding. She picked it up, examining it and making a face.

Speaking _of, _it was her birth control pills! Not that she needed it or anything, but…why the heck were they in his pocket? She shrugged, dropping the pants and heading for the bathroom. Ever since she'd watched some program about the hormones from improperly discarded estrogen pills getting into the groundwater supply and messing stuff up she tried to be conscious of that sort of thing. Only, she was too damn lazy to worry about getting rid of them properly so she opened the cabinet, planning on chucking them in there. Only for some reason she opened the pouch, peeking inside. The nearly full pack stared back at her. She snorted, tossing it inside and closing the door. She yawned again as she started back for their room, then froze.

Wait a minute…

She backtracked into the bathroom, opening the cabinet and grabbing the pack again. She pulled out the packet, examining it with raised eyebrows.

She may have had a shitty memory, but one thing she'd always kept up with was numbers. Hey, she was a math major so it was a pretty convenient thing. It made it much easier for her to spot numerical patterns or sequences than the average person. She was a complete dumbass when it came to spelling or grammar, but she could explain every formula one needed to know in Calculus like it was no one's business. That was why it was so odd that a red flag was going off in her head from spotting the pack of pills. After all, she'd never missed one.

Ever.

She'd stopped taking the pill the day she found out she was pregnant in the first place, which had been November ninth, the date so easily remembered since it was exactly two months after she'd turned twenty. And according to her calculations the last day she took her pill should have been, coincidentally, the end of the first row.

But for some reason there was one pill left.

She frowned, flopping down on the floor and lying back against the cabinet. Her eyes narrowed in concentration as she tried to backtrack. The last time she'd gotten it filled was November third, the time before that October first. She'd gotten it filled the time before _that _on the fourth of September. She didn't know why this was suddenly so important to her since it obviously didn't matter now, but she was so sure she should have had more missing than she did-

Wait. She froze, her eyes widening.

If her math was right, which face it, it _was_, that meant one of those dates was _wrong_. She always got it filled on day twenty eight just because she was a procrastinator _and _it was easier to remember that way. And the days between September fourth and October first would add up to twenty nine…

Which would have to mean she'd missed a day.

But that was _impossible_! Jazmine shook her head, massaging her temples. There was no way she'd miss one! Even she wasn't that careless! Her math had to be wrong. Maybe she got it September third instead and she'd just gotten mixed up for a moment.

Or maybe…maybe she'd forgotten to get it the day of September third. Maybe she'd somehow gotten mixed up in something else.

But what would be _that _important that she'd miss a pill? She tried to think back. What had happened the week of September third?

Well. She and Huey had gotten into an argument over him doing something stupid like running over a rabbit, and they hadn't spoken to each other most of August thirty first or September first. She'd volunteered at a nursing home one the first Saturday of the month, September fifth. She and Cameron _had _gotten coffee and studied physics on September third…but that was during the day! There were twenty four hour pharmacies even if it _hadn't _been during the day! And it wasn't like she was ever so busy at night that she didn't have at least half an hour to go down the street to the freaking CVS.

Unless…well, unless it just so happened that she'd been one of the few people to have to do inventory at her job, which was usually a stressful job all in itself that lasted for _hours _since they were so disorganized.

And maybe she just so _happened _to have not gotten home until nearly two in the morning.

And she _possibly _could've awakened the day after September third and realized her error, breezing to the CVS and picking it up like usual, brushing off the incident since _it was only one pill._

_HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT._

She'd forgotten to take her pill. She'd forgotten to take her goddamn anti-pregnancy, anti-life altering, anti-screw-shit-up pill! This was her fault!

This was _all her fault!_

"Oh, my god," Jazmine whispered to herself, covering her mouth with her hand. How could she have been so…ugh! _Irresponsible_! She was so freaking irresponsible and now thanks to her everything was messed up! It wasn't Huey's fault. It wasn't _their _fault.

It was all her fault, and no one else's.

Oh, crap. She buried her head in her hands, trying not to cry. When she felt the beginnings of her airways tightening she quickly reached into one of the drawers behind her, grabbing her inhaler and puffing on it like it was her lifeline. Which, is basically was since after Huey found out he'd _fucking kill her. _After all, she had to tell him.

She couldn't _not_ tell him! Just _thinking _about doing so though made her practically start hyperventilating, so hard that her _teeth _were chattering. Who did that?

Oh, just irresponsible girls whose irresponsibleness GOT THEM PREGNANT.

She could tell herself that this wasn't her fault, but who was she kidding? This was totally her fault! She finally climbed back to her feet, clicking off the light and numbly walking back into their room. She flopped onto the bed, staring up at the ceiling and sniffling as she attempted to hold back the fountain of tears that were threatening to pour out. She was afraid if they did she wouldn't be able to stop, and then she'd be sobbing like a madman by the time Huey got home, and when he pressed her to tell him what was wrong she'd have to admit that she was a complete moron.

She couldn't just keep this from him, though. She swallowed, pressing her pillow over her head. There was no excuse for her _not _to tell him. After all, if this entire thing was her fault she might as well own up to it. He might have had an attitude problem and aggression issues but he wasn't a psycho. He wasn't like…a _Mel Gibson _type or anything.

At the same time though, he wasn't a sugarcoater. At _all_. If she did tell him he was _not _going to be a happy camper. What if he ended up resenting her for sabotaging everything? What if he got so mad he _left_?

Would he do that? No, she was being insane. He hadn't even wanted her to break up with him after the entire Maya incident when she'd been in Pennsylvania. And she'd used her father's frequent flyer miles just to fly to Chicago, knock on his door, and punch him in the _face_.

Then again, there was one thing to give someone a bruised face and another thing to have their _baby. _

Okay, she was being insane.

…Well, no. She was being irresponsible.

_DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!_

Okay, she had to prepare herself. Because she had to tell him. Otherwise she'd look like one of those insane ho-types who purposefully missed their pills just to get pregnant to keep the guy around or something like that. Hey, it happened on TV _all _the time.

Maybe she could wait until the right time to break it to him, though. She sat up, moving her shoulders up and down. Maybe she could wait until he was in a good enough mood to be able to take it.

Wait, when was he _ever _in a good mood?

…Okay, him being in a good mood was partially what _got _them in this mess in the first place, but that wasn't the point! Maybe if she told him while he was half asleep so that he'd be too drowsy to really react from it-

Then again, he was _never _too tired to harp on someone for something. In fact, he was always alert. What was he, a freaking android?

But…how could he get mad, really? She'd made a mistake. An honest, unplanned, unintentional mistake. How could he seriously penalize her for that?

Wait, what was she saying? He was Huey Freeman. He could penalize a cancer patient for being _bald_.

Alright, that was extreme and potentially offensive, but the point still stood!

She needed advice. Jazmine bit her nail, trying to think of who she could talk to. Cindy? Hell no. Her mouth ran more than Niagara Falls. _Everyone _would know if she went to her.

Well, what about her mom? Her mom was _always _easy to talk to, and she was one of the most non-judgmental people she knew. But still…did she really want to admit to her mother that this was her fault? Would she be as disappointed in her daughter as she was in herself?

Well, there was Riley-

PSSH. She really _was _losing her mind if she thought _that _was a good idea.

She couldn't ask her father. She _definitely _couldn't ask Mr. Freeman. Most her friends were either blabber mouths or mutual friends with Huey who wouldn't hesitate to tell them what she informed them. She could probably call Hiro since he was on the west coast and had better things to do than run his mouth…but he _was _best friends with Maya, which meant he could accidentally mention it in passing and she'd get all twitter happy about it, like she had with other things.

Jazmine shook her head, sniffing and glancing towards the clock. _7:35 pm._

That meant, due to her calculations and Huey's punctual schedule, that he would be home…

…Five minutes ago. Huh?

Well, whatever reason he was late it gave her a reprieve! She jumped up, cutting off the radio that she'd stopped listening to and scurried to the closet to grab a pair of boots. Maybe if she just get out the house, walk around some, grab some tea and get some time to clear her head…well, it would be easier to think of some sort of solution that way, right?

It _had _to be. She managed to shove her right foot into one of her boots, skip hopping to do the other when she heard a key in the front door.

_'Shitshitshit!' _She dropped the boot so that it hit the floor with a loud thud, wincing and taking a deep breath.

Oh, god. She opened her eyes again, tugging off the other boot and tossing it aside as well. She swallowed, trying to keep her breaths slow and even, attempting to put on a poker face such as the one Huey forever walked around with. She heard the front door open and forced her face to go blank, looking up as Huey came into the doorway, stopping and giving her a funny look.

"…Why do you look like you just ate a lemon?"

Her shoulders slumped. So much for _that_.

"No idea." She tossed a shirt aside as he left the room again, no doubt heading for the hall closet. "Uh…how was your day?"

She could tell by the prolonged silence, the deep, exasperated sigh, and the slam of the closet door that Huey's day…probably hadn't been much better than hers. And if that were the case she'd be _mental _to tell him then because a pissed off Huey was…

Well…you just didn't mess with a pissed Huey unless you had a death wish. And sometimes you didn't even want to mess with _non-pissed _Huey.

"Okay." He leaned against the doorframe, his arms folded over his chest and his eyes closed. He looked as if he were trying to keep from going homicidal. "What is today?"

Jazmine blinked. Was this a trick question?

"Er…March tenth-"

"_Day_, Jazmine." He rolled his eyes, missing her nearly petrified expression. "Today's Wednesday, which means that when I parked beside a sign that read, "No Parking Monday through Friday from six to eight am or two to four pm", I had to be aware of the posted times. Right?"

She sighed, nodding. "Yeah."

"So if that's the case-" He whipped out a parking ticket, his expression furious, "-why the hell am I getting a parking ticket for parking there at _five thirteen pm_?"

"Uh-"

"And _then_, I point that shit out and do you know what the cop _does_?"

"Well-"

"He does _this_." Huey presented another ticket with a flourish, rolling his eyes. "I mean, never mind that I was late to class because my engine decided to overheat. Never mind that some white girl in my symbolic logic class spilled a Mountain Dew on my jeans. Never mind that I was offered marijuana by my constitutional law professor, which was pretty ironic but _still _uncalled for. _Never mind _that I have a boss who has to use a calculator to find _eight minus twelve_."

"Maybe…he's integer challenged?" Jazmine managed weakly. Huey tossed her a look so intimidating that she shrank back.

"Maybe someone should have given him the memo that if you're going to be a college professor, _learn your goddamn numbers."_

Oh, yeah. He was _furious. _Jazmine slowly lowered herself onto the edge of the bed while he disappeared out the room again, staring down at her feet.

It didn't matter how angry he was. He'd be even angrier in the long run if she kept it to herself and he found it. She knew how those kinds of situations worked. Sure, he'd been mad and livid and all things bad, but if she knew him as well as she did he'd get over it. It would blow over. They'd be okay.

But still…just in case…

"Hey, Huey?" She forced her voice to be even, lifting her head to stare at the still empty doorway. There was a pause.

"_Yes_?"

Yeesh. It wasn't as if _she'd _given him the freaking tickets.

"I…I need your advice on something."

There was a pause.

"Um…okay."

He sounded wary, and for good reason. For one, she never asked him for his advice; he usually just gave it whenever he felt inclined. For another, she usually just launched into whatever story or question she had, firing it at him and not bothering to ask him, just expecting him to give her the correct answer. She took a deep breath.

"Let's say someone made a bad mistake." She winced at her word choice. "Like, a _bad _mistake." She could hear him shifting in the other room. "Like, a completely irresponsible mistake that could impact other people's lives."

For a moment it was quiet. Then-

"What the hell did you _do_, Jazmine?"

"Nothing! It's just a question!" she shouted back. After more silence she sighed, fumbling with her bracelet. "I don't know, it's just…would you tell the person? Or would you just keep it to yourself?"

She listened to a few honks that sounded outside, staring up at the ceiling as Huey appeared in the doorway again. He looked slightly less annoyed, but not by much.

"The thing about that type of situation," he said in his voice he used whenever he was _trying _to be patient but really just didn't feel like being bothered, "is that different scenarios warrant different reactions." He shrugged. "Do you have any other details that aren't, you know, _vague_?"

She shook her head.

"It's just…the person could get really, really mad." She shrugged as well, chancing a look at him. "I feel like they should know, but-"

"Is it life or death?"

"Huh?" Jazmine gave him a funny look. He leaned against the doorframe, yawning.

"Is is life or death?" When she continued to look confused he shook his head, annoyed. "I mean is it something where if the person _doesn't _know it'll make or break them? If they aren't aware of the information, will it impact them in any way?" When she looked reluctant still he sighed. "If they _don't _know, will it hurt them?"

She took a deep breath, shaking her head. "No. But-"

"So don't say anything." He turned around, waving his hand; to him, the conversation was already over, problem solved. "It makes no sense to get people worked up over voluntary information."

Jazmine nodded, frowning. "Okay." After a few seconds she hastily added, "Thanks."

"No problem."

There _was _a problem; she felt like even though he'd given his answer, it still wasn't the right one. Even if she were to follow his advice and keep it to herself, she'd be wrong. She knew that.

She shook her head, crawling up to her side of the bed and flopping down. She tugged the covers over her head, squeezing her eyes shut. She heard movement by the door.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded before realizing he probably couldn't see it.

"Yeah." She opened her eyes and exhaled, sighing. "I'm fine."

She knew that on an average day he'd be on to her, but he was obviously too wrapped up in his own things to press her and it was fine with her. She heard him disappear out the room again and once again closed her eyes.

_'The truth will set you free.'_

Well. She tried to clear her mind, but to no avail. "Great," she mumbled, feeling the guilt creep among her insides. "This is fabulous."

If the truth really set one free then she was one guilty mother fucker, so she supposed that she'd need to get used to the chains that came with lying.

Better yet, she'd need to get used to price of being exactly what everyone said she was.

Irresponsible.

She curled up into as tight a ball as she could, letting the guilt come on in since they were gonna be in it for the long haul.

* * *

:O

...I have nothing constructive to say about that. Haha.

So uh...wanna review? Please? No? Ah, MEAN.

Joking. Thanks for reading! :D

-Kelsey


	32. Interview with a Freeman

Update four! SUCCESS! :D

Thanks to Secrets4theunderground, whose already gotten around to reviewing! Woo! So excited right now.

So, I hope you guys enjoyed the clusterfuck of reading that you've done if you read straight through. And uh...yeah...that's about it. Keep your eye out for more updates! I don't do it regularly during school but the_y do _happen sometimes.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

* * *

Interview with a Freeman

When Jazmine had innocently mentioned aloud that she and Huey probably needed to think of some ideas for childcare come the following fall, she'd been pleased when he'd agreed that they should make that a priority.

But…well, she hadn't been expecting _this_.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" she asked with a slightly reluctant tone as she sat beside him on the couch, her socked feet propped up on the coffee table. "I mean, it just seems kind of…strange."

"Nigga can we at least _eat _first?" Riley grumbled from Jazmine's other side, his arms crossed over his chest. Huey, who was glancing down at a sheet of paper, looked up and rolled his eyes.

"Yes, this is a good idea and no, sit there and shut the hell up." When Jazmine continued to look unsure he shrugged. "A regular daycare would cost an arm and a leg…and maybe another leg. And…maybe our souls." Jazmine frowned. "If we could find a decent babysitter it would be more reasonable to our income."

"But I don't want just anybody watching them!"

"Exactly." He glanced towards the door. "Which is why we're doing this. Ain't no way I'm gonna have to worry about some nutcase running off to Mexico with our child or whatever…next!"

The front door opened, a man sticking his head in. Huey snorted, shaking his head and scratching off a name on the sign up list without even bothering to give him the chance to open his mouth.

"Goodbye."

"Huey!" Jazmine swatted his arm. "Seriously?"

"Yeah…not feeling the male babysitter thing too well." When Jazmine continued to glare at him he shrugged. "Um, as much as I despise the idea, you _could _be having a girl. And a _male _babysitter for our potentially female infant? Besides, niggas are just crazy period. Nuh uh."

Jazmine blinked before slowly leaning over to see past Huey. The man blinked at her, confused.

"Goodbye!" she yelled, giving him a wave before clearing her throat. "Next!"

'Man, dis _sucks_." Riley sucked his teeth.

"Well, no one told you to come." Huey shook his head, crossing off something on his page. "You were the one hell bent on helping pick out your future niece or nephew's babysitter…we said next!" he suddenly snapped over his shoulder. "Damn! Ain't nobody tell ya'll to take all day!"

The door opened again, a short woman slowly pushing it open and shuffling in. She held her handbag in front of her, her expression timid. Jazmine sat up, offering her a smile.

"Hi! Thanks for coming."

The woman blinked, glancing around.

"…Que?"

Huey, Riley and Jazmine exchanged looks.

"Next!" the three of them chanted in unison. The woman frowned, scratching her head. Huey rolled his eyes, waving his hand in a "shoo" motion.

"¿Pozo? Adios!" he snapped, since she was obviously having some difficulty figuring out what to do. Jazmine looked at him in surprise. Riley's eyebrows shot up. The woman glared.

"Usted es malo!" she shot back. Huey's eyes narrowed.

"No doy una maldición! Usted ahora va!"

The woman's eyes filled with tears and she spun on her heel, racing through the door. Jazmine's eyebrows shot up.

"Huey, what did you _say_?"

He snorted. "She told me I was a bad person and I basically told her I didn't give a damn and to beat it."

Riley burst out laughing. Jazmine frowned.

"Huey, what have I told you about being insensitive to people's-"

"You _never _said-" Huey pointed out. "I couldn't be insensitive to people's fragile emotions in _Spanish_."

"Well, _fine_." Jazmine rolled her eyes. "You can't be insensitive to people's fragile emotions in English _or _Spanish. Happy?"

"Well, I guess I still have Chinese…" When Jazmine glared at him he shrugged. "Fine! I'll stick with-"

"No insulting anyone in _any _language, you multilingual-"

"Aye! _Aye_!" The three of them glanced towards the door to see Earl sticking his head in, scratching his neck. "Ya'll got some-"

"NO!" Huey, Riley and Jazmine all yelled in unison; Riley picked up an Xbox controller and hurled it towards the drug addict, smacking him square in the nose and causing him to roar out in pain. His head vanished from view.

"You badass kids! I'm suin'!"

"_Anyway_," Huey continued, as if that hadn't just happened; Jazmine glanced over his shoulder at the list. "It would most likely work more in our favor to hire someone as opposed to going to an already organized establishment where we'd be contributing more money to the white man-"

"Oh, here we go." Jazmine flopped back in her spot, making quotation marks with her fingers. ""The white man". You're always blaming things on the white man!"

"Uh, because there's hardly anything you _can't _blame on the white man!" Huey glanced towards the door. "Speaking of…goodbye!"

"Aw, shucks." A tall, bald headed white guy wearing a red shirt with the confederate flag on it turned on his heel, trudging out the door. "This _sucks_."

"All I'm trying to say," Jazmine explained patiently. "is that while there are a lot of things you _can _blame on the white man, not all of them are plausible."

Huey looked at her as if she were speaking one of the few foreign languages he _didn't _know. "What?"

"Okay." Jazmine sighed. "I just think it would be a little…_uncomfortable _for you to say things like that in front of our child. You know, the child who is going to be, as much as you avoid that fact, a quarter white."

Huey blinked. "…What?"

"Why do I get the feeling that whenever I try to offer another viewpoint you don't agree with you just wind up ignoring-"

"_What_?"

"I'm done." Jazmine threw up her hands, rolling her eyes and glaring towards the other side of the room. "Yup. I don't care! Nope, just go ahead and keep being prejudice. That's fine. But when the white man gets sick of it and comes after you with some lynchin' rope and white hoods, _don't _say I didn't warn you!"

Riley stared at her as if she were nuts. Huey tipped his head to the side as he examined her with a semi-amused expression.

"Feel better now?"

She sighed. "Yup."

"You know, that sort of kind of _almost _hurt my feelings."

Jazmine snorted. "But it didn't, because you don't _have _those."

"Well at least you caught on by yourself." Turning away from Jazmine as her jaw dropped he cupped his hands around his mouth. "Next!"

"Hey, ya'll!" A thin, dark skinned man with a pink bandana tied around his braids and his hand on his hip sashayed into the apartment as if he owned the place, striking a pose as he stopped in front of the trio. "How you doin?"

Riley's jaw dropped.

"Uhhhh!" He pointed towards the man. "Nigga, you gay!"

"We see that, Riley." Huey rolled his eyes, turning away from his homophobe brother to write something down in his notebook. He glanced up. "You're…Angie Simon, right?"

"You betta believe it, honey!" "Angie" snapped his fingers. Huey sucked his teeth.

"Riggggght…don't call me that."

"So, tell us a little about yourself!" Jazmine said brightly, sitting up and beaming at the man. In contrast to Huey's younger sibling, Jazmine was all about gay rights. She dragged Huey, who was all for equality for all but didn't exactly go flying to parades, to Gay Pride marches. She'd wrote a speech pertaining to the issue in her public speaking class that was so popular with her university that she'd wound up giving it at some seminar downtown. She'd taken the line "You can't pray away the gay!" from some TV show and made t shirts, the profits all going to some activist group that advocated gay rights! If it involved oil spills or corrupted politicians she couldn't care less, but if PETA or someone gay was involved she was all over that.

So, it didn't come as much of a surprise that she'd taken a shine to this guy already.

Angie's expression turned thoughtful. "Lemme see…I'm an Aries. And I _love _to dance, ooh it keep me so fit gurl! And I like shopping, hanging out with my friends-"

"Okay, how about you tell us some of your educational background or previous job experiences." Huey sighed, exasperated. Angie flashed him a grin.

"Sure thing, cutie pie!"

"And, once again…don't call me that."

Angie merely smiled before going on. "Well, I went to Boston University-"

"Really?" Jazmine bolted up, beaming. "_I'm _from Boston!"

"For real, gurl? Me, too!" Angie's face lit up. Huey groaned.

"Okay, you're from Boston, Jazmine's from Boston, everyone's from damn Boston. Great!" He snapped his fingers. "Go on..."

"Sorry, babycakes."

"Don't-"

"Call you that. I'm sorry." Angie giggled. "You're just so _cute_."

Huey gave him a blank stare. Jazmine snickered. Riley was breathing heavily though his nostrils, his eyes squeezed shut and his lips moving almost silently.

_"_Dis nigga gay…dis nigga _gay_…"

"Anyway, I got a bachelor's in Sociology, I moved to Chicago cause, I mean, Chicago is _fabulous_!"

"True," Huey couldn't help but agree, nodding. "Go on."

"And then, I fell in love." Angie sighed, batting his eyelashes. "His name was Damien Green-"

"Dis. Nigga. _Gay_!"

"We _know_, Riley!" Huey and Jazmine shot towards him in unison before focusing back on their interviewee. Jazmine shifted in her spot.

"_Was _Damien Green?"

"Well, yeah." Angie's expression turned grave. "He died."

"Oh." The always empathetic Jazmine frowned. "I'm sorry-"

"Oh, it's alright." Angie waved his hand casually. "I killed him."

The three interviewers froze, exchanging looks. Huey blinked.

"…I'm sorry, I think I heard you wrong? Could you repeat that?"

"I killed him." Angie shrugged, examining his nails. "Mmm hmm. Damien loved them French broads so much, with their fake breasts and their damn wigs and those terrible _man _shoulders…so since he loved French men so much, I decided that he could join them."

"Join…them…" Huey's eyes narrowed. "Wait, you killed _them too_?"

"Dis nigga a gay ass murderer!" Riley shook his head. Jazmine clutched a pillow to her chest, swallowing.

"If I couldn't have him, _none of them could_." Angie's voice shot down to a baritone, causing all of their eyes to widen. After a few moments of tense silence he giggled, flipping back his braids. "Oh, well! Hahahaha!"

"Eh heh heh…heh…next!" Jazmine shrieked. Angie's nose shot in the air.

"_Well_." He shimmied back towards the door before spinning around, blowing a kiss towards Huey. "I'll see you around, handsome."

Huey sighed while Riley made gagging noises and Jazmine blinked at the man with wide eyes. Huey shook his head.

"Hopefully, you won't."

Angie disappeared out the door and the three of them stared at each other.

"That nigga," Riley said, shaking his head, "was _gay_."

Huey glared at him. "Of all the things _wrong _with that man, you think being gay was the issue?"

Riley paused, then nodded. "Yup!"

"Okay." Jazmine's face was pale. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking…?"

"If you are also thinking that the second this is over I should change the locks, then yes," Huey replied, still looking slightly mortified. She nodded, sighing in relief.

"_Good._"

"Dat nigga was _gay_!"

"How about we try _not _to hire ex murderers?" Jazmine said, ignoring Riley.

"Fine by me." Huey crossed a name off the page, glancing over his shoulder. "_Next_! I _know _ya'll ain't deaf!"

There was a pause before a woman shuffled in, dressed in black from head to toe. Her inky dark hair fell down to hide her face and her head was bowed, her shoulders slumped. She stopped in front of them, slowly looking up.

"Hey."

The three of them blinked. Huey made a face. Jazmine shook her socked feet from side to side, giving the woman a smile.

"Hi! What's your name?"

The woman looked back to the floor, shrugging. "Molly."

"Okay." Huey sat up. "Well-"

"But most people," she interrupted, her voice a low monotone. "Call me Raven, the princess of darkness. The angel of Anarchy. The queen of _death_."

"Ohhhhhh." Jazmine laughed nervously. "Those…are creative nicknames…" When Huey shot her a look of disbelief she visibly cringed. "I…appreciate individual expression?"

"Okay." Huey shook his head. How did he always wound up _surrounding _himself with nutcases? "So, tell us something about yourself."

The woman shrugged again.

"I enjoy cemeteries," she said in a hollow tone. The three of them blinked at her. "They make me feel alive. I have a pet fish named Lucifer. I collect IV bags from the hospital near Howard Avenue and sometimes when the moon is full I'll build a bonfire to pay homage to the tormented souls who were here before me, but are no longer of this earth. The lucky bastards."

Jazmine started choking. Riley was so stunned he didn't even _have _anything to say. Huey nodded.

"Okay, thank you for your time…next!"

"I hate this life." The woman shook her head, slouching out the room. After she left Jazmine shivered.

"I feel like…she sucked up all the happy and took it _with _her."

"As messed up as she is, I'm pretty sure she needs it." Huey looked up, and then he was rolling his eyes. "Oh, _hell _naw. Next!"

"Huey!" Jazmine punched him in the shoulder. The man, holding a bible in one hand and a cross in the other, frowned. "He's a Catholic priest!"

"Jazmine." Huey gave her a look. "We are having a baby. He is a _Catholic priest_. We are _having a baby_." When she merely blinked in confusion he rolled his eyes. "He is a_ Catholic priest _and we are entrusting him with a_ young child_."

Jazmine slowly shook her head.

"But-"

"Seen the news lately?"

Her brow lifted. And then, her eyes widened.

"Ohhhh." She paused. "Ew!" She waved her hand towards the man. "Buh bye! Shoo!"

The priest gave them all dirty looks, pointing his cross towards the three of them.

"The heavenly father will smite thee!"

"Blah blah, so I've been told." Huey rolled his eyes. "You come to accept your fate of eternal damnation." Ignoring Jazmine's glare he waved his hand. "Now get out!"

"Huey." Jazmine was massaging her temples, exhaling through her nose. "Although I can respect you're your reasoning behind your actions, I sometimes think you forget that I am also Catholic."

"Yeah. I _try _to forget." He turned towards the door again as Jazmine shot him a dirty look, wringing her hands in a strangling motion and lifting them so that they were inches from his neck. "Next!"

The door opened wider, a black girl wearing a pair of heels, a mini skirt, and a cropped top walking in. Riley's jaw dropped.

"Ooh! She hired!"

"We ain't even interviewed her yet!" Jazmine snapped, clutching the pillow to her chest and muttering about stupid showoffs under her breath. The woman stopped in front of the three of them, flipping her curly hair over her shoulders and giving them a grin.

"How are you doing today?" She nodded. "The name's Destiny. Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Huey and Riley's jaws dropped. Jazmine cleared her throat, shooting them both looks.

"Wat, yo ass need a cough drop?" Riley asked. Jazmine picked up the notebook, rapping both men upside the head with it.

"Oof!"

"_Ow_!"

"What the _hell_?" they both snapped in unison. Jazmine tossed the notebook onto the table, folding her arms across her chest and shooting the woman a hostile look.

"Hello, Destiny."

Not at all fazed by any of their behavior she examined her nails, her free hand on her hip.

"So, I came to inquire about a babysitting job?" She pointed towards the floor. "This is the right place, right?"

"Uh, _duh_-"

"Shut up!" Riley snapped towards Jazmine, rolling his eyes. Huey, who had at least snapped out of it long enough to look over the list, glanced back up.

"So, what experience do you have that qualifies you to be an adequate babysitter?"

"Well, I _love _children," Destiny said in a smooth voice, smiling at both him and Riley. "And they love me." She winked. "_Everyone _ends up loving me sooner or later."

"Then I hope you get tested…" Jazmine mumbled, rolling her eyes again and staring at the ceiling. Of course her words went unnoticed.

"Pick her! _Pick her_!" Riley was nearly jumping up and down, his hazel eyes filled with adoration. "She da one, man!"

"We need credentials, Riley." Huey rolled his eyes, glancing back to the woman. Riley snickered.

"Who needs credentials when you gots boobs- _OW_!"

"I can tell this would get really ugly _really _fast," Huey said, sighing and shaking his head. "So I'm gonna have to say next." He shrugged when the girl gave him a crestfallen look. "Sorry."

For a moment it was silent. Then, she shrugged.

"So, if I _were _to show my boobs-"

"No."

"_No_!"

"_YES PLEASE."_

"Just…ugh." Huey buried his face in his hands, the woman _finally _walking out. Riley sucked his teeth.

"Damn, Jazzy!" She blinked at him. "Always gotta fuck shit up!" Her eyebrows rose. "If yo ass won' here I woulda been in dem draws fo _sho_!"

"First off, if I wasn't pregnant in the _first _place, you never would've come across her," Jazmine couldn't help but point out. "Secondly, she was definitely a…whatever."

"Sooo…you wuz hatin'?"

Jazmine started to open her mouth, then closed it again. She held up her index finger, nodding.

"You know what?" Her tone was deadpan. "Yeah. I have no problem admitting that. I _was _hating."

"Don't know why," Huey mumbled, not looking up from where he was writing in his notebook. When both Jazmine and Riley gave him confused looks he shrugged, turning the page. "Once you got past the fact that she was articulate, there really wasn't anything appealing. And she wasn't very appealing to begin with."

"Are you serious?"

"Definitely."

Jazmine beamed, checking her cell phone. Huey lifted his head, leaning backwards so that he could mouth to Riley behind her back.

_"I wasn't serious."_

"What?"

"Huh?" Huey straightened, shrugging and giving Jazmine a casual look. "Nothing."

"Okay." She flopped back, resting her hands in her lap. "This basically got us _nowhere_."

"I told ya'll niggas to just ask Aunt Cookie!" Riley pointed out. Huey rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but Aunt Cookie has her own life too, Riley." He shook his head, scratching out something and sighing. "Whoever we get as a babysitter would be needed _a lot_, and it would be a time consuming job."

"Well." Jazmine bit her lip, twiddling her thumbs and staring at her feet. "Maybe if we can't, you know, find a babysitter I could…take a semester off."

Huey looked at her as if she were nuts.

"Maybe."

"That idea," Huey said as Jazmine sat up a bit straighter, looking back at him, "has to be…"

She blinked.

"…The dumbest idea ever."

Riley let out a low whistle, pressing his palms into the couch cushions so that he could push himself up to his feet.

"Yea…ima let ya'll work dat one out…"

"I mean, think about it," Jazmine said, drawing her knees towards her chest and resting her hands on top. "It would be saving income. I could alternate shifts so that when you're not in school I could work, or if you're working-"

"No." Huey didn't even look up that time. "That's stupid."

"How's it _stupid_?" she snapped, giving him an annoyed look. "You're not even _listening _to me-"

"Because I already know what you're going to say. It's not that hard to figure out." He closed the notebook, tossing it on the table in front of them and rolling his eyes. "You're going to tell me that it would be much easier than entrusting a stranger with our child. You'll proceed to tell me that after we've gotten into the flow of things and made our adjustments you'll return to school and everything will work out. But that's crap."

Jazmine's eyes narrowed. How did he _do _that?

"Why is it crap that I'm trying to keep you from falling behind-"

"Because then _you _fall behind, Jazmine!" he snapped, tapping his forehead. "I don't need you to think about my wellbeing or whatever. I got this."

"Well I'm only trying to _help_," she said in a low voice, her eyes narrowing even more. "You don't have to be such a jerk about it-"

"Deez Cocoa Puffs is da _bomb_!" Riley suddenly said, munching away from a bowl that he held as he walked out the kitchen. When he saw their expressions, however, he shook his head and made a U-turn. "Uh…nevamind…"

"And I don't know why you're being so dramatic with it!"

"I'm not being dramatic!" Jazmine threw up her hands. "For the first time in practically my whole life, I'm being realistic! And the reality of it is that there's a good chance one of us _isn't _gonna be able to finish school!" He blinked. "I mean, _god_. Even _you _should know that!"

Since when did he and Jazmine role reverse? Huey shook his head, sighing.

"Look-"

"No, _you _look," Jazmine snapped abruptly, making his eyebrows rise. "If it comes down to us not being able to find a babysitter then I'm taking a break. I don't care what you say. I don't care what you think about it, what you have to say about it…it's not my problem." She stood up, glaring down at him. "Because if I feel like doing that for the sake of our child then I don't see why it's such a big deal!"

"It's a big deal," Huey said calmly, rubbing his forehead, "because, in case your memory suddenly decided to vacate the premises, you've wanted to go to medical school since we were _ten_."

"_So_?" Jazmine replied acidly.

"_So _you don't just go throwing that by the wayside!" he shot back, sitting up straighter. "This is something you have to think about. I mean, _really _think about. Because your decision could-"

"Could _what_?" Jazmine said tartly, her hand on her hip. "It could impact my future?" When he merely stared up at her she snorted, rolling her eyes. For some reason she seemed particularly hostile. "In case _your _memory suddenly decided to vacate the premises, our futures were impacted a good six months ago! And maybe I _have _changed my mind!" Tears were pricking the corners of her eyes. "Maybe I don't want to go to medical school anymore! Maybe I _can't _make it to medical school! In fact, hey! Maybe I can't even make it out of my damn _undergrad_!" She stepped over his legs, stomping towards their room. Huey sat up.

_Whoa_. She was _definitely _freaking out.

"Jazmine-"

She whirling around, massaging her temples; her features were softer, but she still didn't look much calmer.

"I can't _do _it, Huey," she said softly, shaking her head and sighing. "Okay? I can't." He gave her a confused look. "Maybe _you _can, because you're smart and capable and driven and all that other good stuff, but I'm just _not_. I can't have a baby and do school. I just can't. And I didn't want to admit it before but…it's not working." She sniffed; surprisingly, her voice came out clear and calm. "I can't do it and I'm sick of trying when in the end it doesn't matter because I'm just gonna _fail_."

"Aw, come on, Jazmine-" Huey started, but she was shaking her head, going into their room and slamming the door shut. He sighed, shaking his head and glancing towards Riley, who had ventured out the kitchen. He groaned, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I have no idea," he said, running his hands over his face, "how that just happened."

"Cuz, nigga!" Riley flopped down beside him, shrugging and now munching on a sandwich. "She been stressin' bout school _forreal_. Man, her ass was sobbing over some _physics_ during spring break. She crackin', son."

"You know," Huey said sarcastically, shooting him a dirty look. "It would have been very helpful if someone actually _told _me that!."

"Then ask her ya damn self!" Riley pointed out, taking another large bite of his sandwich. "You live wit her. She _yo _girlfriend. Ain' mah fault ya'll communication sucks."

"Well…it usually doesn't."

"Well it do now, so work dat shit out." Riley wiped his mouth with his sleeve. "Cuz it's only gon get worse. An you don' want it ta get to tha point where ya'll sayin' shit ya'll don't mean or whateva."

Huey nodded, leaning back in his spot. Riley continued eating.

"You know the worst part about what she said?" Huey suddenly asked, causing Riley to lift his head. When he did so Huey sighed. "She said that one of us probably isn't gonna be able to finish school…and she's right." When Riley merely blinked at him he closed his eyes. "And the even worse part is, as selfish as it sounds…I don't know if I'm willing to be the person who doesn't."

"Well, she already said she ain' wanna do school no mo' so-"

"I don't care _what _she said," Huey snapped, cutting Riley off with a glare. "She said it because she feels like it's her responsibility to do that, and it's not."

"Then whose is it?" Riley asked, blinking at his older brother. Huey paused before shaking his head.

"That's a good question." Riley bit into his sandwich again and he stared up at the ceiling, both of them falling into a contemplative silence. "I really don't know."

* * *

Time...to go party.

Okay, more like go home and clean since everyone else is moving in this weekend, go snatch up some free food, go laugh at some Freshmen and SEE MY FUTURE HUSBAND WALE TOMORROW! AHHHHHHHHHH!

...Soooo, you should review. Yeah :P

Seriously though, take it easy and enjoy your weekends! Thanks for reading! :D

-Kelsey


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